18x20 - You Are the Blood

[bunniefuu]

JACKSON: You all know her
as a fierce businesswoman,

as an extraordinary surgeon,

but Catherine Fox was...

so much more than that.

For starters, she was my mom.

There was no better mom.

I mean that in some
of the most surprising ways.

I mean, she would make
my Halloween costume

every year from scratch

at an old sewing machine
that her grandmother gave her.

When I'd fall and scrape my knee,

she would blow on it
when she cleaned it out

and tell me she was doing magic,

blowing the pain away, and she
said it with such conviction

that I think I was like
before I started to question it.

- CATHERINE: Ha!
- [CHUCKLES]

MEREDITH: Before the advent of surgery,

many illnesses were treated
with phlebotomy...

also known as bloodletting.

There's just no one like her...
no one pushier,

- no one nosier...
- [CHUCKLES]

...and absolutely no one more loving.

Also no one in the world who
would force me to eulogize them

while they are very much still alive.

[LAUGHS]

I love you so much, Mom.

I hope you live forever.

Oh, baby.

Oh, that was just wonderful.
Mm! [SMOOCHES]

All right, April, you're up next.

- APRIL: Wait, really?
- Mom...

It's a foolish waste
to wait till somebody's dead

to say all the nice things.

I want mine now, and I won't be
apologetic about it.

- [SIGHS]
- Don't you think it's a little morose?

It's only morose if you make it morose.

All right, well, I am here
on official business,

so I'm gonna go track down
Jamarah Blake.

- I'll see you later.
- Right.

Go save the program.

Use all your charms

and make sure you smile with those eyes.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

Those eyes have magic.

Okay, you ready?

- Oh, no, April, stay. Come on.
- What?

- I want my speech.
- Uh...

Bloodletting is the withdrawal of blood

from a patient to prevent
or cure illness and disease.

It was one of the most common
medical practices

performed by surgeons

from ancient Greece
until the late th century.

TRAVIS: Why don't more people
donate blood?

BEN: It's an excellent question.

Do they not know
it could be their family,

- their friends?
- [SIREN WAILS]

Well, have you donated this month?

I'm a gay man, Ben.

They don't want my dirty, gay blood.

Yes. It's a leftover from HIV
and all the fear about it...

I know what it's left over from,
but science has advanced.

We can test for HIV now, and yet
the guideline still remains,

which is lazy and gross.

- Yeah, it is.
- It's also stupid,

because no one rallies
like the gay men rally,

and the blood shortage
would be over in a week

if they changed the law.

We'd have dance parties
at the blood-a-thon.

[LAUGHS] I know you would.

The practice has largely been
abandoned, because we now know

that in the overwhelming
majority of cases,

the use of bloodletting
is harmful to patients.

And yet, we did it
as a standard medical practice

for over , years.

It wasn't a blip in the history
of medicine. It was an era.

This liver is just going to
continue to ooze...

we need at least six more units here.

It's coming.

- Okay.
- [DOOR OPENS]

Dr. Grey.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Where's the blood?

There was an accident.

What? Wait, g-go back down to the pit.

You tell Owen Hunt that I said

my OR is in line in front of his.

I don't care what trauma he has.

Dr. Grey, there was an accident
with the blood.

- What?
- What does that mean?

The transport vehicle
spun out in the rain.

The blood's in a puddle
all over Henderson Avenue.

♪

So we gotta get her to the ICU, right?

I mean, we can't leave her open.
She's losing fluids.

We can't keep giving her saline...

it's just diluting her.

I mean, y-you want to move her?

Yes. We have more control in the ICU,

so let's just pack her

and do the best we can to bridge
it until some blood arrives.

Okay. If anybody up there
has not given blood yet,

now would be a good time.

♪ How to save a life ♪

That's one of us down there.

Where's your loyalty?

RICHARD: This is your arena.

How well you play... that's up to you.

[THUNDER RUMBLES, RAIN PATTERING]

[VOICE BREAKING]
I have a blood shortage,

and there are dozens of bags of blood

spilled on [CHUCKLING] the street.

I have a physician shortage,

and then you two... you two...

I had one thing solved,

and then you just spilled it
in the street.

Meanwhile, the accreditation
council is here.

And who the hell's covering the pit?

Kepner, I need you to cover the pit.

Hi. I don't work here.

