11x26 - Squirrel Jelly/The String

Episode transcripts for the TV show "SpongeBob SquarePants". Aired: May 1, 1999 - present.*
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A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
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11x26 - Squirrel Jelly/The String

Post by bunniefuu »

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

dribble...

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

- Agh! Dribble, dribble,

dribble, dribble.

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble.

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble.

- Agh!

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

- It's been ten minutes!

Ain't you gonna sh**t?

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble,

dribble, dribble...

- Sorry, but you boys were slower

than a Sunday afternoon.

On your mark, get set, eat!

- Wow, you two are off like a herd of turtles.

Watch this!

I win.

Hot dang!

I'm faster than green grass through a goose!

Hm, these jumbo dogs are much too big

for your baby heads.

These dinky dogs should do ya.

Thank you.

- You're welcome!

I win again!

That's right!

I own all of y'all!

Yeehaw!

- Sandy, don't you think you're playing

a teensy-weensy bit rough?

Just a smidge?

- Aww, I'm actually going a little easy on you guys,

seein' as how you're all so delicate.

Hey, who wants to play "dodge the chum"?

- No, I don't think I'm...

Sandy is really stressing me out today.

You want to go jellyfishing?

- No, I'd rather go jellyfishing.

- You sure you don't wanna go jellyfishing?

- I said no.

I wanna go jellyfishing.

- Okay, we'll do what you want.

- The name is Sandy Cheeks,

and I can lick any critter on any beach!

- Now this is fun!

- Yes, quite the civilized sport, eh, what?

I say,

No more rough-horsing.

- And no more you-know-who

k*lling the casual vibe.

Hey, guys!

- Mind if I join you?

Not at all.

- Great! I can't wait to kick

some jelly booty!

- Uh, the thing is, Sandy, in jellyfishing,

we don't play to kick booty.

We actually catch and release the little sea angels.

- Well, that sounds about as exciting

as tap water soup.

Oh, well. Your game, your rules.

He's in mine now!

Now he's in mine!

- Whoopee.

Whoo-hoo!

You're gonna look good mounted on my wall!

Catch and release, Sandy.

- Well, this is lamer than a paper sandwich.

Hey!
Ooh!

This one's fat as a tick!

Ha, ha! Got you!

The jelly-thingies

were here a minute ago.

- It isn't like them to be so... coy.

I guess they must've...

Gotten sick of the boring game!

Get in here, you slimy varmint!

Hm? - Spongebob, look!

How's it going, little guy?

So that's how you wanna play it.

Hi-ya!

I'm catching and releasing...

releasing them from their freedom!

- Hey, widdle jewwy bewwy.

Would you mind?

Mine!

- What? Ugh.

- Yeah!

Easier than slipping

down a mudslide!

Okay, okay.

I know. Catch and release.

Isn't there anything more to this game?

- What more can anyone want?

- Yeah, it's perfect!

- I have an idea how we can...

kick things up a notch!

- Hey, Sandy, I really don't think

we need to kick anything up any notches.

- Ha! Frankenstein Fish Food!

Ooh, this should be fun!

Ha, ha! That's what I'm talking about!

They're no longer jellyfish.

Now they're jelly-buzz saws!

Hey!

You're supposed to fly into there!

I'm a walking glow stick!

- Whoa, Nelly, little jelly!

Such a soothing pastime.

- Thank you, super Sandy!

- Welcome to the jellyfish rodeo!

Aha!

Gotcha, varmint!

- Hey, that is not how we do it.

Carry on.

- Hands off that jellyfish, Spongebob!

He's mine!

Oh, you are so mine!

- No... Problem.

Oy.

- You're out!

Hit the showers!

Time for spring cleaning!

Into the dustbin of history!

Heh.

- Ha! Hoo-ah!

Hyah!

Whammer, bammer, in the slammer!

Whoo-hoo!

I'm the queen of Jellyfish Fields!

How does that feel, losers?

- I don't like it.

- I can't see or hear you,

for my face has been cauterized.

- Ah, you guys are just out of shape.

Come on, best two out of three.

But you've got all the jellyfish.

- And there's no more field.

Did I do that?

Yes.

- You did this, too.

- I guess I can be overly competitive at times.

- Gee, you think?

- You guys'll be all right

if you just walk it off.

- Don't forget to release 'em.

Yeah! That problem is solved.

Now to my other problem.

Ah, I've got some deep-dish thinking to do

about my aggressive ways.


Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Turns out, I'm the best at relaxing, too.

- Om.

- Oh, Sandy, help! - It's horrible!

- Oh, Sandy, help! It's...

- Ah, brother Spongebob.

Brother Patrick.

I bow to your good natures.

What can I do for you?

- You can clobber that giant jellyfish monster thing!

- Yeah, smash it up good!

- Oh, I couldn't do that.

I'm non-violent now.

I wouldn't hurt a fly-fish.

- How about some soothing music, jellyfish?

A soothing sitar always brings me peace.

- Whoa! Ow!

The gongs! They always calm me down.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Okay, that does it.

I was a pacifist, but now I'm gonna pass my fist

through your face!

As destroyer and transformer,

I transform to destroy you.

- Put up your dukes and fight me like a squirrel!

Hiya!

Whoa!

- Sandy, catch!

- The universe gave us a terrible w*apon

made up of the darkest dark matter

just for this occasion.

Ever played "dodge the chum"?

- Hey, get your slimy mitts off my pals!

Hiya!
Ya!

Whoa!

Hiya!

Nothing. That's it!

- Pretty. - Oh...

- Who are my good little jellies?

You are.

- Here you go. Buy yourself something nice.

- Well, let's get these little jellies

back to their home.

They really are sweet.

I'm gonna destroy you!

- That's our Sandy.

- Yeah. Hm?

Which one's Sandy?

Catch.

Oh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Yow!

Hot, hot, hot!

Hot mustard!

Oh! Oh! Whoa!

- You mind? Can't you see

I'm trying to read here?

What are you doing?

- You have a loose thread.

So?

- I want to pull it.

If I let you pull it,

will you please let me read my book in peace?

- Fine. Get it over with.

Ooh.

Nobody look down!

- My leg of my pants!

Seat yourself, sir.

I'll be with you in a minute.

- Me most valuable possession,

except, of course,

for you, my love.

Me appreciation is depreciating!

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

One dollar?

- I demand a refund!

- Uh, what's the problem here, sir?

- There is a hair in my soup,

and I demand a refund!

Ooh.

Uh, well, that's not just any hair, sir.

It's from the elusive Peruvian jelly-lope,

for flavor,

and it's only an extra...

$ million charge?

- That seems slightly exorbitant,

but really, what's a measly $ million

to someone like me?

- Ah, just as well.

I wasn't that hungry anyway.

- Someone order a rusty cab?

- I like string.

- Congratulations.

- Ah, there's nothing quite like

a brand-new shirt.

Whoops. Forgot the tag.

- I got it!

Oof!

Spongebob!

- Oops. Sorry, Sandy.

- Ah, nothing beats cashmere.

Oh, a bit warm for a sweater today, though.

- I can help!

- No, no, no, no! - No, no, no...

Oh, come on!

Let's see that twine-twirling twit

try to unravel this!

Really? Ouch!

Patrick, hi.

- You have a thing on your thing.
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