03x05 - Lucas and Diego

[bunniefuu]

[PLAYING ACOUSTIC GUITAR]

[DOOR OPENS]

- That sounds great. Look out...
- [STOPS PLAYING GUITAR]

Adam Levine.

Hey, look, I got some
good news from the lawyers.

We were finally able to
get your record expunged.

What does... What does that mean?

Well, it means from a legal perspective,

you didn't get drunk and
drive my car into a Wendy's.

I... I didn't know you could just...

make it go away like that.

Well, it took a year and a
half and cost an arm and a leg,

but, you know, top
colleges don't like kids

with felonies on the
record. So, it is what it is.

Right. [SIGHS] I'm sorry.

No, that's not what... [SIGHS]

Look, this is a good thing, Benj.

Now, we never have to think about

that embarrassing day ever again, right?

♪

[VIDEO GAME MUSIC]

Hey, Benji, can you
pause that for a second?

- Yeah, sure. What's up?
- [BEEP]

So, I was just updating my iPad,

and, uh, it synced to the family cloud,

and, obviously, there were
pictures from your laptop on there.

What pictures?

Pictures of shirtless men, pictures
of pantless men, pictures of...

Name an article of clothing,

there was a picture of
a man not wearing that.

Uh... [NERVOUS LAUGH]

Oh... Oh God. Um...

I-I think I know what happened.

I lent my laptop to Lucy,

and she is just completely boy-crazy.

[LAUGHS] Oh, thank God.

Oh, for a second there, I thought...

I mean, not that there's
anything wrong with being gay.

I just never thought my
son would be, you know?

Because I'm not.

Hello, darlings. What are
my two favorite guys up for?

[SIGHS] Morgan, oh my God.

You're gonna die. The
funniest thing just happened.

Oh good. I need a good story.

♪

[BOTTLE SLOSHING]

♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be all right ♪

♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be just fine ♪

♪ Yeah, someone who's been
there before to say right now ♪

♪ 'Cause I just need to hear it ♪

- [CAFE CHATTER]
- [QUIET MUSIC PLAYING]

VICTOR: Uh, so h-how are
things with your uncle?

Still h*m* enough that I
have to wear corduroy around him,

and not chic corduroy.

Rugged corduroy.

Well, uh, how's your mom? H-how are...

How are things at work?

Stop stalling and ask me what
you want to ask me already.

- How's tutoring Benji going?
- There it is!

I'm sitting right here. Am
I supposed to not eavesdrop?

Let's go.

It's just weird that
now you guys are friends,

and he still won't talk to me.

I understand that everyone
thinks that this is what's best

for his recovery, but how bad is it

to talk to the person that cares
about you more than anything?

Victor, I say this with love.

Stop obsessing over Benji

or I'm going to stuff my head

in that coffee grinder
and crank it to .

- ANDREW: If you want my advice...
- BOTH: No.

the best way to get over someone
is to get under somebody else.

I actually agree with
handsome and crude here.

Well, I did download that dating app

- you told me about.
- No way. Really?

[BEEP]

Oh my God. Look at you.

You're four and a
half feet away from me.

Victor, what is this profile?

No picture, no name.

Serial k*ller vibes.

It's just, you know, I'm not
ready to put my face out there yet.

Okay, but you really have to give
people something to work with, so...

- Your name is...
- Diego.

You're strong, dangerous,

wild in bed.

You're weirdly good at this.

- Thank you.
- Okay. Diego.

You're . [TYPING]

Hold on. Let me find a torso
pic that looks like you.

Do you want one of mine?

My phone is, like,
% shirtless selfies.

- Of course, it is.
- Of course, it is.

Of course, it is.

♪

Can you let go of my hand?

Pilar, your parents know about us, okay?

We don't need to hide our love.
On top of that, never letting go.

I need to get out my keys.

- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.

[KEYS JINGLING]

¡Mi familia!

Pilar, inside.

Hey, is everything okay?

- You go home.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa...

You are not welcome here anymore.

PILAR [MUFFLED]: I can't
believe you. Are you kidding me?

What was that? What's going on?

We found these in your room.

You said you weren't having sex.

Okay. I know how it looks,
but we're not. I promise.

Felix doesn't even know I have that.

[SCOFFS] How stupid do you think we are?

If you just calm down
and listen to me...

