02x16 - Dial M for Merger

[bunniefuu]

last time on Total Drama Action

it was a festival of guts determination

and sweat as yours truly put our

contestants through their sports movie

paces only leshawna was a little

distracted with her rent above the gag

turned up on Courtney's PDA and so in

the end Heather that queen of me was

sick packing straight to the salon but

there's no time to think about our

corpse today instead we're gonna make

the best spy movie ever and we might

have a few sneaky surprises along the

way right here on Total Drama

[Applause]

[Music]

mama dada doing fine

[Music]

asked me what I wanted to be in nothing

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

I'll keep eating like this and my bootys

gonna get pity see no that's not kosher

what's a girl gotta do I've said I'm

sorry about that easy spa lie a million

times and that's the only million

leshawna will ever see my lawyers are

working on it right now even my own

teammates TVs go leshawna go leshawna

careful you get wind burn from moving so

fast

hey I don't trust anybody anyway so this

is usual t me bleak yet oddly hot warm

this morning door doorknob

[Music]

what

[Music]

I always knew that producers were mean

but now I think they're actually trying

to k*ll us if you ask me it's a

conspiracy - hey where's Harold Beth

listen to me it's gonna be all right

just focus on my calming Beauty and

soothing complexion

[Music]

oh my eye

my beautiful I'm sure die I'm so sorry

are you okay ah I bruise easier than a

clingstone peach must prevent swelling I

need ice ice

[Music]

nobody will ever hire me now my modeling

career is over I'll have to go work in

the circus as a as one of those circus

freaks Hey

where if my PDA trying to steal it again

I see no I was just trying to give it

back

swearsies welcome to the world of spy

movies

dude what's with the bad Jamaican accent

Jamaican more like Japanese no Swedish

French kinda sounds Italian to me um

hello it's Russian and I should know

because I am an actor really any good

spy in any good spy movie must have

three essential skills one the ability

to deactivate a b*mb - the ability to

escape an exploding building and three

the ability to fake an accent that makes

people believe you actually speak the

language like am i fab a Russian accent

mine you'll need two of the three skills

to get through today's reward challenges

you guess which two let me give you a

hint not to turn one mots

[Music]

know anything about bombs I once was in

a musical about the environment called

the 3 R's iris recycle and my best

friend Marci played reduce she paints

her nails great food just like me anyway

only three people showed up and the

director said it bombed so yeah I know a

thing or two about bombs mr. ninja not

so much over here doesn't get anywhere

near the b*mb if you deactivate bombs

the way you foil booby traps we are so

dead and one last thing since I'm really

home bored of the teams I'm busting them

off now on it's every dude and dudette

for themselves I'll see you back on

solid ground

let the double-oh-seven begin breaking

us up after all we've been through

[Music]

that's what we've been

[Music]

constantly

[Music]

[Applause]

how do we get out of here the GPS

indicates an exit somewhere over there

I don't normally trust technology but in

this case now make an exception

honey that direction only leads to

heartache and tears on your pillow over

here way to go Justin good eye now that

I'm a hideously deformed circus freak I

have to rely on my brains to win this

thing

you hear me brain yeah I'm speaking to

you cool awesome this is like something

out of that spy movie the ultimate

ultimatum don't I look awesome in blue

now the first part of the spy movie

challenge see that case in the middle of

the room you have to get whatever's

inside cuz you're gonna need it for part

two of the challenge no problemo you see

smash and grab we need to finish you

gotta get whatever's inside without

setting off the alarm but be careful

those lasers will cut you clear in half

better home fitting under there it's not

gonna be easy for this bountiful booty

brain got any ideas your fault no this

is all your fault we're good for you

anyway number one requirement for a BFF

don't allow other BFF to get stuck

between dangerous life-threatening

lasers yeah and you know what's a number

two requirement is requirement

[Music]

oh I'd howl ah what the heck anybody

okay brain it's all up to you I know you

haven't had a lot of exercise in the

past

um sixteen years give or take but you

can do this hahaha

Mirror Mirror in my hand who is the

smartest one of all stop gawking and

start lifting Oh careful careful

not so fast that was close pros and cons

of life as a circus freak Pro Travel con

the bearded check you gotta admit that

was pretty cool the three of us working

together solve problems one of us anyway

some of us were too busy making googly

eyes at a certain girl you go first

oh hey watch it how about we form a

secret alliance vote together we'll all

make it to the final three there aren't

enough rare treskilling yellow

18:55 s in the world to ever make me

work with him you really are such a dork

the treskilling yellow 1855 is the

rarest stamp in the world worth over two

million dollars if I had it I wouldn't

need to be here listening to your drivel

forget your stupid stamps three words 1

million DeNiro's see that's what I'm

talking about ok so now what grab

whatever's around and smash it open case

probably is an arm since the lasers are

protecting IV mentally disagree the case

is quite possibly booby-trapped don't

listen to his

ninis over here grab whatever you can

and smash away what is that girl doing

taking my expert advice no doubt and

staying away nothing grips my wheel more

than a chick with a furious spin he'll

fly and jump kick after that mixed

martial arts display Courtney sh*t way

up on my you're alright meter just a

weird g*n thingy and some wire cutters

to escape a building that's about to

blow

[Applause]

