09x19 - The Miracle

All episode transcripts for the TV show "Roseanne". Aired: October 18, 1988 - May 20, 1997.*
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Explore life, death and everything in between through the relatable, hilarious and brutally honest lens of the working-class Conner household.
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09x19 - The Miracle

Post by bunniefuu »

How long has it been?

Hours.

And no contractions
at all, right?

Not even any little ones

That you didn't tell us about?

No, but I feel like my heart is
going to pound out of my chest

And fly around the room.

Well, if it does,
your dad'll catch it.

Or at least bat it back down.

Where the hell is david? I
mean, what's taking him so long?

Oh, darlene, it's really,
really bad traffic out there.

I know he's doing
everything he can to get here

As soon as he can.

I'm sure he'll be
here any minute.

You said that an hour ago.

Honey, come on,
just try and relax.

Oh, sure. I'm lying here

With god knows what
coursing through my veins.

I don't know whether my
baby's gonna live or die.

No one has a clue
where my husband is,

And you're telling me to relax?

Yeah. I want you to stop
talking like that, ok, darlene,

Because I know that
negative talk like that

Is attracting negative energy.

I am so sorry.

I got here as fast as I could.

How do you feel?

I'm fine, david.

How about the baby?

We don't know yet.

All right, um...

Where do we stand?

Well, we tried several dr*gs
to stop the contractions,

And now we're on
the big one... Ritodrine.

And, uh, it has
some side-effects,

Like, you know, rapid heartbeat.

Got it.

Yeah, but so far it is working.

So then the contractions
have stopped?

Well, yeah, I mean,
as of right now.

Ok. Wh-what do we do now?

Just cross our fingers
and hope for the best.

Uh...

Ok. All right. Uh...

You guys must be
tired, and I'm here now.

Why don't you just
go home and lay down?

I'll call you if
anything happens.

Wow. When did you get this
new take-charge attitude?

I don't know. It just
kind of came over me.

We'll go on down
to the cafeteria.

Oh, boy...

My water just broke.

♪ If what doesn't k*ll us
is making us stronger ♪

♪ We're gonna last longer ♪

♪ Than the greatest
wall in china ♪

♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪

♪ If there's one thing
that I've learned ♪

♪ While waiting for my turn ♪

♪ It's that in each
life some rain falls ♪

♪ But you also get some sun ♪

♪ And we'll make
out better than ok ♪

♪ Hear what I say ♪

♪ Yeah, any day ♪

Honey, you gotta stay calm.

And know that we're here for
you and everything's gonna be ok.

I'm scared.

It's ok to be a little scared.

You should have seen your
mom when she had becky.

Hmm.

I might have been scared,

But your dad passed
out in the waiting room.

Don't leave me.

No, I won't.

I wish I could go
through this for you.

Yeah, me, too.

Well, we're ready to go.

Oh, you want to
start without me?

You'll be in the
delivery room very soon,

And we're going to take
real good care of you.

You hear that, honey?
Everything's under control.

Ok, well, we're gonna go
into the waiting room now.

I got d.j. Saving all
the chairs for us,

And that one-legged guy's probably
getting a little cranky by now.

Uh, dr. Rudman, darlene's
only weeks along.

Everything's going
to be fine, right?

Well, I'm going to
be honest with you.

There's always
an element of risk.

Why is this happening now?

Darlene, no one knows what
exactly triggers normal labor,

Let alone premature labor,

But babies this
age have survived.

You are young and healthy,

And you've had very
good prenatal care.

And that's really
good, isn't it?

I mean, it means a lot, right?

Well, you bet it does.

So you stay optimistic, ok?

Yeah.

The world population
is, like, billion,

And they all had to be born.

How can this be so hard?

Ok, listen to me.

You are very, very strong.

More important than
that, you're very stubborn,

And I think god likes that,

So everything's
gonna be just fine, ok?

I hope you're right.

Here we go.

A few more minutes
before we're parents.

Is there anything left that we
wanted to do before we had kids?

Uh, we were gonna go to paris.

It might be a little late
to book a flight, darlene.

Well, I'll settle for
a cheese omelet then.

I love you.

I love you so much.

Mark, you're wearing
a track in the floor.

Sorry.

I really have a bad
feeling about this.

Don't think that way, becky.

As louise haye says,

You must learn to turn
the negative into a positive.

Yeah, you should listen
to your grandma, becky.

Apparently being gay, uh...

Means more than
just wanting to wear

Flannel shirts and birkenstocks.

It also makes you smarter.

Thank you, roseanne.

I have been trying to positively
explore different avenues.

Hey, check out that
nurse with the crewcut.

♪ Made you look ♪

We just called leon
to check on the kids.

How's darlene doing?

She's been in there
for over an hour.

Jeez...

You look terrible.

Well, thank you for
the compliment, jackie.

