01x07 - Wine & Headlines

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grand Crew". Aired: December 14, 2021 to present.*
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A group of friends unpack the ups and downs of life and love at a wine bar.
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01x07 - Wine & Headlines

Post by bunniefuu »

Man, hindsight is / .

Faith is blind.

It's hard moving forward

when you can't get over
what's been left behind.

At times, my purpose has become
harder and harder to find.

It's wild in the wilderness,

but Black, man, Black is a vibe.

Black is dope.

Black is doing the impossible

while balancing a tightrope.

Black is feeling so low

but still having high hopes.

Black is the love and beauty
that's often forgotten.

Black is dreaming
of your ancestors' strength.

And knowing that giving up
is never ever...

an option.

♪ Whoo, whoo ♪

♪ Cabernet and Sauvignon ♪

♪ The team is here and now it's on ♪

♪ Carry on and carry on,
sippin' on Pérignon ♪

♪ Fine wine got notes like a cello ♪

♪ Pull up in the spot like, "Hello" ♪

♪ If I got me, then I got you ♪

♪ This is the vibe, this is the crew ♪

♪ Grand Crew, Grand Crew, oh ♪

♪ Grand Crew, Grand Crew,
Grand Crew, oh ♪

♪ Grand Crew ♪

[AMBIENT MUSIC]

So anyone need another glass of wine

to deal with this crappy news day?

Yes, please.

You talking about that thing
with that Black dude in Texas?

Oh, no, I was talking about
the mom in Florida.

I thought you were talking
about the verdict

in the Fresno trial.

- What was the verdict?
- What do you think?

- Oof.
- You know what?

I'm gonna get us each our own
bottle of wine.

- Yes, please.
- Yes.

I'll never say no to a bottle.

But y'all would be doing a lot better

if you just tuned out the news like me.

The only thing on my feed today
was this cat

that they taught to use chopsticks.

You would not believe
what chopstick cat can grab.

I'm not sure
that's the best way to deal.

But it's cool... we all have
our own ways of coping.

For me and Noah,
we have Bad-Black-News brunch.

Bad-Black-News brunch?

- Y'all start a podcast?
- No, it's just...

When the news gets like this,
I take Noah out to a big brunch

- to help him cope.
- Yeah, and it's the best.

I'm talkin' big mimosas, big pancakes,

and teeny tiny oysters.

And it's all courtesy of Nicky.
And it honestly helps.

And that's where y'all
record the podcast?

What? No, guys, there is no podcast.

It's just a brunch.

Anything can be a podcast.

- Just bring a mic with you.
- He's right.

And if y'all don't record it,
somebody else will.

But it's cool that y'all do
that for each other.

Usually the older sibling takes
care of the younger one.

Nah, it's just what our family is like.

Noah takes care of our dad,
I take care of Noah.

- And who takes care of you?
- No one.

Our family's like
a Black Russian nesting doll

where the only solid piece
is that little one.

And that's me! I'm the baby.

I mean, come on.
You have your vulnerable moments too.

Just last week you were balling

your eyes out when I was at your place.

Yeah 'cause I was chopping onions

to make your dinner because
you stubbed your little toe.

It really hurt and it ruined my day.

Well, look, I'm glad
you guys have your ritual.

I usually cope at work, but things
at the office right now aren't so great.

They're being insensitive?

Nope, kinda the other way around.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hey.

Just checking in to see
if you're doing OK.

We all wanted to make sure
you were doing OK.

I'm OK.

I spent the entire day
telling people I was OK.

I didn't get any work done.

I mean, I know it
comes from a good place,

- but it's too much.
- Mm-hmm.

So I guess I'll have to cope
here at the bar.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I got some numbers to crunch.

- Peace.
- Peace out.

Wyatt, how do you cope?

Wyatt?

Guys, I am in no mood
to casually talk over wine

like everything is fine!

And y'all shouldn't be either.

Have y'all not seen all this bad news?

The [BLEEP], bro?

That's literally all
we've been talking about.

Oh, sorry, I guess I've been distracted.

But I can't look away.

Have you seen this new info about...

[SPUTTERING GIBBERISH]

I don't wanna hear it!
I'm blocking it out at all costs.

That doesn't sound healthy.

It's healthier than
just doom-scrolling all day.

Look at him... he's not even
paying attention to me anymore.

- Huh?
- That's it.

Gotta get you off that phone
and away from those headlines.

- We're hanging out tomorrow.
- Sure, what you wanna borrow?

- Ay!
- Why'd you come to the bar?

Sherm.



