02x04 - Cop to It

[bunniefuu]

Ah! This is the best Scut day ever! Ugh! - Ugh! - Ugh! Ugh! I've had it! This building needs recycling bins.

And hot water! And faster Wi-Fi.

You done? You done? You done? Try not making any money on your Scut shift 'cause you got a flat tire.

Loser! 'Scuse me.

I got a job.

No, Rae! It's spray-painted - on your back.

- What? Ugh! Oh, snap! I must've gotten tagged when I was changing my tire.

Wasn't me! Well, why would you even say that? 'Cause you always blame me for stuff.

Did you, or did you not, delete the finale of my favorite telenovela? Now, how am I ever going to find out if Angeline pushes her evil twin sister, Ericka, into the volcano!? - Oh, oh! She did - No, no, no! No, no! You did it! No, you said it! You said it! Ah! Tess Oh! Well, here's some good news.

Our building has a new owner, and he's hosting a meet and greet for all the tenants tonight! Great! Maybe the new owner will finally do something about all the problems - around here.

- Oh, there's gonna be free food! Maybe we can get some sliders! Sliders? I love slide Ah! Now, Chels, I told you those mop socks were dangerous! Yeah, but at least I sprained my ankle on a clean floor, right? Ohhhh - Hey - Yo Let me tell you somethin' Had my vision all worked out - But then life had other plans - Tell 'em, Rae It's crazy when things turn upside down But ya gotta get up and take that chance Maybe I'm just finding my way Learning how to fly Yeah, we're gonna be ok It might be wild, but ya know that we make it work We're just kids caught up in a crazy world - C'mon! - It's Raven's Home - We get loud! - It's Raven's Home It's our crowd! Might be tough, but together we make it look good Down for each other like family should It's Raven's Home When it's tough It's Raven's Home - We got love - 'Cause no matter the weather, Ya know we gon' shine There for each other, ya know it's our time Ah, ha, hah! Yep! That's us.

Man, I can't believe there's no more sliders left! I know.

That's crazy, right? Let's just focus on our list of complaints, and hope the new owner will listen.

Hey, where's Chelsea? She's getting a ride with Tess' uncle.

Well, unfortunately, - this is my stop.

- Oh.

Thanks, Uncle Mike.

No problem, T.

Oo! Uncle Mike! I think I might need a ride back down the stairs.

I got a trick knee.

Nia, kick me in the knee.

Oh dang! That trick usually works.

Hello, everyone! Hi, thank you for coming.

I'm the new owner, Richard Mosley.

Before we begin, I'd like everyone to know that I'll be living here in the building.

So, I won't just be your landlord.

I'll be your neighbor! Well, as our neighbor, I think you'll see that this building really needs recycling bins.

Oh! And hot water that's actually hot.

And Wi-Fi that sends email faster than regular mail.

I made a list.

Ah! List makers.

Love it.

Uh, but because I oversee so many business ventures, I'm leaving the day-to-day management of this building to my right-hand man.

My son, Mitch! Oo! We got a rich son.

I hope he's single.

I am! You the son? Mitch! Come on up here! Wait a second, hold up! He is gonna be in charge of the building? Yeah, well, I'll be overseeing him.

I'm grooming him to take over the business one day.

And that day is today.

Okay, bye now! Pay your rents on time.

A kid? He's definitely gonna give us everything we want.

Thank you all for these suggestions.

Please put them in the suggestion box.

Whoa, we have a suggestion box? No, but the building next door does.

Where you can move if you don't like that we don't have a suggestion box.

Buy now! Pay your rent on time.

- But - Ah! - But - Nope! - But - No more buts! He said butts.

Who said that? Who's the jokester? Wasn't me! Then it must've been you.

It wasn't me, it was her! Nice.

You're really gonna blame it on a kid? You're a kid! I see what you're trying to do here.

Making me look bad on my first day.

Classic power move.

Well, here's another power move.

Your apartment's now banned from the laundry room for one week.

What!? - Key! - Wha Ha! I ain't got no key! Oh, it's okay, Rae.

I got it.

What!? You can't do that! Can.

Did.

It's my building.

It's your daddy's building.

That he put me in charge of.