- I came for coffee.
- Take it to go.

What, you want cream?

- Sugar?
- Um...

- Hey, guys. [CHUCKLES]
- Hey.

Everything okay?

It is now that you are covering the pit.

Okay, if you...

- Yep. All right.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mnh.

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

And don't sign him up for baseball

just because I played baseball.

What if he likes baseball?

Just let him be him.

Okay.

What else?

You will be the most excellent mother.

How you feeling, Simon?

Like there's too many doctors
in here for a dying man

in a physician shortage.

Except there's also a blood shortage.

All of our surgeries got canceled.

Everyone loves you, babe,
you just have to deal with...

[GASPS] Oh! [EXHALES SHARPLY]

Baby? Kristen?

Ow! Ooh, ooh.

Oh, you think it's Braxton Hicks again?

[GROANS] No, these are worse.

- Can I?
- Uh-huh.

I'll page OB.

- Dr. Wilson... Call... Call Dr. Wilson.
- Okay.

Maybe they're real?

Oh, please, God, let these be real.

[GROANING]

[SIGHS]

[SIRENS WAILING, HORN HONKS]

[BRAKES SCREECH]

[WAILING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE,
HORN HONKS]

Kepner, what are you doing here?

Uh, long story. What do we got?

units of blood.

So they got you working the pit, huh?

A few hours, I hope.

Honestly, I don't know what's going on.

Your wife started yelling at me,
and I'm like Pavlov's dog.

Bailey yells, and I snap to attention.

Well, a blood shortage
is what's going on.

Well, yeah, there's
a nationwide blood shortage

since they closed the mobile
clinics in the pandemic.

But I'm just saying, right now,

today, Grey-Sloan is experiencing

an acute blood shortage.

And all the blood that was supposed to

replenish the stores was in an accident.

Any injured drivers?

Yeah, we went them to Seattle Pres.

Why?

Because you don't have
the blood to treat them.

You just brought me units.

It's not enough. Look, Kepler, I...

[CHUCKLES] Look, I know
you don't really work here,

but you're gonna
have to close to trauma.

♪

[SIGHS] Bailey's definitely
gonna yell about that.

And the Fox Foundation is so
committed to revitalizing

the residency program that we're
doubling our funding in both

the resident wellness program
and the skills lab,

and we're recruiting specialized
personnel to assure its success.

Coming through!

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Zemel to the OR.

Dr. Lita Zemel to the OR.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Ms. Blake, any chance you want to share

what it is you're thinking here?

Meredith Grey is leaving Grey-Sloan.

[TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]

Well, she's indicated that after, uh,

we get back on our feet,

- she has a desire to...
- No, no.

- A plan.
- Yes.

She said she, uh,
does have plans to leave.

Mm. And I only know that

because I overheard it from a resident.

So what I was thinking
while you were talking

is that I wonder what else
is being kept hidden from me.

What I was thinking is that this man,

he wears a suit well
and talks a real good game,

but what else is he not saying?

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Rose to the NICU.

Dr. Rose to the NICU.

These burn pit victims...

some of them were just kids
when they signed up.

Now they're dying in their s
with lungs so scarred

they don't even look like lungs.

Come on, Bailey, just let us go, please.

- I can't.
- He will go to jail.

- [SIGHS]
- Not my problem.

It's not my doing.

What if this was Ben?

Ben would never.

Are you sure?

Ben isn't much of
a rule-follower, as I recall.

He may not be a rule-follower,

but he is not a law-breaker!

Do you really believe that

these soldiers should be left alone

to die a slow
and brutally painful death?

They're bankrupting
their families along the way.

You work to change the law!
You do not break the law!

We are working to change
the laws, Bailey.

Bailey...

we have been on the front lines.

We know what
these soldiers have survived

and what they've sacrificed.

Their lungs are full
of scar tissue caused

by short-sighted decisions
made by our U.S. m*llitary.

I had to fight for them.

I had to.

♪

[SIREN WAILS]

♪

WOMAN ON P.A.:
Dr. Dugan to Labor & Delivery.

Dr. Paulette Dugan to Labor & Delivery.

- [LAUGHS]
- APRIL: [GASPS] Hi!

I read your article.

You are such a rock star.

- Thank you.
- Oh!

I saw that you were covering the pit.

I wanted to see if you needed
extra hands.

