05x10 - Date Expectations

[bunniefuu]

I've been wanting to ask Cami
out for so long.

Angle grinder.

I mean, what's a better first
date than homecoming?

I don't know.

Sunset in Santoríni?

A picnic in Paris?

Breakfast in Tuscany?

Yeah, I gotta talk to Moms about

leaving those romance novels
on the back of the toilet.

What you doing at
school so early?

Alice is helping me set up
my dance proposal

because I am asking
Cami to homecoming.

- Small problem with that...
- Yeah, no. Excuse you.

I designed this system myself.

When Cami opens her locker,

there'll be lights, music,
and a confetti cannon.

I thought of everything.

Except there's no
homecoming dance.

That's on you.

Wait, but this Friday is homecoming.
There are signs everywhere.

Do any of them say "dance"?

There's no dance!

- Alice, you gotta stop this.
- Okay, okay, okay.

- Too late!
- Oh, no, no.

Stop!

What is going on?

Okay, at least she doesn't know
I had anything to do with it.

Hey, Cami! It's me, Booker.

Will you go to the
homecoming dance with me

Again, this is B-B-B-B-Booker
asking you to the homecoming dance.

You didn't tell me
about the puppet.

Hey, you ordered the
surprise package.

Surprise!

♪ Ha ha!
Let me tell you something ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had other plans
♪ - Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
Turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up
And take that chance ♪

- ♪ A new city, I'm finding my way
- ♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ You know I got it, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild
But you know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam caught up
In a crazy world, come on! ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We get loud! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough But together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
You know we gonna shine ♪

♪ There for each other
You know it's our time ♪

Yep, that's us.
*RAVEN'S HOME

Season 05 Episode 10
Episode Title: "Date Expectations"

Aired on:
May 13, 2022.

I don't get it.

What kind of school doesn't have
a homecoming dance?

Ours. Principal Rivera banned
them when she took over.

But I'm supposed to
take Cami to a dance.

I saw it.

Saw it?

Girl, not like "saw it."

More like, um...
More like envisioned it.

Not like "envision" like "a
vision" though 'cause I'm not psychic.

Oh, I know. If you were,

you wouldn't have put
that freaky puppet show in Cami's locker.

You didn't have to say "freaky."

You know, I'm glad we don't have
a homecoming dance. It's always the same.

Popular kids choose the
decorations, the music, the theme,

and the rest of us are expected
to show up and dance like sheep

at a kind of barnyard party
where the cows are in charge.

We gotta get you
to more parties.

Booker!

You're not gonna believe
what I just heard.

Cami told Susan P., who told
Susan R., who told Susan D...

Susan D.?
She moved to Florida.

- Which Susan am I thinking of?
- No, what did Cami say?

That she would've said yes
if there was a homecoming dance to go to.

- But what if there was?
- Yeah, but there's not.

- But what if there was?
- Yeah, but there's not.

- But what if there was?
- Just tell him what you're thinking.

We can throw an unofficial
homecoming dance at the Chill Grill.

And then I could take Cami.

Wait, that's a great idea.

We'll be in charge.

We can choose the decorations
and the music and the theme.

Finally, our day has come.

Vive la sheep!

Man, this is perfect.

Now that we have our own dance,
I can ask Cami.

And I can wait till the last
minute to ask someone and show up alone.

Dad, Dad, relax.
Everything is under control.

Have a good time with Grandma.

Yes, yes. I do know how irritating
parents can be as they get older.

Yeah, I was talking about you.

Bye.

Hey, Lazlo, how you doing?

Raven, I'm attractive, right?

Uh-huh. To someone, I'm sure.

Well,
then why am I not getting any Bloinks?

Lazlo, this is a
family restaurant.

No, I mean Bloinks.
The new dating app.

Yeah, I've been on it for two
weeks, and haven't gotten a single match.

Oh. Let me see. Uh, "I'm a
balding, middle-aged line cook

with sleep apnea

- and six cats."
- Six cats.

No Bloinks, huh? Imagine that.

I just wanted to be honest.

Honest is good. It is.

Uh, but this is just
a little too honest, Lazlo.

Okay, you have to sell yourself.

What is interesting about Lazlo?

Oh. Uh.

Well, I've been 6'4"
since the third grade

because my family
has long bones.

Oh, okay. We can, um...
We can call that "statuesque."

- What else?
- Well, I have a middle name,

but my parents never
told me what it was.

"Mysterious." Ah, I like that.

What else? Any honors
or, like, accomplishments?

- Nah...
- Oh!

In high school,
I won Most Interesting Belly Button.

"Award-winning."

Ah! Okay, okay, how's this?

"I'm a statuesque, mysterious,
award-winning chef

with a normal amount of cats."