Just so you know, my boss is
not a fan of this whole setup.

So I told her you're writing
a new "E.T." movie.

Figures, no one respects
accountants in this town.

Meanwhile, none of these movies get made
without us behind the scenes.

And don't forget, we tally the Oscars.

Wasn't it accountants who messed up the
whole "Moonlight"-"La La Land" thing?

One mistake in years?

That's a great batting average.

Wow, didn't mean to hit
whatever nerve I just hit.

Sorry,

I'm clearly stressed from all the news.

- How you holding up?
- Mm, not great.

But I am taking
a mental health day tomorrow,

which'll be nice.

But I'll probably just be sitting at
home because there's nothing to do.

Nothing to do? In LA?

This city has it all!

That's what I hear, but I'm new,
and I haven't cracked it yet.

Then let's get it crackin'.

I'll take you on a tour.
How 'bout this weekend?

How 'bout tomorrow?

- Take the day off with me.
- Whoa, a day off?

At the last minute?

My boss would not be cool with that.

Just tell him you need a day off

to process everything that's going on.

- Do it.
- OK, fine.

I'll ask, but I'm telling you,

you do not know my boss like I do.

[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
And I stand corrected.

You were right.
He immediately got back to me

and is more than OK with it.

- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.



Thanks for coming with me today.

The gym provides
the ultimate distraction

to everything that's going on
in the world.

Some people do yoga.

I myself prefer to call it "swole-ga."

Oh, man, it looks like there's an update

with the situation going on...

Will you stop snatching my phone?

I promise to never snatch
your phone again.

- Thank you.
- Because I'm not giving it back to you.

- Damn it!
- Go ahead and pick up some weights

and proceed to clear your mind

from the perils
of this tumultuous world.

- Go ahead.
- [SIGHS]

Go on now, go on now.

[GRUNTS]

[WILD GRUNT-SCREAMS]

[WILD GRUNT-SCREAMS]

Oh!

[STRAINED GRUNT-SCREAMS]

[LAUGHS] Hey, you all right, big dog?

Yeah, this feels great.

[CONTINUES TO GRUNT-SCREAM]

All right.

[SHRIEKS]

- House, house.
- Two-bedroom...

- House, house, house.
- Mortgage.

- House, house.
- Down payment.

Perfect, this is officially
a business breakfast

and I'm writing all of it off.

Pleasure. [LAUGHS]

So how you holding up?

I mean, the news sucks,
but I'ma keep it pushing.

I have a mani-pedi later though
that I am truly excited about.

Mani-pedi?

- Really?
- Yeah, why?

I just don't remember the last time

you went and got a mani-pedi.

I thought you did your nails yourself.

I usually do, but I thought
it was the perfect time

to treat myself to something.

How are you though? You OK?

I mean, I'm doing all right.

- Also trying to keep it pushing.
- Mm.

I have a date lined up for later today.

Wh... oh, sorry.

Correction: had a date
planned for today.

- Aw.
- She just canceled.

So I guess I'll just be...

spending the day alone.

You know, unless, I mean, unless you...

Unless you have some extra time
or something, I don't know.

I knew you'd need me past this brunch.

Of course I'll spend the day with you.

Are you sure? I don't wanna
mess with your plans.

Oh, come on! You're my little big bro!

All that can wait. This is what I do.

Let's go to the bar, drinks on me.

- Oh.
- We have more house stuff

- to talk about, right?
- Oh, yeah, for sure.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Home, house.

- House, house, house.
- Home, house, home.

- House, home, house.
- House, home, home.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Come on in.

You ready for today's adventure?

Wow, I've never seen you
in shorts before.

- And they're very short.
- Thank you.

These thighs are the first
LA landmark of the day,

but there are many other sights
in store.

This is a very thorough schedule.

And I see you even worked in
bathroom breaks.

You're gonna be happy
that I put so much work in.

We have a lot of spots to hit.

Some art downtown at the Broad,

little Jamaican food in Inglewood,

rooftop drinks
at the Sunset Tower Hotel.

But first up...

we have the quintessential
LA experience:

- a scenic weekday hike.
- Cool.

This is great, but I don't have
clothes for a hike.

Oh, but I got you clothes for a hike.

And they're all from local LA stores.

You don't know my size.

I got all the sizes.

Why? Because LA has it all.

This mental health day's about
to be poppin'.

- Let's roll, baby.
- Oh, OK.

These clothes make us look
like we're in an indie band.

The Fay and Anthony band.

I like it.

Nah, everyone knows that your indie band

is your grandma's first name

plus what you had for breakfast
this morning.

