03x09 - Rich Wigga, Poor Wigga

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Atlanta" Premiered September 2016 - current.*
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"Atlanta" follows two cousins navigating their way in the Atlanta rap scene in an effort to improve their lives and the lives of their families.
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03x09 - Rich Wigga, Poor Wigga

Post by bunniefuu »

(TRAVIS SCOTT'S "ESCAPE PLAN" PLAYING)

♪ -figure estate plan,
that was the escape plan ♪

♪ But hate investigating,
that sh*t was a waste, man... ♪

GAMER (OVER HEADSET):
(LAUGHS) This is an easy k*ll.

♪ But wait, it opened gates... ♪

Man, this n*gga's scared. I can feel it.

GAMER : You lost, bro.

You already lost.

(EXPLOSIONS ON TV)

GAMER : Come catch a
fade like a man, bro.

GAMER : It's two on one,
n*gga. I like the odds.

(FLAMES WHOOSH ON TV)

I got a full t*nk for that ass.

Yeah, I'm finna burn this
boy ass up right here.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, come get this smoke, fool.

(FLAMES WHOOSH ON TV)

(SCREAMING ON TV)

You still playing, bro?

GAMER (LAUGHS): This
n*gga's jerking off somewhere.

GAMER : You jerking, bro?

Jerking off to this
k*ll I'm about to get.

GAMER (LAUGHS): What
the f*ck did you just say?

GAMER : n*gga, you gay as hell.

GAMER : I know where you
at, bro. You can't hide.

You guys are dog sh*t.

(SCREAMING ON TV)

GAMER : n*gga, that was lame as hell.

GAMER : You only won 'cause
you camping. We play for real.

(MOCKINGLY): "You only
won 'cause you camping."

(NORMAL VOICE): I don't know,
this win looks pretty real to me.

GAMER : Oh, you good as sh*t, bro.

- You must not get no p*ssy.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

I'm too busy f*cking to
get good at this game.

I'm getting my d*ck sucked
right now by your mom over here.

You want to talk to her?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

She's too busy with
my d*ck in her mouth.

- (IMITATES GARGLING)
- GAMER : Hey, pass her to me, bro.

Hey, why don't you two n*gg*r*s
go find your dads, okay?

- GAMER : f*ck you say to me?
- You heard me, bitch.

GAMER : Yo, tell me
where you live, little man.

We got to talk face-to-face
about this sh*t.

Okay, I got you. I live
at f*ck You Avenue.

GAMER : What city is that?

What city is that, p*ssy?

GAMER (MOCKINGLY): "Uh,
f*ck You Avenue, uh..."

(IMITATES MONKEY HOOTING)

Eat a f*cking banana. Shut the f*ck up.

(SIGHS)

RADIO ANNOUNCER: A -year-old
Black male was k*lled last night

in a routine traffic stop in
the Lenox Mall parking lot.

Officers thought the
young man in the backseat

was reaching for a w*apon
that turned out to be a phone.

They fired five sh*ts into the car.

The boy later d*ed at Grady Hospital.

His father has vowed to sue the city.

- (RADIO TURNS OFF)
- JAMES: Damn, that's sad.

You see why I don't want you hanging out

with your friends in DeKalb?

Them cops are looking for a reason

to k*ll young Black men.

I don't think I'll have that problem,

but okay.

Yeah, you got your
friends at school fooled,

but I know where you
got that big-ass nose.

And it ain't your mama.

That kid probably did something
that warranted it, anyways.

Like what? Be Black in America?

Cops always say "freeze" first.

- Just listen, duh.
- (LAUGHING) Man...

You know, sometimes I kind
of wish you'd get pulled over,

just so you can see.

You know, that would
happen if you would, like,

let me borrow the car.

So you can crash it?

Then how am I supposed to get to work?

- Huh?
- Or you can get me a new one?

- Boy... (LAUGHING)
- As a graduation gift?

Boy, your white friends
really got you confused,

- don't they?
- (EXHALES)

Me and your auntie,

we're taking you to the Golden Corral

when you graduate, and that is it.

(SCOFFS)

You take a look at that FAFSA
information like I asked?

Aaron, I done told you a hundred times,

I ain't looking at no loans.

I ain't filling out no F-A-S-A.

I'm ain't cosigning anything.

If you want to get into that school,

you'll figure it out.

Didn't I tell you to save?

