04x07 - The Tiniest Animal Store

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Littlest Pet Shop". Aired: November 10, 2012 – June 4, 2016.*
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Animated series that centers on Blythe Baxter, a teen girl who, after moving into an apartment in a city, gains the ability to communicate with animals.
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04x07 - The Tiniest Animal Store

Post by bunniefuu »

♪♪

Hi, there. d*ck Von Pat, big-time television producer.

You probably know my hit shows, 'Green Fakers',

'The Grating Bunch', 'Tuna Casserole',

or my personal favorite,

'Throw It At The Wall And See If It Sticks'.

I'm on a mission.

One of our network V.P.'s has a pet potbelly pig,

and I need something for the pig's birthday.

So, show me what you got. GO!

Well, you've definitely come to the right place.

My name's Blythe, and I'll be happy to help you.

Don't ever say that to me again!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-

Not you. Him. Uh-huh.

Well? What do you think? I'm talking to YOU!

Oh! Well, that's lovely, but it's a toy for cats, not pigs.

AND YOU EXPECT ME TO GO FOR THAT?

Not you. Listen; call me back when you have a REAL offer!

Blythe, we need you to settle something.

Vinnie thinks he's taller than me, but look!

He's holding his tail up for extra height.

Well, if you can count the spikes on your head,

I should be able to count my tail.

Not now, you two. I'm with a customer.

Although I'm not sure he's not with me.

We'll have to settle this later.

Settle what later? And who are you talking to?

Oh. Uh, I was just uh... on the phone!

Like you were.

Huh. What do you know? I don't have my earpiece in. [laugh]

For a second there I thought you were talking to those pets.

As if they could understand you.

[very unpleasant laugh]

[gasp]

I just had a brilliant idea for a television show!

You did?

Not you. Gina, write this down.

A sitcom in which a young girl who works in a pet shop

can talk to and understand the pets! Hilarity ensues.

We'll call it, 'Tiniest Animal Store'!

[gulp]

♪ You think about all the things ♪

♪ That you love to do

♪ It all comes true

♪ You find a place you never knew ♪

♪ Where you're happy to

♪ Just be you!

♪ We can be [yeah]

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me We can be [yeah] ♪

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me

d*ck: Yes! This is an inspired idea for a television show.

A young girl hangs out all day with pet shop pets,

solving their problems and getting into hijinks.

And she can't tell anyone about her ability

because they'd think she's just weird!

We won't even need writers!

The scripts'll write themselves!

OK, since I want to base the characters on you and the pets,

I'll need to know everything.

Everything?

What's this thing? A dumbwaiter? Classic sitcom trope. I love it!

[excited chatter]

It's called rope.

Blythe, darling, this could be my sh*t at the big time!

A chance for everyone to see my fabulousness. [giggle]

It would be my moment in the spotlight.

This is getting out of control.

I need to put a stop to it right now.

Mr. Von Pat, your television show idea is... interesting,

but I don't want anyone to think it's based on me.

I mean, can you imagine what people would say

if they thought I really talked to pets?

Why, you said it yourself. They would think I was weird!

Well, if that's what you're worried about, don't.

I'll simply change all the names.

Nobody will connect it with you.

Oh... well... that's better I guess.

I see what's going on here; you'd like a role on the show.

You want to be a TV star, right?

Uh, not really.

I've kinda got my own fashion design thing going on.

Even MORE perfect!

I could give you a sh*t at designing our costumes!

Designing costumes? For a real TV show? I would love that.

But uh, you promise my name won't be used, right?

Yes, Lucinda.

Um, my name's not Lucinda.

Not you! Lucinda Jackson, star of our show, The Grating Bunch.

She's late to the set.

Listen, Lucy, I would've called sooner, but...

[animal noises]

...I got a great idea to make a television show

about this little pet shop I'm in!

A television show about my pet shop?

Absolutely! So, anyway, how soon can you be

in front of the cameras, Lucinda?

My name's Anna. Anna Twombly.

Of course it is.

Is this going to be one of those reality shows?

You could say that.