Phyllis and the Fake Bacon.

- Huh, not bad.
- What's yours?

Doris and the Cheeseburger.

Wait, you had a cheeseburger
for breakfast?

I'm stressed.

True, true.

Oh, we are a couple minutes
behind schedule.

Let's pick up the pace!

Dude, we came here to decompress.

You're making this day off
feel like work.

What's wrong with that?

The world is unpredictable
and work gives me structure.

Some kids like drawing
outside the lines,

but for me all drawing was hard.

I just loved the lines.

I knew a kid in college who loved lines.

Nearly bankrupt him.

Cocaine gives lines a bad name.

Every other line is great.

- What about waiting in line?
- I love waiting in lines.

The more people, the better.

You are such a nerd.

Hey, why don't we go this way?

Mm, nope, that path is not the path.

This path goes to a crazy view.

What if that way leads
to somewhere better?

Come on, it'll be fun.

Is it really that hard for you
to do something unplanned?

Fine, we'll go down your path
for an unspecified amount of time.

But I'm telling you, it's not gonna
be nicer than where we were going.

[SERENE MUSIC]

You were right.

OK,

touché.



[MELODIC MUSIC]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

Whoo.

Whoo!

Let's go!

Well, you were right.

This is helping.

Yeah? Thanks for joining me

at the gym today at that volume.

You ready to get out of here?

Oh, that's it?
I thought that was a warm-up.

Nah, man. I'm good.

- You've been doing too much.
- What you mean?

[SCREAMING]

Look, I'm just... sad,

angry, and frustrated at it all.

I'm just trying to face it and feel it

so I can release it.

No pain, no gain.

That is what the gym
is all about, right?

Not like that, sir.

For me, it's ignore pain, stay sane.

Letting all that anger consume
you is not healthy.

That's how we got Darth Vader, bro.

That is a fictional movie.

Science fiction!

With real-world motifs.

Look, everyone has pain,

but when you ignore it,
you're only making it worse.

Now take this...

and let out your pain.

Bro, I brought you to the gym
to help you.

And yet here we are at a crossroads.

Now lift this
and don't ignore what happened

in the news yesterday.

- Ah, there. Let's go.
- No, no. Again.

- There is something in there, I know it.
- Stop pushing me, bro!

That was something, OK!

Now you can tell me what it is.

- No!
- Then put it into the weights!

- [GRUNTS]
- There we go.

- [GRUNTS MORE INTENSELY]
- All right!

- Let's go!
- Yeah!

♪ Let me know, let me know ♪

[BOTH GRUNTING FURIOUSLY]

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ If you want it, you can get it ♪

Thank you so much
for canceling your plans

and spending the day with me.

I would've been so awful
on a date anyway

with everything that's going on.

Of course, I'm here for you.

The world is a mess and half,

but at least we have each other
and bottles of wine.

Hey, hey! I will drink to that.

I love wine.

Mm, we should drink
to more things we love.

You know, to get more drunk.

I love that idea.

If you love it, you gotta drink.

Those are the new rules
of the new game I just made up.

Ay. [LAUGHS]

Mm.

What do you love?

Thank you so much for asking me, Noah.

I love, um, naps.

Oh, long ones, short ones.

I mean, shout-out to sleep in general.

- Mm-hmm.
- [LAUGHS]

Mm!

I love concerts.

Oh, yeah, you've heard the song
times, the sound quality is awful.

But the energy? Ooh, electric!

Mm-hmm. [LAUGHTER]

- Mm.
- OK, you know I'm gonna say

this, so let's just get it
out of the way.

- I love butts.
- You love butts.

- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes.

I can't front.

This view is spectacular.

I've never seen this part
of the park before.

Exactly.

Don't forget these gems I dropped on you

- when I leave LA.
- Wait, what?

You're leaving?

I'm all about going where life takes me

and living in the moment, and...

that's why I moved here
from New York with my ex.

But now that we're divorced,

the moment is telling me
there's not much left here for me.

But LA has anything you could want.

The beach, the art, the food.

I'm sure that's all true,

but the way you feel about LA
is not about the city.

It's a deeper connection.

Like that greasy burrito spot
you like off of Vermont?

That's just greasy to me.

You can order it without the grease.

That option's on the secret menu.

I'm just saying
I'm not from here like y'all.

My greasy burrito's on the East Coast...

Except it's a pizza and it's perfect.

OK, I feel that.

Well, I guess we gotta take
a hike pic for the 'Gram

to commemorate your time here in LA.

No, I think I'm good.