[Music]

odd just a weird g*n thingy and some

wire cutters to escape a building that's

about to blow learn boy

[Applause]

[Music]

mom is your smile hot stuff I'm too

knowledgeable to die three - you should

have seen the looks on your faces

oh come on for the record what I gave

Duncan would properly be classified as a

pity hug he was clearly scared out of

his mind probably would have d*ed of

fright if I hadn't wrapped my arms

around him his little heart was b*ating

so fast

so no pity hug pity hug plain and simple

man Courtney is this close to begging me

to take her back just watch you'll need

the zip wire g*n and the wire cutters

for the next spy challenge whether

Courtney our little kung fu queen

chooses to share her tools with the

tools it's totally up to her oh by the

way the first countdown was just a test

real countdown begins

[Music]

find out use the zip line to get out of

here but we need another structure of

some kind for it to grab on to what do I

hear for a ride to freedom you gotta be

kidding y'all willing to bargain with

our lives um duh and the offers better

be good

I've already got a PDA well how about a

bottle of my face brightener papaya is

really good at picking up an ashy

complexion my prized action figure

transistor man still in the box

my French maid's outfit wait I played a

French maid in the school play oh sorry

none of these pathetic offers interest

me what do you want woman time's running

out

can't you see

[Music]

I share the prize money with you 5050 if

you win what I knew there was a reason

we picked Courtney she's nasty

I love nasty why okay okay what is good

how are we gonna get over there with

only one line get ready for the

fireworks Oh another false alarm

that boy is just downright me as if we

have the budget to blow up an entire

building I was just playing with you

again because I can write nearly okay

kiddies time for your next super spook

challenge in front of you you will see

seven bombs you will have to deactivate

the bombs with only the tools you got

from the last challenge the wire cutters

oh wait was it Courtney the only one who

got the wire cutters well I guess

everybody else will just have to find

their own way of cutting the wires sucks

to be you

any questions where can I get the b*mb

schematics

do box come with instruction am i

reading the right kind of b*mb

deactivating clothing and it's not where

can we get the proper outfit preferably

and cotton candy because that color is

so right with my hair cool there are no

questions what are we waiting for

oh yeah one more thing those barrels are

filled with the most stinky the most

noxious substances known to humankind

yeah that's right we're talking major

stink bombs you mean worse than Owens

parts yes yes it is

yo shut

why can't you handle this I'm busy

good luck just this time you're really

gonna need it look at what matches my

toenails that one matches my eyes

shouldn't an uber eat like you know

which wire to cut

shouldn't an uber delinquent like you

know how to diffuse a stink b*mb oh yeah

this Alliance is working gangbusters

I'll email tip to my lawyers most sharks

will have a b*mb expert back to me

within my nobody sends Cortney an

out-of-office reply especially not when

I'm paying them 20% of my settlement

okay brain now's the time to bring it

eenie meenie miney mo mai niemi nemo

brain don't be messing with me now

[Music]

besides if the b*mb goes off its d*ck

including you

you make a good point

[Music]

yeah heart you can start pumping again

save the celebration we still have six

more barrels and only 53 more seconds

[Music]

[Music]

bring this just might be the start of a

beautiful friendship

hold up if we cut the wires then why am

I still here in tickets

brain we are sold what obviously we're

not gonna wire each b*mb exactly the

same way that would be way too easy for

our production crew and no fun for me

the vitamin C in the tomatoes boosts

collagen improve skin texture firmness

and tone with this hideous facial

deformity I'll need all the help I can

get sister it's also dinner excuse me

don't I get a D stinking bath too you'll

get the juice would you mix the 50/50

split not on your life you wish okay

then have a nice life with everyone

shutting you fine deal's off

everybody having fun yet

guardian Lindsey as the winners of the

first and second challenges you get the

reward an all-expense-paid trip to Paris

New York what it's the place where

magical dreams happen nice try but no

it's an all-expense-paid trip to a local

cheese factory wall on tour you'll get

to sample all the Jesus of the world

from blue cheese to green cheese to

headcheese which isn't technically a

cheese but reeks just the same great

Cortney we have to cut the cheese

together one I'm lactose intolerant - I

don't like you I can't reach my lawyers

so they can get me

hey Chris how long do we have to soak

until the stink wears off the teams are

no more let's see how these stinkers do

on their own next time

[Music]