07x06 - Return of Thor Bonecrusher

[bunniefuu]

[Hiccup]

This changes everything.

[indistinct chatter]

[both grunting]

[laughs]

[exclaims in annoyance]

[indistinct chattering]

[both gasp]

[sighs]

You're a hard man to find.

And, harder to k*ll, apparently.

[man]

What do you want from me? That's the wrong question.

The real question is, what can we do for each other? Allow me to fill you in on what's transpiring as we speak.

Hm? [screeches]

Hm.

Yeah, I see 'em, Hooky.

What do we say we go introduce ourselves? [screeches]

[Snotlout]

Comin' in hot! Well, hello, ladies.

- What brings you to [exclaims]

- Huh? That is false advertisement.

Sorry, we couldn't risk being seen.

Besides, we rather like the look.

What are you Outcasts doing on Dragon's Edge? Alvin has been kidnapped by a group of bandits.

We've tried everything to get him back, paying ransom after ransom, but nothing works and we fear for his life.

We're desperate.

We need someone with the power, strength and charisma to return our morale and our Chief.

Someone like Thor.

Thor Bonecrusher.

[humming]

Whoa! [groaning]

[Snotlout]

I couldn't believe it either.

I guess they heard of his exploits on Berk, his [imitating Outcasts]

"heroic acts of unparalleled bravery," and are convinced that he's the only one who can go up against these bandits.

[laughing]

No way.

They don't want our help? Yeah.

I mean, they won't risk bringing in dragon riders, because these bandits seem to be on edge.

Hair trigger stuff.

They might just see us and k*ll Alvin on the spot.

Eh.

[Snotlout]

They got 'em pretty freaked out.

But there is one brave man who could really rally those Outcasts and run point in getting Alvin back.

Big props to TB.

What? [Ruffnut gasps]

Oh, for Thor's sake.

Well, I think if they need Thor Bonecrusher, we should call on him, right? Great idea, Fishface! Terrible idea, Snotlout! Bringing Thor back is way too dangerous.

For you included.

Stop it.

He was fine.

In fact, he was perfect.

He almost got you k*lled.

Are you saying I'm not brave enough? Not powerful enough? That I can't do this, Hiccup? Oh, yeah? Is that what you're saying about my boy? I'm saying, Fishlegs, that you don't even know Thor Bonecrusher.

He took you over.

Sure, he was brave and awesome.

But, he was almost too heroic.

He was reckless and out of control.

You just aren't that guy in your core.

[sighs]

Look, we'll figure something else out.

But no Thor Bonecrusher for now.

[chuckles]

So, you do this every night? I, uh, had no idea.

There are sides to the Snotman, my fine fishy friend.

The Snot can be bold and bad.

The Snot can be brash and courageous.

And the Snot can be tender and insightful.

Now, on to what you're really here about.

You want to know about Thor Bonecrusher.

I do.

I do.

Well, sit back while I tell you a story.

A story of bravery, chivalry, and just a hint of insanity.

The name's Bonecrusher.

[grunts]

Thor Bonecrusher.

[grunting]

Aw.

[sheep bleating]

[grunts]

[snarling]

[cheering]

Wow.

He sounds so awesome.

Thor is the best thing that ever happened to me.

- Okay, let's just say - We hypnotize you? Great idea! Wait a minute, Snotlout.

Hiccup is right.

I don't know Thor Bonecrusher.

I don't remember a thing about him.

Shouldn't we get Gothi? I got this, okay? I know Thor better than that old bag.

Bam! Okay.

But, wait, wait, wait, wait! This time when I get hypnotized, add in that Thor loves Meatlug, because it'd k*ll me if I pushed her away again.

Loves Meatlug.

Got it.

And there should be an easy way to snap me out of it, like, uh, you clapping three times.

Thrice clap.

Check-a-roo.

Finally, just as a safety measure, make sure I'm not as heroic as last time, you know? I think that's what really concerned Hiccup.

Got you, my bone-crushing brother.

Trust.

Have faith.

Believe.

And watch the ball.

I don't know, Snotlout.

Can you really [snoring]

I did it? I did it! [laughs]

Now, what did we agree to? Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

This is gonna be so fun! Thor.

Thor Bonecrusher.

We need you, Thor.

We need you to be strong.

- Brave.

Powerful.

Charismatic.

- Ooh.

[growls]

Right.

Right, right.

You shall love Meatlug.

Mm.

You shall wake when the Snot claps three times.

[claps]

You shall Uh [Hookfang grunts]

Will you stop? I got it.

Jeez! Okay.

You won't be so heroic like last time.

You'll be, I dunno, what's it called? Anti-heroic.

Anti-heroic! You'll be anti-heroic Thor.

[grunts]

I think that's it.

[exclaims]

Okay, on my snap.

Come out, come out where ever you are, Thor Bonecrusher.

[growls]

[exclaims in fear]

[cracks bones]

Well, hello.

[growls]

And so good to see you, Meatlug, my love.

I've missed you so much.

[Snotlout]

That's right, Outcasts! Give it up for, Mr.

