05x17 - I Love You, I Love You Knots

[bunniefuu]

Chris:

Last time on "total drama":

The teams went wild

With balloon animals -

And not the kind you think!

But in the end,

Team gih-noh-say-wuk went bust

And for the first time,

They had to send a member home.

So amy told everyone

That samey was lamey,

But samey posed as amy,

So amy took the blamey!

Shamey on samey!

Now let's start

The gamey!

It's time for

Total drama pahkitew island!

♪♪♪

♪ I wanna be...

I wanna be... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be...

I wanna be... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

(Whistling chorus)

Jasmine:

(Yawns)

Samey:

Hey, you going foraging

Without me?

Gee, amy. You've never gone

Foraging with me before.

That was something samey did.

I.e. Not you.

(Imitating amy)

Right. I mean, foraging? Ew!

I'd rather wear those shorts!

Jasmine:

There's the amy I know.

C'mon then.

I'm cool that jasmine knows

I'm not amy

Because we're pals!

As for everyone else,

I have to sound and look

Like my sister.

Shawn:

Hi-yah!

And that's how you

Hunt berries.

Dave:

I guess that's one way.

Jasmine:

Hey, shawn,

Wanna pick with us?

Dave:

Whoa!

I think that was a no.

You know how dating works?

First comes love,

Then comes marriage,

Then comes your brain

Being eaten by a zombie baby

That was hiding

In your pillow.

Call me crazy,

But I think outback

Amazon jasmine

With the cool accent

Has a thing for zombie nut

Shawn who doesn't bathe.

This place is weird.

Scarlett:

Careful! Raccoon poop.

(Romantic music plays)

(Echoes) are you all right?

Your vacant stare suggests

Some manner

Of neurological arrest.

How'd scarlett know

I don't like stepping in poop?!

Of course it means something -

Love!

Aw, but I can't hurt

Jasmine again!

She'll be devastated!

Samey:

Hey, rodney. Berries?

Uh... If you don't like

Berries...

We did find some nuts...

Amy says "hey"?

I say "hey" all the time!

Love is an arrow you can't dodge

And I am pierced!

(Gasps)

I've got girlfriends?!

Which of my true loves

Is my truest love?!

Rodney:

Is it just me,

Or does amy pick

Way better berries than samey?

(Frustrated growl)

Pretty sure they're the same.

Scarlett:

Perhaps you had an involuntary

Gustatory association

With samey

And unpleasant tastes.

Max:

Indeed!

Her hideous

Mal-proportioned face

Was spoiling the fruit!

Samey:

(Frustrated growl)

(Mic feedback squeals)

Chris: morning, campers!

It's time to start today's

Fun activity,

So get your butts

Over to the meeting area

Toute suite!

(Chuckles)

Chris:

Step right up, players!

Team gih-noh-say-wuk

To the right,

Team mu-skwuk to the left.

I'm saving you a seat,

Sugar!

At times my friendship with

Sugar has seemed tumultuous,

But I think

It's getting better.

I. Hate. Her.

Sugar:

I know what you're up to,

Singy-pants!

Gals who sit on the end

Always get less camera time.

Push over!

Oof! But I wasn't-

(Chuckles)

Nice try, ella.

Save your power plays

For the game.

But... All right.

It's time we separated

The brave from the liars.

Chris:

The game is truth or scare!

Topher:

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Sounds nasty!

Once again, chris,

You've delivered the goods!

If I had a hat,

It would be off to you!

Yes.

Thank you, topher.

Now then... Every round,

A player is chosen at random.

It also chooses whether you'll

Be doing a truth or a scare.

Halo means truth,

Flames mean scare.

Get a scare and you'll have to

Perform a terrifying challenge!

(All gasp)

Don't worry, not all the scares

Will be scary.

Some will be disgusting!

(Whirring)

But in this case,

Amy has gotten a truth.

Chris:

This means she just has

To answer a question honestly.

But the answer will be

Revealing.

It will expose a dark secret

That could destroy her

In the eyes of her

Newly found friends!

Or not.

Whateves.

How will you know

If we're telling the truth?

For that,

We spared no expense.