And put my sliders back! - It's your daddy's sliders! - Two weeks! And thanks to your mom, you can forget about that list of yours.

Ugh! Oh! Mom! What? I was gonna share the sliders! No! You made Mitch mad.

Oh, I'll talk to him tomorrow.

- No! - No! - No! No offense, Mom, but you may not be the best messenger.

Yeah, let us handle this.

Kid to kid.

Okay.

Thank you! Thank y'all.

Thank you.

Put 'em back! Guys ready? - Yeah.

- Yeah.

Let's do it.

What do you want? Hey, Mitch! Look, we're sorry to bother you.

We just wanted to apologize for our mom starting off on the wrong foot.

Bagel and lox? Smoked fish? I'm 12! What about fresh berries? You mean the things I knock off my waffles? Pass! Uh, how about a, uh, donut? Donut mind if I do! So, does this mean you'll accept our apology, and, uh, give us all the things on our list? No but I will accept your donut.

Bye now! Pay your rent on time.

It's all good.

I put another list in the bag.

I told you to let me handle that little Ty-runt-asaurus Rex.

Good news is he took my donut.

And I stuffed a third list inside the little jelly part, so maybe he'll come around.

And here he is! Hey, did you get the little list I left inside the donut? I don't know, I ate it whole.

I'm here for another reason.

Did you just walk into my apartment like you own the place? I do own the place! Oh, well, I pay the rent! Not on time! - You right.

- Anyway, I was just informed that someone spray-painted the word "butt" on the front of the building's dumpster.

And I'm pretty sure it's one of you.

Why would you think that? Because you were doing all the "but-ing," at my meeting.

That doesn't mean one of us would graffiti the dumpster! I think it does.

So, who was it? While you think about that, is it possible to discuss the whole two week laundry ban? - Three weeks.

- What? Three weeks? Come on! For what? For asking! I'll be watching you, Red.

I'll be watching all of you.

Hey, Mitch.

Tell your mother to pay her rent! Bye now! How am I supposed to do laundry for three weeks, huh? I can't get to the laundromat on this ankle! You know, there are other ways to get into the laundry room.

If you know what I'm saying.

Is that a lock pick? You say lock pick.

I say spare key to everywhere.

Come on, Nia.

I got an extra one.

- Wait! - Let's go have some fun.

- Wait a minute, now.

- Mom? - Huh? - She's kidding.

Okay, you're funny! Ha ha ha! Be careful! Think about me! I'm your mama! What kind of person carries a lock pick? Mom, it's no big deal! It's just Tess being Tess.

- Yeah! - At least she was nice enough to let me borrow her spare key to everywhere, huh? Even though I, uh, don't know how to use it.

Well, we gotta figure it out because I need clean underwear.

I'm tired of wearing Booker's.

What? Sorry.

Desperate times.

You know what, Booker? Starting to worry about your sister hanging out with that Tess character.

Mom, Tess is cool.

You're just overreacting.

I knew it.

What'd you see? I saw Tess in the back of a cop car with Nia.

Did you say Winia? That sista that lives in 2C? No! I said, "with Nia," the sista that lives here in 3B.

Oh I knew Tess was trouble.

Now, she's dragging my baby into a life of crime.

My baby's going to the big house! Mom, Tess isn't bad.

We know her! Do we, Booker? Do we really? Yes, Ma.

Yes, we do.

You know what? I bet Tess was the one who tagged the side of that dumpster.

I'ma tell Mitch.

And I bet I'm gonna get a reward.

I bet he's gonna let me slide on the rent.

Oo! Or better! Gimme some more them sliders.

- Mom, - Mm-hmm.

You don't know for sure that Tess is the tagger.

And Nia won't do anything bad.

Just let me look into it.

Alright, but my money's on that, "wasn't-me-saying, lock-pick-having, DVR-deleting, side-hat-wearing, butt-tagger.

" Well, right now, you're being a, "conclusion-jumping, "worry-for-nothing, reward-seeking, slider-wanting, staring-at-me-like- I-better-shut-up mom.

" Well, you got one part right.

Them sliders! Go get' em! No, she's never done it before, but she'll be cool.

