08x01 - From Hedorium to Eternity

[bunniefuu]

Young Ben: Behold my mad skills!

My corner kick against McDuffie in the finals is a thing of legend!

Young Gwen: [ scoffs ] More like fairy tale,

Young Ben: Pfft, Whatever,

[ grunts ]

Stee-rike! And that is how it's done,

Any questions?

Young Gwen: Yeah,

Why is Mr, Baumann wearing a tuxedo?

Young Ben: Hot date, Mr, Baumann?

Housewarming party at the old Collins house,

Fancy dress -- no kids allowed,

The old haunted Collins house?

[ animal howls ]

Really, Lucy, there's no such thing as ghosts,

The house is just old, not haunted,

Young Gwen: Who'd buy that old dump, anyway?

Nobody bought it, Thaddeus J, Collins inherited it,

Don't you kids follow the local news?

Young Ben: Uh, no, 'cause we're kids, Duh,

Mind your manners, young man,

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late, and Mr, Collins is serving dim sum,

Young Ben: It's all about eyeball-to-soccer-ball coordination,

Young Gwen: You mean like this?

[ grunts ]

[ grunts ] Yeah! Girls rule! Boys drool!

[ laughs, snorts ]

Young Ben: Oh, So, we're allowed to use our alien powers now?

Stand back,

Young upchuck: [ belches ]

[ horn honking, alarm blaring ]

Young Gwen: [ gasps ]

[ honking and blaring continue ]

[ honking and blaring stop ]

Young Ben: Before you say anything, Mr, Baumann, it was an accident,

I'm so sorry, But it was totally Gwen's fault,

Young Gwen: Hey!

Accidents happen, Ben,

Young Gwen: You're not mad?

Got to get inside,

Too bright out here,

Young Ben: Uh, the sun set an hour ago,

It's so good to see young people playing out in the fresh air,

Young Ben: Uh,,,what just happened?

♪ Ben ♪ ♪ He's a kid, and he wants to have fun ♪

♪ But when you need a superhero, he gets the job done ♪

♪ Ben ♪ ♪ With a device that he wears on his arm ♪

♪ He can change his shape and save the world from harm ♪

♪ When trouble's taking place ♪

♪ He gets right in its face ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ When lives are on the line ♪

♪ It's hero time ♪ ♪ Ben ♪

Young Ben: [ snoring ] Huh?

Mr, Baumann, it's : a,m,!

[ yawning ] What are you doing?

[ squeak! Squeak! ]

Mr, Baumann?

Sounds like a strange dream, all right,

[ laughs, snorts ] Young Ben: It seemed so real, though,

Young Gwen: Yeah -- real boring,

I had an awesome dream last

night where we were fighting

Vilgax, and --

An invisible dog?!

Young Gwen: [ scoffs ] No, What?

Young Ben: Uh, hey, mister,

You forget something?

[ grunts ]

Young Gwen: Excuse us,

Thank you, dears,

Such well-mannered children,

Here, Have some pickled cow tongues,

[ boing! ]

Young Ben: Blech!

Did you see her eye?

Young Ben: Just like Mr, Baumann,

Young Gwen: Maybe there's a pink-eye epidemic or a high pollen count?

Young Ben: Whatever it is, it's making people act really weird,

Young Gwen: Not people -- just grown-ups,

Yeah! [ laughs, snorts ] We're all fine, aren't we?

Young Ben: Let me see your eyes,

Can you see mine?

[ snorts ] okay? Can you look a little closer? A little closer!

Young Ben: Yeah, you're okay, Looks fine,

How 'bout you, Jonesy have you noticed all the

grown-ups in town suddenly acting crazy?

Grown-ups always act crazy,

Climb aboard,,,children,

All: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aah! Why am I screaming?!

Oh, Whew! Got it,

That darn eyelash has been bothering me all morning,

Children?

Young Ben: You got to believe us, Grandpa Max,

All the grown-ups in town are freaking out!

Max: Well, I'm not,

Young Gwen: But everybody else we've seen is,

I'll agree with them, but I still don't know what's going on,

Max: I'm sure it's nothing,

Sometimes adults can be driven to their wits' end by you kids,

uh, your -- how shall we say? --

youthful enthusiasm,

But Mr, Baumann was totally fine until he came back from the old Collins house,

Young Ben: Yeah, Suddenly, he was,,,nice,

Young Gwen: To Ben,

Max: [ gasps ]

Something's definitely wrong,

[ crow cawing ]

He's been in there a long time, you guys,

Young Ben: I'm going in after him,

[ all gasp ] [ door opens, closes ]

Max: There's nothing to worry about, children,

All: Aaaaaaaaaah!

