03x10 - Oblivion

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Umbrella Academy". Aired: February 15, 2019 - present.
Based on the comic book series of the same name, revolves around a dysfunctional family of adopted sibling superheroes who reunite to solve the mystery of their father's death and the thr*at of an imminent apocalypse.
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03x10 - Oblivion

Post by bunniefuu »

Let's never do that again.

- What, narrowly escape the apocalypse?
- It's kind of our thing, isn't it?
There's something very wrong about that.

- Same suite, just ass-backward.

- No hyperbole there.

This is some hardcore
Alice in Wonderland shit.

Yeah, it only gets weirder.

At last, the other side.

Where's Klaus?
Children, I'm sorry, but your brother
I did all I could, but he
didn't make it through in time.

The Kugelblitz has
claimed its last victim.

No, he was right behind me
when I entered the tunnel.

We need to go back.

There's nothing to go back to.

Children, there will
be time for tears later.

Right now, we have to keep moving.

Luther and Klaus?
When we say reality,
what do we really mean?
In the 1800s, the best minds of the age
theorized we live in a clockwork cosmos.

In the Quantum Age, time and space
are suspected to be a holograph.

Ancient people believed
we rode on the back
of four flying turtles
or on the horns of a white buffalo.

These ideas beg the question,
will we ever know
the shape of reality?
Or, odder still, does it have a
shape other than the one we give it?
Makes you feel tiny, huh?
Why would you put pineapple on a pizza?
You know, when you think about it,
we are just
tiny specks of sand
in a desert full of other sand.

I mean, it's a garnish
for cocktails, at best.

And that's inside solar systems.

Inside deserts of galaxies.

I guess the real question to
ask is, why is it on my pizza?
- Klaus, are you listening?
- Yeah, sure.

We're insignificant in all
things, blah, blah, blah.

Sorry I'm not a stoned undergrad
sitting in freshman philosophy.

Wait a second.

- Where exactly are we?
- We're d*ad, man.

We're d*ad.

Welcome to my hood.

It's magnificent.

You guys should've stayed
This place is way nicer.

Lila and I barely got out
alive last time.
But I'm here this time, and
the numbers are in our favor.

Well, whatever it was, it was
strong, fast, and super pissed.

All right, so, whatever you
do, do not ring this bell.

Unless you wanna lose
a finger or a tentacle.

I'll take my chances
- Don't!
- Get out of my way.

To take out this thing, we need
to be in the right state of mind.

State of mind? Do you mean, am I angry?
Yes, I am angry.

I wanna k*ll whatever
it is that hurt Luther.

Luther isn't the only one that's gone.

We lost Klaus too.

I'm angry, okay? We all are.

We have to be smart about this.

When the time is right, we'll act.

Don't even try it, Five.

Doors won't let you out.

So, what, we're stuck here?
This place is a test and a trap and
a means of salvation, all at once.

- Does anyone know what that sign says?
- Yeah, it says "Do not ring the bell.
- That's what that means.

- We get it, Diego.
Bell bad.

What do we do?
Does anybody know?

I'm hungry.
Does anyone
fancy an unagi roll?
How can you possibly
eat at a time like this?
I don't know.
How can you be
a d*ck at a time like this?
- Hey!
- Oh, you'll
Back off, all right?
- She's eating for
- Strength.

In these trying times.

Diego, can you come
with me for a second?
I I'm d*ad?
Yeah, and I'm so glad to
be here for your first time
'cause it's kind of a weird feeling.

It's like waking up from
a really vivid dream.

But don't worry.

Because it's all gonna
make sense really soon.

Oh my God.
Dad k*lled me.

Oh my God! He k*lled me too! A lot.

He's an alien.

We're trying not to use
that kinda terminology here.

And I know, it's whoa PC,
but you could just say he's

No, no! I mean, he's a real alien.

He's like a bug person
from another planet.

Oh God.
You gotta go back and
warn Sloane and the others.

Non posso.
I mean, I'm
done with the other side.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah, I belong here.

All my "life," I've been
a loser, I've been a freak,
I've made mistake after
mistake after mistake,
but all of that was a sign, you see.

It was a sign that this is my home.

It's where I'm meant to be.

This shitty place?
Come on! I meant in the ethereal, silly,
with you and all our
ghostly eternal pals.

