07x03 - Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy/The Inside Job

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

All the way from the bakery.

But it'll be all worth it

when I finally get my hands on a krabby Patty.

- Here we go.

- Perfect.

He's headed for the front door.

Now's the time to make my exit.

- Here ya go, Sandy.

A special krabby Patty for a special friend.

- Why, thanks, Spongebob.

I sure am obliged.

I love these things,

but it's always a little tricky eatin' one.

Pardon me.

- Oh, no.

What's happening?

- Whoa!

Ooh!

- Ewww.

No water.

Can't breathe.

Time to get this stinky thing off

boy, that's ripe.

What's going on?

Where am I?

- What in Neptune's ocean is that repulsive thing?

Nothin' like a hot shower

to make a squirrel feel like a new woman.

- Sandy cheeks?

But where's her fur?

Wow!

Wait a minute...

That's it!

I think I've just found out

how to get the krabby Patty formula

once and for all.

- Hope you like long showers, squirrel.

- Was there an accident? What is that?

- Our ticket to the krabby Patty formula,

that's what that is.

- Oh, no. You can't be serious.

- As serious as a shark att*ck.

Now it's time to ring out my stinky fur coat.

What in tarnation?

Maybe I left it outside.

I'm locked in!!

Hi-ya!

Some low-life varmint stole my things

and broke into my home.

My home!

I'm gonna get that son of a guitar picker!

- Okay, Karen, wish me luck!

- Repulsive.

This is gonna work like a charm.

Honk!

Watch where you're standing, coral brains.

- Sandy?

You don't look so good.

Hey, you got to stop eating at the chum bucket.

That stuff will rot your insides.

- Lies, lies!

The chum bucket will always be my favorite restaurant!

- Sandy, you don't sound like yourself.

No, Sandy is herself.

No reason to be suspicious in any way, y'all.

- Well, as long as there's no reason to be suspicious.

- Huh, that was close.

I got to perfect that Texas drawl.

Yee-haw.

Yee-haw, yee-haw, yee-haw.

Crash!

Howdy, partner.

Smash!

- Sandy, you're back.

- Yep, that krabby Patty was so darn good,

I got to see how you make one.

- Huh, say, Sandy, you look different.

- Uh, what're y'all talking about, Spongebob?

It's yer ole pal in the living fur.

- Yeah, but something about you is different.

I just can't put my finger on it.

- Please don't put your finger on it.

- I got it!

You're not wearing your space suit and helmet!

Uh, yeah.

That's, uh...

Cause, uh...

I just breathe underwater now.

It's as simple as that.

- Let's get cookin'!

The gooey freshness that is the krabby Patty Patty.

- Let me stop you there, Squarepants.

I'd be much obliged to know

how y'all make one of them there patties.

No can do, buddy.

That would require revealing the secret formula,

and that is explicitly forbidden

as per my current labor contract.

- Yeah, but this is yer old buddy Sandy cheeks.

Why, you and me are as closer 'n two catfish in a skillet.

- Ah, Sandy,

section . - b

specifically prohibits the disclosure

of the secret formula to friends,

even when those friends are quote:

"Closer 'n two catfish in a skillet."

- Curse you, krabs!

- But I can show you all the other ins and outs

of making a steamy krabby Patty.

First, I make sure I'm at the comfortable

grilling temperature of degrees.

And now we are guh-rilling.

- And approximately how long do you cook a Patty?

- A krabby Patty is cooked

for exactly seconds on each side.

- seconds.

I can't believe I'm getting all this

straight from the source.

How could this get any easier?

- I'm puttin' the secret krabby Patty formula

out in plain sight.

- Yee-haw!

- Yeah, anyway...

I'm gonna leave it out here while I clean out the safe.

Don't let it out of your sight, boy-o.

- You can always count on me, Mr. K.

- Oh-ho, man!

That secret formula is as good as mine.

- The no-good who nabbed my pelt surely came here.

Probably wanted to cash it in

on the bikini bottom black market.

Well, not if I catch that varmint first.

You, ya seen anybody in these parts

haulin' a fur pelt?

Look it, a naked chipmunk.

- Chipmunk?

What is so funny about getting my fur stole?

- Aren't you ashamed of having your pink rat flesh exposed?

Yeah.

- With this much attention, that no-good fur thief

will see me comin' a mile away.

I best find somethin' to cover my hind end.

Time to go catch me some scum.

- Now that we're grillin', we can work on the fixings.

See, there are two patties here.

But before we get into slicing and dicing

we always start with the washing.

We'll begin with the seaweed.

