07x08 - Vreedlemania

[bunniefuu]

Well, hello, and good day to you,,, sir,

Pa Vreedle: Well, hello,

Might this be the great vault of Sulcus,

the most secure repository of legal tender 'round these here parts?

It is,

Pa Vreedle: And does it also hold an enormous stockpile

of taydenite, the most valuable, valuable in the universe?

[ chuckles ]

Did you just come in to chat,

or is there a point to this?

Pa Vreedle: Only that I am the notorious Pa Vreedle, and this here's a stickup,

Oh, for goodness sake!

[ metal clinks ]

Pa Vreedle: So long, sulkus!

[ laughs maniacally ]

[ alarm ringing ]

Take away my livelihood, and you only tip one tayden?!

Now, that's just tacky,

Pa Vreedle: [ grunting ] Ahh!

Floor it, parallelogram, before the constabulary gets after us!

[ snarl, grunts ]

Pa Vreedle: Do not fret, isosceles right triangle,

They will be otherwise occupate-o, for I have affixed

an explodable device to the wall of the vault,

You does mean the wall of the bank, doesn't you, pa?

[ poink! ]

[ b*mb ticking ]

All: Aah!

Pa Vreedle: Ohh,

[ gasps ] See? Not a total loss,

Aw, pa! The Vreedle nest egg has done been scrambled,

[ babbles ]

Pa Vreedle: Parry, Sceles, this calls for a

last-ditch-resort action of a

dangerous and horrifying nature!

[ gasps ]

You don't mean?

Pa Vreedle: Yep,

I gots to go reconcile [gulps] with your ma!

♪ Ben ♪

♪ He's a kid, and he wants to have fun ♪

♪ But when you need a superhero, he gets the job done ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ With a device that he wears on his arm ♪

♪ He can change his shape and save the world from harm ♪

♪ When trouble's taking place ♪

♪ He gets right in its face ♪ ♪ Ben ♪

♪ When lives are on the line ♪

♪ It's hero time ♪ ♪ Ben ♪

Rook: [ grunting ]

Mrs, Tennyson, Ben keeps touching me!

Ben: I do not! Rook: You do, too!

Ben, stay on your side, Rook, stop narking Ben out,

I can't believe you two are acting like this,

Ben: And I can't believe you accepted Ma Vreedle's dinner invitation,

Why is that a problem?

Ben: Uh, let's see -- she's a

criminal mastermind who almost destroyed your own son,

Rook: And her sons blew up the plumber academy,

I know there's a complicated history here, but she and I have really bonded,

Trust me, people can change,

Both: Not the Vreedles,

Rook: Ben! Big pretty boys!

Ben: Mom, stay in the car,

Looks like we've got a fight on our --

[ both grunting ]

Mm,

[ car doors close ]

You were saying?

Ma Vreedle: Well, there you are!

I was startin' to think we was stood up,

Oh, no, we wouldn't miss this for the world,

What do you say to our hostess?

Both: Hello, Mrs, Vreedle,

Ma Vreedle: Hi, boys,

[ whistles ]

Rhomboid, Octagon, get your sorry patooties out here!

Both: Hello, Mrs, Tennyson,

A little hostess present,

[ screams ]

[ all munching ]

Ohh, [ chuckles nervously ]

Well, okay, then,

[ spits, babbles ]

Ma Vreedle: Now, what I tell ya about eatin' snacks before dinner?

But what'll we do?

Truly, ma, that smacks of favoritism,

Ma Vreedle: Hush your petty grievances and strap on the feed bag,

Wash up!

[ laughs ] When in Rome,,,

[ chuckles ]

Ben: Uh, mom, that's not --

Rook: Shall I inform her of

the toxins likely to be found in that stream?

Ben: Too late,

[ indistinct babbling ]

[ both grunting ]

Ma Vreedle: Somebody's got a big appetite!

Rook: Mmm!

Ma Vreedle: Not like this little rascal,

[ chuckles ] What's the matter, Ben ?

Don't you like home cookin'?