No, I am done listening to
you. How many times do you think

you can lie to my face? You're grounded.

Now, give me your phone.

Mom, can you tell Dad to chill?

You are under the mistaken
impression that I'm on your side.

You stood there and you
told us no more secrets.

And then, we find these in your room!

Give him your phone, Pilar!

You guys are being so crazy!

Laptop, iPad, and your watch.

- Why her watch?
- Because watches have texting.

It's a Timex.

All right, fine. Just keep
the watch, and go to your room.

[HUFFS]

♪

[INDISTINCT SINGING]

[TEXT NOTIFICATION CHIMES]

♪ Oh oh oh... ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

LUCAS [VOICEOVER]: Love
your headless torso.

Do you have a face to go with it?

VICTOR [VOICEOVER]:
Ha. Look who's talking.

Unless you're a gay sunset
that's learned how to spell,

in which case, I apologize.

[TYPING, BEEP]

LUCAS: Actually, I'm a gay
sunrise, but I accept your apology.

VICTOR: No sunrises for me.
I'm not a morning person.

LUCAS: Look at that. Our
first thing in common.

[TYPING] VICTOR: So,
what do you do for fun?

Wait, what are you doing in my room?

Oh, calm down. I don't care that
you have a Shawn Mendes calendar.

Oh, yeah. I-I just got it as a joke.

Sure. Where's your walkie-talkie?

The one that Felix gave you.

Wait.

Tell me what's going on.

[SIGHS]

Mom and Dad found birth
control in my room.

What? Are you and Felix...

No. I just wanted to be ready if we did.

But, Mom and Dad don't believe me,

and Dad went batshit and took my phone,

so I really need that
walkie-talkie to talk to Felix.

Well, um, just press the button
on the side if you wanna talk...

Okay. I'll figure it out, Victor.
It's a toy for a -year-old.

[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]

LUCAS: So, what do you look like?

VICTOR: I'm cute, but I'm
sure everyone says that.

You're not some
-year-old weirdo, are you?

- [BEEP]
- LUCAS: Don't worry. Not an a* m*rder*r.

But, I'm sure all a* murderers say that.

- [BEEP]
- So, what are you doing right now?

Want to meet at Kooky
Judy's for drag queen bingo?

[MUFFLED BAR MUSIC]

♪

Cool.

Victor?

Benji?

Hey, what are you doing here?

I'm just, uh, meeting someone.

You?

Yeah. Uh, same.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Lucas?

Diego.

♪

I can't believe I meet up with one guy

from this stupid app, and-and it's you.

And I can't believe
you said you're ' "!

I can't believe you used that
torso pic. Whose abs are those?

You're a freshman at
Emory. Figure it out.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Um...

Are you supposed to be going on dates?

I mean, in-in terms of
your, uh, your recovery?

Uh, no, not really.

I just really needed
a distraction tonight.

Oh.

Do you want to talk about it?

I was kind of hoping to forget
about my problems tonight.

Got it. Yeah. Um...

Well, as much as I'd like to, you know,

help you, get your mind off things,

we're not really supposed
to be hanging out.

So...

Well, I mean, Victor and Benji

aren't supposed to be hanging out.

I don't see why...

Lucas and Diego can't.

Just for tonight.

Yeah. Yeah. Just-just for tonight.

Come on, Diego.

That's me. [LAUGHS]

- [WALKIE-TALKIE BEEP, STATIC]
- Hello?

- Felix? Are you there?
- [STATIC]

FELIX [OVER WALKIE-TALKIE]:
Yeah, I'm here. I was worried.

Are you okay? Over.

I'm fine. Over. Okay,
yeah, I'm not doing that.

Let's just talk like normal people.

Okay. Um, Pilar, what's going on?

- [SIGHS]
- [CLICK]

My parents found birth
control in my room.

What? Okay, uh...

Okay, why do you have birth
control if we're not even...

Do I not know how sex works?

[CLICK]

I just wanted to be prepared.

I mean, we're in love, and...

it seemed like things
were headed that way, so.

Yeah, definitely. I
mean, you know, I-I-I...

I was kind of, yeah, I was... I
was definitely having high hopes...

for that. Uh... I mean,
when you're ready. Of course.

Um... Did you explain
that to your parents?

I mean, not the, you know,
heading that way part,

but the Felix-isn't-having-sex-
with-their-daughter part.