Yeah? There you go.

Uh, Raven, it feels
kinda dishonest.

Well, at the beginning of any
relationship,

people always
embellish a little bit.

Think of it more like, uh,
creating a better truth.

Ooh. A better truth.
I like that.

Good,
'cause I got a harsh truth

- for you. That profile pic?
- Yeah.

All nose and all forehead.

But don't worry about it.

We're gonna get you a new
one to go

along with that new profile.

I don't know if that's
the camera or the lighting.

No, it's my face.

Oh. All right, well, I'll
just work some computer

- magic on it.
- Ah.

Raven, you have a lot of
free time, don't you?

Way too much. Bye.

Hey, Mom, we need
a homecoming dance.

Hey, Cam. No.

It's not fair. Every
school has one.

Then go to theirs.

Mom, be serious.

What do you have against dances?

I knew someday
I'd have to tell you this story.

The year was 2003,

the night of homecoming.

My outfit was slammin',
and my peeps were in the hizzy.

All except one.

Mike, it's Alana.

Muffy and Loca are here with
their dates. Where are you?

Alana!
What's up?

What do you want, Baxter?

What's the 411
on your date?

You said he was all that

and a bag of chips.

Chillax. He's just
running late, okay?

Ooh, standing you up at homecoming?
Sounds like a real

bust-a move.

Talk to
the hand, Baxter.

You know I have a very strict
no scrubs policy.

Whatevs. Come on, Devon!
I wanna get jiggy with it.

Oh.

But he did stand me up.

And that's why,
when I became principal,

I banned
homecoming dances,

so no fly shawty
would ever get dissed again.

You guys used to talk weird.

Mom,

you can't let getting ghosted
by some basic bae leave you shook.

No cap.

And we talked weird?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it's time for me to let
this go -Yeah.

And put myself out there.

You know what? Have your dance.

Yes! Thank you!

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

Your mom's pretty
on fleek, right?

Oh, please... Please
don't do that.

Hey, you guys!
Everyone's talking about our dance!

Vive la sheep!

What? It's catchy.

Oh! That reminds me.

Ivy, I just want you to know,
even though

I'm playing the
homecoming game,

I'm the second
string quarterback,

so I'll still be available
to deejay the dance.

No. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I never said you could deejay.
- Oh.

- What are your qualifications?
- I've got two turntables and a
microphone.

- And I'm free.
- That'll work.

Later.

Hey, girl, let me holler at you
for a minute.

You still wanna take
me to homecoming?

You're way ahead of me, okay.

Attention, Bay side.
Tomorrow night in the gym,

my daughter, Cami, will be
hosting an official homecoming dance.

Wait. I thought
she didn't allow dances.

I talked her into letting me
throw one so you could take me.

Ivy's gonna k*ll me.

- What'd you say?
- Meet you at 7:00.

So, this morning
there was no dance,

and now there are two dances
and you promised to be at both?

Yep, pretty much.

- Do you want me to clone you?
- You can do that?

No, I'm ten.

I can't believe
Cami is throwing her own dance.

She is using her popularity
to break the will of the people.

She's really fired up, dude.

We took the bus over here, and
now all the drivers are going on strike!

Vive la sheep!

Okay, Ivy,
maybe this isn't such a bad thing.

You know, we can just
cancel our dance.

Oh, we're not doing that.

We're gonna b*at
Cami at her own game.

We'll throw a better dance
and everyone will come.

But what if somebody really,

really wants to go to Cami's
dance?

Then I would have no choice but
to cut that traitor out of my life forever.

Well, well, we wouldn't want
that, would we?

Come on.
Let's... Let's get to work.

- Vive la sheep!
- Vive la sheep!

I have a feeling
this is going to end badly.

Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Everything
is a disaster.

Thanks to you
"fixing" my profile,

I got a Bloink.

Yeah, Divalicious35 wants to know
how I am doing.

How am I supposed
to answer that?

Calm down, Lazlo. It's a good thing.

She just wants to know
some stuff about you.

Here, tell her
something personal.

Okay. Uh, well,
my bacne has cleared up, mostly.

Nah, don't type that.

Why don't you say, um,
"I'm good now that I'm talking
to you."

Ooh. That is quality stuff.
Okay.

Okay, Mama's got a bite.

Ooh.

"Hey there. Wasn't sure
if you were going to message me back."

Ah!

Okay, okay, okay!
Okay, tell her, um

- "I was just playing hard to get."
- Hmm.

"Looks like it worked."

Winky face.

Wow, this is steamy.

Yeah, just don't make it weird.

- Just send it, okay?
- Oh, okay.

Okay, I see you, Mr. Confident.

