07x25 - . New Fish in Town/Love That Squid

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Boy, good thing I remembered my umbrella.

- Me too.

- Whoa!

- Whoa!

- Come on, kids.

Whoa!

Too bad I forgot my umbrella.

The end of another successful business day.

You know, Squidward,

this time of day always reminds me of...

Money.

- Oh, yeah, that's right.

- I'll just be here working while you do--

Um, i'm sorry, ma'am.

Gulp!

But we're closed.

- I see you're hungry, but--

but we really are closed.

Um, thank you.

Come again.

Hey! Closed means closed, grandma.

Thud!

Snap!

Boy, some people.

- One krabby Patty, please.

- I told you. We're closed.

I was supposed to get out of here ten minutes ago.

And besides, I already cashed the register out.

- Oh, but i-- - nope.

- I-- - no.

- I-- - no way.

- Please? I--

- never.

- I brought exact change.

That is what they cost...

years ago.

Krabby patties cost $ . these days, lady.

- Oh, dear.

Seems i'm just one short.

No way, granny!

- Oh, but it's all I have.

Oh, please? - Nope.

- Oh, please?

How terribly sad.

- Please? Oh, please.

You haven't seen the last of...

Me!

- Well, i've certainly seen enough.

What a creepy old hagfish.

I thought she'd never leave.

- Aye, good job, there, Spongebob.

Say, what did you tell her that finally drove her out?

I may need to know in case she ever comes back.

"Need to know in case she ever"--

- Have a good night, Mister Krabs.

- Uh, you too, Spongebob.

Have a good...

Night?

- Psst! Old lady?

Old lady?

- Here I am.

Right where you told me to meet you.

- Actually, I told you to meet me

two paces to the left.

Oh, good, you're here!

I brought the stuff.

- My goodness!

This has to be the most kind, most generous,

most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.

- You're welcome.

Just take it before someone sees us.

- Too late!

- Mister Krabs!

- So it's true.

- How did you find out?

- Find out?

Boy, you have to get up pretty early in the morning

to sneak a pair of buns like these past old Mister Krabs.

- Or at least before he takes off his sleep mask.

- How did you know I wore a sleep mask?

- Oh, please, Mister Krabs, Don't fire me!

Please!

- Eye of newt and frozen shark skin slab.

I hereby curse the krusty krab!

- We are not a soup kitchen, boy.

And these will be coming out of your paycheck.

Besides, we Don't want to encourage...

Charity.

- But what about the--the--the--the--

- come on, boy, spit it out! - The--the--the--

- okay, let's see what's under the hood.

- The--the--the--the-- - hmm.

There, that should do it.

- But what about the curse?

- The curse?

Boy, let me explain something about curses

with a little short story

me great-grand pappy used to tell me.

Ah, yes, here we go.

Curses are nonsense!

- They are, Mister Krabs? - Yep.

Just totally fabricated superstition.

Right, Squidward?

- You're asking the wrong guy about curses.

I live next door to Spongebob.

See, boy?

Just the maniacal ramblings of an old lady.

Nothing to worry about.

Squidward, i'm starting to get worried.

I got a funny feeling

that the krusty krab really is cursed.

And why is that?

- Well, we haven't seen a single customer all morning.

- That's not a curse.

That's a blessing.

You're right.

There's no such thing as curses.

- Me money!

- I got it. I got it.

Hot. Hot. Hot.

I Don't got it.

- I just remembered

there's a "no curse" clause in my contract.

Nice working with you.

- Squidward, wait!

You Don't even have a contract.

- There's a "no contract" clause in it too.

- Mister Krabs,

what makes you so sure

that even if we find that old lady

she'll lift the curse?

- Oh-ho, Don't worry, Spongebob.

Mister Krabs has a special technique

for dealing with situations like these.

It's called begging and pleading.

Well, Spongebob,

I Don't think we're ever gonna find--

Mister Krabs, look!

- Well, i'll be the slimy son of a slippery sea slug, boy.

It's her.

- Give me one good reason why I should lift the curse.

- Because if you Don't,

me business will be ruined forever.

- I said, "give me a good reason."

- Oh, please, madame hagfish.

Please.

I'll do anything.

Anything at all.

- Oh, I like a man who begs.

- See? Told you.

- I will lift the curse,

provided the two of you complete a dangerous task.

- Ah, now, wait a minute, granny.

That wasn't part of the--

- anything, oh, great hagfish.

- Bring me the sacred gold doubloon

from the throat of the giant golden eel.

Okay.

- Well, this must be it.

The lair of the golden eel.

- How could you tell?

- She gave me its business card.

- Hey, Spongebob,

so you think this fudgy stuff we're walking in

might be the eel's--

- leftover pudding?

Yes, I thought that too.

- Hold it, Spongebob.

Look.

- It's the eel.

Well, nappy time always comes after pudding.

Let's go get the doubloon from his throat before he wakes up.

- Good idea.

Be careful not to--

- whoa! Splat!

- He's awake.

- Look out for his tail!

Quick! Find something to...

Hide behind.

Smack! Whoa!

- Morning already?

I'm coming, Mister Krabs.

Don't go anywhere!

- I really Don't have a choice.

- Take this!

Tap!

Thud! - Ooph!

Good job, laddy!

- We're not finished yet.

Smack!

I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it.

Clap!

I Don't got it.

- Madame hagfish,

we have the gold doubloon you asked for.

- Finally.

Clean, please.

- Uh, now it's time to lift that curse

like you promised.

- There you go. The curse is lifted.

- A closed sign?

- That's it?

That's the curse?

- You think i'm going to waste good spells

on a bottom feeder like you?

Have a nice day.

- Well, it's like I told you before, Spongebob.

