03x05 - Double or Nothing

[bunniefuu]

Kevin: You gonna eat that?

Ben: I got stopped by some

fans.

Kevin: How long does it take

to sign a couple of autographs?

Ben: Hey, it's the least I

could do for my adoring public.

Kevin: You mean your paying

public.

Ben: My what?

Ben: My what?
Experience the excitement!

Share the adventure!

See the world's greatest hero

it's "Ben live"!

Kevin: Hey, Tennyson, looks

Kevin: Hey, Tennyson, looks
like you got your own show.

it's just wrong.

Kevin: Pretending to be you

in a stage show for money?

Sure is -- unless they pay you.

Ben: Right?

I mean, no.

I mean, aren't there laws about

this -- facial copyright or

something?

Gwen: According to their

website, this show sells out

everywhere it plays.

People are driving Miles to see

you.

Ben: So?

Kevin: Kind of seems like a

compliment.

Ben: Compliment?

Did you see that guy's hair?

Gwen: Okay, nice work on

Gwen: Okay, nice work on
the priorities.

Kevin: Has it started?

No.

However, we just closed the

doors.

May I see your tickets?

Ben: Hello?

Gwen: Don't mind him.

He's had a long flight.

We'll take three, please.

Impossible.

It's sold out.

[ Beep ]

Armodrillo: [ Roars ]

Go...Right in.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to the Nemesis towers resort

celebrity theater and to

tonight's special

presentation of...

Bentravaganza!

[ Sci-Fi music plays ]

Attention, earthlings.

I am Vilgax the conqueror, here

on my moon base, on the moon.

Surrender, or I shall destroy

you!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Kevin: Moon base?

Ben: Yeah.

I hear it's on the moon.

Not so fast, Vilgax.

Nobody is destroying anything!

So says I, Ben Tennyson!

[ Heroic music plays ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Beep ]

Time for you to chill out,

Vilgax.

Vilgax.
[ Inhales deeply, blows ]

[ Audience murmurs ]

I can't get out.

Kevin: Vilgax is kind of a

feeb, but the rest of them are

pretty good.

Ben: No, they aren't.

Gwen: Come on.

Even you have to admit this is

kind of awesome.

[ Laughs evilly ]

You are trapped, Ben Tennyson.

You cannot save yourself!

Well, in that case, I had

better call for a little help...

From the Gwenettes!

[ Whistles ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]
[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Kevin: Gwens.

Gwen: That is so wrong!

Kevin: Um, exactly what I was

thinking.

[ Whirring ]

[ Knuckles cr*ck ]

[ Beep ]

[ Beep ] [ Roars ]

[ Clatters ]
[ Cheers and applause ]

Anything, we find out all the

facts.

Ben: Since when did you

become the voice of reason?

Kevin: Since you two became

theater critics.

Okay. Now I'm perfectly calm.

Kevin: I don't see what

you're so sore about.

You're so sore about.
I'm not even in the show.

This is a private --

ooh.

Real Ben Tennyson?

Ben: Uh-huh.

Not happy about the show?

Ben: Unh-Unh.

I got to go.

Ben: We've got some business

Ben: We've got some business
to discuss.

Albedo: Ben Tennyson.
We meet again.

What do you think you're doing?!

Albedo: I was about to go out

for some chili fries.

Care to join me?

Ben: I mean, what are you

doing with this show?

Albedo: Truth be told, I'm

making the best of a bad

situation.

Thanks to you, I have no

Ultimatrix and hence no way to

fly myself away from this sad

little planet your actions

stranded me upon.

Worst of all, I'm trapped in

this repulsive human form!

And since I needed some way to

earn a living...

I realized that the most

fitting, if ironic, choice would

be to make money off of you, so

I created "Ben live."

B: Well, you just had your

last curtain call.

The show's over.

Albedo: [ Gasps ]

And disappoint my fans?

Albedo: Whatever.

[ Beep ]

[ Rumbling ]

Kevin: Ah!

Gwen: [ Grunts ]

Ben: [ Grunts ]

Hey!

Shut that thing off.

I'm going after albedo.

Kevin: On it!

Gwen: [ Grunts ]

Gwen: [ Grunts ]
[ Glass shatters ]

Gwen: [ Grunting ]

Ben: I thought you said you

didn't have an Ultimatrix.

Yeah. So?

Ben: So if you don't have an

Ultimatrix, how did you change

into Swampfire?

Huh.

Uh, that's, uh...

None of your business!

[ Beep ]

[ Beep ]
Waterhazard: Waterhazard!

I changed again.

I changed again.
Now I'm a different creature!

