11x02 - Spot Returns/The Check-Up

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Spot? Spot?

Spot?

Where are you, Spot?

Oh, there you are, boy! Come to me.

Jump in my arms and give me your precious kisses.

Good amoeba.

You get a num-num.

- Plankton, have you been feeding Spot

a lot of treats lately?

He's looking bigger than usual.

- Karen!

Not in front of the amoeba.

Spot is fit as a fiddle.

- All right, Doctor.

If you say so.

- Come on, I'll prove it.

Now you'll see how healthy my little SPotty-wotty is.

Wha...pregnant?

Ah, that can't be right.

I thought he was a boy.

- I'm not sure it matters for amoebas.

Food-rich environments cause amoebas to reproduce,

and you've certainly provided

a food-rich environment.

Who's gonna be a mama?

Good boy!

- We're not ready to have puppies, Karen!

This is all happening a little too fast.

We have to set up a state-of-the-art delivery room,

sanitize everything,

baby-proof the Chum Bucket... wait.

Where's Spot?

- What the...

Puppies?

You did it, boy!

Oh, I'm so glad you're okay.

Wait.

Is that my good dinner jacket?

- Oh, who cares about a dinner jacket?

Aw, look at the little puppies!

- Yeesh. Calm down, Karen.

You don't want to blow out your motherboard.

- Oh, I'm gonna name you Steven

and Karen and Clayton and Vincent and...

cute overload.

- Oh, sure, you take a couple of hours to reboot, Karen.

It's fine.

I'll just manage all these puppies

all on my own!

Hey! Get down from there!

Stop that! My furniture!

My experiments!

Bad amoebas! Bad!

- I don't get it, Karen.

Spot is so well behaved,

but the puppies don't listen to me at all.

I think we need to get rid of them.

- Yeah, I know what you would say.

"Don't you vaporize those puppies, Plankton."

- Fine!

If you insist,

I'll find a non-vaporizing way

to get rid of them.

Jeez!

"Free amoeba puppies"?

Oh, hey, Plankton.

What's with the sign?

- I fed Spot too much,

and he had puppies.

You want a few thousand?

They're free with an order of chum.

No thank you, Plankton.

I, uh, already ate.

But I can help you get your puppies adopted.

I did get Patrick into a good home.

- You sure this is a guard dog, Spongebob?

- Would you like to purchase ...

This is our corner now!

- Now, Plankton, just politely offer people free puppies,

and they'll all be adopted in no time.

- You there!

I demand you take an amoeba puppy.

- But that doesn't look like a puppy to me.

More like a speck of dirt.

- These are purebred amoebas, swine!

- Take this puppy, or I'll destroy you!

- Maybe if people could see how cute these puppies are,

they'd be more interested in taking 'em.

- Wait, what are you doing?

Ta-da!

- I can't believe that actually worked.

- Say, that's a fine-looking amoeba.

- Thanks! You want him?

He's free to a good home.

- Whoo!

- Do you have another amoeba?

They are too adorable.

- Smoosh up some more puppies, Spongebob.

We are in business!

- I'm smooshin'! I'm smooshin'!

Aww.

- Don't be sad, Matilda.

Mommy has to go to her arraignment,

but she'll be back soon.

Mwah!

- Puppy? You came back?

- Did you take this from your new owner?

That is rude, puppy!

Very, very rude!

- Wait, you all took something...

and brought it back to me?

I don't need any of this junk.

But perhaps there is something

you could get for me,

like the Krabby Patty secret formula?

Anyone happen to steal a throat lozenge?

No? Okay.

Come on, pups!

We've got some training to...

Still rebooting, huh?

- I might need someone

to help train these amoebas.

- I'm glad you called me, Plankton.

I am the best pet trainer in all of Bikini Bottom.

Why, Patrick is already housebroken.

- Oh, yeah, he'll just use the litter box.

Bad Patrick.

- Bad Patrick Star.

- To train a puppy,

one must think like a puppy.

Woof, woof, woof!

Voilà! Eh?

- Woof!

Woof, woof, woof!

Well, Spongebob,

after several grueling hours of training,

the puppies are ready.

Allow me to introduce them.

There's Demolitions Puppy.

Acrobat Puppy.

