02x11 - The Evil Dr. Orbot

[bunniefuu]

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breaking news villainy like my blood

pressure is on the rise

criminals are scamming our most

simple-minded citizens hey

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he's right

blatantly disrespecting posted traffic

signage

and stealing candy from even the ugliest

of babies well i never oh and also sonic

and eggman are in the midst of an epic

battle with our very way of life hanging

in the balance yada yada

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swarm my minions destroy all the fuzzy

puppy figurines

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why are you doing this i thought you

loved fuzzy puppies that's what makes

this bitter sweet the fuzzy puppy bubble

burst all my adorable figurines have

plummeted in value but if i destroy the

remaining unsold stock it'll

artificially increase the worth of my

collection your economics are sound but

your methods aren't we're about to give

you your maximum sustainable yield of

pain

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gentlemen those evildoers are driving

the city to bankruptcy we didn't rig

that election just to stand by and do

nothing

and so effective immediately all

evildoers must obtain a permit if they

wish to continue performing their

nefarious deeds

now now calm down all you need to do is

pay a fee and take an evil competency

test

you have 60 minutes to complete the exam

make sure to fill the bubbles completely

with the number two pencil begin a

pencil nobody said anything about

pencils

excuse me

looking for one of these thanks buddy

20 bucks what that's highway robbery and

i know you don't have a permit for that

yet

name this is gonna be easier than i

thought

question one if a train full of innocent

civilians is traveling west at 60 miles

per hour and a m*ssile of unspeakable

destruction is zooming east at 115 miles

per hour

the middle schooler can answer this just

gotta factor in wind resistance and

terminal velocity curvature of the

planet how many people are on this train

anyway that's a variable so i gotta

solve for x

got it oh one down 99 to go 10 second

warning

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sweet smokey chipotle i passed me too

all right fellow accredited villains

lunch is on me i know a great vending

machine we can topple

i failed i'll burn this building to the

ground not without your permit you won't

fine i'll retake the test then burn it

to the ground according to section three

of the new ordinance you can't retake

the test for 90 days but that's three

months wait this is february it's more

than three months yeah

ah don't worry about it dr e you'll get

him next time i'll be your study buddy

we'll work together every day from dawn

to dusk the next three months and

several days we'll fly right by as

delightful as that sounds i have an idea

that won't make me want to jump head

first off megabot

i can't take that test again but you can

i'm flattered but i don't test well i'm

more street smart not you the other

dimwit orbot will pass the exam thus

becoming the official evildoer in the

household meanwhile i'll be pulling the

strings behind the scenes as the puppet

master but how can i pass the test i

don't know the first thing about being

evil what do you mean you learn from me

uh perhaps i'll do a little research on

my own

if i want to be prepared for tomorrow's

exam i'll need to download an evil

textbook directly into my memory

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[Laughter]

there now evil courses through my very

circuits and i like it

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i did it a perfect score don't take all

the credit because of me you knew to

bring pencils that's half the battle

right there now come on puppet boy we

got some schemes to hatch

the evil message boards are all buzzing

about the two-tailed goober having some

sort of new weather controlling

invention so here's the plan you're

gonna blow a hole in his wall then send

in a pack of robot minions

i said aim for the wall you blunderbot

what was that

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what the heck is he doing this isn't a

plan

here it is okay you did it a little

differently than i wanted but that's all

right don't worry you'll get the hang of

it eventually i think you did pretty

good and not a single casualty

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just in case egg salad wasn't enough of

a mood k*ller let's send in a swarm of

ant bots i have a superior idea

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wow great plan boss and you did good too

doc

we gotta talk you see puppet mastering's

a two-way street fascinating say do you

remember your fuzzy puppy warehouse

failure from a few days ago that's

exactly what i'm talking about you're

not ready to pull off an advanced

maneuver like that oh that's strange

because i've already done it

rather than destroy the warehouse i

purchased the entire surplus supply of

figurines at deep discount closeout

prices then i posted a flyer saying that

a mystery buyer was willing to pay 1 000

bucks for each fuzzy puppy figurine thus

creating an artificial demand at the

same time i took out an ad in the

newspaper offering to sell the

aforementioned surplus figurines for 500

bucks apiece people came in droves and

they didn't buy just one they purchased

three one to play with one to keep mint

in the box and one to resell to the

mystery buyer resulting in a 500 buck

profit on each sale and at the same time

raising the value of each figurine in

your collection to 1 000 bucks but but

where's the senseless destruction

where's the v*olence where's the fun i

decided to do it properly instead you

don't get to decide on the evil plans i

do what's the point of being a puppet

master if the puppet doesn't do what you

say

that's why i'm cutting my strings

say hello to the newest villain in town

the evil doctor orbot oh so now anyone

can call themselves a doctor huh hey dr

o can i be your flunky i want to be on a

winning team for once

for years i sat idly by while the world

laughed at me calling me names like

lucky and paperweight well who's

laughing now

you are dr paperweight

after all that time working under that

mustachioed maroon how is it you still

don't recognize a rhetorical question

i don't know i guess sometimes i just

was also rhetorical you iron imbecile if

i wanted to be yelled at i'd have stuck

with eggman silence now onward to city

hall

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game over eggman

get lost sonic

wait that's not eggman don't you goody

goodies have a baby that requires saving

no my baby yeah yeah we'll get to it

lady we need to hold back he's just

aurobod i don't know did you see his

test scores pretty evil yep mm-hmm yeah

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minions att*cks

this senseless destruction is

unacceptable oh wait you have a permit

carry on

the villain permits have all been

destroyed without the proper paperwork i

guess this whole evil permit lawyer is

null and void

success my plan worked perfectly your

plan my new power would go to your head

and i needed those records destroyed oh

man i puppet mastered you so hard well

played but you haven't seen the last of

evil dr orbot come you incompetent ingot

you know i really prefer spineless stew

jorbot to bossy jerkface orbot

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who's up for charades oh me me i gotta

say eggman that was one convoluted evil

plan i didn't have a plan all that stuff

just happened the evil genius part was

taking credit for it all

so long suckers

i believe this is yours

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you