Ooooh! When will they start sh**ting it?

Already started!

Already started? But I'm not dressed right.

I don't care! I want you in front of the cameras, RIGHT NOW!

OK, FINE!

I knew you'd come around.

I'll expect nothing less than an amazing performance.

That man is very pushy.

Oh, dear, I shouldn't have said that out loud.

There are probably cameras everywhere.

Yoo-hoo! Can you cut that part out? Hello?

[everyone chattering at once]

[cell phone chimes]

d*ck Von Pat here, talk to me!

Oh, hi Mr. Von Pat.

I just finished the designs for the costumes.

The pets are going to look adorable in them.

The pets? In costumes? Oh, no, no, no...

Didn't I tell you? We changed it up.

The pets are going to be played by human actors now.

Human actors?

Wearing pet costumes! That's where your designs come in.

You'll make the actors look like pets! It's outrageous!

This thing has 'Daytime TV Award' written all over it.

Heck, they should just give it to me, right now.

Oh, I almost forgot why I called.

I've got some great news!

We just signed Lola Falanagaga to star in the show! Ciao!

A human actor playing me? Nooooo!

A human actor playing me?

This was supposed to be my moment in the spotlight.

And now it's ruined.

Cheer up, Zoe. Maybe you'll be played by someone really good.

Of course! It all makes sense!

They want the most glamorous actress in the world to play me!

And the final nominee for best actress playing a pet is...

Lola Falanagaga, for her fabulous performance

as the even more fabulous Zoe Trent!

Friends! Romans! Countrypets! Perk up your ears!

I come to bury my pet toy, not to praise it.

[squeak]

And the award goes to... Lola Falanagaga as Zoe Trent!

[laughs]

[kisses]

Only a fabulous actress could play

such a fabulous character as moi.

[jingle]

Oh, dear, I have a customer.

Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop, where we cater to pets,

not sell them.

I am your host, Mrs. Twombly... Now then, customer with a dog,

I'll bet you'd like to see the dog department. [laugh]

We at Littlest Pet Shop like to charm our customers with humor.

[casual whistling]

Hi, there. d*ck Von Pat, big-time television producer,

and I've got some bad news for you. You're fired!

What?

Not you. For you, I've got great news!

The network has given me the green light for the pilot!

'Tiniest Animal Store', based on... [gasp]

the real life of a girl who works at a small pet shop?"

You can't say that!

I don't want anyone to think this show is based on me!

If you don't want that stuff on there, I'll take it right out.

And... It's gone. We good?

Yeah, we're good. Sorry I over-reacted.

You're creative. Over-reacting is in your job description.

Now, just so you know, I'm gonna bring Lola

and the rest of the cast over here later,

so they can 'mirror' their subjects.

You know, follow you and the pets around

and study you closely.

Well, it might be kinda crowded

with so many actors in this tiny day camp.

Oh, it won't be that many.

Because of budgetary reasons,

we'll only be able to have three pet characters in the show.

We're going with the monkey, the hedgehog, and the gecko.

But that's not fair. What about the other pets?

That's showbiz. OK, Jimmy. Talk to me.

Blythe, there must be some kind of mistake.

Lola was supposed to be playing me!

If my character isn't in the show, who is she playing?

Mr. Von Pat! Which pet is Lola Falanagaga going to play?

She's not playing a pet.

Lola's playing you. No, not you, Jimmy. Calm down.

[door jingles]

There's a customer, now!

Well, it's our producer, d*ck Von Pat.

Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop!

How much longer is the show going to continue?

It's a little tiring.

Um, I'm not sure.

How do I look so far? Am I coming off nicely?

Maybe I should do a little demo of my Kung Fu Quilting.

Hiiiii----WATAA!

Lola, Gary, Bob, Zelda... This is Blythe and the pets.

Now, since you will be playing them in our show,

I want you to get a good sense of what they're all really like.

Why do they need to get to 'know us'

if they're not really 'playing us'?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the actual you.

They're here to observe the things a 'non-specific girl'

and some 'generic pets' would do.

Now, pretend they're not even here.