Meet clucky,

The truth-seeking chicken!

No lie gets past this bird.

She's former cia

And runs her own law firm:

Buck, buck and bugawk.

If you have a secret,

This poultry polygraph

Will pluck it out.

Clucky:

Buck-bawk!

Chris:

Completing a challenge

Or telling a truth

Gets your team a point.

But if you fail a challenge

Or tell a lie,

Your whole team

Gets a shock.

Um, what do you mean

By shock?

Also, what are these metal

Collars chef's putting on us?

You just answered

Your question.

But let me make it

Even clearer...

(Fizzling,

Everyone yelps and screams)

Jasmine:

You tested these, right?

Yep, I just did...

And you're still alive.

Congrats.

Let's start the game!

Amy?

(Amy gulps)

Clucky: bawk-bawk-bugawk?!

Are you kidding?!

I'm a walking lie!

Ugh! I should have known

They had a polygraph chicken!

Chris:

Amy, who do you dislike most?

Bawk-baaawk bawk?

Okay-okay!

The person I hate most is...

(Cringing)

Amy!

All:

(Shocked gasps)

Buck-bawk?

(Then) buck-bawk.

Chris:

Clucky says...

That was a truth.

Topher:

You hate yourself?

Deep.

Care to explain, amy?

Samey:

Well... I... Uh...

Jasmine:

I'll explain it!

Jasmine, no, please-

Jasmine:

The truth is...

That samey...

Is not your fault, amy.

Don't hate yourself

For your sister's shortcomings.

You did what you could.

Topher:

No one's blaming you

For samey's weirdo-ness.

That girl was all bun -

No hotdog.

Reeked of failure!

(Sighs)

Okay. Okay.

Enough. I feel... Much better.

Thank you.

And next we'll have...

Rodney!

Chris:

Doing another truth!

And the question is...

In your opinion,

Who is the most attractive girl

On the island?

(Gasps)

Clucky:

Bugawk!

Uh, could I get

A different question?

I can't hurt those gals

Like that!

Just look at those

Loving faces!

You're running out of time,

Rodney.

I... Eh... Um... Uh...

If I pick one,

The others will know

Something's up!

I gotta pick someone else.

Someone so deranged

They'll know it's a joke!

But who?!

Duh! It's me!

Rodney:

Huh? Uh, yes!

Perfect.

It's sugar!

Clucky:

Bu-gawk!

(Angry squawking)

(Zapping,

All scream)

Chris:

Liar, liar, rodney's on fire!

I mean electrocuted.

(Chuckles)

And by fire,

That was truth!

Check your chicken!

Your chicken's broken!

Buck-bawk.

(Zapping,

Everyone screaming)

Dang chickens always think

They're smarter than me.

Part of being a good friend

Is knowing

When someone is in need

Of cheering up.

I'm sure rodney thinks

You're the second prettiest.

No shame in that.

Sugar:

What?! I ain't no runner-up!

Ella:

Oh, goodness no.

I was- I was only-

Calm down.

And ella, stop picking fights

With sugar.

But I wasn't.

I just-

Chris:

Up next...

Sky doing a scare!

Sky, to earn a point,

You will have to drink...

An entire jug...

Of mineral water.

Sky:

That's it?!

No problem!

You've got seconds.

Go.

(Small sips,

Gulps)

Dave:

What are you-

Really?!

Ella:

Oh, dear.

Oh my, oh my.

Sugar:

I drink maple syrup

Faster than that!

(Gasps)

Fifteen seconds left!

(All groan)

This is as fast

As I can go!

Shawn:

I got this!

Uh... What's the plan here?

No time!

You wanna win or not?!

It's called thirst-thrashing.

When zombies a comin',

You ain't got time to sip.

Half of it went up her nose,

But that still counts

As drinking!

Team mu-skwuk gets a point,

With ten seconds left!

Well done, sky!

Sky?

You know that feeling you get

When a volcano is about

To go off in your gut

And you have no idea

Which end's gonna blow?

(Stomach gurgles)

Yaaaa...

(Stomach gurgles)

It's a one-one tie.

But it looks like a contestant

Might get blasted off the island

Early...