We were in the background
of enough people's 'Grams

on the way up here.

- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- Got it!

- No, gimme that!
- Nope, nope! Not enough time.

We need to make our lunch reservation.

Oh, right, 'cause
we're on a tight schedule.

Do you not wanna eat lunch?

No, I'm sorry.
I'm very hungry. Let's go.

- After you.
- After me? After you.

- This is your path.
- This is your tour.

- I was following you.
- No, I was following you.



Are we lost?

So now we're lost
and we have no phone reception.

See, this is why you don't go
down uncharted paths.

The path is plenty charted.

There's footprints right there.

Those are mountain lion footprints.

Mountain lions don't wear shoes.


But they nibble on people that do

- until they're dead.
- OK.

Clearly, anything I say
is gonna make you spiral.

Spiral? I only do lines.

I told you I like lines.

Anthony, relax!

OK, let's just go in every direction

until we see something we recognize.

OK, word.

Process of elimination.

I'm with it.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS] Ah!

All right.

Good work today.

I think we should call it.

What you mean, man? We can't leave now!

We've been here for a while.
It's dark outside.

Yeah, but I'm all juiced up.

And this is a -hour gym.

You're the one that let this lion out.

Why you trying to tame me?

I ain't trying to tame you.

All right, let's go!

[GRUNTING]

- Oh!
- Oh!

Sounds like you tapped
into a new kind of pain.

I did.

I threw my back out.

- Oh, oh, no!
- Don't touch me!

I am not to be touched.

- Help me, please. Don't touch me!
- What?

Help me, Wyatt. Why you just stand...

Don't touch me!

- I'm trying to help you, Sherm.
- Do not touch me.

- Help me, Wyatt.
- Just... just... just relax.

- Wyatt, please help me.
- Lengthen...

Don't touch! You're touching me.

Lengthen and widen.

[BOTH SCREAM]

[SHERM'S PITCH GETS HIGHER]

[BONES CRACKING]

OK, you're good?

- [GROANS WEAKLY]
- Yeah.

- [OWLS HOOTING]
- This isn't what I had in mind

for my mental health day.

- What's the plan now?
- The plan was to be at Sunset Tower

drinking Bloody Marys.

That was your plan?

Who drinks bloody marys at night?

They're an anytime drink.

Also, you could've ordered
whatever you wanted.

I'm sorry, I'm just hungry

'cause you didn't plan
to bring any snacks.

There was so much food
built into the plan today.

Food we never got to eat because of you.

Don't blame me. Blame your city.

I was lost before we got here
and now we're both lost.

Enough with that, OK?

You and I both know LA is not
the real issue with you.

What is that supposed to mean?

- Nothing, forget it.
- No, no, no.

I wanna hear this.

- OK.
- Mm-hmm.

- Fine.
- Mm.

Your whole "Go where life
takes me" mentality

feels like a defense mechanism to me.

From what I see, you're just
hopping around from moment

to moment because if you keep moving,

you don't have to commit to anything

and you don't have
to ever get hurt again.

You're one to talk about
defense mechanisms.

You plan every moment
and you bury yourself into work

so that you don't have
to face the real world.

At least I take chances with my life.

- [LOW GROWLING]
- Did you just growl at me?

Nope.

- [BRANCHES SNAPPING]
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Mm, I love tables.

[GASPS] Oh, my God, yes!

You can sit things on them
and then they stay there.

How?

I wasn't even thinking about that.

I was thinking about them
four little legs they got.

- OK now.
- [LAUGHTER]

- Mm, mm.
- Mm.

- I tell you what.
- Hm?

I am so happy I canceled that date

because I'm having
such a better time here.

[LAUGHS]

Wait, I thought she canceled on you.

- [HIGH-PITCHED] Hm?
- Oh, right.

[NORMAL VOICE] Oh, oh, right.
Yeah, she did...

Not! Oh, I'm a bad liar when I drink.

Do you love that? If so, let's drink.

No, no, no, no.
Why did you cancel your date?

Because you seemed like you
were having a tough day

and like you needed company.

Seriously? You know me.

I don't need anything from you.

- I'm good.
- Wait, where are you going?

To the mani-pedi that I was going to

before I cleared my whole day
to take care of you.

But I love it when you don't leave.

Nicky!

The game!

Hm.

- [GROWL]
- The sound's getting louder.

This feels like the end of a scary movie

that I do not want to be the star of!

Well, then if you're not the star of it,

you're definitely going to die.

I don't wanna be in the movie at all!

I'm an accountant. We make the movies.

- We don't act in them.
- OK, this is ridiculous.

