07x12 - The Play's the Thing/Rodeo Daze

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob
Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- How about a little
more, Plankton?

Or has this old granny had
enough for one night?

- Oh, gramma,

you know I always have
more pudding for you.

- Oh, that looks
simply delightful.

- You once told me that this
was your favorite flavor

growing up as a child.

- Ration?

- Er, no, chocolate.

Open up.

Shoom!

You can let go of the
spoon now, gramma.

There. Oop.

Looks like you got a
little on your face.

Here, let me.

There you are. There
you are, darling.

- Oh, Plankton, you always were
my favorite granddaughter.

- Five minutes until
bedtime, Mr. Plankton.

- Well, gramma, that's the
sweetest, most tender--

- five minutes, Mr. Pla--

- I heard you the first time!

Now, where were we?

- Gramma, don't
forget your teeth.

- Ooh.

Now, now, gramma, just relax.

There, there.

- That's perfect.

Perfect.

Why didn't I think
of this before?

No one can say no to a
helpless little grandma.

Excuse me, Sonny,
I'd simply love

one of your krabby whatsits,

but my delicate digestive
system has special needs,

and I'll need to see a
complete list of ingredients.

You wouldn't want me
to be up all night

with painful
bloating, would you?

- Goodness, no.

Here ya are.

- Thanks, Sonny.

I'm just going
to take it home.

I left my bifocals there.

Yay! A direct hit.

thr*at neutralized, Captain.

Roger, over.

Right away, Captain.

All hands, prepare to dive.

Repeat, prepare to--

- Hi, lady.

- Why, Spongebob,

don't you recognize me?

- Eeh, not really.

- It's me, your dear
old great-grammy-maw.

Quick, come inside.

Wow.

My very own great-grammy-maw.

Why have we never met?

- I want to know all about
your life, your job,

where the secret formula
is-- er, I mean--

I'm so glad you came back,

double-great-grammy-maw.

- Ick.

- You're cold.

Let's wrap you up in
something nice and cozy.

Okay, lean forward.

- There we go.

Now, lean back, grammy-maw.

It's the coziest
pillow I have.

- How about we look through
some old family photo albums?

Here's a picture of me

when I developed my
first appendage.

Pretty neat photo album,
eh, double-g-grammy-maw?

- It was certainly
interesting,

but I'd like to hear about
your more recent affairs,

like where you work,
for instance.

Don't worry.

I've got pictures of that too.

But we have a couple more
from my early childhood

to get through first.

- Never let it be said

that I didn't suffer
for my occupation.

Great-grammy-maw.

Oh, I had the most
horrible dream of my life.

I was dressed up as--

holy mother of
Neptune, it's true.

- Good morning.

I'll go and fix us
a nice breakfast,

and then we'll spend the
whole day together.

- Sounds delightful.

- So, grammy-maw,
what kinds of things

do you active
seniors like to do?

- Actually, Spongebob,

I said I wanted to see
your life, remember?

- I want to know all about
your life, your job,

where the secret formula
is-- er, I mean--

- no.

You couldn't possibly care
about any of that stuff.

Your life must be way
more full and exciting.

- Well, uh...

- Come on. It'll be fun.

Isn't this tea
delicious, grandma?

- Why, yes.

How can you drink this dreck?

- What?

What I meant to say
was, "more, please."

- Knitting circles sure
are fun, eh, grammy-maw?

- Nope.

- Why are you not having fun?

- Why?

Because I don't
knit, you nitwit.

- Are you sure?

'Cause you make a
real nice scarf.

Aw, great-grammy-maw,
you win again.

All hail the great
canasta-masta.

Grandma, you gettin' bored?

- No, I'm getting hungry.

I can feel my own stomach acids
eating away at my organs.

I could eat a village.

- Would you settle
for a krabby Patty?

- Would I?

Yeah, I would.

Uh, Spongebob, would
you mind terribly

if we used the rear entrance?

I'm a little shy
around new people.

Hey, grammy, do antennae
run in our family?

- Antennae? What, no, i--

aw, she really is shy.

Nobody ever uses this
door except for me and--

Squidward.

- Spongebob, you
have been warned

about lurking back
here on your days off.

- I'm just bringing in
my great-grammy-maw

for some lunch.

- Your what?

- My great-grammy-maw.

She must be hiding.