Great! We'll meet you there.

We're doing this! Are you sure about this, Tess? Yeah, I do it all the time.

But, it sounds kind of scary.

That's what makes it so much fun! The rush, the adventure, the thrill You know what? I do like a thrill.

Let's do this.

Sweet! There's my partner in crime.

Ma? I think you might be right about Tess.

And I think your vision's coming true.

Okay, honey.

Now, you keep a lookout, while I pick the lock.

We need a code word in case we see Mitch.

Mitch is here.

That's good, honey, I like it.

No! Mitch is here! Four weeks.

Hand it over.

Oh, man.

Here.

Not your crutch! - Not your kid! - What? Oh! Fine.

Here you go.

Run, Levi! Run! Come on! Come on, Levi! Come on! Come on! She won't get far.

So, we just sit here and wait for Nia and Tess to come out of the building and start tagging? Yep.

We catch 'em in the act, we stop 'em, and my vision never comes true.

Why don't we just say something to them? Because, Booker, you can't go around accusing people.

No, honey.

No, see, look.

You can sneak around on 'em, and you can snoop on 'em, but accusing them is just plain wrong.

And, and you're sure they're in there? Yes, Booker.

I'm su Look.

Look! I'm tracking Nia's phone right now.

She's still in the building.

Now, just just calm down, and pretend you're on like, a a stakeout, right? From one of those cop shows you watch? Yeah, okay.

Book 'em, Booker! What was that? It's my catchphrase! If we're on a stakeout, I need a catchphrase.

That's a good idea! I want one! I want one! Okay, wait, hold on.

I got it.

Sez you.

But, that has nothing to do with anything.

Sez you.

See? It works! It works! Now, keep your eye on the building.

Sez you.

Hey, that's mine.

Oh! Oh, hey, Winia.

Hey, sister.

How you doing? Okay, listen.

The coast is clear.

Is baby bird ready to cry? To fly, Mom.

Fly.

And, yes.

Five weeks! Mom, wake up! You fell asleep.

Sez you! We are so not good at this.

Oh No, it's okay.

It's okay, sweetheart.

I'm, uh, I'm still tracking her phone.

She's still in the building, don't worry about it.

Good, but maybe we need to do something to stay awake.

That's a good idea.

You know what? I'ma order some Chinese food.

- Yep.

- There it is.

Egg roll That's I, I want another egg roll.

I did not see this coming.

- Mom, wake up! - Huh? Ugh! Dang you, Golden Dragon! Your Sleepy Noodles are so good.

I just had a vision, and Nia and Tess were behind bars! What? My baby got a reservation at the grey bar hotel? Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm! And it looks like they about to check in! There they are in the back of that cop car! That was my vision, Booker! Except for they were looking back at us.

Doesn't matter.

Is your belt on? - Yeah.

- Alright, baby.

- Mama's coming, baby! - Okay.

Oh! Oh! - Ow - Uh-oh.

Mama hit a cop car.

Okay.

I'm guessing that was your vision.

I did not see this coming.

Neither did I.

We got booked, Booker.

Okay, you're free to go.

I convinced my partner to let you off the hook 'cause my niece here knows you.

Thanks, Uncle Mike.

Oo, Uncle Mike.

Ow! Oh! Oh, my ankle! Oh ho, my ankle! Uncle Mike, I'ma need you to carry me to my car.

Booker, kick me in the ankle.

Wait, Uncle Mike! Hold up! I got shin splints! My patella hurts! Man, you supposed to protect, and serve! Mom, is there any place you won't embarrass us? No.

Nia, why were you in the back of the cop car with Tess? What were you doing hitting the back of a cop car? Uh uh uh, you first.

I'm the mama.

Fine.

Tess' uncle was patrolling the neighborhood for the tagger, and she wanted me to go along with them.

She goes all the time.

I think she might wanna be a police officer one day.

- Wow.

- How about that? Why? What did you think I was doing? Mom thought Tess was the tagger, and that she was gonna drag you along with her.

- Booker! - Mom! What? It's only because Booker overheard a suspicious conversation when he was spying on you two.

- Booker! - Mom! - Booker! - Oh You spied on us? To be fair, it was because I had a vision that you and Tess were in the back of the cop car.