Max: Mr, Collins is a good neighbor,

Young Gwen: Yeah, good at stealing your brain!

And messing with your eyeball!

Max: It's so nice to see young people using their

imaginations again these days,

Young Gwen: Grandpa?

Young Ben: We're gonna need backup,

[ ringing ]

[ cellphone ringing ] Hello?

Young Ben: Cooper, I need you to build something high-techy to

spy inside the old Collins house,

Come on, Ben, Haunted houses are a bunch of superstitious nonsense,

I got better things to do,

Young Ben: Sorry, Gwen!

Cooper can't help!

He's got better things to do!

Gwen?

[ doorbell rings ]

Hey,

[ cellphone beeps ]

Wow! [ snorts ]

Your techno-pathetic powers are awesome!

Technopathic, and, yes, they are,

Behold the surveillance spider!

How's it work? Perfectly,

Oh, you mean,,, it'll go look inside the old

Collins' house while we watch a

live video feed on Gwen's computer,

Young Gwen: That's amazing,

You're amazing, Young Ben: Ugh,

Just say, "thanks," Gwen,

[ whirring ]

They say the guy who built the old Collins house was a

werewolf and that he's immortal,

kept young and hungry by a painting of a bowl of fruit in

the attic that ages instead of him,

It's what,,,they,,,say,

[ yowls ]

All: Aaaaah! [ yowls ]

Young Ben: Relax, It's just a cat,

Young Gwen: Then why did you scream?

Young Ben: I didn't want you guys to be embarrassed if no one else screamed,

Just trying to help,

Young Gwen: Keep telling yourself that,

Huh? [ static ]

What happened?

This can't be right,

These readings say the surveillance spider is

, feet underground,

Young Gwen: Underground?

What could be down there?

Young Ben: Let's go inside and find out for ourselves,

On a school night?

Young Ben: Don't come if you're scared,

I'm not, Mom and dad like me to get a good night's sleep so I can do my best at school,

Well, if your mom and dad are pod people, they're not gonna care how you do in school,

[ laughs, snorts ]

[ hinges creak ]

We could hold hands, Gwen, you know, I-if you want,

Young Gwen: I'm good, Thanks,

Young Ben: [ smooching ]

Guys, where's Lucy?

I was trying to sneak a peek at whatever's going on in here,

until you blew my cover,

Well, excuse me for being concerned about your safety,

Do me a favor -- don't,

Young Ben: Everyone just chill and follow me,

All: Aaaaaaah!

We're about to become human pancakes!

I hate pancakes!

Young Ben: Come on, omnitrix!

Give me something that can fly! and for the record, pancakes rule!

Young way big: Way big? Way awesome!

We're falling a quarter of a mile at the rate of feet per second!

You know what that means?!

Pancakes!

Would you quit it?!

Young way big: Whoa!

Whoa!

[ all grunt ]

Young Gwen: Looks like Way Big is way too big,

Young way big: Oh, that was so funny, I forgot to laugh,

[ all gasp ]

All: Aaah!

Young Gwen: Illuminatis,

Whoa,

What is this place?

Looks like a whole system of underground caves,

Young Ben: Who knew this was under Bellwood?

Young Kevin: Never thought I'd be glad to see your ugly face again, Tennyson,

Young Ben: Kevin?!

Young Gwen: Kevin Levin?

You know this guy?

Young Ben: Unfortunately, but he's supposed to be locked away in the null void,

The what what?

Young Kevin: I hitched a ride out with Thaddeus J, Collins,

He brought me here to mine hedorium,

Young Ben: Sure, he did,

You can create an endless supply of this stuff?

Young Gwen: What does Mr, Collins want it for?

Young Kevin: Beats me,

So, you're mining an unknown

substance for a total stranger

for unknown reasons in a

mysterious underground tunnel?

Young Kevin: Well, when you put it that way,,,

Young Ben: And you just decided to help him out of the

goodness of your heart, huh, Mr, Nice guy?

Young Kevin: You got me,

Thaddeus said once I make him

enough hedorium, he'll sever my connection to the null void, okay?