- Identical Twin Puppies.

And of course, Comic Relief Puppy.

- Hey, is this another plan

to steal the secret formula?

- Of course it is,

and there's nothing you can do about it!

Huh? Whoa!

You'll never get away with this, Plankton!

- Oh, but I will get away with this, Plankton!

I mean, Spongebob.

Allow me to explain.

First, we'll need a distraction

inside the Krusty Krab.

That's where the Identical Twin Puppies

come into play.

- Aww, I want one. It's so...

- Free from Krabs' watchful eye,

Acrobat Puppy can begin his infiltration.

- Once Acrobat Puppy gets inside Krabs' office,

he'll open the window for Demolitions Puppy.

Then, Demolitions Puppy

will blow the safe wide open.

With the safe door open,

the formula is mine!

And finally, just for fun,

Comic Relief Puppy adds a dollop of humor.

- Whoo-hoo!

- That's never gonna work.

But it already has!

What do you think the puppies have been doing

all this time?

Now to open my prize!

- Karen! Baby!

Woof, woof, ruff, ruff, woof, woof!

- Woof, woof!

- Plankton! Won't you ever learn?

You're never gonna get the formula!

- Come on, Spongebob. Maybe we can work something out!

I'll give ya % of my Patty profits. Huh?

- Sorry, Plankton. You leave me no choice.

Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip!

- I believe this is yours.

- Hey! Good boy, Patrick!

You get a treat!

Okay. No, wait!

I...Get offa me! What are you...

- Reboot...complete.

Oh! Oh! Oh ha!

More puppies? For me?!

Oh, Sheldon, I couldn't be happier!

- Wait, puppy.

Whoa, puppy!

Ooh!

Cute...overload!

Aah!

- Blllllaaaahhhh!

Whoa...

Oh ha!

Whoo!

- Squidward. What do you think the nurse

is doing to him in there?

- It's called a "checkup."

It's an invasion of your personal space

that's good for you.

- Aaaaahhhh!

Whoa!

- Eee...

Eee...aah!

- Sir, please hold still.

I need to check your reflexes.

- Sorry, nurse lady. I've never had a checkup before.

It's so much fun!

You seem fine...

physically, at least.

Congratulations. You pass.

- Wow! Imagine if it was this easy

to get your boating license!

- Eh. The world shudders at the thought.

- Mr. Tentacles?!

- Finally! Let's get this over with!

Ooh...

So, Boy-o... how was it in there?

Anything I should be... terrified of?

- Oh, no, Mister Krabs! Getting a checkup is the best!

The nurse poked me and prodded me

and jabbed me...

and pulled me and twisted me.

And... - Okay, okay.

That's enough.

- You want me to what?

Ooh...

- Fill this, please.

- Hmph.

Could I get a little privacy?

good color.

Solid line fidelity.

The ink is a little thick, though.

- Hey! - You just need to drink

more water.

You pass.

- Is there a...

Eugene Krabs?!

- Your turn, Mr. K.

- Ha ha. Looks like the old man

is scared of getting his checkup.

- This is no laughing matter!

Every employee must get their checkup...

or the restaurant will be closed...

under orders of the Bikini Bottom Better Business Bureau.

Not the...B.B.B.B.B!

- You heard her.

The...bbbbbbbb!

- Perhaps we could reach some sort of understanding.

- Oh, oh, I know!

We'll give Mister Krabs his checkup over the weekend

and you just pick up the results on Monday.

- I was just gonna bribe her.

- Monday works.

- Yay! We get to spend the weekend together!

Dodged that b*llet!

He's coming!

- It says here the first part of Krab's exam

is the pinch test.

We just need to do it

in a way he doesn't know he's being tested!

- Way ahead a ya!

We'll make him an offer he can't resist!

- "Free money inside."

Ha. Not bad.

- Come on, before he sees us!

Huh? Free money, hey?

Don't mind if I do!

Where's that money?

I'm not feeling any money!

Ooh! Ey! Ah! Ehh!

- Okay. I brought plenty of things

for Mister Krabs to pinch...

a pinch of salt...

Aah!

A baby's cheek!

Lucky that was a robot body.

- Spongebob, quit fooling around!

We need to test his ability to pinch something tough,

you ninny! - Tough, huh?