How much you save?

Like... $ , .

See? That ain't bad.

A year at ASC is $ , , Dad.

(WHOOPS, LAUGHS) Damn!

(LAUGHING): That's too bad, son.

Looks like you ain't gonna
be getting into that school.

(LAUGHING)

I do know one thing, though.

If you're still in my
house when you graduate,

you're paying rent.

Yeah, I know.

And if you miss that bus
again, you're walking.

- Four miles?
- Or catching MARTA,

which we both know
you're too scared to do.

Bye, Dad.

- JAMES: Aaron!
- What?

I love you.

Oh, my God, I know.

(MUTTERS): Jesus.

(SQUEALS, LAUGHS)

Oh, can you believe it?

Congratulations, babe.

- I'm so excited.
- (CHUCKLES)

This is how it all starts... Our lives.

I know. It's amazing.

So, did you get a scholarship?

- Takes care of half of it.
- What?

We have to figure out what
dorm we're gonna be in.

Yeah, maybe we could
be on the same floor.

What's wrong?

Have you not figured out tuition?

Did your dad fill out the FAFSA?

Yes, I promise,

I'm-a get him to fill it out.

- I'm going to ASC.
- ASC!

Go Moles!

No f*cking way!

- Oh, you got in?!
- CHAD: Go Moles.

- Of course, yeah.
- KATE: Oh, my God!

CHAD: You better be at
every one of my games.

You better be at every one of my games.

Uh, yeah. I'm gonna be too
hungover for that, so...

- Okay. Oh, my God!
- (P. A. BEEPS)

WOMAN (OVER P. A.):
All graduating seniors

please report to the auditorium.

That's weird.

Do you think it's a
drunk driving accident?

- Is anyone missing?
- I don't know.

Listen, who cares?

If we have a free day, we
can just go to my house.

- (AARON SCOFFS)
- Yeah. Let's go.

(LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Settle down. (SHUSHES)

Settle down.

We have a very special
guest speaker here today.

I had the pleasure of meeting this man

at a special engagement this weekend.

I told him I was the principal

at Stonewall Jackson High School,

and he shared that he was an alumnus

of this very same school.

He is a businessman,

philanthropist, philosopher, Christian.

He has some words of wisdom for
this year's graduating class,

and he wanted to speak with you.

Give a big Bobcat welcome

to Mr. Robert "Shea" Lee.

(STUDENT COUGHS)

(LOOSE ENDS' "HANGING
ON A STRING" PLAYING)

GREG: Knock 'em dead.

It's all on you. All
eyes on you, Robert.

(MUSIC FADES)

Good morning, graduating class.

My name is Robert "Shea" Lee.

Many of you may not
know me, but guess what?

I know you.

I'm the heir to the Pink
Oil hair moisturizer fortune,

and my grandfather Stymie
Banks built this empire

- from the ground up.
- GREG: Mm-hmm.

Some of y'all out there
would have hair as dry

as a Texas wildfire if
it wasn't for my family.

GREG: There you go.

ROBERT: But despite all I've given you,

I still feel like there is more to give.

GREG: Always. Always.

The question's always been,
"But where do we start?"

When I met your principal,

I was not expecting to hear the words

"Stonewall Jackson High School."

Those words,

they brought me back...

back to a time that wasn't
always good for me here.

And it was at that moment I realized,

- we start at the beginning.
- GREG: Mm-hmm.

That's right.

- This was my beginning.
- GREG: Okay, now.

ROBERT: Look, folks,
I'm-a make this quick.

I'm gonna donate a million
dollars to your school.

And I'm changing the name from
that degenerate sl*ve owner,

to one of the richest Black men
this side of the Mississippi.

From now on, this
school is gonna be named

the Robert S. Lee High School.

But wait, there's more.
We're getting even crazier.

I am going to pay every single
senior's college tuition...

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)

GREG: Hallelujah!

ASC, baby!

Yeah!

- Who's Black.
- (APPLAUSE STOPS)

(CHEERING, WHOOPING, SCREAMING)

Black students, report to the gym

by : today and God bless you.

(LOOSE ENDS' "HANGING
ON A STRING" PLAYING)

KATE: Unbelievable.

CHAD: This is bullshit.

Like, can he really do that?

LIONEL: No, I feel like we
can sue him for discrimination.

I mean, this is what they did
to Black people in the ' s,

- right?
- Exactly.