Ben: As a matter of fact,,,

[ burps ]

Ben: ,,, I was just going to ask for more,

Ma Vreedle: There you go,

[ all burping ]

Ma Vreedle: Yep, moving my brood to earth was the best thing I ever done,

Hey, peanut! Remember when I tried to suck your oceans dry?

Ben: Yeah, and we stopped you,

Ma Vreedle: Mm-hmm,

And what about that time me and

the boys was fixin' to blow up your sun?

Rook: Yes, and we stopped you,

Ma Vreedle: Yeah,

You done lowered my family's quality of life, all right,

Ben: Can we leave now?

[ ting! ]

[ growling ]

[ roars ]

Ohh! Ben: Mom, get behind me!

Ma Vreedle: Aw, shucks, We got pests,

Deal with it, boys,

[ roars ]

Gutrot: Excuse me,

Could you look after my mom, Rook? Thank you,

Creature of the depths, prepare for a snootful of sleepin' gas!

[ machinery powering up ]

Yee-haw!

Ma Vreedle: Isosceles Right Triangle?

My little baby girl!

[ roaring ]

Yee-haw!

Rook: Who is that?

Uh, guess she's a girl Vreedle,

Rook: Nonsense,

[ roaring ]

Rook: I mean, obviously,,,

[ growls ]

Aww, Who's a good boy? Yeah, you are, You are,

[ growls ]

Gutrot: [ gags ] Ah, Excuse me, I, uh, just had to neutralize something,

[ chuckles ] [ footsteps approach ]

Ma Vreedle: And Parallelogram, too,

What are you kids doing here?

Pa Vreedle: I brought 'em,

Ma Vreedle: You!

Pa Vreedle: [ laughs ] That's right, honey bum,

I is home!

[ roars ]

Gutrot: Uh, listen, I don't want to say I told you so, but, uh,,,

I told you we should've left,

Ma Vreedle: You got your nerve up and gone, Vreedle,

Pa Vreedle: Oh, puddin' pants,

I come bearing good tidings,

having just swiped a ginormous haul!

Ma Vreedle: You couldn't steal spit from a sidewalk,

Pa Vreedle: [ laughs ] Au contrary,

I am flush with ill-gotten gains,

I'll prove it,

[ metal clinks ]

But, pa, ain't that the only piece?

Pa Vreedle: Only a tiny piece of a great, big booty!

[ laughs ] There's more where that came from, right, childrens?

Right,

[ babbles ]

Ma Vreedle: Oh, yeah!

Pa Vreedle: Ohh!

Ma Vreedle: Daddy's home!

Pa Vreedle: Ohh!

Oh, my, Octagon, I need a tissue,

It is downright poignant,

[ machinery powering down ]

Ben: And disturbing,

Rook: I agree,

This reunion could have unforeseen consequences,

Oh, they're a family again,

What could go wrong?

[ people screaming ]

Look out! Get back!

Call for backup!

Alpha team, hold your position!

Gamma team, see if you can -- look out, beta team!

Fall back, Delta team, behind ya,

Can anybody read me?!

Delta team?! Anybody?!

Rook: [ grunts ] Mrs, Tennyson, Ben is doing it again,

Ben: [ grunting ] I'm just trying to get you out of the car!

[ alarm ringing in distance ]

Mom, your BFFS, the Vreedles, are wrecking Bellwood,

Now, would you go hide someplace safe?

Be nice, Ben, Rook, you go introduce yourself to that cute one -- you know, Sceles?

[ tink! ]

Ben: Really?

[ expl*si*n ]

Billions tower!

[ expl*si*n, elephant trumpets ]

Rook: The zoo!

[ hinges squeak ] Ben: What are you doing?

Pa Vreedle: We has extrapolinated that that there

letter -- by all reports, the letter "b" -- is in fact a

giant, foil-wrapped chocolate,

Ben: It's a sign!

Why would somebody stick giant chocolates on a building?

Pa Vreedle: [ chuckling ] well, they won't hardly fit inside, now, will they?

[ rumbling ] Ben: [ gasps ]

[ grunts ]

[ chomp! ]

[ spits ]

[ growls ]

[ all scream ]

[ beeping ]

Bullfrag: [ spits ]

[ grunting ]

[ stifled ] Whoa, that hurt,

[ siren wailing ]

[ bird cries, tiger growls ]

[ tiger roars ]

[ elephant trumpets ]

Yee-haw!