Yeah, well, I probably would have

if we hadn't closed to trauma.

- Owen must be losing his mind.
- [SIGHS]

Do y... Do you have
an update on Catherine?

No, I'm scheduled to talk
to her oncologist later today.

Well, keep me company.

Tell me how you are.

- Oh.
- I'm so sorry. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, no. Wha...

[SNIFFLES]

[LAUGHS] This keeps happening.

I'm... [SNIFFLES]

I'm going through a breakup,
and [LAUGHS]

I just cannot seem to shove it down.

You fell in love?

No.

No, because I have fallen in
love so many time in my life,

and it feels like a roller coaster.

It feels thrilling and consuming
and sickening and desperate,

and this did not feel like that.

This... I think I felt, um, seen?

I felt known.

And, um, I didn't fall in love...

I-I kind of slid into it,

um, like two puzzle pieces
that just kind of fit.

So what happened?

They don't want what I want.

And they... they don't want what I have.

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

They don't want kids.

- [SNIFFLES]
- Are you sure it's over?

It feels pretty over.

I've been where you are.

[SNIFFLES]

But never say never.

- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
- Hm?

- Sometimes love comes back around.
- [CHUCKLES]

[SNIFFLES]

- [MONITOR BEEPING]
- Okay. We got FFP here.

It's not blood, but it should
help with her coagulopathy.

We can use plasma expanders, too.

- Yeah.
- Why did we do this?

We knew there was a blood shortage.

Why did we do this today?

MEREDITH: We did it because the tumor

is wrapped around the vasculature

of her intestines and her liver.

If we did not take it out,

she could die from obstruction
or catastrophic GI bleeding.

Do you understand?

♪

You did what?

MEREDITH: Took the tumor out.

Why the hell would you do that?

I expressly told you no!

You expressly told me you did
not want to participate.

I am the chief of general.

I made a call to do the surgery today.

Yeah, right, because no one's
opinion matters but yours.

Dr. Webber, this is
really not the time...

And as always,
it's all about Meredith Grey

and what she wants,

with no thought to
the consequences it may have.

The consequences are that
this woman would have d*ed.

Yeah, and you may have just
k*lled the residency program

along with her, which is what
you wanted all along, right?

To ensure that this place
would go up in flames

as you walked out,
to burn it down behind you?

Do you have any idea what you've done?

I have to investigate
what's going on here.

Congratulations, Meredith.

Ellis would finally be proud of you.

♪

Listen to me, Meredith.

Anyone can fall in love
and be blindly happy,

but not everyone can pick up
a scalpel and save a life.

The tumor had to come out.

It is k*lling her.

It had to come out, and you know it did.

Understood.

JO: And the pain feels like cramps?

[SIGHS] Uh, it's... Aaah, it's bad.

I don't know. It...
It feels like pain. [CHUCKLES]

Okay. But the pain is coming
and going like contractions?

Yes! Sort of, uh, I don't know.

It's not completely going away.

WOMAN ON P.A.:
Dr. Baiocco to Cardiology.

JO: Okay, I need to take you
to the OB floor...

...to do a proper exam
and to check on the baby.

You think there's something
wrong with the baby?

- Kristen, try not to panic.
- I do, though.

Aah!

I do panic, and trying not
to panic doesn't usually work.

- Hey, look at me.
- [SIGHS]

Look at me. Breathe.

In, out.

I love you.

Go with Dr. Wilson.

I don't want to leave you, though...

- Aah! Oh!
- [LIQUID RUSHING]

Oh, my God. We need a gurney in here!

LEVI: I got it!

- Okay, okay.
- Oh, my God.

What's happening?

Um, it could be a placental abruption.

- But we need to go now.
- [GROANS]

Are we gonna take out the baby?

It looks like it.

Okay, page Carina DeLuca.

She's in surgery. I saw her...
she just went in.

Okay, I need to stop the
bleeding and deliver the baby,

so I need hands.

- I'll come. I'll help.
- Schmitt, we need blood, stat.

- What is your...
- B negative!

- Okay, go.
- Yeah. Got it.

Simon, stay alive.

Stay alive so you can meet him.

- Tell Dr. Lincoln to keep him alive.
- Okay.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[SCREAMING]

Hey! Oh, okay. I called ahead,

and we have two units of B neg
on the way to OR .

Okay. We need at least four!

I know!