- [CLICK]
- I tried to, but they think I'm lying.

- [CLICK]
- Yeah. Yeah, I get that.

- [CLICK]
- What? Whose side are you on?

FELIX: Hey, I'm on... I'm on
no one's side. Okay, I just...

I understand why they don't believe you.

We lied to them for weeks about us.

♪

- [CLICK]
- Hey, uh, you know, would it, um...

would it help if we just...

take a step back for a b*at?

[CLICK]

What do you mean, take a step
back? Like, not see each other?

I mean, yeah, just for,
like, a-a couple days,

- you know, until your, um, dad cools off.
- [CLICK]

He may never cool off. He's
a deeply uncool human being.

Okay, look, the only thing I know

is that they took me in when
I had nowhere else to go.

They're like a second
family to me. I-I-I...

I can't mess this up
more than we already have.

- [STATIC]
- Pilar?

- Pilar, are you there? Over?
- [STATIC]

- Over.
- [BEEP]

DRAG QUEEN: All right, honey,
welcome to Kooky Judy's!

- Y'all having a good time? Yes!
- [CHEERING]

And our first number is B .

That's what I tell all my
boyfriends, honey. Be .

- I ! Unlucky for some.
- Um...

Are you sure y-you're
okay with all this?

With-with everyone drinking?

You mean can I go to a restaurant?

DRAG QUEEN: Everyone's
favorite vitamin, B !

Yeah.

I-I'm sorry. I... I just...

don't know what your triggers are.

Besides me.

DRAG QUEEN: G . I see you're
up to the same old tricks...

Am I being awkward? I feel
like I'm being really awkward.

Let's just keep things light.

Okay? Lucas. Diego.

DRAG QUEEN: I .

I also like , but
that's a different game.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay, Lucas.

- What did you major in?
- Music.

Oh. My ex-boyfriend was a musician.

- Mm. Sounds dreamy.
- Yes.

Very dreamy.

He was my first boyfriend and...

my first love.

My first...

You know.

DRAG QUEEN: B ! Don't
you ask me my weight!

Uh, did you have anyone
special like that?

- [ICE CLINKING]
- Nah. I only dated duds.

- [LAUGHS]
- DRAG QUEEN: N !

Honey, I'm N anyone who's N me!

Beggars can't be choosers, am I right?

- [LAUGHTER]
- Bingo!

- DRAG QUEEN: Oh! Damn!
- [SIREN, APPLAUSE]

- [CHEERING]
- Get your pretty young tush on up here!

- I got a prize for you.
- [LAUGHS]

Oh...

You look even better up close.

You look like one of those
teenage movie vampires.

All pale and horny.

- [GIGGLES]
- [CHEERING]

Here's your prize.

Oh, I'm actually sober.

Well, good for you.
[LAUGHS] Even better for me.

I can't believe you won.

Uh, can we get out of here?

Uh... yeah.

♪

[SNIFFS]

[KEYS JINGLING]

[DROPS KEYS]

[UNLOCKS CAR]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[SCRAPES GROUND]

[MACHINE BEEPING]

- [INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
- [GROANS]

- Oh, Charles.
- Benji.

- MARGARET: Thank God.
- CHARLES: We were so scared.

What were you thinking?

I was thinking I...

[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]

I can't do this anymore.

♪

There's something you
should know about me.

Benji, are... are you okay?

It's like you've barely said
a word since we left bingo.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

I just, uh...

My dad pulled some strings...

finally got my car accident
taken off my record.

W-which I guess is...

a good thing.

It's just bringing up a lot of memories.

Yeah.

I didn't mean to make it heavy.

No, it... it's okay.
I-I'm fine with heavy.

I-I have so much I want to ask you.

We never even talked about rehab.

Yeah. It was intense.

But, good intense.

[DISTANT SIREN]

I learned that I have...

a lot of anxiety, and
drinking is how I cope.

You have anxiety? Dude, you're Benji.

Nothing ever gets you.

Tricked ya. [SIGHS]

What makes you anxious?

It's more like what doesn't.

I just can't shake this feeling
that no matter what I do,

I'm going to end up
disappointing someone.

Well...

y-you've never disappointed me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Not once.

You're just saying that.

But, the thing is, like, I'm not.

Look...

I'm not trying to mess
with your recovery.