Gosh, the toughest thing I can think of

is...Mister Krabs himself!

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

Me achin' pinchers!

And I didn't even get any money!

Hee hee! A penny!

It's me lucky day!

- Pinch test failed.

Well, maybe he'll do better on the eye stalk test.

- Free suits? Oh, boy!

- Welcome, sir. I...Oh...oh...Uh...shee...

Step up here, and we'll begin.

Squidward, do you have the measuring tape?

Just grabbing some measurements...

- Sir, try to keep still.

Whoa, there!

Don't you need some other measurements?

I mean, how 'bout me inseam?

- Uh, no, you can put that away, sir.

I'm almost done.

- Aah! That's it!

Get off me, you terrible tailor!

- Tell your friends about us! - Not likely!

- How'd he do? - Oh, he didn't make the cut.

- Of course. Up next, it says

we have to get an X-ray of him.

Any ideas? - I do have one plan

that might work.

Hello there, sir!

Are you rightfully afraid of your own mortality?

Wanna make sure that when you're gone,

you are not forgotten? Well, step on up

and marvel at the latest technological wonder...

photography! Preserve your precious punim

for generations to come!

Aah...whaaa...

Conquer time itself at absolutely no charge to you!

- No charge, hey?

Well...I am very "photogeneric."

Let's see...

how do you start this thing?

Oh! Here we go!

Hoo! Gettin' kinda hot in here!

Should my underwear be on fire?

- How many X-rays of Mister Krabs do we need?

- Just one. How many did you set it to take?

- ...

thousand?

- Uh...this is getting a little...

Eh...thank you.

No more pictures, please.

Squidward, is his skeleton

supposed to just fall apart like that?

- Not at all.

On to the next test.

Oh, what a day.

- Hey, man, you look like you've had a rough day.

How'd ya like to chill out with a nice massage?

It's free.

- Free, huh?

- Free. - Eh. Okay.

Let's get this over with.

- Remember, this is the cold-blooded test.

Just take his temperature.

- You got it, best friend.

- Don't call me that.

- Boop! - Don't you do that!

- I'm ready!

- All right, man, let's see if we can, like,

work out some of this tension.

- Why, you... Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

- How's the cold-blooded test going?

- Great! He's in the freezer right now.

- Spongebob, you moron! Cold-blooded means your body

is the same temperature as the water around it...

not that you're actually cold!

Squidward?

Whyyyyyy?

- Oh, Mister Krabs, I'm so sorry!

We had to give you your physical without you knowing,

or the Krusty Krab woulda been shut down,

and I'd have to get a real job!

- All right! Final test!

Shell durability!

Wha-hah!

- No, no, no, no, no, no!

Now you see why I don't like checkups?

- Don't worry, Mister Krabs.

Yes, you failed every test today,

but Squidward and I will whip you into shape,

even if it takes the rest of the weekend!

- Let's kick it up a notch!

Eeeee!

Guuuuuuhhhh!

Whoa...no!

Aah...aah!

Oh...oh...no...oh, jeez...ohh!

- I don't know what we did wrong, Squidward.

Mister Krabs looks worse than before!

- I guess that nurse is gonna close the Krusty Krab after all.

I wish I could say

it's been a pleasure working with you.

- Oh, Squidward, I'll miss you too!

- Quit yer blubberin', boy.

Me body may be mush, but me mind's sharp as a tack!

And I...have a plan.

- Good morning!

I assume your boss passed his physical?

- Oh, um...yes. Of course he did.

Um, unfortunately, our results were...

- Uh, eaten! - Yeah, yeah.

Um, anyway, we thought you could

give old Mr. K another exam yourself.

He's in his office.

Very well.

Mister Krabs...

not only did you pass your exam,

you might be the most

astonishingly excellent physical specimen I've ever seen!

Whew!

- My name is Mister Krabs,

and I love money!

- Yes. You said so several times during the examination.

Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack,

- I suppose I won't need to close your restaurant today.

See you next year.

- Whoo-hoo! We did it, boys!

The Krusty Krab lives to see another day!

Three cheers for a successful ruse!

- Let's just make it one.

Hip, hip, hooray!

- So, you said there would be

some money in this for me?

- You'll never get me money!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!