I'll be back later!

How is this a comedy if I'm not in it?

Yeah, and everyone loves to see cute characters in sitcoms, too.

Hmm. So true, Penny Ling,

which is why it is shocking that they left me out, as well.

Obviously, they don't know what they're doing.

Now, now, no need for sour grapes.

After all, they did a pretty good job casting my role.

Handsome, rugged, leading man

with the exact 'tough guy' quality required

to capture the real me.

It moved! [girlish scream]

Vinnie, what are you doing?

I'm trying to come off as thoughtful and smart.

I think it's working.

Geckos... are... boring.

Boring? No, he's got the wrong idea!

Perhaps you should do some of your signature dance moves.

Great idea!

[shouts]

[crash]

[moans]

Geckos... are... clumsy.

Geckos... like to eat... mongooses.

[monkey squawks]

[bad imitation of monkey squawks]

[crash]

Oooh!

[squeaking]

[thud]

Help. Me.

[scream]

[crash]

Lola, you really didn't need to go inside there.

Nonsense, sweetie. It's my 'method'.

I must experience everything

the character I'm playing has experienced.

So, you are an artist.

Actually, a fashion designer.

Wow. These are really good.

You have genuine talent. Which is great, for me.

I adore playing talented people.

Now, I've got a million questions to ask you, Blythe.

Are you married? What's your favorite food?

What nightclubs do you hang out in?

I can't go to nightclubs. I'm just a kid!

A kid? I'm playing a girl?

Well, uh, yeah.

Of course I'm playing a girl! Because I still look so young!

I do still look young. Don't I? I mean, for my age.

Which you do not need to know. Do you have any concealer?

Psssst! My actor's afraid of his own shadow!

Mine thinks I eat mongeeses!

My actress is gonna permanently injure herself!

What are you three complaining about?

At least you get to be in it.

We can talk about this later. Right now I'm here with Lola!

Wow. It's like you really do talk to the pets. Very 'method'.

Oh, no. I just uh... well...

This is going to be amazing. I could win awards for this role.

'Blythe Baxter - Pet Whisperer'.

Oh, there you are, Lola.

Quick, we need you down at the studio in five minutes

for a costume fitting.

Costumes? Oh, that reminds me!

Here are my costume designs! I hope you like them.

Yeah, they're great.

Oh, the network execs read the final draft of the script.


Now, there's some things that 'bump' them,

and we have to hit it harder with the 'funny hammer',

but in general, they LOVE it!

Awesome. Wait. Now it says

'Based on Blythe Baxter who works at Littlest Pet Shop.'

And none of the names have been changed!

Oh, yeah, about that.

The network feels that people will tune in

if they know it's based on a real person and place, so--

Mr. Von Pat, you promised!

Don't worry, we have plenty of time before we move forward

if you still don't like it.

Hey, you should come down to the studio

to see our dress rehearsal, tomorrow. Bring the pets.

Dress rehearsal? Tomorrow?

But you said there was plenty of time

before we move forward.

There is! The rehearsal's tomorrow, not today.

And if all goes well, the next day...we sh**t the pilot!

What did he just say?

Here's the thing, Mr. Von Pat.

I don't think the actors really capture the spirit of me

or the pets. And you promised you'd change the names.

And not say that this is based on me.

Trust me. We're going to make you all look even BETTER

than you do in real life.

Well, I appreciate you giving me the chance

to design the costumes, and I can't wait to see them, but...

Oh, right, about that.

Uh, the network went with another costume designer.

Another designer?

Meh, that's showbiz.

[buzz]

Ooh, we're starting!

♪♪

♪ A lonely little princess,

♪ In a tropical locale,

♪ Inherited a pet shop,

♪ From her wacky Uncle Al.

♪ She went to the big city,

♪ With a suitcase in her clutch, ♪

♪ A fish that's out of water,

♪ But the city was too much.

♪ She met some kooky aliens,

♪ Who zapped her in a blur,

♪ Now Blythe can talk to animals, ♪

♪ And they can talk to her!

Hello?

Hello! Hey there! What's up?