And we won't even need

The cannon!

Stay tuned to find out

On total drama pahkitew island!

(Stomach gurgles)

(Gulps,

Little burp)

Jasmine:

Huh? I thought you'd get

At least ten feet of air.

Topher:

That's it?! C'mon!

Chris is trying to put on

An entertaining show here!

Chris:

Max! It is truth time!

Ugh! Has this beast

Had its sh*ts?

No. Max, for a point,

What do you fear?

I fear nothing!

(Zapping,

Pained yelps)

(Chuckles) not questioning

Your hosting skills, chris,

But max and rodney lied,

Not the rest of us!

Sorry,

You're a package deal.

Remember,

If one of you tells a lie,

You all pay the price.

And next up we have... Dave!

Sure.

I got nothing to hide.

Chris:

Doing a scare!

(Gulps)

All right, dave.

There are scary scares.

Then there are scarier

Scares.

And then there's this.

For a point, you must...

Kiss a person next to you.

Ever notice walkers look like

They're going for a kiss

Just before they eat

Your brains?!

Well, if it's this

Or a shock,

I guess we may as well...

I mean, if we have to.

Yesssssssssss!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Okay, I mean we need to win

This challenge, so-

Right.

It's not like-

Yeah. It's just

Two people-

Hey! Chitty-chat-chatters!

Clock is ticking!

Sugar:

Quit squawkin'

And start peckin'.

(Stomach gurgles)

(Huge belch)

I can taste your burp

In my eyes!

Chris:

Times up!

And since your lips

Never actually touched-

(Zapping,

Everyone yelps)

Sky:

Sorry, guys. It must've been

The mineral water.

It had nothing to do

With the mineral water.

I belch when I'm nervous.

During tests...

Or when I'm near a guy

I really like-

No. No-no.

I don't like dave.

Well, not like-like.

I don't dislike him, I just-

It-it was the water.

Chris:

Next up... Shawn!

Doing... A scare!

Shawn, for the point,

You must pick your nose

And wipe it on the person

Sitting next to you.

Dave:

No... No! Noooo!

Snot rocket, fire!

Aaaahhhhhhh!

(Splat)

Wow! You are way too good

At that.

Months of practice.

Ya never know.

Yep. I'm okay.

Not freaking out.

Chris:

Impressive barrage, shawn,

But I'm afraid you were

Supposed to pick and wipe,

Not rocket.

Also, you only needed to get

The person next to you,

Not your whole team.

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

At least it fried

The snot off.

Ella:

Well, hello,

My feathered friend!

Ella, if you could change

One thing about yourself,

What would it be?

Hmm... I would change

Whatever is stopping sugar and I

From becoming

The best of friends.

All:

Aww!

I firmly believe

We were meant to be close.

Grrr!

I firmly believe?!

I firmly believe?!

Clucky:

(Scared squawk)

That's pageant talk!

My talk!

You're goin' down,

Missy!

(Gasp)

(Restraining grunts)

Easy!

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

Dave:

What was that for?

Chris:

For scaring clucky.

And after what ella

Just pulled,

I can only assume her answer

Was a lie.

Lie?!

Oh, but i-

Chris:

Enough!

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

From here on in,

I'm gonna suggest better

Team-playing.

Maybe then the score

Will get higher than one-one.

Remember what's at stake:

The losing team will be

Sending someone home...

And I think I know who will be

Sent home if mu-skwuk loses.

Ohhhh.

But hey,

Anything can happen!

It's on

To the lightning round!

Put braces on a beaver.

(Screeching,

Fighting grunts)

(Ding)

If you could only save

One teammate,

Chris:

Who would it be?

(Stuttering in confusion)

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

Chris:

Beautify a bear.

(Ding)

Chris:

Feed an iguana

With your mouth.

Jasmine:

(Disgusted grunts)

(Ding)

(Defeated groan)

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

Chris:

Okay, sugar,

To get a point,

You must take this

Live tarantula and-

(Chomps and gulps)

Whoa! Whoa! Gah...

All you had to do

Was pet it.

Oh. Does this count?

Yeeaahh... Close enough.

Team mu-skwuk gets a point!

