04x06 - Game of Groans

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

You're watching The Insect Channel:

making viewers itchy since .

♪ [fanfare]

HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

The Renaissance Fair is back for another limited stay

at Downtown City Park.

Ye olde arts, crafts, music, fun and a fully immersive experience

that is the closest you'll ever come to medieval times

without actually contracting the plague!

And while at the fair,

don't forget to feast on one of our king-sized tofu turkey legs,

'The Royal Henry'!

Gobble, Gobble!

Ah! Will you look at that!

[slurp]

I can almost taste you.

Uh, Vinnie?

♪♪

Oh. I'm licking the TV again, aren't I?

Yes.

So come to the fair and travel back in time, the medieval way!

I really want to go to that more than anything on Earth,

Middle or otherwise.

But I bet they don't welcome pets.

TV: And as an added bonus,

the Renaissance Fair now welcomes pets!

I'm going!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, count us in!

Indeed. We would very much like to eat a 'Royal Henry'.

Heh heh! Or twelve!

Gobble Gobble!

Haw haw haw! Hee hee hee!

Now we just need to convince someone to take us.

Well, I know the perfect 'maiden' for such a quest.

♪ You think about all the things ♪

♪ That you love to do

♪ It all comes true

♪ You find a place you never knew ♪

♪ Where you're happy to

♪ Just be you!

♪ We can be [yeah]

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me We can be [yeah] ♪

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me

♪♪

Thanks for coming with us to the Renaissance Fair, Youngmee.

The pets convinced me I'd love it!

And I know you'll love it too!

I don't know...

Have I ever told you about my inexplicable fear

of jester hats?

Uh, no, but...really? They're so cute and jingly.

Jingly... [shiver]

♪ [harp flourish]

Oh, Sir Hedge, thank you for saving me

from the clutches of that fire-breathing dragon.

'Tis not a bother, fair Maiden Penny Ling.

As the sworn protector of this realm,

it is my duty to help the helpless.

To empower the powerless. To save the...uh..

Saveless?

That'll work. Ah-ha, look'est anon!

If it isn't my dutiful and noble compatriots,

the Duke of Sunil and the Baron Von Vincent.

Good morrow, kind sirs.

A good morrow indeed!

And now, onward to save more pathetic wretches in peril.

No offense, fair maiden.

None taken.

Huzzah!

[sigh]

Yummers. I can almost taste those 'Royal Henrys' now.

I skipped lunch just so I'll be good and hungry.

Yes. I too cannot wait. This is going to be such fun.

Isn't that right, Russell?

Verily, Duke of Sunil. Verily.

Did he just call me 'Duke'?

I thought he called you 'verily'.

OK, everybody, we're here!

Wow, the costumes are amazing!

Yes, they're very nice. I just don't want to see a-

Good morrow, fair maidens!

[scream]

Welcome to the Downtown City Renaissance Fair.

Forsooth, I knoweth not your names.

Um...I am Lady Blythe. And this is...

...Lady I'm-Not-Staying.

Well, I guess I could hang around for a little bit longer.

HUZZAH!

HUZZAH!

Are they going to yell that a lot?

I'll say, 'yes'.

[clang]

Lady Blythe and Lady I'm-Not-Staying,

I must deliver sorrowful news.

Is there any way you could take off your hat

before delivering it?

As you wish, M'lady.

[teeth chattering]

So why can't we enter?

Alas, pets are not permitted within the main area

of the fairgrounds.

What did he say?

But the TV commercial said that pets were welcomed.

Aye. 'Tis in fact true, Lady Blythe,

but they're only welcomed in 'Ye Olde Pet Zone.'

[yawn]

[clatter]

[groan]

But do not distress, young damsels;

they will be well cared for. Off to 'Ye Olde Pet Zone' we go.

♪ [flute]

So, I'm guessing this means we follow him?

It would appear so.

[moan]

Don't worry; I'll bring you back some 'Royal Henrys'!

So, it's not exactly what we were expecting.

But it has its own...

Baaaaa!

...charm?

Not the word I was thinking of.

Well, Blythe said she'd be back soon,

so in the meantime, maybe we can have some fun.

[British accent] Did I hear someone say 'fun'?

Good morrow, friends.

They callest me, Shakespeare.

I am the resident 'ac-tour' in this realm.

Three-years studied in the

Bestminster Kennel Club Repertory Company.

But you may have seen my work in the

'Shakespeare in the Dog Park' performance of...

'Oh, Fellow!' I played 'Fellow'.

I missed it.

I didn't miss it at all.

Tis a shame. The critics said I really chewed up the scenery

in that one. It was delicious!

Oh, look, there's a concession stand.

Let's see if we can score us some grub

until our 'Royal Henrys' get here. Whoo hoo!

This place is actually kind of fun...

as long as I don't focus on the... you-know-whats.

Hey, let's get a selfie to remember this moment by.