This is f*cked up.

This is f*cked up, right, Aaron?

- Hmm?
- CHAD: It's f*cked up?

Oh, yeah, it's really
f*cked up. (CLEARS THROAT)

I just don't understand why
you would even need to do that.

I mean, they already
go to school for free.

CHAD: Exactly. There's so many,
like, programs and foundations

and sh*t to help them.
Like-like, what do we get?

Well, you're not supposed
to say it out loud,

but it's super easy to go to
school if you're Black, so...

I don't think it's super easy.

I'm sure it's not easy
if you're Black and poor.

I don't know, babe.

My friend was dating a Black guy,

and he got accepted to all his colleges

- on a free ride.
- What was his name?

I don't remember, but regardless,

he's probably gonna stay
in school for one year

- and then go straight to the NBA.
- LIONEL: Yeah,

and he's gonna make a
ton of money doing that.

Probably didn't even
need that scholarship.

KATE: Oh, yeah. I remember now.

- (MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)
- Zion Wilson.

- Williams... son.
- CHAD: William...

- Williams... Whatever.
- KATE: William-Williamson.

STUDENT: Thank you, Jesus!

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God, dude.

- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
- So over it, dude.

(CHUCKLES) You know,
it's just like, "Relax."

Yeah. Like, why do you need to shout?

- Like, what's...?
- CHAD: Way too much, dude.

Um, I got to go talk to the
counselor about the FAFSA loan.

Catch y'all later?

- CHAD: Yeah, all right.
- LIONELL: See you.

♪ Richer than I ever been... ♪

♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ The very first time ♪

♪ That I saw your brown eyes ♪

- ♪ Your lips said, "Hello" ♪
- ♪ Hello ♪

♪ And I said, "Hi" ♪

♪ I knew right then
you were the one ♪

♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ But I was caught up, ah ♪

♪ In physical attraction ♪

♪ But to my satisfaction ♪

- ♪ Baby, you were more than just a face ♪
- (SIGHS) Okay.

♪ And if I ever ♪

- ♪ Ever fall ♪
- Hey.

- ♪ In love... ♪
- There's auditions for this?

He picking who's actually Black.

Crazy, right?

Everyone's giving it a sh*t.

Shouldn't it be based
on, like, your parents?

I did my research on this guy.

He doesn't believe that ADOS
necessitates "Blackness."

He's really talking about the
culture of Black in America.

- (SIGHS)
- It's a nuanced discussion.

Mm-hmm.

Yo, could you...

could you wave check me? Just...

- (DOOR OPENS)
- (STUDENT LAUGHING)

All right, I'm-a f*ck with y'all, then.

(LAUGHS)

Wow.

GREG: Hey! Redbone!

- Yeah, you!
- Oh.

GREG: You up next! Come on.

(EXHALES)

♪ I just want to be
the one to serve you ♪

- ♪ At times, I feel... ♪
- Good luck.

(SINGING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE)

AARON: Hello?

- GREG: Mm-hmm.
- ROBERT: Come into the light.

(GREG CHUCKLES)

Ooh, look at this high yellow n*gga. Ha!

What's your name, boy?

Uh... Aaron.

- You said Aaron? (LAUGHS)
- It's kind of Black.

- It's in the Bible.
- Kind of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- JAY: Hank Aaron.
- ROBERT: Yeah.

GREG: Shut up, fool. That don't count.

- (CHUCKLING)
- JAY: It don't.

ROBERT: All right. Let's get started.

We're gonna ask you a few questions.

(GREG SCOFFS)

Name me six things
that mix with Hennessy.

JAY: Ooh, sh*t.

Um...

Coke?

- All right.
- Good.

(EXHALES) Rum?

- He said...
- What he say?

- Huh?
- He said, "Rum."

- Rum.
- (MURMURING)

- sh*t, oh, sh*t.
- He might have something.

- That might be good!
- (CHUCKLES)

I'd try that.

- Mango.
- (OVERLAPPING MUTTERING)

- Coconut.
- GREG: He say "Mango"?

- JAY: Mango?
- And... ice?

All right, all right. All right.

Now he just making up
sh*t, but he's creative.

That's all right. The rum,
the rum was good enough.

- It was creative. All right.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Uh...

what happened to that
boy at Lenox Mall...

Oh! I-I heard about that
on the radio this morning.