[ Beep ]
NRG: NRG!

Got to do better than that,
albedo.

[ Roars ]

NRG: Really?

Really.

Really.
Wait. Time-out.

Bring it on.

[ Beeping ]

Ultimate Spidermonkey:

Ultimate Spidermonkey:
Ultimate Spidermonkey!

Kevin: What'd we miss?

Ultimate Spidermonkey: Albedo

just played a collection of his

greatest hits.

Gwen: But I thought he

said --

ultimate Spidermonkey: Yeah.

No Ultimatrix.

Plus, he was really easy to

b*at.

I'm not finished yet.

I'm not finished yet.
Wait till I get my second wind.

Not counting us and albedo, I'm

sensing three more life forms.

Ultimate Spidermonkey: You

two have a look around.

Two have a look around.
I'm gonna chat with albedo.

Ultimate Spidermonkey: How's

it hanging?

Would you mind letting me down?

I have a major fear of heights.

Also of falling and bruising.

Ultimate Spidermonkey: You

know what, albedo?

You don't sound much like

yourself.

Ah, yes.

Well, um, I'm sure there's a,

you know, reasonable

explanation.

Albedo: [ Grunting ]

Kevin: Look who we found.

And that would be it.

Albedo: [ Grunting ]

Ben: Explanations?

Albedo: [ Grunting ]

Ow.

Albedo: As I mentioned, I was

broke and I was stranded.

But I did have an old subspace

communicator.

So I used it to find performers

who would lend my show a certain

verisimilitude.

[ Grumbling ]

Albedo: [ Sighs ]

Albedo: [ Sighs ]
[ Tango music plays ]

Next!

[ Snarling ]

[ Burps ]

Albedo: What you see here are

the winners, such as they are.

Gwen: This Ultimatrix is just

an overgrown strobe light.

Between that and the smoke, he

blinded the audience long enough

to cover the aliens' entrances

and exits.

Kevin: So, you've been going

around the country, doing this

act for...

Albedo: Ever since I escaped

from Vilgax's ship.

Every second-rate resort, sales

convention, and county fair.

In one night, out the next.

Gwen: But now you're gonna

stop, right?

Albedo: What, and give up

show business?

Ben: Oh, I am so going to

clobber you!

Gwen: Oh, but what's the

point?

Ben: "What's the point?"

I'll tell you what's the point!

How many times has albedo stolen

the Omnitrix or the Ultimatrix

or kidnapped you or, might I

add, tried to k*ll me?!

And -- and now here he is again,

ripping me off, using my face to

fool people and steal their

money with this ridiculous

dog-and-phony show!

Kevin: Feel better?

Ben: A little.

Gwen: Ben, if you want to

shut down "Ben live," fine.

My dad's a lawyer.

Let him handle it.

Ben: Yeah, but --

Gwen: I don't like him,

either, but albedo isn't a

thr*at anymore.

He's a nuisance.

Albedo: You needn't worry.

Tonight was our last

performance.

[ Gasps ]

What?!

B-but what about --

albedo: I said we're done.

Ben: All right.

But try anything like this

again, and I'll -- I'll --

Gwen: See you in court.

Gwen: See you in court.
Ben: Yeah! That!

Major beatdown.

Kevin: Why waste the energy?

End of story.

[ Panting ]

[ Panting ] Wait for me!

Doing?

[ Breathlessly ] Trying to

catch up.

Parenthetically, I am not much

of an athlete.

I came to warn you about

Albedo's real plan.

Kevin: He's selling toys and

t-shirts?

[ Stammers ]

I'm serious!

Albedo wasn't just raising money

for rent.

H-he's been slowly buying parts

and equipment so he can build a

doomsday b*mb.

Ben: Doomsday b*mb?

Yes!

And -- and -- and he's gonna set

and -- and -- and he's gonna set
it off tonight!

Kevin: Why do bad guys always

have their hideouts in a

warehouse?

Do they get a discount?

Ben: Could we focus here?

Albedo is building a doomsday

b*mb.

Gwen: But why blow up the

world?

Ben: Because that's what

doomsday bombs do?

Gwen: No, think for a second.

If Albedo's stuck on earth, what

does he gain from destroying it?

It doesn't make sense.

I-I didn't say, "destroy."

A-actually, what he's got

planned is even crazier.

Th-th-the b*mb is designed to,

uh, rewrite DNA.

So -- so everyone in the whole

world will be a genetic

duplicate of Ben Tennyson.

Duplicate of Ben Tennyson.
Kevin: That's horrifying.

Gwen: What's that?

That's, uh, to protect him

from the b*mb's face-altering

radiation.