Well, she did say she was shy.

- Right.

Spongebob, I promise not to
tell Mister Krabs about this

if you promise that I don't
have to see you again

for the rest of the day.

- Grammy, there you are.

I was starting to worry.

- Never mind.

Just get me into that kitchen.

- Well, here it is.

- At last.

- Grandma, I'm just
gonna go make sure

the restrooms are stocked,
you know, real quick.

It's part of my
day-off duties.

- Okay, I'll be standing
right here when you get back

and not off somewhere
snooping around

for the secret
formula or anything.

What?

- Nothing. Go ahead.

Let's see how this decoy
floats your boat.

- Okay, grammy-maw,
that's taken care of.

I--

grammy-maw?

Hmm, she must have made her own
way up to the cash register

all by herself.

Maybe I'll catch up
on my dishwashing

while I have the chance.

The krusty krab manual says
it is always a good idea

to start by turning the
garbage disposal on

just in case there is any
leftover rubbish in the sink.

Sounds like there's
something stuck in the--

grandma!

Oh, I can't bear to look.

Oh, double-great-grammy-grams,

you were so soft and fragile,

like a--like a-- like a--

like a balloon.

- Spongebob.

Spongebob, up here.

- Grandma? Is that you?

Are you all right?

- Oh, I'm all right,

but I've been
ground to a pulp.

If only there was a nice,
cool, safe place nearby,

like a safe nearby, where
I could rest and recover.

- Well, there is the safe
where Mister Krabs keeps

the krusty krab secret formula

that Plankton's been
trying to steal

for the past bunch of years.

I don't think he'd mind

if my dear old grammy-maw
rests in there.

- Why would he?

- Here we go.

I'll come back for
you a little later.

- Oh, I feel better already.

Sweet dreams, grammy-maw.

Sweet dreams indeed, fool.

Only this dream is about
to become a nightmare

for Mister Krabs.

I'm just going to
savor this moment,

because for once in my
life, for once in my life,

I feel truly alive.

- Plankton.

- You've been a very
naughty boy, Plankton.

- But i-- gramma, I can--

- I've been looking all
over for this stuff.

- Gramma, I can explain.

- I'm sure you can.

Plankton Jr., you know,
you always were a--

- grandma?

You caught Plankton.

Let me guess.

Trying to steal the
secret formula, right?

- Get out of my
way, rapscallion.

I've had enough
foolishness for one day.

Oh, sorry, gare.

I thought you were done.

This side of town sure
has gone downhill.

Uh, Mister Krabs?

What are you doing out here?

- Oh, you know, unwinding,
enjoying the free parking.

- Ooh.

- What's happening to
your critter there?

- I'm not sure,

but whenever he does
that, he finds change.

- Change, as in legal tender?

- Yeah, watch.

- Well, shiver me shell wax.

You're like a little
money-detecting--

uh, what do you
call it-- sneagle.

- You mean snail?

- Say, Spongebob,

why don't you ever bring
your little sneagle

to work with ya?

- Because you said that pets

were nothing but
disease-carrying vermin

that should never be
brought to the workplace.

- Oh, but that was
before I knew

they had such an
incredible talent.

- Yes, but for some reason,

the whole process causes
Gary great discomfort.

I could never do that to him.

- I could.

- There you go. Bring
in that change.

I've been working on
this one for months.

- What's so funny, Mister Krabs?

- Oh, hi, Spongebob.

Uh, well-- say, aren't you

supposed to be out back
scraping out the dumpster?

- Done and done.

- Then get back there

and swab the poop
deck, so to speak.

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, what are you
doing with my change?

- Your change?

Anything on the
floor be fair game.

- Hey!

Looks like I need
pockets for me pockets.

Hey, where's everybody going?

Wait. Come back.

Ah, fine.

Go on, the lot of ya.

With me new money finder
here, who needs ya?

I was about to close
up shop anyway.

- Close up?

Come on, gare, you're
going with me.

- You're not taking him
home with ya just yet.

Uh, you haven't
degreased the fryer.

Now, get in there and do it.

And I don't want to
see you till you do.

- Yeah but--

- and don't worry
about Jerry here.

I'll make sure he gets
his nightly crawl.

Gary.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Dirty money spends just
like the clean stuff.

Oop.

Spongebob, what are
you doing here?