Uh, a police officer k*lled
him in a routine traffic stop,

and his dad was in the car.

Yeah, crazy.

I didn't say, "What happened
to that boy at Lenox Mall?"

I said, "What happened to
that boy at Lenox Mall..."

And the answer was:

- "Mm-mm-mm..."
- Damn shame.

Mm-mm, mmm, mm-mm.

All right. Enough of the warm-up.

- Let's get down to the nitty-gritty.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, how long can
chicken sit on the stove?

(EXHALES) Um...

Bobby and Whitney, or Will and Jada?

Whitney. No, no, no, no, Jada.

Where's the first place
you take your cousin

after he get out of jail?

Why did The Five Heartbeats break up?

"Your mama" or "your mother"?

Uh... SoBe Lizard Milk?

NBA Youngboy.

Silk pillow covers?

What color are Wendy's napkins?

DJ Doo-Doo Brown.

and Amen?

Holy Spirit or the Holy Ghost?

Mustard or mayonnaise?

Crisco.

If her foot is in it, it's good?

Take this pencil, go
make a b*at on that table.

The price is on the can.

- Orange or grape Kool-Aid?
- (PANTING)

- Spell "Dante."
- DQ or Popeyes?

What soda is good for you?

If Ne-Yo's hat gets any lower,
it's gonna be on his blank?

Meghan Trainor. Essence Fest.

- L-A-Q-U-E-S...
- (LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHING)

He stupid. He stupid.

- ROBERT: All right. This was fun.
- GREG: It was fun.

You can say that again. (LAUGHS)

ROBERT: Got to be honest,
we had a good time.

GREG: Yeah.

But the tribunal has concluded that

- we are not giving you the scholarship.
- Mm-mm.

Wait. Why?

You ain't Black, boy.

But my dad's Black.

Well, then have him come
here, and then I'll give him

- the scholarship.
- Mm-hmm.


Yeah, that n*gga ain't go to college.

(LAUGHING)

This isn't fair!

You're not giving me the scholarship

because I'm light skin?!

You are white!

- Greg.
- You are... You shut the f*ck up!

- You are white! You white!
- Hold on, Greg.

He just told you, Blacks only.

He couldn't answer any of
the questions, could he?

- He's white!
- Hmm.

Off-white.

GREG: I knew he was white

when he first walked up in here.

And he ain't got no Black friends.

JAY: How you know that?

I'll tell you why come I know.

'Cause if he did have
some Black friends,

they would have told his white ass

not to come walking up in here

with them Matcha-colored
Allbirds. Mm-hmm.

How long you been coasting
on your whiteness, son?

See, I used to know a guy
like you back in the day.

Mm-hmm.

His name was Clarence Thomas.

Oh, sh*t.

- He got his.
- Clarence Thomas?

You just got yours.

Case dismissed.

GREG: Now, take your ass on out of here.

(CHUCKLING)

You didn't have to call
the boy Clarence Thomas.

sh*t, he ain't that white.

This guy's a psycho!

I'm not Black because
I have white friends?

- We should sue him.
- (CHUCKLING)

I'm serious. Is this funny to you?

- A little bit, yeah.
- Dad,

I won't get to go to college
because this guy's r*cist,

or colorist or whatever. f*ck this dude!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, kemosabe.

Relax, some... I mean,
that's part of being Black.

Sometimes you don't get the
things you know you deserve.

So, just charge it to the game.

Hey, listen, uh, I'm gonna
be at the workshop tonight,

so I'll be home a little late.

So, if you could take out...

Hey? You good?

Who is D'Andre and why
are you talking to him?

KATE (ON PHONE): I wasn't.

He commented on my page.

But you responded. I
literally saw you respond.

Would you chill? I met
him on a school tour.

- It's not a big deal.
- Don't tell me to chill.

If this was some chick
I met on tour at ASC,

you'd be livid and you f*cking know it.

No, I wouldn't, 'cause I
know you're not going to ASC.

What?

Look, Aaron...

I know you're not going.

You kept pushing it off, and...

I know you haven't
applied for loans, and...

I know you don't have the money.

You're just...

not going, and...

we should just...

end this now.

What are you saying?

I think we should break up.

I'm sorry, Aaron.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(EXPLOSIONS ON TV)

GAMER : Dog sh*t.

GAMER : Man, this n*gga's
scared. I can feel it.