We've got Kristen, Schmitt.

- Go solve this!
- How?!

Think on your feet, Schmitt!

That's the job.

Okay, Kristen, we're almost there.

[SCREAMING]

♪

Okay. Okay.

- Watch out, watch out!
- Oh! Ah.

A placental abruption.

How bad is that?

Honestly, it can be very dangerous,

but she is in the best of hands here.

- And the baby?
- They will do everything they can

to keep them both safe.

- [PANTING]
- Schmitt, what, what?

Blood, blood.

[PANTING]

Take it.

No, we... we need this blood.

They both have the same blood type.

They're both B negative.

Take it. Take it to my wife.

No, we need some
of this blood for the...

No, take it all to my wife.

Save my wife.

I ca...

- Uh, alright, alright.
- Yeah, yeah.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Excuse me, sorry!

Hey, Schmitt!

Kristen's having an abruption.

Simon, if she had an abruption,

that means they're delivering the baby.

It will only take a few minutes.

Take me off this machine.

Give all my blood to my wife.

Save my wife.

Save my child.

I'm a dead man.

If you unplug that machine, I'm gone.

Save them.

Please.

♪

RICHARD: Ashes to ashes.

You grew up.
It's awful being a grown-up.

- NICK: Pentaspan is running.
- ELLIS: I wish I could go back.

The labs... they don't
look great, though.

I'd do everything so differently.

[SIGHS] She told me not to come here.

Ellis.

You know, she wasn't completely
lucid all the time,

but one time, I distinctly
remember her telling me...

ELLIS: It's just blood.

- ..."Do not go there."
- Why?

She didn't believe Richard Webber had

what it took to teach me.

- RICHARD: That's the job.
- That's the job.

[VOICE BREAKING] To be
what she expected me to be.

ELLIS: I raised you to be
an extraordinary human being!

You're no more than ordinary!
What happened to you?

And you didn't listen to her.

This may be surprising
to you, Dr. Marsh,

but I do not love being told what to do.

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

I also think she just didn't
want me to find out

about her dirty laundry.

You know, Meredith, what...
what Richard said...

Is not true.

♪

We could have waited
to do the surgery on Cora.

You... You pushed for us to do it today.

So you think I'm sabotaging
the program, too?

No.

Do you think I'm arrogant?

No, the opposite.

I-I-I think, if anything,

you're feeling insecure
about leaving, so...

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Crash cart. She's coding.

♪

MAN ON P.A.: Dr. Cantor to Oncology.

Dr. Cantor to Oncology.

Dr. Bailey, I have been calling and...

I'm aware.

I, uh... We had an unexpected...

It's been a bit of a day.

Well, are you aware that
your ER has closed to trauma?

I was not aware.

But I'm not surprised.

[SIGHS] Dr. Bailey...

Uh, Ms. Blake, we... we need

a few minutes here, please.

[SIGHS]

I will wait in your office.

Better yet, we're having a blood drive.

I invite you to donate while you wait.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

♪

[CRYING] The world is broken.

The world is broken in
a thousand different ways

that I cannot fix.

[SIGHS]

- I have to call the police...
- [SIGHS]

...because if I don't,
I could go to jail, too,

and that's not happening.

- Bailey...
- I have to call the police,

but I have to manage a life-threatening

blood shortage first...

and that could take me a few hours.

In the meantime,
I'll accept your resignations,

and I...

♪

...I wish you both the best of luck.

[FOOTSTEPS DEPART]

- [SNIFFLES]
- [DOOR OPENS]

♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

Okay, you get the kids. I'll run
home, and I'll pack what I can.

No, no. We don't have time.

Bailey might be buying us more time,

but we don't even know if
John's called the police or not.

We have to go, and we have
to go right now.

Okay.

- I'll get Amelia to get the kids, okay?
- Okay.

Let's go.

♪

♪

♪

[RAIN PATTERING]

Here we go.

[DOOR OPENS]

I heard there was a preemptive memorial?

Oh, it was really beautiful.

It made me want to do something bigger,

like a dinner or something.

Lord, if there's one thing
my wife does well,

it's take compliments.

[LAUGHTER]

In that case, I have bad news.

I just spoke with your oncologist,

and there is no need
for a preemptive memorial,

because your tumor is responding...

- Oh.
- ...to the chemo trial.

