05x06 - No One Eggspects The Spanish Opposition

[bunniefuu]

Chris:

Last time,

On "total drama all-stars":

The island was bathed

In a rare blue harvest moon

That turns normally sweet

Creatures into pure evil!

Totally unsafe to be out

After dark in that.

So, I made it

A night challenge.

(Chuckles)

As they raced,

Heather pretended to be

Affected by the moon,

While cam and his broken specs

Got ditched by mike!

Or was it mike?

In the end,

The villains won again,

And cameron volunteered

To be the homebound hero

For reasons unknown.

(Coughs) sierra. (Coughs)

But in a final twist,

Cameron became

The newest member

Of the villainous vultures!

But that was then

And this is now,

And we can't stop it

So we gotta top it,

Right here on

Total... Drama... All-stars!

♪♪

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be

♪ I wanna be famous

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be

♪ I wanna be famous

(Whistling chorus)

(Camera snaps)

Courtney:

Don't bother.

You won't be around long enough

For it to matter.

(Groans)

With cameron on our team,

The "newbie" target's

Off my back!

Next time we lose,

Four-eyes goes home.

Unless he can't fix

His glasses,

Then he'll be two-eyes.

Still. He's out!

Gwen:

Here, maybe a twist-tie

Would help?

It worked, thanks!

Gwen:

The villain team isn't entirely

Made up of evil people.

You look nerdier

Than before.

I know,

It sounds impossible,

But here you are doing it,

So...

Alejandro:

Heather, please!

I think that he pulls off

A "nerdy look"

With a generous measure

Of dignified flair!

Gwen:

It's mostly made up

Of evil people.

Heather:

Great! They've already bonded!

I hate to say it,

But maybe we should form

A temporary alliance

To avoid being voted off.

Allies?

Agreed. Muah!

Ugh! Gross!

She trusts me.

Ha!

Soon I will have my revenge

For the dishonor

She brought upon

My family name!

Once this gorgeous face is rid

Of that gorgeous face,

I will win it all!

He thinks I trust him.

Ha!

That's his one way ticket

To flushtown!

Hmm...

Apple?

Don't mind if I do.

Glad you're starting

To trust people.

A few days ago,

There's no way

You would've taken that

From me.

I'm surrounded by

So much heroic kindness.

Agh! I think it's starting

To rub off!

(Gasps)

Is that why gwen dumped me?

Whatever!

I'm still bad, just watch!

Aw, come on!

Oh dear, what happened

To duncan's Kn*fe?

(Snoring)

(Clanking)

Tough break.

(Evil snicker)

Sierra:

(Crying)

Zoey:

Sierra, are you okay?

Sierra:

(Sobbing)

Oh, zoey,

I miss cody-cam!

D-do you mean cameron?

That's what I said!

Uh, no, you didn't.

Well, your ears are wrong

And, and so is your face!

(Wailing)

Zoey:

Wait! I didn't mean it!

Agghhh!

Sorry!

So... You okay?

Yeah. Yes. Fine, totally.

Mike:

Cool! Apple?

Zoey:

Aggghhh!

Oh, I can't believe it!

I'm scared of mike

After what he did to cam.

But he's not himself.

The mike I love

Is still in there...

Isn't he?

I can't just abandon him,

Can i?

Oh, what I wouldn't give

For a deck of tarot cards

Right now!

Zoey's pulling away.

Maybe it's for the best.

If I can't control

Who's in charge of me,

Then she might be safer

To stay away.

But I really don't want her to.

(Deep inhale)

Oh, but I do.

(Horn blasts)

Chris:

Get your butts to the dock,

Campers,

It's challenge time!

Welcome, all!

Today's challenge involves

A trip to the fun zone!

(Laughs)

(Noisemaker honks)

Yay!

(Giggles wildly)

What's the catch?

Is the fun zone just a building

That's on fire?

No.

Duncan:

Is it a pit

Full of intestines?

Would that be fun?

You've had it

Kinda rough lately,

So I figured...

Okay, the lawyers figured

You deserve a treat.

But if you'd rather do

Something else...?

Vultures:

No!

Fun zone it is!

Ooh! Here's our ride.

Scott:

I'm back from exile.

Chris:

All aboard!

Duncan:

The fun zone

Is on boney island?