Rook: What are you doing?

I gots me a hankerin' for a new pet,

Rook: Those are dangerous, wild animals,

They're not pets,

[ grunts ] [ elephant trumpets ]

They is to me,

How about you, plumber man?

You a wild animal?

Rook: I have a girlfriend,

[ clears throat ] She,,, lives on another planet,

Ohh, Then why leave your guard down 'round me?

[ elephant trumpets ]

Rook: Aah!

No, really,

Rayona -- she is quite attractive,

And you are a Vreedle, my sworn enemy,

[ sighs ]

Not cool, blonko,

Whew! Ma is gonna be mighty proud when we show her what we brung,

We has been upstaged,

By our own kin!

Pa Vreedle: Oh, You ought to be used to that by now,

It ain't your fault, sons of mine,

You just come from a long line of incomp-tenence is all,

We does?

Ooh, I don't like long lines,

Pa Vreedle: You see, ma gots a gift for felony, but generation after generation,

clone after clone, some of y'all Vreedle brothers never got too good at it,

So, basically what you're saying is that we just hopeless,

Pa Vreedle: Oh, they ain't no reason to give up,

Just keep trying like I do,

[ laughs ]

Mm, [ sniffles ] We done missed a lot by not having a daddy in our lives,

Mm, hmm,

Apropos of missing, it appears pa just pickpocketed our favorite blasters,

Well, ain't that ironical?

Ain't it?

[ siren wailing in distance ]

Ben: Ma's got to be around here some-- whoa!

[ munching ] Dody teethin',

[ beeping ]

Feedback: You want something to chew on?

Hey,

Dody, Dody,

Look at me, Dody,

[ sighs ] This day could not get any worse,

Vilgax: Ben Tennyson!

I, vilgax, conqueror of billions, have returned to exact

my revenge for your impudence!

Cower before me, or this time your defeat will be absolute!

Ma Vreedle: Hey, squid-diddly! Git,

Vilgax: [ gasps ] Mrs, Vreedle,

[ chuckles, clears throat ] Nice seeing you,

[ chuckles, clears throat ]

So, anyway, Ben, I-I have to go,

Ma Vreedle: Okay, babies, as you was,

[ tires screech ]

Rook: [ grunts ]

[ bubbling ]

[ babbles ]

[ all babbling excitedly ]

Ma Vreedle: Where you going?

It's just a bunch of bubble wrap,

[ bubble wrap popping ]

Wait for me!

[ both grunt ]

Ben: You sent them "packing,"

[ chuckles ]

Get it? "Packing"?

[ chuckles ]

Packing material?

Eh, never mind,

[ popping continues ]

[ all groaning, babbling ]

Ma, we was looking all over for you,

Ma Vreedle: [ slurring ] I is right here,

Whew! You gonna be so proud of us, ma,

We done stole a whole load of bouillon, see?

Ma Vreedle: Huh?

That's bullion, not bouillon!

I am not fully comprehensive of the distinction,

Ma Vreedle: One is a soup mix, The other is gold bricks,

[ elephant trumpeting ]

Now you get it?!

Octagon! We done it wrong again,

Sad but true, However, there is still one place we know that is crammed

with theft-worthy assets,

We do?

[ groans ]

[ expl*si*n ]

[ all shouting, laughing ]

[ indistinct chatter ]

Rook: Man, I may be infatuated with a sociopathic monster,

Ben: Sceles? That is so gross, man,

Rook: Yes, But --

Ben: No buts, Gross,

Rook: But --

Ben: No,,, buts,

[ sighs ] Next time an intergalactic supervillain invites me to dinner,

I'm giving a firm "no,"

Rook: It was your mother who accepted,

Uh, speaking of which, where is she?

[ bell dings ]

[ cellphone rings ]

BEN: Ma, are you okay? I'm fine,

I'm across from the park,

BEN: Museum park?!

Yes, Why?

[ gasps ]

[ gasping ]

Oh! You saved me!