Gwen: Hold on.

He already looks like Ben, so

why protect himself --

Ben: No time for a debate,

Gwen.

We have to stop albedo -- now!

[ Beep ]

NRG: Back away from the b*mb.

Gwen: Ben, would you wait a

second?

Kevin: No.

Albedo: Hold them off.

Albedo: Hold them off.
NRG: [ Grunts ]

This suit is designed to protect

against radiation and heat.

I did not know that.

[ Grunts ]

Gwen: [ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

Gwen: [ Grunts ]

Kevin, where are you?

Kevin, where are you?
Kevin: [ Grunts ]

NRG: Hey, whose side are you

on?

[ Grunts ]

Actually, that's kind of

complicated.

NRG: Well, let me know when

you figure it out.

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ] [ Grunts ]

Careful!

I-I'm a bleeder!

I-I'm a bleeder!
[ Whirring ]

Spidermonkey: Spidermonkey!

Better yet...

Ultimate Spidermonkey:

Ultimate Spidermonkey:
Ultimate Spidermonkey!

Everything!

Ultimate Spidermonkey: Yeah.

Ultimate Spidermonkey: Yeah.
That's sort of the plan.

Have to do this the hard way.

Have to do this the hard way.
[ Grunts ]

Something.

Something.
Kevin: Like take bets?

Ben: [ Groans ]

You're not going anywhere.

You're not going anywhere.
Uh-oh.

Where's albedo?

Kevin: There!

Albedo: [ Grunts ]

Ben: Huh?

Albedo: The

genetic-alteration field worked,

in spite of your meddling.

I don't need an Ultimatrix

anymore.

Ben: Dude, you're cured!

That's great!

Now I can alter my DNA at will.

Ben: I'm ready for anything

you can throw at me.

Albedo: Why would I throw

anything at you?

I'm no longer trapped in your

hideous human form.

I'm free of you at last!

Kevin: Wait, you're not gonna

att*ck us?

Albedo: No.

I'm getting off this backwater

planet while the getting is

good.

With any luck, I will never see

your hideous face ag

the mirror or in person.

Ben: Still trying to catch

up.

So, you're saying that wasn't a

doomsday b*mb?

Albedo: A what?

Ben: A doomsday b*mb.

That was going to make everyone

on earth look like me?

Okay, now that I say it out

loud, it does sound kind of

stupid.

Kevin: I get it.

The thing on your chest was --

albedo: Designed to focus the

genetic-alteration field on me

specifically.

Specifically.
Ben: Of course it was.

No!

No!
It can't be!

Albedo: You imbecile!

The Ultimatrix must have

interfered with the alteration

field.

So now whatever I turn into,

I'll always change back...To

this!

It's all my fault, albedo.

I-I brought them here.

Albedo: Why would you do

that?

Back home, I'm a nothing.

But here on earth, I-I'm kind of

a celebrity.

[ Clears throat ]

At least I closely resemble a

celebrity.

Most importantly, I had friends,

especially you.

That's why I told Ben Tennyson,

so he would stop you, so you

wouldn't leave.

Albedo: I don't blame you,

Hugh.

I blame you!

You did this to me!

It's always you!

[ Roars ]

Echo echo: Echo echo!

[ Grunts ]

Echo echo: [ Pulses ]

Ah!

Echo echo: [ Grunts ]

[ Beep ]

Ultimate echo echo: Ultimate

echo echo.

By the way, I like the

sound-wave grenade you used at

the theater.

Want to see my version?

Aah!

Gwen: [ Grunts ]

Gwen: [ Grunts ]
[ Grunting ]

Albedo: [ Grunts ]

Ben: You want him?

He's all yours.

But he's not going to be very

happy when he wakes up.

That's okay.

I'll take care of him.

I'll take care of him.
He's my friend.

Friends.

Kevin: Tell me about it.

Kevin: Tell me about it.
Seriously, I-I want to hear.

Little nuts about that whole

show thing.

Kevin: A little?

Ben: Okay, a lot.

I guess if you want to be a

world-famous hero, you got to

give up some stuff -- like

privacy.

Gwen: [ Yawns ]

And sleep.

Ben: The one good thing to

come out of this is I'll never

have to hear about "Ben live"

again.

Mr. Tennyson?

Ben: Yes?

On behalf of the owners of

the Nemesis resort hotel, I'd

the Nemesis resort hotel, I'd
like to present you with this.

A summons.

We're suing you for the damage

you caused to our theater.

Ben: But -- but --

see you in court.

Ben: Is your dad home?

Ben: Is your dad home?
I think I'm gonna need a lawyer.