- [LAUGHING]
- So, Catherine,

for the moment,
you are living with cancer

rather than dying from it.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, to hell with it.

I'll still give that dinner party.

Oh! [LAUGHS]

Dr. Shepherd, get your speech ready.

We have a lot to celebrate.

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Oh, baby, did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

Do you have to turn it off now?

No, the surgeon can continue to work,

but without fresh blood products,

there's a much higher chance
of you bleeding or clotting.

But there's a chance?

There's a chance I'll meet him?

[MONITOR BEEPING]

There's a chance.

Simon...

it has been a tremendous
privilege to be your doctor.

It's been a gift to witness
your love story.

I never imagined a great love
in my life.

I always pictured my child,
but never my wife,

and then I met Kristen,
and she changed me.

She noticed every little thing
about me...

my fear, my shame, my doubt.

She pulled all the secrets out of me,

and she held them to the light.

She loved me.

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

And little by little...

she showed me how to love myself.

And if that is not a life well lived...

I don't know what is.

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

Tell her that, will you?

♪

[SIGHS]

♪

♪

[FLATLINE]

Let's push another amp of epi.

No, it's been too long.

[DISTORTED] It's been too long.

- [FLATLINE]
- She's not oxygenating.

You've been running the same code,
for half an hour.

- She's in total organ failure.
- She's in DIC.

Get me blood.

Come on, Cora.

Come on, Cora!

Sally needs you!

Do you understand?

I can't live without you!

Stay awake!

Cora!

- Come on, don't leave us.
- Meredith.

You stay awake!

Cora!

Come on, please.

Hold on, okay?

- I love you! [SNIFFLES]
- Meredith.

- ♪ All of these lines across my face ♪
- Meredith.

- Please don't die!
- Get out of here, Meredith.

[FLATLINE]

♪ Tell you the story of who I am ♪

Okay, here he is. Take him.

- [BABY CRYING]
- ♪ So many stories of where I've been ♪

Her BP is tanking. We need more blood!

That's the last bag of B negative.

Alright. Call for some crash blood.

That's the last bag, Dr. Pierce.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Okay. I have to clamp
her uterine arteries.

I have to take the uterus.

Dr. Pierce, can you suction

- so I can see better?
- You got it.

♪ When you've got no one
to tell them to ♪

WINSTON: Dr. Wilson.

Not now!

I have blood. B negative, one bag.

- Hang it!
- [RAPID BEEPING CONTINUES]

Okay. Help me isolate the...

♪ That I was made for you ♪

We cannot lose her.

I need to take the baby to Simon.

Not yet!

Push that unit as fast as you can.

♪ I climbed across the mountain tops ♪

♪ I swam all across the ocean blue ♪

Okay, now the clamp.

♪ I crossed all the lines
and I broke all the rules ♪

Okay. Get more pressers if we have to.

[BABY CRIES]

♪ But I broke them all for you ♪

MAN: Okay, he's ready.

Okay, you can take him. Be careful.

DOCTOR: I got control of the vessels.

Now let's clamp the cardinal ligaments.

♪ Was flat broke ♪

♪ You made me feel
like a million bucks ♪

♪ You do ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

Is he here?

Not yet.

♪

♪

[FLATLINE]

♪

Meredith, that's it.

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪

Derek, you go.

We'll be fine.

[SIGHS]

[FLATLINE CONTINUES]

♪

Time of death, : .

[GLOVES SNAP]

♪

♪ You see the smile that's on my mouth ♪

♪ It's hiding the words
that won't come out ♪

♪ And all of my friends
who think I'm blessed ♪

♪ They don't know my head's a mess ♪

LINK: Simon!

Simon. Simon, he's here.

♪ No, they don't know who I really am ♪

- Simon.
- [BABY COOS]

♪ And they don't know what
I've been through like you do ♪

♪ No, I was made for you ♪

[BABY COOS]

♪

Hello forever.

♪ All of these lines across my face ♪

- ♪ They tell you the ♪
- [SMOOCH ECHOES]

♪ story of who I am ♪

♪ So many stories of where I've been ♪

♪ And how I got to where I am ♪

[FLATLINE]

♪ But these stories
don't mean anything ♪

♪ When you've got no one
to tell them to ♪

[BABY FUSSES]

♪ It's true ♪

[FLATLINE CONTINUES]

♪ I was made for you ♪

♪

♪ Oh, yeah, well, it's true ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Teddy.

