04x10 - Mother Mae-Eye

[bunniefuu]

[GROANS]

How did I? Hey, I'm hungry.

Me too. Me three.

Make it four. But who is going to feed us?

MAE-EYE: Hello, sweeties.

Now that we've all had a nice nappy-wappy...

...what would my hungry little ones like to eat?

Pie. Pie.

Pie. Pie.

Pie!

ALL: Thank you, Mother Mae-Eye.

[MAE-EYE LAUGHS]

You're ever so welcome, my children.

And remember, Mother loves you.

MAE-EYE: Oh, this drab and dreary tower will never do.

My little ones must be surrounded by sugar and spice...

...and everything nice.

Shoes? On the floor?

[LAUGHS]

Oh, dear. Where would these children be without their mother?

MAE-EYE: Uh-uh-uh.

Mother's little Beast Boy is too young to tie his own shoesies.

Thank you, Mother Mae-Eye.

They're "pie-licious. "

Of course they are. Mother bakes them with love.

Now, children, eat as much as you like, but we mustn't be messy.

Cyborg needs his bibby-wibby.

And little Raven has crumblies all over her face.

[LAUGHS]

[GIGGLING]

Thanks, Mother Mae-Eye. Thanks, Mother Mae-Eye.

Oh, Robin, you poor dear.

You'll never tame that unruly hair without help from Mother.

I love you, Mother Mae-Eye.

No squirming now, dear.

Mother must get out all your nasty nose boogies.

Please. This is not normal.

I have long been capable of removing my own boogers.

Nonsense, sweetie.

Mother has always been here to take care of little Starfire's nosey-wosey.

And eat more pie.

Thank you, Mother.

[ALARM SOUNDS]

[ SOU S]

Sweet Marlene, what in the world is that?

Trouble.

And just where do my sweeties think they're going?

On a mission. We have to protect the city.

Goodness, no. Too dangerous.

Mother does not approve.

Besides, you don't really want to leave me, do you?

But no one's ever stopped us from going on missions before.

Yeah. We've saved the city hundreds of times.

And you never... You were never... Who wants pie?

[ALL GROAN]

STARFIRE: No. Our mission.

Oh, very well.

You can all go outside and play, but only once Mother says you're ready.

Now, let's see. We'll need a wooly sweater in case Twinkle Star gets chilly.

A cute bunny suit-y so Beasty-Boo doesn't have to change into all those ugly animals.

And a pretty, pretty dressy-poo for Mother's little Ray-Ray.

Just because you're evil on the inside...

...doesn't mean you can't look pretty on the outside.

I'm already dressed for if it rains, Mother.

Yes, dear, but did you remember to clean your room?

[GRUMBLING]

Clean...

The signal sounded 15 minutes ago. We need to get moving.

e s g a sou ded 5 utes ago. e eed to get o g.

What we need to do, young man, is get rid of all these dangerous toys.

It's all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.

There now. Is everyone ready?

ALL: Yes, Mother.

MAE-EYE: Whee!

Ah! JINX: Ugly. Tacky.

Be honest. Does this make me look more grown up?

Uh-huh.

Man, I love crashing the mall.

[LAUGHS]

I can see why.

Sir, yes, sir! Private H.I.V.E.'s new motorcycle was originally half off...

...but with my five-finger discount, it is free.

And it looks like the scuz-sniffing Titans aren't even gonna try to stop us.

No way.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Nice ears. Love the hair.

Who dressed you guys, your mother?

Play nice, dears.

Mother will be back to pick you up in 20 minutes.

[CAR HORNS HONKING & TIRES SCREECHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Titans, go!

H.I.V.E. Five, eat them alive!

. . . . e, eat t e a e!

Good thing you wore your raincoat.

[GRUNTING]

Too tight.

Can't transform. GIZMO: But I can.

Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow!

You're out of style, and out of luck.

Oh!

You are not the only one with powerful eyes.

Yeah, but I bet I'm the only one with see-through vision.

[GASPS]

Huh?

Huh?

Looks like that belt's only good for one thing.

You think they'd let us call time out?

MAE-EYE: These children deserve more than a time out.

They need a good, sound spanking!

[THUD]

[THUD]

[THUD]

GIZMO: Run. PRIVATE: She took my shield.

MAMMOTH: She's crazy.

Oh, dear, did Twinkle Star get a boo-boo on her noggin?

Don't cry, sweetie. Mother's here.

Mother will always be here.

ot e a ays be e e.

MAE-EYE: Mother's little Twinkle Star is awfully quiet back there.

Is everything hunky-dory?

Yes, Mother. I am just pouty-wouty because we were not victorious in battle.

MAE-EYE: Mother told you going out to play was dangerous, little ones...

...and look what happened.

Those nasty children were meanie-poops...

...and Mother had to come and save her babies.

Yeah, we won't ever go on one of those stupid ol' missions again.

You won't have to, sweetie.

From now on, you'll all stay home with Mother. Forever.

Now, who wants more pie?

We love you, Mother Mae-Eye.

I know, sweeties.

Mother loves you too.

Five o'clock, little ones, time for beddy-bye.

Good night, Beasty-Boo. Good night, Mother.

Good night, Ray-Ray. Good night, Mother.

Good night, Borgy-Bear. Good night, Mother.

Good night, Robbie-Wobbie. Good night, Mother.

Good night, Twinkle Star.

Good night, Mother.