Accountants are not that vital
to the movie-making process.

You don't know anything
about Tinseltown.

You're not from here! [RUSTLING]

Shh! It's getting closer.

- OK, okay, shh!
- [EERIE MUSIC]

- Here it comes!
- [RUSTLING GROWS LOUDER]

Hello? Is someone there?

- You guys OK?
- We are now.

Sorry, we've been lost for a while

and we thought your dog
was a hungry mountain lion.

But also you guys are roaming
late at night in the woods?

Are you...

- chill?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

We're all just on a night hike.

We do this every full moon.

We head up to the highest point
in these woods

to eat couscous, and drink beer,
and just

bask in the moonlight.

You two are welcome to join us
if you wanna come.

They do have couscous and beer.

And the moon is a lot less haunting

now that we're not alone.

What do you say, Fay?

Be a little spontaneous?

[LAUGHS] Wow,

hearing you say
that is a big moment for me.

But also absolutely not.

We need to get the hell out
of these woods.

You're right.
That's probably a good call.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hey, sis.

Noah? What are you doing here?

I'm your big bro,

and I know this is where you like to
come whenever you're feeling down.

I also know you hate mani-pedis
and you would never do that to relax.

That is true.

If you don't know me, get your hands off
my hands and my feet.

I guess I didn't hide my feelings
as well as I thought.

You didn't have to come here though.

I know I didn't have to,
but I wanted to.

I'm sorry I lied to you, but I also knew

that you would never ask me
to be there for you.

I've just never seen myself
as a person who needed that.

But today I did, so...

thanks.

I love you, bro-bro.

I love you too. [CHUCKLES]

- Mm.
- Mm.

And you know what that means.

[SQUEALS]

[LAUGHTER]

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

You know what else I love?

Astronomy.

Space is so crazy.

Yeah, it is. It's so... big.

[LAUGHTER]

- Mm
- Mm.

I love the movie "Big."

Yes, giant keyboard,
little boy, big body.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, my God, I'm still so drunk.

[LAUGHTER]

[SHERM GROANING]

Oh.

Oh, thanks for helping me get home.

Oh, it's the least I could do
for pushing you so hard at the gym.

No, no, no, it's not your fault.

You were right.

I got a lot of pain in there

[STRAINED] that I never talk about.

[GROANS]

Well, you don't have to talk about it.

No...

I want to.

When I was a kid,

we used to have this unwritten rule

that we would...

never ride in the car
more than three deep.

And if you did...

make sure to take your hat off or else
the cops would think you was in a g*ng.

One day we was hooping
and we was five deep

and we only had one car to get home in.

Of course that was the day
we got pulled over.

Seven cop cars.

Helicopters.

Face to the pavement.

g*ns drawn.

[SIGHS]

We were years old, bro.

We could've d*ed that day.

They said we fit the description

of some robberies going on
in the neighborhood.

Guess they was just looking for...

five musty teens with messed-up shoes.

Or just a car
with five Black people in it.

I'm sorry to hear that, man.

We've all got our pain.

And...

I guess I could stand
to not focus on mine so much.

Yeah, and I could stand
to not ignore mine so much

that when it all comes out at once,

it breaks my back!

[BONES CRACKING]

I would hug you right now,
but I think I just pulled my back too.

Oh, yep. Mm-hmm.

Oh, well.

You live here now.



[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, man.

It feels so good to eat
and drink and be inside.

Mm-hmm, indoors are so nice.

Why does anyone ever go outside?

I have no clue.

- Inside is where it's at.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I guess this is
the best part of the tour.

The part where it's over

and we're back where we always are.

I don't know.
I mean, it might sound crazy,

but this was one
of the most fun days I've had

since I moved here.

And definitely beats sitting at home

just watching the news.

I agree, taking the day off of work

was the most healthy way
to cope with this stuff.

Mm.

I guess you were right

- about my defense mechanism.
- [LAUGHS]

Well, you were right about mine too.

And I was thinking about it, and...

I might need to give LA another sh*t.

[CHILL MUSIC]

I'm happy to hear that.



Well, maybe I'll even make some plans or

- even stand in some lines.
- Ay! [LAUGHTER]

Now, if you find a dope line,
you better hit me up.

The longer the better.



Good night, y'all.

- Good night.
- Good night.



- I'm Louis.
- And I'm Lola, and this is...

- Bad-Black-News Brunch.
- Bad-Black-News Brunch.

Where we digest the headlines

with a side of big old pancakes.

Let's cope, y'all.

Dang, anything can be a podcast.
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