Thor Bonecrusher! Ha, ha! Easy as pie! Whoo! It's a flippin' flaming axe! - I love me.

- Oof! [crashes]

Oh, wha [giggling]

[cart crashes]

[cat yowls]

Thank Thor.

Literally.

There's another ransom due today.

Tell me about said ransom.

Show me what these no-good doers are attempting to extract from you wholesome Outcasts.

[laughing]

[cracks]

[Snotlout gasps]

Now, do explain, kind people.

We offered gold, Mr.

Thor.

But they only wanted this Ice Tail Pike.

They were very specific.

It is rare and indigenous to Outcast Island.

Hm.

The love of this tasty little fish will be the demise of these bandits.

[gasps]

[retches]

Mm.

And I have just the plan.

Ooh! Bandits.

[both grunting]

[whispering]

Now, remember, brave soldiers.

You must stay still.

Once the wagon has been taken to their holding station, - jump out and fire into the air.

- [Outcast]

Aye.

Thor shall appear and do what Thor does so well.

What do I do, TB? What do I do? [exclaims]

Right.

Hang back.

Ready for action.

Got it.

[chuckles]

He's so cool.

Meh.

It is as you asked.

Ice Tail Pike in exchange for the leader of the Outcast tribe.

Where is Alvin? Not with you, I'm guessing? And who are you? Who am I? [scoffs]

Who am I? [laughs manically]

[laughing]

[laughing]

Who is he? I'm the answer to your prayers.

And what prayers would those be? Wait a minute! I see something moving under that fish pile.

Huh? I saw this man planning it all! What? Who? Me? Seize them! Ow! [Snotlout screaming]

Oh, no! Aw.

What is it? Scared? Broken hearted? You poor, naive little man.

But you're Thor Bonecrusher.

You're a hero.

I created you.

I loved you.

Love, hate.

Hero, anti-hero.

They all exist across a razor's edge.

This is the Thor Bonecrusher that is here now.

This is the Thor Bonecrusher reborn! [laughing manically]

[Hiccup]

When you hypnotized him, what? Well, he wanted to make sure that he loved Meatlug, and he didn't want to be as heroic as last time, so he'd be, I don't know, safer or something like that.

- [Both]

And? - Well, I think I messed up and told him not to be heroic at all.

Well, that's good.

Means he can't get in that much trouble.

- Or he's un-heroic.

- As in anti-heroic.

As in, the anti-Thor! Oh.

That's actually what I said.

Anti-heroic.

Snotlout! What? It sounded so good at the time.

Oh, Gods.

[sighs]

So, where is he? Okay, don't get mad, but he double crossed me and joined the bandits.

[winces]

And they still have Alvin.

[Hiccup sighs in annoyance]

Great.

So now we have to rescue both of them.

Uh-huh.

So.

Bonecrusher, you say? Did I stutter? You know, you look exactly like one of those dragon riders.

The stocky one.

Fishlegs.

Fishlegs.

Fish, legs.

Can your Fishlegs do this? [grunting and growling]

Or this? [grunts in pain]

You may applaud now.

[murmuring]

[all cheering and shouting]

Thor Bonecrusher! Ah, this never gets old.

[guards chanting]

Thor! Thor! Thor! You know what? I'm having so much fun here, instead of simply joining your ranks, I'm going to lead them.

Now, the first order of business.

We need to get ready for some unwanted guests.

Toothless.

[whispering]

I thought no one knew we were coming.

[arrows whizzing]

Toothless! The water.

Cover the water! It's their only way out.

[both]

Woah! He knew we'd try to sneak in this way.

Keep going, Hookie.

If I can get close enough to him, I can clap Oh, boy.

[retching]

[laughing]

[groans]

Huh? Uh-huh.

Three, four, five Thors.

Must clap hands.

[laughing]

We had an Uncle Dullnutt who used to do that.

We could watch him for hours! [screams in fear]

Whoa! Stop! Stop! [scoffs]

Child's play.

[clapping]

[growls]

Come on, Fishlegs.

[weakly]

No, Hiccup.

It has to be me.

[clapping]

[Snotlout grunts in pain]

[laughs]

Oh, no! [grunts]

Onward, Snot-man.

Destiny awaits.

Guys, the water! Now! [grunts]

[Hiccup]

We'll come back for him! [both shouting]

Yeah.

Uh.

Ow.

My head.

Huh? [Snotlout]

Alvin? Huh? Uh? I see you guys have made quite the improvement to your rescuing over the years.

Hm.

[door opens]

Well, hello, little man.

I do hope these accommodations are to your liking.

Come on, Thor.

It's me.

Your buddy.

Huh! What is Hiccup's next plan? Reinforcements from Berk? [Snotlout groaning]

Help from the Defenders of the Wing? And that clapping.

What was that? Some sort of dragon-related signal? Tell me! Ow! Sir, the men are all assembled.

Just like you asked.

[screaming]

I'm instituting a little change in our operation.

From now on, we will be taking gold from these Outcasts.

Not fish.

What? What's the problem? With gold you can buy all the fish you can carry.

But not this fish.

We've been charged with procuring as much of this specific Ice Tail Pike as possible.