GAMER : This n*gga's trash.

Get him out of here.

ROBERT: I am going to pay

every single senior's college tuition...

GAMER : You ready to die, white boy?

(ECHOING): who's Black.

You are white!

(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)

GREG: He just told you, Blacks only.

You are white! You white!

I mean, that's part of being Black.

Sometimes you don't get the
things you know you deserve.

GREG (ECHOING): You
are white! You white!

(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)

(ECHOING, DISTORTED): You are white!

Who are you?

Felix. Who are you?

What are you doing?

I'm about to burn
this m*therf*cker down.

What are you doing?

He said you weren't Black, too.

My parents are from Nigeria.

I was born there, but I
don't even remember it.

I'm from Lithonia.

Hmm.

Hmm.

- I get it.
- Get what?

I understand what he means.

You're not really Black.

You have an entire culture to pull from.

You know where you're from,
you can trace your lineage,

and you have a country to go home to.

That's not really Black.

Well, I'm Blacker than you.

You look like f*cking Frankie Muniz.

You think if I walk down the
street in your neighborhood,

they're not gonna stop
me because I'm African?

I had to take the bus
here and assemble this sh*t

by the dumpster.

Bet you just walked on over
here, in front of everyone.

Keep your Black card tucked, bruh.

Listen, I really don't care anymore.

I'm burning the school down. Excuse me.

With what? Your little
bargain bin flamethrower?

n*gga, I'm burning this school down.

You know what?

What if I burn you first?

Oh, wait. Too late.

Was that a dark skin joke?

(GASPS)

(PANTING)

(PANTING)

(RAPID FOOTFALLS APPROACHING)

Got you, bitch.

(PANTING)

(PANTING)

(LIQUID TRICKLING)

Oh, f*ck! (GRUNTS)

- (LAUGHING MANICALLY)
- f*ck! Ah! Ow, ow!

(GROANS)

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES IN DISTANCE)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

- (WHISTLES)
- (GASPS)

(PANTING)

This is where the Black kids eat.

(g*nsh*t)

- OFFICER: Freeze!
- (GASPS)

(PANTING)

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la... ♪

(TIRES SCREECH)

♪ La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la... ♪

Oh, my God.

My school.

Hey, did you try to burn my school down?

You really wanted that
scholarship, didn't you, boy?

Well, before they wheel you away,

just know one thing.

Getting sh*t by the police

is the Blackest thing anybody can do.

- (CRYING)
- Make sure he survives, okay?

Take him to "White Grady."

You mean Emory?

White Grady.

Hey.

Don't worry about your medical bills.

We're gonna take care of those.

Here's your scholarship check, okay?

- (CRYING): Thank you, sir.
- Just get better.

Thank you, sir.

All right.

(AMBULANCE DOORS CLOSE)

(SIREN CHIRPS)

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

(SIREN WAILING)

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la. ♪

AARON: You know, sh*t was crazy.

You know, just try to keep
your head down, lay low.

- Mm-hmm.
- You'll be good, you know?

But, yeah, my PO cool and all,
still a pain in my ass, though.

n*gga act like he own me
or some sh*t. (CHUCKLES)

But yeah, you know, this is
my favorite type right here.

They don't pay me
enough to tell you that.

- (CHUCKLES)
- But, I f*ck with it, you feel me?

- So...
- Aaron?

Hold on one sec.

- Take this up front.
- Okay.

Tell Derrick to f*ck with
you with my discount code,

- a'ight?
- (CHUCKLES) Okay.

You gonna text me? A'ight.

I'll see you later.

That ass stupid.

What's up?

Nothing, um...

how are you?

I'm good. Good.

How's ASC?

It's great.

How's, um...

how's here?

It's a'ight. You know.

Same old sh*t, different
day, you know how it goes.

Cool. Um... yeah.

All right.

It's good to see you.

Hey.

Can I be honest with you?

I've never been more
attracted to you in my life.

(CHUCKLES)

Aaron...

(LOOSE ENDS' "HANGING
ON A STRING" PLAYING)

♪ I've waited, oh, so long ♪

♪ For you to come to me ♪

♪ What did I do wrong? ♪

♪ It's all a mystery to me ♪

♪ Baby, I feel it, too ♪

♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪

♪ Maybe I've just changed ♪

♪ Or can I be wrong for you? ♪

(VOCALIZES)
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