[ALL SNORING]

Friends, awaken. Alarm.

Mother Mae-Eye is not truly our mother but an evil witch who has tricked us...

ot e ae ye s ot t u y ou ot e but a e tc o as t c ed us...

...and invaded our home, forbidden our missions, stolen our boogers...

...and keeps us under her spell with frequent and plentiful helpings of enchanted pie.

[PANTING]

So, what now?

I think she's saying she wants more pie.

I am saying that Mother Mae-Eye does not belong here.

Of course she does, Starfire.

Mother's always been here. She takes care of us.

And Mother loves us, and we love her.

[ALL SNORING]

[MAE-EYE LAUGHS]

MAE-EYE: Just look at them, so snuggly and warm.

And they really do love me.

Love, love, love. I love love.

Love keeps children close, and love keeps Mother strong.

[LAUGHING]

And now that they couldn't possibly love me more...

...I can extract all their sweet, nourishing affection...

...by baking them with love.

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[ALL SNORING]

My friends are not pie!

y e ds a e ot p e!

Ah!

ROBIN: Starfire, stop! Why are you hurting Mother?

Look at her. Can you not see?

She is not our mother. She is a horrible, mean...

Ah!

Bad, bad, Twinkle Star.

Mother's naughty girlie stayed up past her bedtime.

And Mother must punish. Mother, wait. She didn't mean to...

Nighty-night.



[ALL SNORING]

MAE-EYE: Well, well, well.

Looks like Little Miss Cranky Pants hasn't been eating enough pie.

[STARFIRE GRUNTING]

You...

Zorb-morking klorbag! Your evil plans shall fail.

What evil plans, sweetie?

Everything Mother does, she does out of love.

Yes, Mother. I love you too.

That's my good little Twinkle Star. Now you can have all the pie you like.

Blah.

Never have I been so thankful to have nine stomachs.

[ALL GROANING]

Mother, I'm too toasty.

And I want a glass of water.

d a t a g ass o ate .

Not now, children. Mother's busy making things pretty.

Besides...

...it'll all be over very soon.

[MAE-EYE LAUGHS]

Come back! Mother! Please.

[GASPS]

You broke Mother's cookies.

BOTH: Ooh.

Please, friends, you must believe me.

A bump on the cranium has allowed me to see Mother for what she really...

ALL: You're gonna get in trouble. You're gonna get in trouble.

You're gonna get in trouble. You're gonna get in trouble.

You're gonna get in trouble. You're gonna get in trouble.

- You're gonna get in trouble. Forgive me.

You're gonna get in trouble. You're gonna get in...

[ALL GROANING]

What did you do that...?

Why am I in a giant pie?

Why am I in a bunny suit? Why am I in a dress?

CYBORG: Who's been redecorating my tower?

Perhaps I could explain later.

Titans, go!

[SPEAKING INCANTATION]

[WHISTLES]

[ S S]

[GROWLING]

[ROARS]

Dude, if there's candy everywhere, how come our house smells like old lady?

I still don't get how we got into this mess.

I remember seeing Mother for the first time...

...right after Cyborg brought home a pie.

Where did you get the pie?

Um...

CYBORG: I was walking past a dark alley at night...

...and there was this weird old gypsy who says:

GYPSY: Mystical items at reasonable prices.

CYBORG: So I'm like, " Cool, what should I get? Brain in a jar? Monkey's paw?

Ooh, pie. "

Seemed like a good idea at that time.

All right, Titans. We know how Mother Mae-Eye got into our lives.

Now we need to think of a way to get her out.

MAE-EYE: I'm afraid there is no way out, sweetie.

Mother will always be here to take care of you...

...whether you like it or not!

[LAUGHING]

Titans, move!

MAE-EYE: You ungrateful little monsters.

I treated you like my own children and this is how you repay me?

I cooked, I cleaned, I slaved over a hot stove.

coo ed, c ea ed, s a ed o e a ot sto e.

[GRUNTING]

I tied your shoes, and wiped your filthy faces.

I took care of you, and I did it all because of love.

I love you, children, and I'm gonna make you love me, no matter how much it hurts.

Let us go, you crazy... Sorry, dear.

You didn't say "Mother Mae-Eye. " Now open wide.

Lady, you are not my mother.

Oh, my eyes!

[GRUNTS]

That's it. You're all grounded.

I never knew I could feel this much hatred for a pastry.

Pie, pie, pie! I hope I never see another pie as long as I live.

Actually, I could use a little pie right now.

Robin?

If pie is what got her into the tower, then pie is how we're going to get her out.

Oh, children?

Come out, come out, wherever you are. Huh?

We're so sorry we made you angry, Mother.

We don't know what came over us.

But then we found some of your delicious pies.

And now we feel all better.

ALL: We love you, Mother Mae-Eye.

Please, may I have the hug?

Of course, sweetie. Mother always has a hug for her little...

Now!

[MAE-EYE GRUNTING]

Ah!

Nobody loves me!

So she's trapped in the pie? Yeah, sure. Why not?

And what are we to do with this evil confection?

We could eat it.

I'm just kidding.

Mostly. I have a better idea.

All right, what sort of pit-munching scuzwad...

...is dumb enough to prank the H.I.V.E. Five?

Cool. Free pie.

ALL: Mm-mm.

[ALL GROANING]

Eat as much as you like, sweeties.

There's plenty more where that came from.

And remember, Mother loves you