Hey, guys.

AMELIA: I don't think these two
are allowed in here.

- TEDDY: No, they're not.
- OWEN: Thank you.

You want to tell me what's going on?

No. We can't.

Seriously?

You guys are scaring me.
Where are you going?

[SIGHS] Amelia, please
don't ask questions.

Have you met me? I'm asking questions.

- Where are we going, Papa?
- [SIGHS]

We're... We're going on a trip,
sweetheart.

Is it... Is it your mom? Is it Megan?

Everybody's fine.
We just... We need to go.

The program is being assessed today!

Amelia, please, let us go.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- Come on, baby. Come on.

I can't lose you!

Whatever is going on here, I...
I cannot lose you.

[VOICE BREAKING] Please just
tell me where you are going.

Amelia, we will call soon.
I promise, okay?

- Come on, let's go. Let's go, guys.
- Everybody, up, up, up.

Run, run, run.
We gotta go. We're in a rush.

That's so good. Great job. Great job.

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

[SIGHS]

♪

♪ And now the loops are reminiscing ♪

♪ Recurring dreams of minor chords ♪

Sally.

I'm Dr. Grey.

♪ Metered time ♪

♪ Muted chimes find the b*at ♪

Sally, this doctor wants to talk to you.

♪ And in the pulse,
there lies conviction ♪

[SIGHS] I'm Dr. Grey.

I was your niece's surgeon today.

I'm so sorry.

♪ A steady push and pull routine ♪

Cora went into organ failure
and did not make it.

We did everything we could.

♪ High notes fell into reach ♪

Who?

Cora, your niece.

♪

- Who?
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]

- Who?
- This is your family.

I used to be a doctor, I think.

You were a doctor, Mom.
You were a surgeon.

The carousel never stops turning.

I can't get off.

♪

LEVI: We put out the call
on social media.

♪ And it's not a love, it's not a love ♪

I hate this hateful, stupid rule,

and I think I might sue the FDA
to get it changed.

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

But in the meantime,
we called our friends.

Our sexless friends.

NICO: We're doing our part.

♪

I will fight this hateful,
stupid rule with you, Schmitt.

♪

- Yes, queen.
- [SNAPS FINGERS]

[CHUCKLES]

♪

[BABY COOS]

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

[CHUCKLES]

[SNIFFLES, CRYING]

♪

Ohh. Your daddy loved you.

♪ And it's not a love,
it's a not a love ♪

♪ It's not a love,
it's not a love song ♪

He loved you beyond the beyond.

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

♪

[CRYING CONTINUES]

♪ It's not a love, it's not a love ♪

♪ It's not a love,
it's not a love song ♪

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

♪ It's not a love, it's not
a love, it's not a love song ♪

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

AMELIA: Whew!

Oh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh. Hey.

Do you know what's going on
with Owen and Teddy?

They okay?

[SIGHS] Yeah.
I... Maybe. I-I don't know.

Physically, they seem okay.

Link, I'm sorry.

I broke your heart.

And you felt blindsided.

And I had forgotten exactly
how badly that hurts.

If I had remembered...

I would have handled things
a little differently.

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

I never would have had a kid.

I'm too cynical
and the world is too dark.

But you gave me Scout.

And my heart cracked open

and my world got a little lighter.

Mm.

♪

You gave me a son.

♪

And I get to be his dad.

♪

So I don't hate you.

I love you.

Just... not in the painful way anymore.

♪

[SIGHS]

Oh.

I heard about what happened
to your blood.

It's unimaginable.

Yeah, but the, um, residents
have organized a blood drive

- on their social media, so...
- Oh.

[CLEARS THROAT]
It's having some success,

even despite the rain.

That generation...
they just might save us all.

[CHUCKLES] They just might.

You should, um, also know

that my head of trauma

and my, uh, co-chief of cardio

have tendered their resignation,

but I will have candidates lined up.

[CLEARS THROAT] Dr. Grey.

Yeah, so, she is also leaving.

Um, she gave her notice,
and she'll be hard to replace,

but we [CHUCKLES] we will persevere.

Yeah, well, Dr. Grey, she performed

an unnecessary,
very bloody operation today.

She went against the orders

of the Fox Foundation's
chief medical officer.