♪ Here at the Tiniest Animal Store, ♪

♪ You get to do the things you love to do, ♪

♪ Here at the Tiniest Animal Store, ♪

♪ You might not believe us,

♪ But we swear that it's all true! ♪

Announcer: 'Tiniest Animal Store' is based

on a totally true and completely not-made-up girl,

Blythe Baxter, who works at Littlest Pet Shop.

[groan]

[applause]

Blythe, I'm out of mongeese to eat. Can you help me find some?

I'm doing a great job at being your security guard, Blythe.

I've scared away ALL the mongooses!

It's mongeese and those were going to be my dinner!

[snare drum rimshot]

[laughter]

Being able to talk and understand you pets

can sure be exhausting.

[rimshot and recorded laughter]

Oh, Minka. You're the most injury-prone monkey

in the world.

[laughter]

Those silly pets! Even though I can easily talk with them,

I wish I could leave this tiny animal store

and do what I REALLY want to do. Become a famous actress!

Imagine me on a stage somewhere,

living the dream of being a star.

But it's never going to happen.

I already blew the audition I went to today.

Don't worry, Blythe.

You can still go to that audition and nail it.

Gee, Russell, you're not very smart, are you?

I just said that the audition already happened

and I really messed up. It's too late.

Ah, but it's not too late, Blythe, because we built you...

A time machine!

[applause]

Cut!

[buzzer]

Well, I, for one, am thrilled!

Huh?

That I'm not being portrayed in this ridiculous show.

[sigh] I should have known this would happen,

but getting a chance to design the costumes

was too hard to pass up.

We can't let Von Pat get away with this!

We need to protect Blythe's secret... and our reputations!

Well, I know exactly what this show needs.

A rewrite! Now here's what we do... [whispering]

I heard we may go back in time to the dark ages,

so we'll need a flashlight.

Duhhh. Why isn't this flashlight working?

That's not a flashlight, it's...

It's an umbrella. I know that.

You... do?

Of course. I'm the... smartest and most organized of the pets.

That's not in the script. What are you doing?

I'm just reading off the teleprompter!

In fact, did you know that the theory of relativity,

'e equals mc squared' was originally a calculation mistake

by Albert Einstein?

Before we go back in time, can we stock up on mongeese to eat?

Time travel makes me hungr--- huh?

[beep beep]

Well, I guess...geckos and mongeese are...BFF's?

Well. I just got back from the hospital... again!

My monkey antics give me so many injur--

[squawks]

[laughter]

Oh, my silly, silly pets.

Now before we get into the time machine...

What?

Come back!

[laughter]

♪♪

Eeeeek!

♪♪

[crash]

♪♪

[scream]

♪♪

[clang]

[laughter]

[poof]

[screaming laughter]

CUT! CUT! What is going on here?

These pets are ruining my entire show!

I'm sorry, Mr. Von Pat. I don't know what got into them.

Well, this cannot stand! You need to leave.

And take all those pets with you, too.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know if you were talking to me

or someone on your phone.

Because, I never know if you're talking to me

or someone on your phone!

[crash]

Blythe, wait. Sorry the show didn't work out.

I'm not, but I am bummed that my designs went nowhere.

But they did go somewhere.

I took them to Edith Foote, our costume designer

and she loved them.

In fact, she's wondering if you'd be interested

in a part-time internship.

Interested? I'm DEFINITELY interested!

[happy squawks]

Mrs. Twombly: Agh! I can't DO this anymore!

The constant pressure of being on television,

it's too much to be interesting hours a day.

I'm just a woman, running a pet store.

Asking you to love me.

Mrs. Twombly, are you all right?

Please Blythe, you're standing in my key light.

[jingle]

Hi, again. I just remembered the original reason I came in here.

To buy a toy for the potbelly pig.

And to tell you that the show was cancelled.

Thank GOODNESS!

So, the network didn't like The Tiniest Animal Store after all?

No. They say the premise was too outrageous.

I mean, really!

Who's gonna believe that a girl can talk with pets? [laugh]

Ha! Not us.
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