But...

maybe us hanging out together

could be good for you.

As friends or as more than friends.

Are you sure...

that I-I'm one of the
things that you have to...

stay away from?

Honestly, I don't know
what's good for me anymore.

I'm just listening to the
experts and my parents,

and they're telling me to keep my life

as manageable and simple
as possible right now.

♪

And we are a lot of things, Victor.

And I'm not sure simple is one of them.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I-I get it.

Good night, Victor.

- [INSECTS CHIRPING]
- [QUIET THUD]

[THUD]

[TAPPING]

What are you doing?

If your parents found out you were here,

we could be in serious trouble.

What they don't know won't hurt them.

W-what are you doing?

I just figured

if we're going to be punished for it,

we might as well do it.

Do...

what... [AWKWARD LAUGH]

exactly?

Mm. Mm. Wait, Pilar, wait.

Why? Is your mom home?

No. No, no, no, no, no. Um,
she's, uh, out with Stuart.

I just... You know, I'm not...

Just not sure about this.

Well,

maybe I can make you a little more sure.

Wow. Uh, yeah, you are beautiful.

[LAUGHS]

Mm...

Wait... Pilar, just stop.

- What is your problem?
- Hey, hey. There's no problem.

I just didn't picture
this being our first time.

I just don't think we should be
having sex to spite your parents.

That's not what this is.

I just...

I feel you pulling away,

and one minute, we're
taking a step back.

The next minute, we'll be breaking up.

♪

You seemed like you were
excited about having sex one day,

so I thought if we did, it'd just...

- I just didn't want to lose you.
- Yeah, no. Pilar, you're not losing me.

And I'm so excited. No. No, no, no.

Hey, Pilar, can we please
just talk about this?

[SIGHS]

♪

[SIGHS]

Okay, Benji, get some rest.

We are just so glad to have you home.

Okay. So get settled, and we'll
bring you something to eat.

- Thanks.
- Okay.

[DOOR CREAKS]

[SIGH, GRUNTING]

CHARLES: What are we gonna do?

MARGARET: You need to do better.
He needs to feel your support.

I don't understand where we went wrong.

MARGARET: We didn't go
wrong. Lots of people are gay,

- and they live wonderful, complete lives.
- CHARLES: It's more than that.

Who-who's this kid?
He's a terrible student.

He's got a drinking problem.

He's not the son I pictured.

♪

[KNOCKING]

Mr. Campbell? Hey, wh-what's going on?

Hi, Victor. I'm sorry
to come by unannounced,

but I was, um, hoping
you and I could talk.

Uh, yeah, sure. Come in.

This will only take a second.

I saw you and Benji saying
good night outside of our house,

and I'd really prefer if
you wouldn't see him anymore.

Uh...

Look, I know everyone is
worried about him, but...

Worried?

I wish I was worried. I'm terrified.

♪

My son almost d*ed in a
drunk driving accident,

and just a few months ago, he
was driving drunk again with you.

The problems in your relationship
caused him to relapse.

We don't know that for sure.

All high school relationships
have their ups and downs,

but you and Benji...

Months of fighting. And
then, he-he sees you dancing

with another boy at the wedding,
and he-he drives straight home

to raid my liquor cabinet.

I know you don't mean to, but
whenever you're around, you...

[SIGHS] you create chaos.

You're not good for him, Victor.

And if you really cared
about Benji, you'd stay away.

♪

[KNOCKING]

Hey.

You okay?

♪ We built a fire in the snow ♪

You?

No.

Felix needs Mom and Dad to be okay
with him more than he needs me.

I know you're his best friend,
so you'll probably take the side.

You're my sister.

I'll always have your
back. No matter what.

♪ You have to sow the seed... ♪

Thank you.

♪ And watch it grow ♪

What's up with you?

♪ Everywhere I go, all I ever see... ♪

I...

realized I'm bad for Benji.

♪ People that I know only ever speak ♪

And I'll probably never be with him.

♪ Like everything is
heading for catastrophe ♪

♪ There's nothing I can do... ♪

Here. Have a fish.

♪ Even if I could rewrite the history ♪

♪ It's clear to see ♪

♪ That I'd still be ♪

♪ Loving ♪

♪ You... ♪

♪ Loving ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Loving ♪

♪ You... ♪

♪ Loving you... ♪