"How do I know you're
not playing games?"

"I don't have to play games.
I won just talking to you."

"I know this might sound crazy,

but I feel like
we've known each other for
years."

"That's just fate telling us
that we're made for each other."

"Have dinner with me.
Antonio's. 7:30.

Hasta entonces ."

Oh, yeah, buddy!
Still got it.

Oh. You can thank me now.

Thank you? For what?
A heart att*ck?

I'm not ready to go on a date.

Oh, I'll get you
ready to go on a date.

I am b*mb
at this dating stuff.

Aren't you divorced?

I didn't say I was b*mb
at the marriage stuff. That's different.

Hey, listen, I know
this all started

because you wanted to go to a
dance with Cami,

but I really appreciate you
being here tonight.

Yeah, Ivy, about that...

Sorry I'm late!

The first string quarterback got hurt
and so they had to put me in,

and then like an idiot,
I threw the winning pass,

and then everybody
put me on their shoulders

and carried me
around the stadium.

It took forever.

So did that story.

I'm gonna get more
balloons.

Neil, what am I gonna do?

I'm supposed to meet
Cami at her dance.

What? You can't do that!

I know, I know, but

Cami.

I never thought of it like that.

Let the people's dance begin!

Booker, the doors.

Step back.
You don't wanna get trampled.

Where are the people?

I think I know where they are.

Hey, Bay side!

I'm coming to you
from the official homecoming dance.

And guess what?
I've got a live band.

Everyone's here.
Why aren't you

Ivy, you okay?

Absolutely.
Would you excuse me for a moment?

Just checking.
It would be bad if I left, right?

Oh, don't you leave
me here alone.

Lazlo, hurry up! We wanna see!

Wow!

- Looking good, Lazlo!
- Yeah, he should.

It's from the "Don't Tell Dad
We Took It From His Closet" collection.

I don't know.
It doesn't feel like me.

Oh, it's not supposed to feel like you.

It's supposed to feel like a better you.

Yeah, but on the inside,
I'm still a big nervous mess.

Can your tongue sweat?

You know, when I'm nervous
about a test -Yeah.

I just take a practice test.

Then I'm not so worried
about the real one.

A practice date.
Alice, that's a great idea!

Hi, Lazlo.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Divalicious35,

but I don't look a day
over Divalicious29.

I wanna go home.

I do too, but I live here.

You're not going
anywhere.

I worked too hard to
get you this date.

You just have to embody
the Lazlo I created.

Yeah, but that guy is cool
and sophisticated,

and doesn't use his parents'
passwords for streaming accounts.

And his name probably isn't even
Lazlo. It's something dangerous like "Laz".

Yes!

Yes! Be Laz.

- Laz?
- Yes.

Well, yeah, that might work.
Oh, should I do an accent?

- Hiya, I'm Laz...
- No? -No. Mm-mmm.

Nobody wants to hear that.

Just be cool.

Cool. Okay, uh

Bonsoir, Divalicious.
I'm Laz.

- And may I say, you look breathtaking.
- Oh, you may.

I took the liberty of ordering
for both of us

for, you see, food
is a passion of mine.

Another passion of
mine, uh is passion.

Dates are gross.

No, no. Don't distract him.
He's in the zone.

- Right there, Laz, right there.
- Yeah.

Stay with the magic.
There it is. Now, go!

Go! Don't lose the magic!

- I'm coming, Divalicious.
- Get it! Ow!

I can't believe
Cami did this to me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, no, we should go to her
dance right now and tell her off.

Maybe we should, uh,
pick up some flowers.

You know, show her
how mad we are.

This is my tenth
birthday all over again.

I throw a party, she throws a
bigger one and steals all of my
guests.

That's what this is about?

What about the people?
What about vive la sheep?

Okay, you know,
I was just excited to finally b*at Cami.

Well

she can have her dance.

We won't be there.

- Yeah!
- No.

- Aw.
- Yeah.

Look, I wanna go to
homecoming with Cami.

Seriously? I thought
we were friends.

So, what? You're saying I can
either be friends with you or date Cami?

Whoa, whoa. That's
not what she's saying.

That is exactly what I'm saying.

And I wouldn't have to
tell a real friend that.

A real friend wouldn't
make me choose.

Fine. Go, okay?

I don't need you
at my dance anyway.

We're having a great time
without you, aren't we, Neil?

I wanna say no, but
that weird, twitchy eye thing you're doing

makes me feel like I
shouldn't.

Come on,
Booker, where are you?

Wait, wait, Mom. Where are you going?
You're supposed to chaperone.

Forget that.

I'm meeting my date
at Antonio's in 20 minutes.

If anyone asks,
I'm in my office, okay?