- Mister Krabs, I finished the--

I finished scrubbing
the fryer, sir.

- You sure made
easy work of it.

- Try telling that to
my frizzled hands.

- You got to keep
working, boy.

- I do?

- Yeah.

Why don't you, um,

rearrange the wall rivets
from smallest to largest?

- Hey, aren't they
the same size?

- That's what they want
you to believe, boyo.

Now, get back in there
and take a long look.

- Will do, cap'n.

La, la-la, la-la, la-la-la.

- Hoo!

Now back to our little
treasure hunt, eh, boy?

- You okay, Barry?

Attaboy.

- Mister Krabs was right.

A couple of these rivets are off
by as much as five nanometers.

Well, I'd better get to work.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

We ain't got time for that.

There's a laundromat that
needs to be cleaned out.

Cleaned out.

Get it?

Ah, never mind. Mush!

- If you don't get
moving, I'm gonna--

- you're gonna do what, sir?

- Eh, I was gonna give
him a snaily treat.

- See?

- Oh, okay.

Those rivets are all
rearranged, Mister Krabs.

- How is that possible?

Uh, okay, then,

now I want you to paint
the krusty krab.

- No problem. That's easy.

But I want you to do it

with this toothbrush.

- Sure thing, sir.

Bye, little pal.

- Oh, ho, ho.

Don't worry about Terry.

He's in good claws.

- I'm sure he is. Good-bye.

- Now, little sneagle,

are you ready to
do some laundry?

Hey.

Where's my change?

- Well, that stinks.

I'll bet he didn't
see that coming.

Hey, what's the big idea--

er...

We just found the pot at
the end of the rainbow.

- What the--

it's just like taking
candy from a baby.

- And then it went
whoosh over there.

And the coins just
flew from the machine.

- Don't worry, sir. We'll
get to the bottom of this.

- Uh-oh, they're on to us.

Time for plan "b."

- Ah, that should do it.

Ah, I better check
in with Mister Krabs

and see if he needs me to do
any more impossible stuff.

- Oh, boy.

I'm not gonna hear the end
of this when I get home.

- Pardon me, sir.

You haven't seen a krab

walking around with
a snail, have you?

- Say, are you in with those
thieving criminals too?

- Thieving what?

- Them two jerks
what stole my money.

The fat one used his sneagle
to swipe my coins from me.

- His sneagle?

- That's right.

Why, the coins were stickin'
right to its shell.

- Mister Krabs, what have
you done to my Gary?

Huh, so this is what a
hotbed of sin looks like.

How's it going, boyo?

You feeling the coin vibes?

- What do you mean you
don't feel so good?

- You look fine to me.

Now, quit being such a baby,

and start making
me some money.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Pregnant lady coming through.

Uh, hee-hee-hee-hee, hoo, boy.

It sure is hard
being preggers.

- Uh, yeah.

Ooh!

Ooh.

Get ready for a
downpour, me boy.

Ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for your money.

What?

- Come on, Harry, let's go.

Come on, you.

- Mister Krabs.

For shame.

- What do you mean?

I'm just showing Rory off.

- Don't you lie to me.

I know all about your using
Gary to steal money.

- I am doing nothing
of the sort.

I would never steal.

You have to quit making
up stories, boyo.

- I'm not making up anything.

I know all about
your little scheme.

You're the one
making up stories.

- Don't you have work
you should be doing?

- Oh, that's rich.

- No, if I was rich,

I wouldn't have to
hire the likes of you.

- That's hurtful,
Mister Krabs, and you know it.

- Why, you little yellow--

well, I never.

- You never what,

learned to use
decent language?

- What happened to the sweet
boy I hired so long ago?

Who do you think you are?

Jackpot!

Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money.

Come to papa.

Oh, boy.

- Yeah, he's in
pretty bad shape

with the impact of
all that metal,

but he'll pull through.

- Doctor, how does this
sort of thing happen?

- I think this might have had
something to do with it.

- Hey, my mermaid man and
barnacle boy fridge magnet.

- Yes, it appears that
your pet swallowed it.

It has a very strong
magnetic pull.

- 'Cause it's a magnet.

That's it, Mister Krabs.

Well, what do you know?

- Unfortunately, there's still
the matter of the bill.

- What? Oh, I can't
afford this.

- Actually, it looks
like you've got

just enough change
to cover it.

- Nooooo!