- Okay, I'll stand on that side for a better view.

- Okeydokey, but pay close attention,

for cleanliness is the public's last defense

against a life of horrible disease.

- There it is.

- Always ensure that your brush is adequately lathered.

Then thoroughly clean the surface...

Always making sure to get both sides.

- That's nice.

That's interesting.

Almost there.

- Then lay it down onto the drying rack

and we'll engage our drying phase, hmm.

Sandy!

- What? Nothing.

- Remember, never overdry.

Otherwise, the seaweed becomes brittle and cracks.

- That dastardly rustler's got to be

somewhere in these parts.

- Hey look, a hairless goat.

- Steady, steady.

Nice.

Oh, you're off-center by . millimeters.

Mmmph, try it again, Sandy.

- Aagh!

This is getting so tedious.

Maybe you should demonstrate a few more times

so I can get the hang of it.

- Orwe could address your problem areas directly.

Are you struggling with the final wrist flick?

Or is your difficulty with the initial transfer move?

- Gaaah!

I'm tired of running.

Time to take a stand.

A nudist ferret.

- Get in the car, kids.

- It's not my fault.

I--

- get out of here.

- Unbelievable.

- I better go underground.

What am I gonna do?

If I'm ever gonna catch this thug,

I'm gonna need some help.

- Oh, still off by thatmuch.

Try it again.

- Ooh, try again.

Mm, try again.

Oh, try again.

Oh, try again.

Oh, try again.

- Aaargh!

You try it again!

I'm makin' my move.

It's finally mine!

Time to kick this baby into four-claw drive.

- Wait, Sandy.

We can work this out!

- My pelt!

- Mister Krabs!

Sandy's makin' off with the formula!

Sandy, you're naked,

and you don't have any clothes on.

- Unhand my pelt, you unknown varmint!

- Only from my cold, dead feelers.

- Plankton!

I should have known this was your doin'.

Now feel this!

Hi-ya!

Pwaa!

Crash!

Got ya!

And now for the appropriate punishment for a no-good,

yella belly like yourself.

- My eye!

This condiment is highly irritating to my eye.

- Oh, thank you, Sandy.

Thank you, Sandy.

- Uh, sure, Mister Krabs.

- We'll take that sicko off your hands.

- Cops, thank goodness you're here.

Take the sicko away!

- Actually, we're referring to you, ma'am.

Public nudity is against the law in this county.

But don't fret.

You'll look just fine in prison orange.

- Eh, that's the life

- Plankton!

- Hey, I was watching that.

- And I'm tired of watching you sit around all day.

Admit it, the chum bucket is a total failure.

- It is not!

Business is just slow.

- Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.

If you'd take my advice,

the krabby Patty recipe would be yours.

You?

You're just a computer.

I'm the evil genius around here.

- This is it, son, the chum bucket.

- Looks like this failure has a customer.

Hello.

Are you lost?

- No, we're not lost.

I promised my boy I'd take him to the chum bucket today.

- Really?

- Wow, look at that order window!

It's completely covered in grime and filth.

- Cool.

Smell that air!

It makes me want to hurl.

I think the chum bucket is the high point of our tour.

- Your tour?

- That's right.

We're visiting the most disgusting places

in bikini bottom.

And so far, you're number one.

Farewell, you filthy little fella.

What do ya say we try the city dump next?

- Oh, boy.

- So how'd it go?

- You're right.

I'm such a failure.

- Aww. So, do you give up?

- Yes. - You'll do what I tell you now?

- Yes. - Here's all you have to do.

You want the Patty recipe, then go to the man who wrote it.

Eugene krabs.

- Right.

Why didn't I think of that before?

- With my mind connector,

you'll be able to read krabs' mind,

transferring the recipe

directly into your teeny, tiny, little brain.

- Wow, that's a pretty good idea.

Whoa!

Um, k-Karen?

Whoa!

- Hold still.

- Mmph!

- You'll need this.

- And just how am I supposed to attach it to krabs' brain?

- Leave that to me, hon.

Thwump!

Prepare for launch.

Target in range.

Launch sequence initiated.

- No, wait!

There he is!

Get out of the way!

This is it!

Move it!

Ha, ha!

You're mine.

- Hey, where do you want

this life-size cutout of you, Mister Krabs?

- No!

Aah!

Oof!

- I told ya to stop playin' with that thing

and get back to work.

Great.

- Plankton, what happened?

- Thanks to your brilliant aim, honey,

I'm stuck inside that fool of a fry cook.

- Well, honey,you'll just have to change plans.