And our leader, he's someone to be feared if crossed.

We have but one wagon load left and then we return with our bounty.

And the hostages? We are to toss them overboard.

No loose ends.

Ah.

I like the way he thinks.

If it's Pike fish he wants, then it's Pike fish he shall receive.

But Thor Bonecrusher will deliver it personally.

He needs to meet this leader of yours.

We need Alvin now! Bring us Alvin! [all shouting]

We will get Alvin back.

And we will defeat this group of bandits.

We just need a little more time.

We found them.

[retches]

With all that fish, I could almost track them myself.

They followed the caves to the other side of the island.

Definitely accessible from the outside.

But how are we going to defeat an enemy who knows all of our tactics? We need to try something completely unexpected and out of the box.

Something Fishlegs would not expect.

[Snotlout groaning]

[dragon snarling]

[guard]

Dragon rider.

- Better get Thor.

- Uh-huh.

I come in peace, Fishlegs.

[stammering]

Thor.

I even brought an offering.

[cooing]

Thank you.

[growls softly]

I appreciate the third hostage.

[whimpers]

[Astrid]

Sorry.

But you only have two.

Look! Astrid doing something nice for Snotlout.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

[snarls]

[growls angrily]

Seize them! [all shouting]

Toothless! [grunting in pain]

Now, bud! - Wow - [Astrid]

Snotlout! [shouting]

[claps]

Snotlout, you're here! Fishface! [screaming in fear]

No! Nice try, Hiccup.

Now, back off! All of you! Or I will run him through! [Snotlout crying]

No! [all laughing]

[Snotlout]

No! Ow! [groaning]

Aw.

This is getting old.

Why didn't the clapping work? [indistinct chatter]

We aren't leaving just yet, men.

It's way too dangerous, Thor.

Now with the dragon riders on to us.

We lost a bit of bounty in that skirmish.

We don't have the requisite amount of fish necessary to appease your leader.

One more handsome ransom, and then we go.

[giggles]

And we'll add in a little bonus.

What would your boss say to some dragon rider dragons? Go, dragon! Go tell the others we are waiting for them! Hiccup, what do we do now? f*ring on Thor is f*ring on Fishlegs.

But what if we can't snap him out of it? He doesn't even know he's Fishlegs.

Meatlug does.

Tuffnut, Meatlug doesn't help us right now.

Then, should I just take her back to the Edge? Bing! [Astrid]

What? Huh.

Well, at least now we know what we have to do.

[Snotlout straining]

I don't know about just walking into this, Hiccup.

They think they have the element of surprise, but it's the other way around.

[gasps]

[Hiccup]

This is where the lookouts should be positioned.

Hiccup, we don't even know who this came from.

On my mark.

And It's a trap! It's a trap! [shouting]

Run, Toothless! And there goes the element of surprise.

Now! Give 'em everything you got! [guards shouting]

Let me at him! [screaming in fear]

- Hey, watch it, Hookfang! - Fishface? Fishface! No time to explain.

We gotta free Alvin.

Whoa! [exclaims in fear]

[both grunting]

[Snotlout]

No! [whimpering]

Oh, no! Hey, you.

[Fishlegs shouts]

Whoa! [chuckles]

Snotlout! No! Snotlout! [growling]

[shouting]

Whoa.

Ha, ha! Fishlegs? Whoo! [snarling]

[both dragons snarling]

[Fishlegs]

Meatlug! [growling playfully]

[guards exclaiming in fear]

[laughing]

Come here! [laughing]

[sighs]

I tried to get them to tell me who they worked for, but they were tight lipped.

[chuckles]

Don't you worry.

They will.

I have a few old school techniques I'd love to dust off that will pry those lips apart in no time.

Okay.

I'm so confused.

Did the clapping work or not? It did.

[laughing]

If I let them know in that moment that I wasn't Thor, they'd have taken off with the bounty and made you and Alvin shark feed.

Wow.

So, it was Fishface who saved us, and not Thor? [chuckles]

Did not see that one coming.

That was a crazy risk, Fishlegs.

But it proves I was wrong.

In your core, you do have a lot of Thor Bonecrusher.

I'd like to think it's the other way around, Hiccup.

[Fishlegs]

Aww.

[Tuffnut sniffles]

Group hug! [all clamoring]

[Snotlout]

So many arms! Look at all of us together! What's up? Well, the question still remains, Hiccup.

What did the dragon hunters want with these fish? So, you see, Krogan, sir, [chuckles nervously]

it was impossible to have seen what was coming.

Impossible, you say? And what say you? [gasps]

There'll be a setback.

The Ice Tail Pike are essential to our training program.

Unlike this gentleman.

Failures have no place in my army.

The bar must remain at its highest.

I'd throw him down a Whispering Death hole.

But that's just me.

Relax.

There will be no Whispering Death hole for you.

If I did that, I wouldn't get to see you suffer.

Then that would take the fun out of it.

No! Come on.

No! No, no! Now, Viggo, how do you plan to withstand the extreme heat? It wasn't so kind to you last time.

I was just assessing that myself.

I have some thoughts.