Would you like to check
my breath while you're at it?

Honey, want to take
another walk down the hall?

Mr. And mrs. Conner?

Your daughter has just
given birth to a baby girl.

Uh, is... Is everything ok?

Uh, well, darlene is fine.
David's with her right now.

And the baby?

Well, being so premature,

Her lungs are not sufficiently
developed for her to breathe on her own.

At this point, she
can't even cry.

We have her down in n.i.c.u.

She's in an incubator
on a respirator and i.v.

The next to hours
are going to be very critical.

What exactly does that mean?

I means they don't
know anything, becky.

Well, yeah, so what now?

I mean, isn't there
anything that you can do?

Well, actually

The best thing we can
do right now is to wait.

So that's what you're...

That's all you can tell
us is that we should wait?

Look, mrs. Conner, I know
this is hard. I know that.

But please, it really is the
best we can do right now.

Well, no, I can't accept that.

I want to get a second opinion.

All right. I'd be happy
to give you the names

Of some neonatologists.

There's a couple of
good doctors in chicago.

No, I'm not interested
in "good," ok?

I want the best.

If we have to go to
new york or australia

Or japan or timbuktu,
I really don't care.

I have all the
money in the world,

And, uh, I want the very best
doctor on this whole damn planet.

Well, they're trying to get
ahold of that doctor in australia.

Go in there and find out what's going
on with that dr. Igarashi there in tokyo.

Well, we're running out
of specialists, roseanne.

There's on the list.
We've already called .

I know. Maybe it's time we started
thinking of some alternatives.

What?

Acupuncture?

Well, yeah!

Or a herbalist or
some kind of healer.

I mean, western medicine
can't have all the answers,

And other cultures, they take
a whole different approach,

Like in india, you know, when people
are sick, you know what they do?

They take them down, and they
give them a bath in the holy river.

You're making it up.

That doesn't work.

Oh, yes, it does, jackie,
and you know why?

Because they believe
it's gonna work.

I read that in all those
books that nancy gave me,

And you know what? They
all say the very same thing.

You know what they say?

That the spiritual is the
cause for the physical.

Ok, they talked to that
dr. Phillips in london.

He's afraid he can't
get here in time,

But he says there's this
great south african doctor

Who's giving a
lecture in boston.

That's a couple hours away.

We could get him.

No, I want them both.

You tell that london guy to
take the concorde into new york,

Then we'll charter a
plane and get him down here.

And go get that south african
doctor on the phone, too.

Got it.

For once, we can
afford the best,

And we're gonna get it.

Hey.

I brought you some
more applesauce.

I'm not hungry right
now. Thanks anyway.

How you doing?

Better.

I mean, I'm still pretty
wrung out, though.

Any new word about the baby?

No.

I can go check
now again, if you...

That's ok.

This is really
happening to us, isn't it?

I'm afraid so.

What made this happen?
I mean, what did I do?

It wasn't anything that you did.

I mean, I'm not a drinker,

I don't smoke,

I only did dr*gs once.

That was a long time ago.

Could I have been eating the
wrong things the whole time?

You're a vegetarian...

Maybe it's something physical,

Like some kind of genetic
defect or something.

I don't think it was
anything like that, either.

Then what's the answer, david?

I mean, we know the question.

Why was my baby
born prematurely?

And why is it
probably going to die?

No one can answer that.

Well, if it's not
something physical, I mean...

Maybe I'm being
punished for something.

Sweetheart, don't do that
to yourself. That's ridiculous.

Well, I mean, why
is it ridiculous?

We don't know everything.

Maybe there's some
unknowable power at work,

Like some kind of
universal force

That's punishing me
for something that I did.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Well, I must have, david,

Because if there's nothing
physically wrong with me,

And I didn't do anything
morally wrong,

Then nothing makes any sense.

Why do I deserve this?

No... No.

Look at me.

You don't deserve this.

Ok? You do not deserve this.

I do not deserve this.

Our baby does not deserve this.

These things happen, ok?

No one deserves them.

Ok?

Come here.

I'm here for you.

I'm always here for you.

I must have walked
across this room , times.

How long have
they been in there?

An hour.

How long does it
take to examine a baby?

I mean, she's only the si...

I'm sorry.

It's ok, mark.

Well, roseanne, your
high-priced specialists

Are sure taking their time.


That's because they're
high-priced specialists, mother.

Yeah, and for the
money I pay 'em,

They better be
taking a lot of time.

Dr. Phillips, what's happening?

Dr. Nkosi and I have
examined the baby.

I'm afraid that we both
concur with dr. Rudman.

Does darlene know?

Yes. We've gone over
everything with them.

I want you to know everything
that can be done is being done.

We shouldn't give up hope.

Oh, man...

Oh, man...

I don't understand.

You men are supposed to
be the best in your field.

You sure you tried everything?

