06x19 - The Landlady

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". Aired: October 2, 1955 – June 26, 1965.*
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American anthology series featuring dramas, thrillers and mysteries.
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06x19 - The Landlady

Post by bunniefuu »

Good evening.

This should be a
relatively simple task.

Nothing to it really.

I'm not really hungry,
but I resent the implication

that I haven't the self-control
to stay on my diet.

Tonight we have fried
chicken, cold apple pie.

Potato salad, a story
entitled The Landlady,

and one fast frozen commercial.

It's a crime, Tom.
Just a crime.

Of course it is, Bert.
Burglary is always a crime.

That's not what I mean, man.
And you know it.

It's Sergeant Billings
I'm talking about.

- Why doesn't he take steps?
- Oh, he does his best.

I still think somebody ought
to call in Scotland Yard.

- They'd round up the g*ng.
- g*ng, here in Bramley?

Who said anything
about a g*ng?

Just the work of
one man, like is not.

Huh, work he calls it.

The way I see it, we'd all best
keep our eyes and ears open.

And if we notice
anything out of the way...

Excuse me lads.

What can I get you sir?

I'm just off the train.

I was wondering if I
could get a bite to eat.

Well now we've only
got some cold beef.

I could make
you a sandwich.

That'll do nicely. And a
pint of mild and bitter.

Right, sir.

Freshy? Freshy.

Yes Mr. Wilkins.

Beef sandwich for
the gentleman.

Yes sir.

Oh, last drinks please.

- Same again.
- Oh I'll have a mild and bitter.

- There you go.
- Cheers.

There you are.

What's up?

It's jammed.
I can't get it open.

I won't be able to get a
locksmith until Monday.

Perhaps I can help.

This might do the trick.

Shall I have a try?

All right.

It's a Holloway register.
One of the older models.

I think this ought to work.

There we are.

Much obliged.

Not at all.

What, did you see that?

Opened it.
One two three.

Easy as you please.

- Oh, do come in.
- I saw the sign on your wall.

Yes I know, I saw you looking in.

I was wondering about a room.

I have one, all ready for you.

Oh but please come
in, it must be chilly

standing outside
on a night like this.

Yes, thank you.

If I might ask how
much you charge.

Five and six a night
including breakfast.

Five and six?

Well now, if that's a
little bit too much,

- ...I could perhaps reduce it...
- No, no, no.

It's quite all right,
that's very reasonable.

- Then you'll stay?
- I should like very much to stay, yes.

I knew you would.

The moment I laid eyes on you,
I had a... a feeling, you know?

Well then, off with your coat.

Oh just, just hang it anywhere.

- Will this be all right here?
- Of course.

Well. Now come along upstairs
and I'll show you your room.

You see, we have
it all to ourselves.

It isn't very often that
I have the pleasure

of taking a visitor
into my little nest.

But your rates are so
reasonable I should

think you'd be swamped
with applicants.

Oh I am. Of course I am.

The trouble is, I'm just
a teensy bit choosy

and particular if you
know what I mean.

Ah yes, of course.

I understand there are all sorts
of strangers prowling about.

Even burglars.

Oh my dear boy, who'd want
to harm an old body like me.

No, no. No, no, no, my dear,
it isn't that at all.

You see I have a
feeling about people.

And I'm always ready to
welcome an acceptable type.

And it's such a pleasure my dear
boy, such a very great pleasure

when I see someone
who is exactly right,

like you.

Well here I am nattering away
when it's the room you want.

Come along.

- Yes, this is very nice.
- Oh I'm so glad you liked it.

The morning sun comes right
in this window, Mr. Perkins.

- It is Mr. Perkins isn't it?
- No, it's Weaver.

Weaver, yes.

Well, just make yourself comfy.

Oh, if you care for anything before
you go to bed, perhaps a cup of tea?

Thank you very much, not tonight.

Of course.

We shall have all day
tomorrow for that, shan't we?

I'm so glad you came.

I was beginning to get worried.

Dear Mr. Greenslade.

You were right in warning me

that the Bramley folk might
be suspicious of strangers.

They've had a burglary scare.

I found a very nice place to stay
and the rates are quite reasonable.

My landlady seems a bit on the odd
side but she's very hospitable.

I shall report to the branch manager
bank on Monday morning.

And take over my clerical position.

Many thanks for your
recommendation.

Come in.

I do hope I'm not
disturbing you.

No, not at all. I was
just finishing a letter.

Oh splendid.

Let me post it for you.

Oh no that's all right.
I can do it in the morning.

There's no need
for you to run out.

I shall be popping around your
morning service quite early.

I brought the register
for you to sign.

Oh yes, I forgot to sign it.

- Have you a pen, dear?
- Yes.

- Where should I sign?
- Just there.

Law of the land you know
and we don't want to go

breaking any laws at this stage
of the proceedings, do we?

- That's odd.
- Odd?

The other two names on this page.

Christopher Mulholland.

- Gregory Temple.
- Mmm, such charming boys.

Those names sound
awfully familiar.

I'm sure I've heard
them somewhere before.

Wow, interesting.

Isn't it q*eer the way names
sometimes ring a bell.

Christopher Mulholland
and Gregory Temple.

They weren't celebrated
in any way, were they?

Celebrated?

Oh no dear, I don't think so.

They were very handsome
both of them.