And I had a vision, too! Of what I thought was you and Tess in jail.

Turns out, it was us in jail.

- It's kinda funny, huh? - It is funny.

She doesn't think it's funny.

Well, I hope you two, and your visions are happy.

Obviously, Tess isn't the tagger, okay? So, you can cut her a break.

- Sorry, baby.

- Sorry, Nia.

If Tess isn't the tagger, then who is? Couldn't sneak into the laundry room, huh? We made do! - We had to use the dishwasher.

- Yeah.

Ha! Five weeks of this, huh? What you want, tiny dancer? I have found some incriminating evidence, that just may prove who the tagger is.

And it's someone in this room! Dun dun dun! Are you done, done, done? Sorry, that just felt right.

Now, let's see who's the tagger.

Was it Booker!? You wanted a new hot water heater, so your BUT wouldn't freeze during your showers.

You're accusing me? I fed you donuts! Or, was it Levi!? - Mommy! - Oh, honey! He complained the building's slow Wi-Fi was a pain in the BUTT! Or was it Nia!? With her quest for recycling bins, she wasn't taking any ifs, ands, or BUTTS for an answer.

Or was it you!? I, I don't even get a gasp? Thank you, Chels.

Oh, no.

I just realized, I forgot to put fabric softener in the dishwasher.

So, you're all suspects, but only one of you are guilty.

Will you get to the point? I like drama.

I give you exhibit A! After I busted Big Red and Little Red, I noticed they dropped a sweater with spray paint on it! And then, I smiled sinisterly.

And when I compared the color of the paint on the sweater, to the color of the graffiti, perfect match.

And again, I smiled sinisterly.

So, who would wear what appears to be a 12-year-old girl's sweater? I think it's pretty obvious.

Could only be - you! - Me!? Just kidding.

It was Nia! - Nia? - Nia? - Nia? - Nia? Baby girl, is that true? No! It isn't.

'Cause I did it.

I knew it! Wait a minute.

That doesn't explain the sweater.

I borrowed that sweater from Nia when I tagged the building.

I knew it! Wait a minute, you would never wear one of Nia's sweaters.

You know what? I'm starting to believe, I have no idea what is going on! It's because you don't, Mom.

Tess didn't do it.

It was actually Me.

Dun dun dun! Oh, so that's how you do it.

Once I knew Mitch was never gonna do anything on our list, I started writing, "Bottles and Cans," on the dumpster for tenants to recycle in.

But, I heard someone coming, I panicked, and when I turned to leave, my elbow wiped off the top of the "O," making it a "U," and leaving the word "butt.

" Nia, I can't believe you did that.

I apologize, Mom.

Recycling and the environment is important to me, but I guess I went about it the wrong way.

Yeah, you did.

Thank you for trying to take the fall for me, but why would you do that? 'Cause I didn't wanna see my best friend get in trouble.

And besides, your mom always thinks it's me doing bad stuff anyway.

So, I may as well go with it.

Thank you.

- Mom? - Yeah? Mom, do you, uh, have something you wanna say to Tess? Do I have to? - Yes! - Yes! Hey, Tess.

I, um I like the way you wear your hat to the side.

And? I was wrong about you, Tess.

You're a good friend to Nia.

And Nia, I should have trusted your judgment in friends.

She okay.

Thanks, Ms.

B.

Look, I know I'm around here a lot, and I kinda get on your nerves sometimes, but I just really like it here.

It's kinda like home.

Aw.

Oh, that was so touching.

Made me cry.

Now, gimme that list of complaints.

Thank you, Mitch! No, thank you.

Ah, that's better! Wait a minute, now! Come here! Now, I called the city, alright? And this building is required to have recycling bins, hot water, Wi-Fi that works, and laundry room access.

So until then, you can forget about cashing my rent check, which you probably not gonna get for, like, another three weeks, but still! I'm sure your daddy's gonna love to hear all about this.

You wouldn't dare.

Try me I can't believe they're still going.

It's amazing.

Shh, wait! Think your mom is trying to say something.

Ah! She's sleeping! I win! Ah, sez you! Gotcha!