OK.

HEY!

[frightened whimper]

Hey, give that back! I'm not eligible for an upgrade yet.

Magical instruments of Merlin

are not permitted in this kingdom!

Um, apologies, good sir knight.

If thou'st give'th back'eth yon instrument of Merlin,

we doth promise not to use it to cast any black spells anon.

Forsooth and so on. Know what I'm saying?

Whoa. That was pretty impressive, Blythe.

What can I say? I have a way with knights.

'Ye Olde Kibble Stand'.

Do you call the kibble 'Ye Olde' just for effect?

Nay. The kibble is really old.

I'll pass.

Guess we'll just have to wait for Blythe

to bring us our 'Royal Henrys'.

[stomach growls]

You said a mouthful, stomach.

Ugh! I know this is the 'pet area',

but there's a whole big Ren Fair out there...

And I will not allow my friends to hunger any longer!

[British accent] Besides, did we not come here

for some medieval fun and adventure?

Yes, we did!

Then it is medieval fun and adventure we shall have!

We're going to the real Ren Fair.

Why are we hiding behind this barrel?

So we aren't spotted by the guards

as we make our jump over yon castle wall.

You do know it's more of a broken fence

than a castle wall, don't you?

Yeah. And there's like four sections

that are completely missing.

HAZZZAAAAAHHHHHH!

Pole vault. Ha-ha!

♪♪

Stylish landing. Ha-ha!

Security here is terrible. We just walked right out the gate.

Yes. I believe it was harder to get in.

I bid you, do you smell that?

[sniff]

'Royal Henrys'!

Baron Von Vincent! Duke of Sunil! Come back!

[splat]

Huzzah! I soaketh the bloketh!

Whoa, Youngmee.

You're really getting into this whole Ren Fair experience,

aren't you?

I find if I keep myself busy,

I don't think so much about the... terrifying toppers.

Wow, if I'd known how severe your aversion was,

I definitely wouldn't have brought you here.

No worries. It's about time I conquer my fear.

[shiver]

I think.

Let's go check out the 'Ye Olde Medieval Garb' booth

for some medieval garbs.

♪♪

Lords and ladies, let's doth put your hands together

for the musical stylings of the 'Midnight Luters'.

Hey, Blythe, I think the boy in the green tights

and playing the lute back there is Josh Sharp.

Who-to-the-what now?

No. Couldn't be. I mean, seriously...

What would an ultra-cool guy like Josh be doing

playing the lute at a Ren Fair?

Yeah... I guess you're right.

But can you imagine if Josh saw me in this get-up?

That would be beyond embarrassing.

C'mon, Youngmee, let's go soak some more blokes.

Huzzah!

[crash]

♪♪

Look! There's one!

♪♪

Huzzah, good sir, I'll take one of your finest 'Royal Henrys'.

Hello?

It appears to be closed.

Closed? Is this some kind of sick joke?

[stomach growls]

Yes, stomach, that's exactly what I'm trying to find out.

There must be an open 'Royal Henry' stand

around here somewhere.

Well, what are we waiting for? Let the quest begin!

♪♪

[stomach growls]

♪♪

[crash]

♪♪

♪♪

[stomach growls]

Ugh! I can't believe it! We've been everywhere in this fair

and there's not a single 'Royal Henry' to be found!

Well, look on the bright side:

At least we're not in 'Ye Olde Pet Zone'.

[clang clang]

Omph!

'At least we're not in 'Ye Olde Pet Zone'... SHEESH!

Pst. Hey! Word at the fair is that you pets want to know

where to get some 'Royal Henrys'.

Shivers!

Shhh! I'm not comfortable speaking out here in the open.

Lord Twigg has scouts everywhere.

Lord Twigg?

Don't say that name! Come with me.

Announcer: Attention! The 'Midnight Luters' will be

strolling through the realm for your listening pleasure.

Tipping is appreciated.

Blythe! 'Ye Olde Soothsayer' just told me

that we're going to have a big surprise in our future.

A big surprise? I wonder what that could be.

I think I know. Look!

♪♪

Zounds! It's Josh Sharpe! It was him we saw earlier.

Wow, that soothsayer is good!

I can't let him see me here, dressed like this!

We have to get out of here

before something terrible happens.

What's going on, Shivers?

Yes. Why do you look so troubled?

Every year, I have looked forward to the Ren Fair.

But not anymore.

Because, now a big mean guy rules over Pet Ren Fair

and its pet-sants. A beaver named Lord Twigg.

Lord Twigg?

Don't say that name!

He sits on his Throne of Sticks forcing the pet-sants

to bring him all the fair's 'Royal Henrys'!

That monster!

[stomach growls]

Right, a monster. That's what I said.

Lord Twigg must be stopped. Shivers, I promise

that my fellow 'Knights of the Round Pet Dish' and I

will defeat Lord Twigg and free the pet-sants

from his steely grip.