Waiting for someone?

Just my date.

But I think he might be blowing me off.

- Anybody who'd blow you off is crazy.
- Oh, he's crazy.

Crazy about you.

Okay, if you're done being cute,
let's go get our pictures taken.

Uh, uh, bad news,
baby.

I'm never done being cute.

- Okay, that's enough.
- Yeah, I felt like I was pushing it.

Auntie Rae, you've
read this thing.

What does Eliza's father have
against the stable boy?

Oh.

You're too young
to be reading this.

I gotta stop leaving these
things on the back of the toilet.

What's the big deal?
I know all about dating.

Oh. You know about dating?
What do you know about dating?

Well, if you want
someone to like you,

you just have to
make up lies about yourself.

Like, how the stable boy is
pretending to be a prince.

Or how you told Lazlo
to pretend to be "Laz."

Okay, well, for the
record, all right,

the stable boy is a prince.

I know!

But you don't learn
that until book seven

- Okay.
- And you not gonna be reading that one.

And as for Lazlo, well, eh,
you know, that's, uh... It's complicated.

Explain it to me.

Well, it's...

And...

You know, it's...

- Not that complicated, is it?
- No.

You messed up, huh?

Yes, okay. Come on. We gotta go
save Lazlo before he makes a huge mistake.

- Could we get bread sticks?
- Yeah, we can get bread sticks.

- Let's go.
- We better.

Say, "You can see us,
but you'll never be us."

Booker, why aren't you smiling?

My bad.

That's better?

What's going on?

It's just I really like you.

And that's a problem because

Ivy has this crazy idea that
you threw this dance just to ruin hers.

I didn't even know
she was planning

a dance when I talked my mom
into this.

I know.
You're not like that.

Like, how you didn't throw your
tenth birthday party just to ruin hers.

- Oh, no, I did do that.
- What?

Ivy and I were best friends.

Then she transferred to that
genius school and just left me
here.

I was hurt,
so I threw that party to get back at her.

I tried to apologize afterwards,
but she wouldn't even talk to me.

Yeah, Ivy can be stubborn.

I guess it's been easier to be
enemies than try to fix the friendship.

Well, we need to get you two
together so you can talk about this.

Like, right now.

You strong.

I'm not leaving.
Ivy can come and talk to me.

Did we not just discuss
how stubborn she is?

Can we just forget about Ivy
and have fun tonight?

Come on. Let's go dance.

Wait. If Ivy won't come to this dance,
I'ma bring this dance to Ivy.

Conga music playing...

Conga!

- Woo-hoo!
- Come on, kids. This way.

If we'd just gone to Cami's
dance,

we'd be having a great time right now.

Maybe it's time you two talked.

I would, if she was speaking to me.

Do you hear music?

Conga!

Cami?

What are you doing at my dance?

Uh, Cami?

Dang it! Stupid conga.

Come on, everybody.
Back to the school.

No, Cami.

You and Ivy need to talk.

- I have nothing to say to her.
- Yes, you do.

- Well, I have nothing to say to her.
- Yes, you do.

- It hurt my feelings when you
- It hurt my feelings when you

- ruined my party in 4th grade.
- Went to that school in 4th grade.

-You tried to apologize
-I shouldn't have taken it out on you

- and I'm sorry for being so stubborn.
- And I'm sorry for being a jerk.

Did that make any sense to you?

It worked.
Don't question it.

Hey, man, we gotta get this
party started. Get on your turntables.

Those are just for show.

I was just gonna
stream it from my phone.

Then do that.

Uh

Hey.
Thank you for coming back.

I was always coming back.

It's pretty smooth how you
tricked me into coming down here.

But I'm really glad
that you brought me to this dance.

I knew this was gonna happen.

Ah!

Lazlo, there you are.

Hey, did those kids leave you
to clean up this mess?

No, I told them I'd do it.
Sweeping's my happy place.

That's sad.

Well, we went to the restaurant,
but you weren't there.

Oh. Yeah, I couldn't do it.

I messaged Divalicious
and asked her to meet me here.

- I want her to see the real me.
- In those pants?

- Auntie Rae.
- My bad.

Lazlo, I gave you bad advice.

You deserve someone
who really likes you for you.

And I hope that's her.

Oh. Well, I do too.
Thank you, Raven.

What
smells like garlic?

Well, we may have gotten,
uh, dinner at Antonio's.

That place is expensive.
Thank goodness Alice ate for free.

Because you made me
tell them I was six.

Well, I tried to tell 'em I was
six, but they didn't believe me, so

- Divalicious?
- HungryHunk?

You don't look like your photo.

I know. It's not what
you were expecting.

No.

I like it.

Alana? Lazlo?

No!