Plumbers' snake,

Keeps me from straying too far

from that interdimensional monkey on my back,

The science behind this is amazing!

Plumber techs must be geniuses,

Young Kevin: Study it later, man,

First, disconnect me,

Young Ben: How dense do you think we are?

Young Gwen: You were sent to the null void for a reason, Kevin,

Young Ben: Crazy, evil, tried

to destroy me -- any of this ring a bell?

Young Kevin: But you have to help me,

You're the good guys,

Young Ben: Try again,

Young Kevin: Thaddeus captured me,

You said you volunteered,

Young Kevin: Dude, what if the world is doomed or something?

Are you gonna pass on saving the

entire earth from Collins just to get back at me?

Does this stuff happen to you guys all the time?

'cause this is, like, crazy!

Young Ben: You' better hope the world really is doomed, or you're toast, man,

Jonesy, Lucy, let's get out of here,

We've got to find out what Mr, Collins is up to,

Young Gwen: What about Cooper and me?

Young Ben: You two stay here and deal with Kevin,

Thank you, universe,

Young Ben: He's using hedorium to control all the grown-ups' minds, I know it,

I don't think hedorium can even do that,

Seriously, are we not gonna talk about how nothing going on here is normal?

What? You already know about Ben's watch [giggles] and that I'm an alien,

[ snorts, laughs ]

Yeah, but mind control?

I just hope the grown-ups are okay,

Max: Hello, children,

Young Ben: Grandpa, no!

Young Eye Guy: It's Ben, Lucy, and Jonesy!

You've got hedorium on the brain!

Max: That's nice,

Young Kevin: So, you're Gwen's little boyfriend,

You've got good taste, my man,

Young Gwen: Leave him alone, Kevin,

We're just friends,

Young Kevin: Ooh, Sorry, dude,

Girls like guys with an edge,

And -- no offense -- you wouldn't know an edge if you fell off of one,

Young Gwen: Hey!

A lot you know! One time I tried my friend's skateboard!

Just don't tell my mom,

Young Kevin: You don't get it, do you?

I'm the cool bad boy, and you're the doughy nerd,

Young Gwen: [ sighs ] Shut it before I shut it for you!

Young Kevin: See? Emotional reaction,

Teach me how you did that,

Max: That's not nice,

Psych!

Young Eye Guy: I got it!

Max: Aah!

That wasn't very polite, young man,

Young Eye Guy: You'll thank me for it later!

Jonesy! [ grunts ]

Max: [ grunts ]

[ grunting ] Ugh!

[ breathing heavily ]

Young Kevin: Don't you think that was the first thing I tried?

If I can't sever your connection to the gateway, maybe I can make the portal mobile,

Young Kevin: Uh,,, you lost me, kid,

If I could reprogram the snake's cartographic stasis grid,

you should be able to pull the portal around behind you

like a kite on a string,

Young Kevin: Sweet,

[ creaking ]

any other bright ideas?

I didn't say I was done,

We need a powerful burst of

energy to loosen the gateway's ionic bonds at a molecular level,

Young Gwen: Good job, Cooper, Now we can't waste any more time,

Let's go,

Young Kevin: Yes! I'm free -- kind of,

Young Gwen: Haven't got all day, Kevin,

[ mechanical humming ]

Does anyone else hear that?

No, It's just you,

[ laughs, snorts ] Psych!

Maybe some kind of machine?

Young Ben: Or k*ller robots!

Any bad guy worth his salt has got to have k*ller robots,

It's, like, in the villains' handbook or something,

Remind me to stop hanging out with you guys,

Young Ben: [ laughs ] Levin is still locked up? Perfect,

Young Kevin: Laugh all you want, Tennyson,

This is way better than being chained to one spot,

[ clears throat ] k*ller robots?

Young Ben: Right,

What was that about k*ller robots?

Young Gwen: That,,, is not a robot,

Young Ben: Aww, How about that?

That would be an open transmat portal,

A wormhole that links two points in the universe by way of transmat connection,

It's a portal bad things come out of,

Young Ben: Why didn't you say so?

We need to stop it,

The hedorium collider must be fed,

Nothing must impede our progress,

Thaddeus: What do we have here?

Ben Tennyson, We meet again,

Young Ben: Again? I've pummeled a lot of bad guys,

but I don't remember punching that face,

Thaddeus: Oh, tsk, Forgotten me already?

Perhaps this will jar your memory,

[ snarls ]

Young Gwen: Zs'skayr!