So while your residents are scrambling

to donate and gather blood,

Dr. Grey is wasting it.

Like I said, she's leaving.

Okay, Dr. Bailey, your program
has been under investigation

due to anonymous complaints
about the Webber Method.

- Right.
- Now, Dr. Webber

tried to reinvent the wheel,

- which you objected to initially...
- Right. Yes.

- ...and shut down ultimately.
- Yes.

I've seen this from time to
time, in programs where people

have just been working together
for too long.

They start to feel like family,

and sometimes
it's a dysfunctional family,

a family where it's just unclear
as to who is in charge.

Richard Webber doesn't respect
your authority over him,

Dr. Grey doesn't respect
his authority over her,

and rules get broken,
and it just gets messy.

And it's even messier
when students are involved.

But our residents, they were
excited by the Webber Method.

- So...
- Okay. Dr. Bailey, I am sorry.

I am sorry, but I am going to
have to pull...

Wait, wait, hold...

...your general surgery residency
accreditation.

No. N... Do not do that... Do not do...

Your residents will be orphaned,
but I promise you,

we will do our very best to see

that they land on their feet
somewhere else

while you... turn this program around.

Recalibrate. Rebuild.

Just... start over.

♪

♪

♪

BAILEY: I have five rules.
Memorize them.

Rule number one...
don't bother sucking up.

I already hate you.
That's not gonna change.

♪ Where do you go
with your broken heart in tow? ♪

♪ And what do you do
with the left over you? ♪

RICHARD: The seven years you spend here

as a surgical resident will be
the best and worst of your life.

BAILEY: Go, work, save some lives.

♪ And how do you know when to let go? ♪

GEORGE: Who here feels like they
have no idea what they're doing?

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Look me in the eye ♪

♪ And tell me
you don't find me attractive ♪

♪ Look me in the heart
and tell me you won't go ♪

MEREDITH: You practice on cadavers...

♪ Look me in the eye and promise
no love's like our love ♪

...you observe,

and you think you know
what you're gonna feel like

standing over that table,
but... that was such a high.

♪ It's love that leaves and breaks ♪

♪ The seal of always thinking
you would be ♪

♪ Real happy and healthy,
strong and calm ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪

[RAIN PATTERING]

♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪

MEREDITH: For decades,
many doctors were convinced

that bloodletting was harming
more than it helped.

WINSTON: I never said
"I love you" to anyone

before I said it to you.

♪

My parents weren't big on those words.

When I heard them in movies,

they always sounded like lies to me.

Like frosting if frosting made a sound.

I didn't say "I love you" lightly,

and I didn't propose to you lightly.

It takes more time for me
to open all the way up.

It takes time for me, too.

I... love my sisters,

and they are my sisters.

I know.

But I grew up an only child.

I used to whisper my secrets
to myself in the dark.

It takes a lot for me to tell
my secrets to anyone else.

♪

[SIGHS]

I don't think we got married too early.

I just think we need to
keep learning each other.

We have to protect this love, Maggie,

because love like this doesn't
come along all the time.

♪ The seal of always thinking... ♪

It doesn't always stay.

♪ ...you would be ♪

♪ Real happy and healthy,
strong and calm ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

[CHILD SHOUTS]

But just as many were convinced
that it was the only cure.

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪ Where does the good go? ♪

♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

I have the best idea.

Yeah?

Hey, what's up, little guy?

You and Scout come over

and we watch "Encanto" for the th time

because you're my best friend...

and my favorite person

and everything
is so screwed up in this world

that I need... I need us not to be.

Doctors, like most human
beings, are risk-averse.

I can accept that invitation.

But...

I'm singing along to "Encanto."

[LAUGHING] Shut up.

[LAUGHING] Top of my lungs,
every single word.

No. [LAUGHS]

- Right, Scout?
- No.

We prefer the safety of what we know

over the thrill of new innovations.

What do you mean, they're
traveling? Are they retiring?

No, they're taking a sabbatical.

I think they're gonna go
see the Great Pyramids.

Well, Richard Webber
is the residency program,

and it just got shut down,
so then who will rebuild it?

I think they're hoping that
I'll run the foundation

and you and Bailey
will salvage the program.

I've already given my notice.

Mm. And I'm asking you to take it back.

No.

Look, I'm not asking you
to stay forever.

I'm asking you to stay for now.

You can leave and I can't?