Plug into his eyes and see what's going on outside.

Hey, Squidward, we blew a fuse.

- I'm gonna blow a fuse if you don't get that order up.

- It works!

I can see everything Spongebob sees.

- Hey, can somebody hit the lights?

- Spongebob, where's the krabby Patty for order ?

- Oh, Squidward, is that you?

Oh, it's so dark in here.

I can't see a thing.

- Can you just get the krabby Patty?

- Sure thing, Squidward.

One krabby Patty coming up.

- He's going to make a krabby Patty

right in front of me.

- Oh, now, where are those patties?

No, nuh-uh.

Nuh, no.

Ah, there you are, Patty!

Add one fluffy bun like so

and a squirt of special sauce.

- Heh, heh, special sauce.

Wait, soap is the special sauce?

- Then you grab yourself some lettuce.

And voila!

One perfect krabby Patty!

I only wish I could see how beautiful it looks.

Number , your Patty is ready.

Whoa.

Watch your step, Squidward.

It is pitch black out here.

- Don't know; Don't want to.

- Order number .

Order number ?

Order ?

Nope.

Hmmm, no.

Thwack!

Order ?

Order .

Your krabby Patty, ma'am.

- That's it.

I'm trying something else.

Boing!

Where are those eardrums?

- Hey, the lights are back on.

Aah!

Mister Krabs.

Help me, Mister Krabs.

I've forgotten how to make krabby patties.

Please tell me the secret recipe again.

Finally, the ear drum.

Now, I'll just unplug this thing.

- Need a little refresher, eh?

Okay, boy.

I'll run through the krabby Patty formula

one more time.

First...

- Let me see what I can tune in here.

- The secret of the krabby Patty formula is...

- Jackpot!

- I said,

the secret to the krabby Patty formula is...

- Could you speak a little louder, please?

- The secret to the krabby Patty formula is...

- What? - Hold on.

- Here it comes.

- The secret to the krabby Patty formula is...

- Aaaah!

Dnnh!

Uugh! Uugh!

Woomph.

I hate my life!

- Is this thing loud enough?

- Oh, sure, I can hear you fine now.

- What was the question again?

- Oh, it, uh--

you know, I don't remember.

- Me neither.

So we good?

- Yeah.

- Get out. - Okay!

- Enough with these petty carnal senses.

If I'm going to get the krabby Patty recipe,

I'm gonna have to go to command central...

The brain.

Honk!

Hi, friend.

Why am I making idiotic comments?!

Superficial greetings?

What kind of idiot--

personal opinions?

Knock-knock jokes?

No, no, no, no!

This is all useless!

I'm gonna have to go in deeper.

Squish!

Where am I?

Ew.

That's disgusting.

Now, where do morons keep all their secrets?

Nope.

Doesn't this kid have any secrets?

Aha!

The library,

where he keeps records of his every thought.

All of his deepest, juiciest secrets.

In convenient alphabetical order.

Look at that.

"Q," "r," "s."

"Sounds that make Squidward upset"?

- "Patrick's favorite places to be scratched"?

- What are you doing?

Scratching!

- Aagh, all of these secrets are lame.

Wait a minute.

What's this?

The secret recipe isn't in the brain?

It's located in the heart.

How cheesy.

Thwump!

The krabby Patty recipe.

Yes, yes, yes!

Here it is!

My mouth is watering.

My taste buds are tingling.

Mm, mm. Oh, yeah.

It feels sogood.

I can feel it all the way to my finger...

Stumps.

All of the ingredients coming together in perfect Harmony.

And it's all mine!

Hwuh.

Okay, that was weird.

Like I was saying, the krabby Patty recipe

is the delicious sole property of the krusty krab.

Hwuh.

Who said that?!

What's happening to me?

So warm and...

Fuzzy.

It's--

pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

It's...

Ping! Ping! Ping!

It's beautiful!

All of the delicious ingredients living in perfect Harmony.

- You got the recipe?

- I sure did.

- Well, what are you waiting for?

Bring it back to the chum bucket.

- Karen, wouldn't that be stealing?

- What? Stealing?

- The krabby Patty recipe

is the delicious sole property of the krusty krab.

- Oh, brother.

Beep!

Thwack!

- Hey, everybody!

Wait, that's not what I wanted to say.

Now, what was it?

Thwack!

Pop!

Hiss!

Pop!

Pop!

Pop!

Sproing!

- Oh, well.

Never mind.

Thwack!

- Well, where's the recipe?

- The what?

- I knew you'd louse this up.

- Louse what up?