(Ding)

After all this pain and anguish,

You're still tied!

Makes it seem like it

Was all for nothing.

And while I could do this

All day -

Seriously,

I mean these are awesome! -

It's time

For the game to end.

(Sighs of relief)

Right after

The sudden death round!

(Cringe in fear)

A player from each team

Will go head to head

In a dual challenge.

Winner's team gets immunity.

Loser's team gets shocked -

And sends someone home.

Not again!

Jasmine:

Hey, this is for the game.

Let's show some support!

Max:

Ugh! Fine!

We believe in you,

You blubbering buffoon!

Please!

Not another truth question!

Please!

Rodney,

In the sudden death round,

Chris:

There are no truths,

Only scares.

Rodney:

Really?! Ha! Woo!

In your face, chicken!

You can never stun me again!

And guess what?!

I live on a farm

And I eat six eggs a day.

Six delicious eggs!

Clucky:

Buck, buck, buck-bawk.

Chris:

Easy, clucky!

Keep it professional.

For team mu-skwuk,

Will be... Ella!

Bring on the scares!

Um, yes,

Bring them, please.

The game is simple.

In each of these bags,

You will find

The opposing team's

Shock remote.

First to untie

The tightly knotted string,

Get the remote,

And shock the opposition

Wins the day.

Go!

Topher, jas, samey and max:

Go, rodney!

You can do it, rodney!

Sky, shawn and dave:

C'mon, ella. Do it, ella!

Sugar:

Shock her, rodney!

Shock her!

Dave:

If he wins,

We all get shocked.

It'd be worth it!

Oh no! My fingers

Are too dang big!

I undid mine easily enough.

Would you like some help?

Ella! Just press the button

And your team wins!

Oh, I can't.

It's just too mean.

Honestly, who could do

Such a thing-

Clucky:

Bwak! Bok!

(Fizzling,

Shocked yelps)

Clucky, no!

He's not worth it!

(Heavy breathing)

(Groans)

Chris:

What an interesting day!

Team mu-skwuk,

As winners of truth or scare,

You gain immunity.

Phew!

Chris:

You also get this week's

Fast food delivery,

Courtesy of humpty dumpty's

Meat shack.

"At humpty's,

All the king's horses

Feed all the king's men."

(Stomachs gurgle)

Heh... Or if you want,

Chef's makin' chicken.

Team gih-noh-say-wuk,

Time to vote one of you

Off the island.

(Disappointed sighs)

Thanks to me,

One of my swell teammates

Is gonna get voted off.

I wonder who?

Dave:

Soo... Crazy day, huh?

I mean, we almost kissed

Back there.

Sky:

Yep. Crazy.

I can't figure her out.

Is she into me or not?

I wish she'd just give me

A sign.

Sky:

(Huge belch)

'Scuse me...

Any sign at all.

Chris:

The following

Team gih-noh-say-wuk members

Are safe:

Topher, jasmine,

Max and amy.

Rodney you could be going home

Because you caused your team

To be shocked repeatedly

By failing to tell

The simple truth.

Scarlett, you could be

Going home

Because, well, 'cause you...

Um... Fine!

It's rodney.

Eat up!

(Dejected sigh)

I'm not surprised

That I'm the one leaving...

After playing with people's

Hearts the way I did.

If you mean by restarting them

Several times, then yes.

Chris:

But since I'm leaving,

I may as well come clean.

Jasmine? Scarlett? Amy?

Please understand...

(Deep breath)

This that you, I mean it's-

There's love-

And raccoon poop and "hey"

With all the shocking bugaawk-

Because chicken eye

Love girl island!

Three! Uh-oh? Yeah!

Hold that thought.

(Flying scream)

I think I just sunk

Someone's battleship!

Ten players left!

Find out which nine get to hang

While one goes bang!

Next time

On total drama pahkitew island!

Chris:

Next time on "total drama":

Our teams smash,

Crash and bash each other

In hopes

Of avoiding elimination.

I can't wait

To see this one!

Ooh! Painful.

Looks like fun, right?

Who will fly from the boom-boom

Buh-bye?

Find out on the next

Total drama pahkitew island!