Because my name's not
Meredith Grey, and I didn't...

Look, that article you just
published was noisy, okay?

And if you leave now, then we're sunk.

It's your fame, your reputation.
That's how we rebuild.

I don't owe you that, and I
resent you for asking it of me.

Do you want this place to just
crumble completely, Mer?

Alright? It can't not exist.

It's your name on the building.

- That's Lexie's name.
- Exactly.

It's a standing tribute
to everything and everyone

who's ever trained here.

But, I mean, if I lose you
and Richard at the same time,

that sends a signal to the world

that there's nothing here worth saving.

BAILEY: Dr. Grey.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

Hi. What's this?

Keys to the chief's office.

You broke it, you bought it.

I have to protect my health
and my sanity first, so...

I quit.

I'm done.

No notice. [CHUCKLES]

Pru and I have cookies to make.

- Cookies!
- [CHUCKLING] Yes, baby girl.

You heard me right.

Cookies. Yeah.

Surgeons and doctors, as a general rule,

like to know for sure that we are right

before we make a move.

Well, now you really can't leave.

Jackson... I'm offering you % more

than whatever they'll give you
in Minnesota, okay?

And the title chief of surgery.

Bailey is upset. She will be back.

Interim chief of surgery, then.

Hey, Meredith.

[SIGHS]

Uh, okay. Everyone's weird today.

Um, so, she's out.

Your mother gave her all the cake.

You ready to go?

You look like you need some time
to think it over.

Talk tomorrow?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Hell of a day.
- Hell of a day.

And so, for us, change requires
incontrovertible proof,

which is not always easy to come by.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- [SIGHS]

Your mom really does have nine lives.

[CHUCKLES] More like .

♪

[SIGHS]

♪ We'll do it all ♪

♪

♪ Everything ♪

It has been theorized
that surgery itself

is just an era that will pass.

[KEYS JINGLING]

♪

♪ We don't need ♪

I can't sleep.

♪ Anything ♪

I can't sleep.

♪ Or anyone ♪

♪

♪ If I lay here ♪

♪

♪ If I just lay here ♪

♪ Would you lie with me
and just forget the world? ♪

But that's a long way away.

♪ Forget what we're told ♪

And in the meantime,
there are eras within eras.

He's very dreamy, but he is not the sun.

- You are.
- [DOOR OPENS]

We discover new science,

we posit, prove new theories.

♪

[SIGHS]

♪

You should go.

♪

I should go where?

You should go back to Minnesota.

That's where your life is.

- My life is here.
- I see.

I do not think you intentionally
sabotaged this program.

- That's not what I was saying.
- What were you saying?

That I unintentionally
sabotaged the program?

No.

That I'm so unconscious that
I have no idea

- what drives me?
- [SIGHS]

Or were you saying
I don't know what I want?

I don't know what I want to the degree

that I risked a woman's life,
that I ended it?

No.

I'm saying you've spent your
entire adult life in one place,

and that makes it
hard to leave... it does.

And sometimes... we all don't
know what's driving us, okay?

Sometimes I feel .

Sometimes I feel .

We all have unpacked issues.
We all have trauma.

And from what I understand,

you have more than your fair share.

I'm saying it's hard to leave, Meredith.

It's hard. It's hard to leave. It is.

And what we did today,
that made it harder.

I don't think those two things
are entirely unrelated.

But if you saw all of that,
tell me why you didn't stop me.

Tell me why you didn't say something.

I saw what I saw,

and I have enough humility
and enough respect

to allow for the possibility
that I was wrong.

Because you are Meredith Grey

and you do not like
being told what to do.

♪ If I just lay here ♪

♪ Would you lie with me
and just forget the world? ♪

[CRYING] You really just should go.

Just go. Just go back to Minnesota.

I have a lot of work to do here.

♪ Forget what we're told ♪

And then we bang our heads
against the wall,

trying to convince ourselves to
actually change our practices

in line with what we know.

♪ Show me a garden
that's bursting into life ♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪

♪

♪ All that I am ♪

♪

♪ All that I ever was ♪

♪ Just know that these things ♪

♪ Will never change for us at all ♪

♪ If I lay here ♪

♪

♪ If I just lay here ♪

Because the end of an era...

Nick!

Nick?

...is easier said than done.

♪ Just forget the world ♪

♪

♪

♪