Yes, we have, mr. Conner.

Well, now, isn't there some
kind of experimental drug

Or some machine or something?

You do understand, don't you,

That money is no object?

It's not a question
of money, mrs. Conner.

Unfortunately, we cannot
duplicate the conditions in the womb.

But this is crazy.

I mean, there's got to be
something that you can do.

I wish there was, mrs.
Conner. I'm so sorry.

Well...

Can we see the baby?

Of course you can.

But don't be shocked
when you see her.

She doesn't look like
a full-term baby looks.

Her skin is a
little translucent,

And she's very tiny.

She's so beautiful.

She's my daughter.

She's my beautiful
little daughter.

Oh, I can't stand to look at her

Hooked up to all this stuff.

Is there any point to this?

Well, in some
instances like these,

Parents decide to
unplug the machine,

And let nature take its course.

Well, david, I think we
have a decision to make.

Wait. Are you saying
that this is it for her?

Well, if you're asking
my medical opinion,

I would say that she has very
little chance to survive on her own.

Well, i... I mean,

I think that she deserves
a chance to experience life

Not hooked up to all these
machines and tubes and stuff.

Yeah. I think she's right.

All right. Well,
I'll send in a nurse

With some forms for you to sign.

David, let's take a walk.

I don't want to leave.

No, come on. Just
a minute. Come on.

I'll come with you.

Yeah, me, too.

You hang in there, david.

I don't know if I can take this.

Hey, it's hard. I
know it's hard,

But sometimes you just gotta
put one foot in front of the other,

Even though you don't
know where you're going.

I feel like I'm gonna lose it.

No, you're not. No, you're not.

I've never seen you as together
as you were today, dave.

All right? You're gonna
make it through this.

Yeah. You're doing great.

Darlene needs you, david.
You gotta stay focused.

Just when you think you don't
have anything more to give,

You gotta find more to give.

I don't know if I
can, mr. Conner.

David, look, I know it's not
politically correct to say this,

But you are the man.

Darlene needs you to
be strong right now.

I know, I know.

Hey, guys...

Hey, deej, let me show
you how to steal candy

Out of this machine over here.

How do you do that?

It's easy. You just need a
hairpin and a soldering iron.

David, I know I'm not your dad,

But you're like a son to me,

And I'm gonna get
you through this.

It just happened
so fast, you know?

Just a year ago
things were simple,

And then darlene got pregnant,

And we got married, and...

I'm sorry, mr. Conner,

But I'll admit that it
took me a long time

To even get used to the
idea of being a father.

But now I am.

And I want it more than
anything in the world.

It's just too much.

How do I deal with it all?

Well, look, david, I
ain't no philosopher,

But everyone knows
that there's good...

And there's bad, ok?

But nobody thinks that the bad
stuff's ever gonna happen to them,

And then one day... Wham!

All of a sudden, it does.

And you think there's no
way that you can go on.

But...

One day goes by.

Then another day goes
by, then a week, a month...

A year...

And you look back...

Hey,

I got through that.

I don't know how, but I made it.

I'm not going to let
her down, mr. Conner.

I know you're not.

Can we walk for a while?

Yeah, sure.

God...

She just looks so fragile.

We'll let you all
have some privacy.

What am I gonna do, mom?

I... I just... I just think
we should all hold her.

Are you sure we should
do this, roseanne?

I'm not sure of anything, mom,

Except...

I know that she comes

From a long line of women
who fight and survive.

Looks like some kind of coven.

Hi, you. Hi.

You are so beautiful.

You know, when I
was about years old,

We were riding in the car,

And...

Heh...

I was leaning up
against the door,

And all of a sudden the
door just popped open,

And...

I started to fall
out of the car,

'Cause I remember I looked down

And I could see the road
rushing underneath me,

And I was literally,
like, outside of the car.

And...

All of a sudden, out of nowhere,

My mom reached over and
she grabbed me by the hair,

And she pulled me back inside.

And so...

If you... If you
feel like you're...

Like you're starting
to fall away...

Then you're not,

Because... Because we're
gonna pull you back inside.

Oh, my.

You've got quite a grip.

I think you're stronger
than you're letting on.

Hey, there.

You know, your mom and I had a pretty
cool aunt when we were growing up,

And I hope I can be
the same for you.

I want to apologize to you.

Now, the only thing I
have even thought about

Were ways to heal your body,

'Cause I know better.

We're not... Bodies with souls.

We are souls with bodies.

Hey, you.

We really...

Want you to stay with us, ok?

I mean, we got all
the generations

Of women in the family here.

I just thought of what
your name should be.

Harris conner healy.

[Instrumental music]

P.a.: Dr. Phillips
to neonatal i.c.u.

Dr. Phillips to
n.i.c.u., Please.

Dr. Phillips to
n.i.c.u., Please.

[Baby crying]
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