Chris:

Yup! It works better

As a surprise that way.

Heather:

Ugh! I'd forgotten what a dump

This island is!

Come on now.

Maybe someone will finally find

The invincibility statue!

I searched all night!

There is no statue!

Say it!

Yes, there is,

But it's hidden

In the fun zone!

And whoever finds it

Gets to keep it.

Contestants:

Woo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah!

Chris:

Welcome to the outside

Of the fabulous fun zone!

Patent pending.

All right,

Let's move it, people.

Keep a steady pace!

(Monkeys gibber and screech)

(Thunderous thud)

Chris:

You are now in the fun zone.

Aka the most dangerous place

You've ever been!

Your challenge is easy:

Put eggs in a basket.

Eggs found here,

In the fun zone,

Belong to all the terrifying

Mutants from season four,

Who will try to smash

Your bodies and eat you.

Mike:

What is fun about that?!

Um... It's fun to watch?

All we have to do

Is collect the eggs?

You'll be fine.

They're just wild,

Mutated beasts

Trying to protect

Their unborn babies.

How bad can it get?

First team with six eggs

In their basket wins!

What if an egg hatches?

Chris:

As long as you keep whatever

Hatches in your basket,

It counts!

And, as a special bonus,

Whoever collects the most eggs

For the winning team

Gets a special reward!

So? Excited? Huh?

Scott:

(Snoring loudly)

Scott!

(Feedback squeals)

Aaggghhhhh!

Ow!

Duncan:

(Laughs)

I found that funny

Because I'm not a nice person.

That's why I laughed.

'Cause I'm not nice!

Thanks, man.

(Groans, annoyed)

Agh! Goshy-gosh! Poopy face!

Fuzzy slipper!

(Sighs, defeated)

What is wrong with me?!

Even my swears are lame.

Chris:

The red basket belongs

To the villains,

The gold one's for duncan

And the rest of the do-gooders.

I'd wish you all good luck,

But it's bad for ratings,

So... I hope some of you

Get really hurt.

(Horn blasts)

Chris:

Begin!

We should look for eggs

Together!

Uh, we're on

Different teams now.

That doesn't matter!

Why would that matter?!

No! It even doesn't!

(Panting)

Cam-odyyyy!

(Sobs)

Chris:

Is there a psychiatrist

On the island?

You know,

In case of emergencies?

This will get ugly.

(Snoring)

Scott! Are you o-

(Fighting growls)

Agh! Ah! No!

It's me! Stop!

Come on,

Let's find some eggs.

Zoey: aggghhhh!

Mike: (clears throat)

Mike:

Sorry! Didn't mean to spook you.

I know I've been weird lately,

But I feel less...

Scared of myself

When I'm with you.

I feel better

When I'm around you too.

You know, when you're you.

Being around you

Makes me feel

More like the me

I wanna be

When I'm around you...

Being me.

Uh...

Mike and zoey:

(Chuckle)

(Zoey gasps,

Claws snap loudly)

You wanna search

Together for-

Would you like

To pair up-

Sure.

Yeah.

(cr*ck)

Alejandro:

(Gasps)

Heather:

Egg-cellent work, alejandro.

Chris:

First egg goes to the vultures!

Cameron: woo-hoo!

Gwen: yeah!

Chris:

You better get your butts

In gear, hamsters!

Alejandro:

Hang on. What's to stop

The other team

From taking eggs

From our basket?

Chris:

Integrity?

Heather:

So, nothing.

Chris:

I didn't make it a rule

That they can't,

So... I guess they can.

You stay,

Guard the nest.

Alejandro:

You're the boss!

For now.

Zoey:

Shhh... Look!

It's larry,

And he's got an egg.

Which means larry's

Actually a laurie?

Wait here.

When I grab the flower,

Larry'll chase me.

You grab the egg

And head back to the basket.

But what about-

I'll be fine.

Meet you at the basket!

Zoey:

Yeah! Sorry!

(Grunt of effort)

(Screeches)

(Wings b*at)

(Grunts)

Phew! Sorry again!

Sierra:

Duncan! You wanna work together?

And let me call you cody?

No can do!

I'm a lone wolf!

That's how it is

When you're evil.

True evil has no friends!