There ain't no such thing as curses

or witches or magical sea creatures or--

whoa.

Do you feel that?

Crash!

- Nothing like a fresh frozen krabby Patty

with extra freezer burn flavor.

Snap!

Here we go--

Grill looks a tad dirty.

- Yeah, i'd like to order--

- hold that thought.

- Spongebob, what's all the racket?

- Uh, so i'd like to order--

- Say!

Who wants the first Patty

from our freshly cleaned grill?

- I would like a krabby Patty.

- Okay. How about you, squid--

- no, I do not want a krabby Patty.

- You sure?

- Don't touch me.

- Why Don't you want a krabby Patty?

- I've seen what he cleans the grill with.

- Now all I need is a fresh Patty.

Hey, where'd all this water come from?

There we go.

Oh, my stars and garters,

the sink is clogged up.

Safety.

Now, what seems to be the trouble, hmm?

Thud!

- Patrick, what happened?

- There I was, walking along,

just minding my own business, and then,

boom!

Some dumbbell put this thing in the way.

What you doing?

- Trying to see what has this sink all backed up.

Would you excuse me a second?

Splash!

Aha!

Ah, this is easy.

All I have to do is pull the drain plug.

Pull the drain plug.

Pull the drain plug.

Pull the drain plug.

The drain plug.

The drain plug. The drain plug.

The drain plug.

- The drain plug?

- Spongebob!

Clang!

Thud!

What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad?

- Well, the sink is clogged,

so I was gonna pull out the drain plug.

Slap!

Stop messing with that drain plug.

Are you daft?

- Why Don't you want me to pull the drain plug, Mister Krabs?

- Why Don't i--

one sec.

Time for a scary story, boys.

The story of the main drain.

- Patrick.

- Sorry. Click!

- As I was saying,

it happened a long time ago...

Patrick! Click!

To a pair of little kids.

Two little kids?

- Anyway, it's said that the main drain

beckoned to them,

putting them under its spell.

- One day, those two kids

were wandering through the ocean

when they stumbled upon it.

Huh?

- The main drain.

Legend has it

that their curiosity got the best of them...

Pop!

And they pulled the plug.

The entire ocean rushed into the drain

and sucked those two kids right down with it.

The drain was so powerful,

it pulled all of bikini bottom into its gaping maw,

causing an apocalypse of the sea.

And nobody

was ever heard from again.

- Where is the main drain, Mister Krabs?

- Well, it's right--

I Don't know where it is.

And i'm sure not gonna tell you.

Thud! So--so, so get out of here.

And stay away from that drain!

No plugs will be pulled on my watch.

- Mister Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealies.

- The main drain sounds very, very dangerous.

I'm never gonna go near that thing.

- We should go find it!

To protect it from people like us.

- What if we get sucked in like those other two kids?

- Oh, Don't worry.

We're not little kids.

We're all grown up.

Pop!

Hey, a baby tooth.

- Who's been in bikini bottom for as long as Mister Krabs?

Crunch!

- Ew.

- Oh, hi, Plankton.

- Let's ask Plankton. He's a geezer.

- What stupid question do you want the answer to, idiots?

- Patrick and I are trying to find the main drain.

The main drain?

What are you two bothering me for?

I mean, i--i Don't know where the main drain is.

It's a myth anyway.

It doesn't exist.

- Yeah, but Mister Krabs says--

- krabs! Why that--

he was just telling you a fish tale.

There's no such thing

as a drain at the bottom of the sea.

So go on, scram! Shoo!

Get out of here!

Why on earth would krabs tell those two blunderers

about the main drain?

- I wonder who else knows about the main drain.

Old man Jenkins!

- Why are you two asking about the main drain?

- Mister Krabs told us a story

of how the main drain once destroyed bikini bottom.

- So we've been looking for it.

- Does the main drain even exist?

- Oh, it exists all right.

But it's been...

Hushed up.

- Where is the drain, oh, wise Jenkins?

- I have no idea.

- Patrick! We need to find that drain!

- Why?

- Isn't your curiosity piqued?

What if somebody accidentally pulls it?

What if-- what if--

blah, blah, blah--

- oh, man, I hope this question's not for me.

I hate questions.

- What do you think, Patrick?

!

No! Triangle!

Meatballs!

Screwdrivers! Pajamas!

- I hear you, Patrick.

Let's go find that main drain!

- Okay.

- Let's start walking.

- Uh, no, thanks.

I'm not into the whole walking thing.

But Patrick,

how are we gonna get to the center of the ocean?

- We'll wait for it to come to us.

I have a better idea.

La-la-la-la-la!

Well, what do you think?

- I love it.

Road trip!

Whoo!

Pop!

Thud!

- Well, that's out.

Hmm.

- I know!

- Another miserable day.

Thud!

- Oh, how are we gonna find the center of the ocean now?

Hmm.

- Ooh! Ooh!

I know exactly what to do!

Chomp!

Oh, that's better.

- Doing great, Patrick!

We'll be there in no time.

Clunk!

I found it!

- Wow. Good job.

- Let's pull it. - What?

Why would we do that?

- Well, that was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?

- No!

We came to see if it was real.

- Well, how do we know this isn't a fake?

- We--

we Don't know.

- We won't know unless we pull it.

- But if we pull it and if it's real,

the world may end.

- And if we Don't,

we'll never know.

- No!

Boys, there's more to that story about the drain.

You see--

- we were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug.

- That's right.

One day, Plankton and I were wandering around.

Huh?

Pop!

- You see, we had to lie

to keep you from looking for it.

- We just didn't want you to make the same mistake we made.

That was a close one.

- Uh, yeah.

We almost messed up big time.

Pop!

That's the most realistic story i've ever heard.

Pop!