'Knights of the Round Pet Dish'? What is Russell talking about?

Shivers, where can I find this Lord Twigg?

On his 'Throne of Sticks', where he always is.

I would like you to take me to him straight away. Huzzah.

[galloping hooves sound]

Can we get something to eat first?

I'm really hungry!

[stomach growls]

I know, stomach. Get off my back!

I mean... stomach.

Blythe, wait up!

[gasp] You have got to be kidding.

UGH! If Josh sees me in all my Ren Fair glory,

he'll never think I'm cool enough

to be the girl of his dreams.

Blythe, you're forgetting the fact

that Josh is also at the Ren Fair.

And he's wearing green tights and playing a lute!

Hey, you're right.

What am I so worried about? Josh is here at a Ren Fair!

Who knew he was into nerd stuff?

Who knew he owned a pair of tights and a lute?

[giggle]

Actually, it's all pretty cool! Hi, Josh!

[music stops abruptly]

Blythe?

Huzzah!

♪♪

There it is: The Throne of Sticks. Home of Lord Twigg.

Hey, who are youse guys?

We demand to see Lord Twigg!

Yeah? Well, Lord Twigg don't like no visitors.

Tell him that Sir Hedge and his 'Knights of the Round Pet Dish'

are here to release his evil grip

on the pet-sants of the park.

Uh...OK.

♪♪

Hey, boss, there's someone here to see youse.

A Sir Madge, or somethin'...or somethin' or other.

Boys, you know I don't care for visitors at dinnertime.

[gasp] He's eating a 'Royal Henry'.

[stomach growl]

Uh, Mr. Lord Twigg, can I have a little bite

of your 'Royal Henry'?

You see? Dis is why I don't like visitors at dinnertime.

No, you can't have a bite! I don't even know you!

Lord Twigg, I demand you release your grip on the animals

of this realm and return all of the 'Royal Henry's'

to their booths, or face the consequences.

Now, I don't know what youse just said

because dat was a lot of weird words in there,

but it sounded like a thr*at.

So boys?

Take dese pet-sants back to 'Ye Olde Weirdo Town'!

You haven't seen the last of us.

[crash]

Perhaps we should just go back and wait for Blythe.

Yeah. And maybe we can grab a delicious smoothie on the way.

Thanks for your nice, but completely unsuccessful attempt

to dethrone Lord Twigg.

Shivers, I made you a promise that I intend to keep.

We will defeat Lord Twigg for all things just and good.

Am I right, sir knights?

Do you come here often?

First time. It's fun.

It is. 'Ren-fairing' is one of my guilty pleasures

that I keep secret.

But you probably don't know anything about that, do you?

Actually, I know exactly what it's like

to have a 'secret part' of your life.

And, don't worry Josh, your secret's safe with us.

Hey, what do you say we go grab a couple of 'Royal Henrys'?

Great idea.

♪♪

OK, we'll use the element of surprise

to take out those frogs,

then we'll capture the Throne of Sticks.

Do you both understand the plan?

[stomach growl]

I knew we should've gotten a smoothie first.

HUZZAH!

Mmmm. These things are delicious.

Good thing I've got a year's worth stashed away

right here in my throne.

You have a year's worth of 'Royal Henrys' in your throne?

Wha? Huh?

Vinnie, didn't I hear you say that you're hungry?

About a million times. I'm starving!

Well, I know exactly where to find a big supply

of 'Royal Henrys'.

Whoa!

♪♪

[rumbling]

[expl*si*n]

Lord Twigg, your reign of terror is over!

I'll get you for this, Sir Madge, or whatever your name is!

The name is Sir Hedge of Russellton!

All hail, Sir Hedge of Russelton,

champion of everything! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Wow, Russell, you are truly a hero.

What you did was incredibly brave and very dangerous.

[whimper] Dangerous?

Aaaah!

[thud]

Attention, citizens of the realm.

Downtown City Renaissance Fair will be closing in ten minutes.

Oh, no! We have to get back to 'Ye Olde Pet Zone'.

Blythe will be waiting!

Just a few 'Royal Henrys' for the road.

Well, Blythe, it took me all day,

but I think I finally conquered my fear of jester hats.

Check it out.

That's awesome, Youngmee.

I'm really glad we came to the Ren Fair.

Not only because we had fun and I was inspired

by a lot of great costume designs.

But also because I got to see Josh in a whole new light.

And now I don't feel so nervous around him anymore.

Huzzah!

[laugh]

Hi, pets! Hope being stuck behind this fence all day

wasn't too boring.

Actually, it was quite an adventure.

Well, that's good.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any 'Royal Henrys'.

The whole fair was sold out.

[gasp] You don't say.

No worries, Blythe. Ugh. We're good.

[burp]

Was he like that when we left him?

♪♪

Thank you, Sir Hedge of Russellton!

♪♪

Sir Hedge of Russellton?