True evil- whoaaa!

Sweet! And ow!

Zoey:

Hurry! Put it in the basket!

Mike:

(Grunts of effort)

Uh-oh...

(Splat)

Mike: oh...

Zoey: oh!

Chris:

(Whistles innocently)

And the score is one all!

Zoey: yes!

Mike: sweet!

Yeah! One for the good guys.

I mean bad guys!

Zoey:

Can you stay

And guard our basket?

Otherwise...

Duncan:

Hmm... Good point.

Zoey:

Thanks, duncan!

Makes sense that

The two biggest villains

Are the ones guarding

The eggs.

Yes. We are like

Two mother hens.

Duncan:

(Deflated sigh)

Aw, man.

(Heavy stomping)

Heather:

Glad I found you.

Alejandro's convincing everyone

To vote for scott

At the next elimination!

Courtney:

What?!

Don't worry,

My vote's for alejandro.

(Cracking)

Chris:

That's two eggs

For the heroes.

(Snarling)

Ugh!

Aw, it thinks

I'm its mommy!

It's adorable!

Yeah. Maybe you should stay

While I go find some more eggs.

Sure.

A mother has to take care

Of her newborn!

It's hard-boiled down

To two eggs for the heroes

And one for the villains,

But the challenge is far

From over easy.

Who will win?

Your quiche is as good as mine.

(Chuckles)

Chris:

Stay tuned

To total drama all-stars!

Yeah, I'm gonna fire

Whoever wrote that.

(Birds screech)

Courtney:

I don't know how you guys put up

With a whole season

Of these weird monsters.

Hey, whatever doesn't horribly

Maim and devour you

Only makes you stronger.

Stay close,

I got your back.

Uh, sorry.

Uh, i, uh...

Whoaaa!

(Shrill scream)

(Girly shriek)

(Creature screeches,

Courtney squeals)

Courtney:

Let! Go! Of! My! Teammate!

Gaah! Yes!

Weirdo gopher egg!

Come on!

Right behind you.

Zoey:

Easy, easy...

Zoey: (gasps)

Mike: aggghhhhhh!

Zoey:

Run!

Chris:

And the villains are up

Four to two!

Heather:

(Pants) phew!

I need a break.

I'll guard the basket

For a while.

Alejandro:

As you wish.

Heather:

Don't get too close -

Alejandro has everyone else

Convinced

To vote off cameron next...

Which is tempting.

Cameron:

Um, I'm right here.

But my vote is for alejandro.

And why should

We trust you?

Heather:

Do what you want, little man,

It's your funeral!

Ugh! I thought you were

Gonna watch the eggs?!

Mike:

(Chuckles)

Sucker!

(Monstrous growl nearby)

Mike and zoey:

(Scream)

Heather:

Shoo! Go bug a hero!

Hmm...

No need to rush to her aid.

Heather:

Agghhh! Oof!

Hello! What have we here?

Alejandro:

(Gasps) no!

No-no-no-no-no!

Hmm...

I can't hold on to the idol;

Someone will see it for sure.

I'll stash it away for now

And go back for it later.

(Chuckles)

Pathetic.

Alejandro:

There you are!

Find any eggs,

Partner?

Actually, I found

The invincibility statue,

But don't bother

Picking my pockets,

I've hidden it away.

Don't suppose

You'll tell me where?

Ha! Don't you worry

Your pretty little head,

It's safe.

Okay, I won't worry

My "pretty head."

Heather:

It's an expression,

And I didn't mean it!

Ooh, wait for me

And my pretty head!

Heather:

Zip it!

Zoey:

So if getting hit in the head

Made you lose contact

With your other personalities,

Would another hit in the head

Bring them back?

Like a reset button!

Worth a try.

(Grimaces)

Do it.

I can't hit you in the head

With a rock!

Maybe cameron will have

A better idea.

Okay.

What is that?

Zoey and mike:

(Gasp)

Chris:

And it's four to three,

Villains!

Check it: I had to fight

A crazy monster

To get this egg.

It was half lion,

Half bear, half poison!

Chris:

Oh. If only there was some way

To go back in time

To see this epic battle.

(Gasps)

That'd be fun!

Oh! What do I have here?

Oh man.

I'm only borrowing

This egg.

I promise I'll bring it back.