Ma Vreedle: Moms got to look out for one another, right?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I got some thievin' and rampagin' to resume,

Now, boys! Hit it with a shovel!

Oh! I have to tell Ben,

[ beeping ]

Ben: Hello?

Ben, I had to tell you,

Mrs, Vreedle just saved my life,

Ben: Uh, what?!

You say she's just a crook,

but there's more to her than that, and she loves her kids,

Ben: Oh, yeah? The kids who are trashing the town, or the kids who are sh**ting at us?

Rook: Ben, the proto-tool is nearly depleted,

Ben: Shush!

I'm telling you to look deeper,

You have to get into her head,

Ben: Get into her head?

Mom, you're a tofu stir-fry genius,

Ma Vreedle: Eh, too small, Oh, this one's nice,

Oh! Shiny,

Ben: Hey, ma!

[ plink! ]

[ beeping ]

Ghostfreak: Thanks for saving my mom, but you're still going down!

Ma Vreedle: Boy's crazier than I thought,

Ohh!

[ echoing ] Listen up, Vreedle spawn, Chill out,

I mean cease and desist, I mean,,,

Huh? Huh?

Dody?

Somethin' ain't right with ma,

That ain't her usual style of talking,

Boid, you has correctly fingered the anomaly, Get her!

[ all babbling ]

Ma Vreedle: Get off me! Ow! Stop that!

[ babbling continues ]

Now everybody just settle down,

[ normal voice ] There's gonna be serious reconcussions, young man,

[ vehicle approaches, tires screech ]

Enough! No more fighting by anyone at all!

Ma Vreedle: Are you telling me what to do?

Yes, as your friend,

Ma Vreedle: Never actually had one of them before,

[ siren wailing in distance ]

Oh, now, ain't that a beautiful thing,

Ma Vreedle: Zip it, you half-wit dope!

Which reminds me, where's your pa at?

Pa Vreedle: Sceles, you cannot bring a elephant,

Aw, daddy! The earth kind don't get any bigger,

Pa Vreedle: Now, don't you "daddy" me,

You know the rule, puddin' -- no loot what needs to breathe,

[ voice breaking ] all right, Back to the zoo now, Wrinkles,

Go on! Scoot!

[ wrinkles trumpets ]

Ben: Mom! Rhomboid's touching me!

Ma! Ben's a tattletale!

Both: Quiet!

Ma Vreedle: You are a lousy rat,

You done scammed me!

Pa Vreedle: [ chuckles ] Correct on both counts,

Ma Vreedle: What were you thinkin'?!

Pa Vreedle: Aw, babyflakes,

I was having a bad run heist-wise,

I decided to use you all to replenish our family fortune,

Ma Vreedle: Then grab it all and skedaddle,

Say it ain't so!

Pa Vreedle: Admittedly, I is a poor role model,

And with that, I bid you adieu,

Ha ha!

Ben: Yeah, like we'd just let you leave,

Ma Vreedle: Stay out of it, peanut,

This here is a family problem,

Ben: You wrecked the city, That makes it my problem,

[ beeps ]

Kickin hawk: [ squawking ]

[ whistles ]

[ roars ]

Kickin hawk: [ squawks ]

[ gurgles ]

Ben!

[ growling ]

[ roars ]

Ben: You saved us?

Ma Vreedle: I saved my friend, Sandra,

You just got the benefit,

Now, as for you three,,,

[ screams ]

Mwah!

See you later, plumber man!

I'll message ya -- if'n I learn to write!

[ horn honks ]

Think Ben 's gonna come after us?

Pa Vreedle: He ain't following nobody,

Amidst the confusion, I done affixed a explodable device to

that there vehicle of his, Ha ha!

Aw, pa!

[ b*mb ticking ]

Whew-whee!

Pa sure do blow stuff up real good, don't he?

He do indeed, boid, He do indeed,

Ma Vreedle: Up and gone, you dirty dealer,

That was the nastiest double cross you ever done,

[ crying ]

I-I miss you already! Ohh!

Shh, it's okay,

Ben: [ sighs ] Mom's got to get new friends,

[ sirens wailing in distance ]