Like you.

I say, this last entry before mine,
it's almost two years old.

Oh, dear me. How time does
fly away from us doesn't it?

Christopher Mulholland,
Gregory Temple.

I'm... I'm positive I've read those
names in a newspaper or somewhere.

Not at the same time but
connected somehow.

Connected with
something unpleasant.

Unpleasant? Oh no dear.

One thing you can be certain of,

my young men were never connected
with anything unpleasant.

Pleasant dreams.

- Everything all right?
- Splendid thank you.

Oh good.

Pity about rain.

You won't want to go out today,
not in weather like this.

I thought of going to the cinema.

Oh, best wait till the rain stops.

It wouldn't do for
you to catch a cold.

Oh dear, no, that would
never do at all.

But you've been
out haven't you?

- Oh, I'm used to it.
- Did you remember to post my letter?

Oh, I'm a great one for remembering,
if I do say it myself.

- More toast?
- No, thank you.

- Do I wish my memory were better.
- Can I get you some jam?

No please, don't bother,
this is fine.

Christopher Mulholland
and Gregory Temple.

- When did they leave here?
- Leave?

But they never left.

They're up on the third floor.

Both of them together.

But I seem to remember...

Didn't you tell me last
night that we were alone?

So we were dear.

They were out for the evening?

Well, you know what
young men are.

One's guests we can keep track.

Then they're here now?

Well let's find out.
Shall we?

Here we are dear, in the hall.


You see? They...
they did come back.

- I wasn't meaning to be inquisitive.
- Oh, of course not, dear.

Well, now I must fly, it's time
for our little get-together.

Oh, really?

Every Sunday afternoon
just the three of us.

I always play the old hymns.

Mr. Temple's favorite is
"All Things Bright and Beautiful".

What's your favorite hymn, dear?

Hmm, I really don't
have any preference.

Oh, pity.

I think everyone should.

If you'll excuse me.

Christopher Muller.

Gregory Temple.

Michael Rogan.

- What's that?
- Michael Rogan.

That was the young man's name.

- What man?
- The burglar.

The one who's been breaking
into all those houses.

They captured him last night.

I was tuning in on the
wireless in the kitchen

and the news came over.

I thought that that called
for a little celebration.

Milk and sugar, dear?

Isn't it a little early for tea?

It's never too early
for a nice cup of tea.

You did say milk and
sugar didn't you dear?

Oh is that silly
register in your way?

Oh no no.

It's...

I was just glancing at the,

I was glancing at
those two names again.

- Mm hmm.
- Yes.

- I thought perhaps...
- Perhaps what dear?

No no nothing, I was mistaken.

- Oh wait a minute.
- Yes?

Christopher Mulholland.

Isn't that the name
of the undergraduate

who went on a walking
tour in the west country?

- And disappeared.
- Undergraduate?

Oh no dear, I don't think
that can possibly be right.

Mr. Mulholland was certainly not an
undergraduate when he came to me.

What? Come along,
dear, drink up.

- Aren't you having any?
- Oh yes, yes indeed.

You know, Mr. Mulholland was always
a great one for his cup of tea.

Shouldn't you invite him down?

I tell you what.

As soon as you finish
that we'll go up.

I think it's time
you met them both.

Could you, could you give
me another lump of sugar?

Oh, of course dear, and
I'll warm up your cup.

I was telling the boys all
about you this afternoon,

and they are so looking
forward to meeting you.

- So just finish that, we'll go up.
- Yes.

Perhaps they can tell me why
their name sounds so familiar.

Perhaps.

- How old are you dear?
- .

. Oh, that's a perfect age.

Mr. Mulholland was also
when he came here.

But I think that he was a
drivel shorter than you.

Now Mr. Temple, he was
actually a little older.

He was ,

but I never would have guessed it if
he hadn't told me, never in my life.

He hadn't a blemish
on him anywhere.

What?

He had a skin just like a baby's.

Do you know that parrot
had me completely fooled.

And I looked at it through
the window from the street.

- I thought it was alive.
- Alas, no longer.

It's terribly clever
the way it's done.

Who did it?

I did.

Have you met my
little Basel as well?

Well, I thought it was asleep.

Appearances can be
deceptive, can't they dear.

Yes it's so lifelike.

- It's awfully difficult to do.
- Oh, not in the least.

I stuff all my little pets
when they pass away.

Another cup of tea dear?

I had quite enough.

Yes.

You did sign the book,
didn't you dear?

The book?

- Oh yes.
- Oh good.

Because later on, if I forget what you
were called, I can always look it up.

I do that almost every day
with Mr. Mulholland and Mr...

- Mr...
- Temple.

Gregory Temple.

Are you sure there
haven't been any other...

guests here, only two.

No dear, only you.

Stand up.

Ready my pet?
Time to join the others.

So much for our tale of
the talkative taxidermist.

Now for a short soliloquy
from a super salesman.

After which a fast farewell
from a hungry host.

I don't understand it, but I seem
to have quite lost my appetite.

That looks real doesn't it?

It's not, it's stuffed.

As for our dear landlady,
she was eventually caught.

Over confidence and a
flare for exhibitionism

led her to make Billy into a
throw rug for her entry hall.

It was excellent for discouraging
peddlers and agents.

But it was no way to keep a secret.

Next week we shall return
with still another story.

Until then, good night.
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