(Budgie cries)

Oh, no. No.

Please don't.

(Crying)

Great,

Now you got me crying too!

(Cries and sniffles)

When do you punch the budgie

In the face?

I'm bringing you back

For the next all-star season.

It'll be total sweethearts

Vs. Total bigger sweethearts!

Sweetheart, maybe.

But bigger sweetheart?

No way!

Chris:

The score is still

Four to three villains,

But I see a lot of eggs

Approaching.

It's gonna be a close one!

Courtney:

Woo-hoo!

Chris:

Make that five to three

For the villains.

It's okay, cody one.

It's okay, cody two.

Hooshie-booshie-booshie.

Ow!

You know,

We should only bring back

The sane contestants.

Courtney:

What is that?

Zoey:

Nearly there.

Come on, faster!

Mike and zoey:

(Panting)

Sierra:

Yeah! Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo!

Woo-hoo!

Courtney:

Heather! Throw the egg!

Hurry!

It's our only chance!

Zoey:(gasps)

Mike: no!

Courtney:

(Screams and gasps)

Cameron:

(High-pitched squeals of pain)

Courtney:

Oh, come on!

No!

Chris:

Ooh! Tough break

For team villain.

Mike and zoey:

(Grunts of effort)

Seventeen to five,

The heroes win!

Hamsters:

(Cheering) yeah, heroes!

Woo-hoo!

Now, before we head home,

Did anyone leave

Anything behind

That they'd like

To go get?

Come to mama!

Come on,

Why can't i...

(Gasps)

Heather:

(Infuriated growl)

You took it!

I know you did!

I have no idea

To what you are referring.

All aboard!

Of course chris took

My invincibility statue!

Who else?!

You with your see-all cameras

Everywhere?!

Well, whatever!

I am not the one going home

Tonight,

That I promise you!

I have to protect zoey

At all costs.

(Grunts,

Long deep inhale)

(Evil laughter)

Bravo, mike!

That should keep him quiet

For awhile.

(Whistling

"Dance of the sugar plum fairy")

Der, I'm mike.

(Evil laughter)

Ow. Where am-

Aggghhhh! Oh!

Oh no... Oh no!

No-no-no-no-no!

Noooooooo!

Courtney:

Hey! (Grunts)

Gwen:

Shhh! Quiet.

Look, I ended it

With duncan

And I am done putting boys

Ahead of friendships.

Tell me how to vote tonight

And I'll do it, I swear.

Courtney:

(Unintelligible whisper)

Chris:

Congrats on the victory,

Heroes.

Zoey, since you tipped

Over a dozen eggs

Into your team's basket,

You win a special prize

That'll come in handy

At the next challenge.

But I'm keeping it a secret

'Til then.

I mean why spoil the surprise?

Tonight,

A villain goes home.

Time to vote!

And this is only

Because I can't vote for chris!

She is beautiful,

Isn't she?

Chris:

I've tallied the votes,

And tonight's flushee is...

Alejandro!

Heather: ha!

Alejandro: oh!

I do not think

I'm leaving.

Oh yeah? Really?

Why is that?

(Everyone gasps)

I've got diplomatic

Immunity!

Vultures:

(Gasp)

Just immunity,

Alejandro.

You?! You!

Youuuu!

Chris:

Hate to interrupt during such

A well thought-out argument,

But the only vote that wasn't

For alejandro was for you,

You, youuu!

So you are getting flushed.

Heather:

Noooo...

...oooooo!

Such beauty a toilet

Has never seen.

Chris:

And who's heading

To boney island?

Mal:

I'll go.

(Whistling

"Dance of the sugar plum fairy)

(Boat engine rumbles)

(Gasps)

I know that tune!

Oh man,

I knew mike seemed familiar.

When I was a lowly punk

In juvee,

He was running the place.

But back then,

His name was mal...

And he is bad news.

Alejandro:

Now that I have avenged

The shame you once caused me,

The slate is clean.

We can start fresh.

After all,

We are a perfect couple.

Whaaaaa!

(Splash)

Let's do this!

(Beep)

Aagggghhhh!

(Splash)

Four heroes

And five villains remain.

Who's next to be thrown home

From the throne?

Find out when we return

With more

Total... Drama... All-stars!