Young Ben: You were right, Earth is doomed, Happy now?

Young Gwen: You've been helping Zs'skayr?

Young Kevin: Not on purpose,

Zs'Skayr: This planet was born in radiance,

Now I shall bring on the night!

Young Ben: That black fog your machine is pumping out is

rising to the surface,

Zs'Skayr: Into the atmosphere

of your lovely planet, where it will create an impenetrable

cloak of darkness, engulfing the earth in a dark shadow for all

eternity so the rest of my kind can claim our new home!

Young Ben: Dude, those aren't your kind, They're people,

Young Gwen: People who are possessed by Zs'skayr's creepy relatives!

That transmat portal must be an open link to their home world,

Seriously? If we survive this, I am out!

No more aliens, no more you guys, no more ghosts -- out!

We've got to get through this first,

Young Ben: Which means it's hero time,

Young Upgrade: Figure out how to shut down that evil

smoke-creating thingy and the portal while I kick some ectonurite butt!

Young Kevin: Do ectonurites have butts?

Young Gwen: Not helpful, Kevin,

Zs'Skayr: So, we're showing off our alternate forms now, are we?

[ roars ]

Alien Zs'skayr: Welcome to the end of the world, Ben Tennyson!

Young Gwen: [ grunts ]

Alien Zs'skayr: What's the matter, Ben -- afraid of the dark?

[ laughs evilly ]

Young Upgrade: Uh-oh,

Young Gwen: Grandpa! Mr, Baumann! We have to save them!

Is there a magic spell that'll separate the ectonurites

from their human hosts?

Young Gwen: I think so,

While I work on that, you go sever the transmat connection,

Right, Once the connection's cut, the energy reversal will send

our unwelcome guests back to where they belong,

We'll keep them off you,

We will?

[ grunts ]

Yeah, we will!

Young Gwen: I need you to keep them busy while I figure out a spell,

You ready to be a hero, Kevin?

Young Kevin: Do I have to?

Somebody needs to shut down the hedorium collider!

Me?

Young Upgrade: Huh?

Hello, there,

Got to figure out how this thing works,

Gwen's counting on me,

Young Gwen: [ speaking foreign language ]

Young Upgrade: Hey, Zs'skayr!

Let there be light!

Go ahead, you overblown smokestack!

Make,,,my,,,day! Ugh!

We can't hold them much longer!

Young Gwen: [ speaking foreign language ]

Young Kevin: Looks like we won't have to,

[ all moaning ]

Cooper!

[ whistle! Thud! ]

[ clatter! Crash! ]

Go, Jonesy!

Who's cool now, huh, Kevin?

Alien Zs'skayr: [ snarls ]

This is not over between us, Ben Tennyson!

Revenge will be mine!

[ all cheering ]

Young Kevin: Aaaaah!

Young Upgrade: Gotcha!

Young Ben: Ya-a-a-a-a-h!

Young Gwen: [ grunts ]

[ grunts ]

[ grunts ]

Kevin: Cooper!

Ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!

Young Ben: Ugh!

Young Kevin: Ugh!

Young Ben: Ugh!

Young Kevin: Be-e-e-e-e-n!

Young Ben: Aah! Ugh! [ groans ]

We tried, but he's supposed to be in the null void, like you said,

He's a bad guy, yeah?

Young Gwen: Yeah,

Young Ben: Look on the bright side --

we saved grandpa and the rest of the grown-ups and,

you know, the entire earth, so that's something,

Max: Thank you, everyone,

Oh, Right,

Thanks, kids -- even you, Ben,

Young Ben: Such good manners, Mr, Baumann,

[ rumbling ]

[ horn honking ]

[ horn powers down ]

Tennyson!

Young Ben: Another evil alien plot foiled by the greatest hero in the galaxy,

Young Gwen: Thanks!

You were pretty good, too,

Young Ben: Seriously, though,

everything's back to normal, and we even got rid of,,,

Kevin Levin?

Young Kevin: What up, my peeps?

Young Gwen: How did you get out of the null void?

Young Kevin: Your love brought me back, Gwen,

Young Gwen: [ chuckles ] What?

Psych,

[ laughing and snorting ]

You're totally in love with Kevin Levin!

Just admit it!

Young Gwen: Ugh! Young Ben: Aah!

Gwen's an ectonurite!

[ laughs ]

Young Gwen: Lucy!

[ laughs, snorts ]