Where the hell does that leave me?
Eating pizzas and watching cool
documentaries with moi forever.

So wait.
You're just gonna
turn your back on our family?
I wouldn't worry about it too much.

They'll be here soon enough.

Everybody dies eventually.

- Am I right?
- Mm.

Yeah, I mean, we're d*ad, right?
As the Dougie, baby.

- As the Dougie!
- Yeah!
So what happens if I do this?
Nice try, big guy,
but there ain't no pain in the Void.

Yeah! Take your best sh*t!
Challenge accepted.

I can't believe you were
just gonna blurt it out.

I'm sorry, all right?
But maybe we should
tell 'em about the baby.


I'd like to get through the mission
before you throw a gender-reveal party.

- Yeah, but imagine
- Can you pass me the soy sauce, please?
I don't get it.

Like, we're with the people
that love us the most, okay?
So why wouldn't we tell them?
Huh? Things suck right now.

And it would be nice to give the
family something to fight for.

Can you shut up and eat your fish?

Nah, it's like the old man said.

Once is happenstance,
twice is coincidence,
and three times ain't gonna happen
'cause I'm not a gibbering idiot.

Well, we can't be sure
he k*lled Klaus or Luther.

You serious? This is his modus
We've seen this before.

Have you forgotten how we all
came together in the first place?
- Dad's funeral.

- Exactly.

He pulled this on you rubes
before, and he's doing it again now.

- Come on, Five.

- No.

He lost the vote to
come through the tunnel,
yet here we are.

Are you really sure that
he could k*ll Luther?
I think he could k*ll Luther,
Klaus, and the rest of us
without breaking a moral sweat.

And what's worse, I
think Allison is involved.


I hate to say the things everyone says.

Mourning in cliché is the last
thing you need to worry about.

I know everything is ending,
but I thought we'd be
together when it happened.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I got to say goodbye
to my daughter and my husband.

But it wasn't enough.

Feelings are just
They're too big for words.

Luther loved you
to the moon and back.

You made him so happy.

No, she she was with
Sloane in the tunnel.

I'm not talking about Klaus.

What? No, she would never do that.

She's been unraveling since
we got to this timeline.

- Yeah, she lost her daughter.

- And she k*lled Harlan.

Even if you're right,
I can't imagine they're just gonna
come clean if we confront them.

I agree.

Come on, man.
Listen to me.

I'm not going back down
there to get slapped around.

And there's nothing you
can do to change that!
You are so incredibly
selfish! Do you know that?
Just relax! Don't worry.

You have all the time in
the world to get over it!
All right, that's it.


Come on!
I had to die, like, a million
times before figuring that one out.

Yes, again.

This is someone's idea of heaven?
Whoa! Oof!
- What the
- Hey, buddy.

- You!
- No!
Get back here! Get back here!
That tickles!
- I
- Let me go!

You may not be able to feel pain,
but I can throw you through
walls for all eternity, Klaus.

You will never get a moment of
peace and quiet.
I will never stop.

No, no, no, no, no.

The Void is my house.

It might be a bouncy
house, but it's mine!
You don't wanna help the family, fine.

But the love of my life
is walking into hell.

I don't even know if I can.
I mean,
who knows where they even went.

Klaus, this is your house.

- Yeah.

- You just said it.

- Yeah.

- You are the king of death.

Oh, that's a little grandiose.

I mean, I prefer to
think of myself as
- Yeah.

- the Prince of Darkness.

I believe in you, brother.

You can do anything.

- Oh, hey.

- Hey.

Sorry for crashing your party.

Okay, fine.
Listen, we'll do it.

- We'll try, okay?
- Okay.

Also, just like on a motivational
scale of one to, like, Braveheart
- Yeah?
- this was like half a Rudy.

All right, notes
later, pal.
Notes later.

I thought you could probably do better.

Blast it all to hell.

We need to talk.

- I'm quite busy.
Can it wait?
- No, it can't.

Luther and Klaus, did you k*ll them?
There's a guardian lurking in
the corridors of this hotel.

We have to defeat it for
this mission to succeed.

What benefit would I gain
k*lling two members of our team?
- Answer the question.

- I believe I just did.

If I find out you're bullshitting
me, old man, the deal is off.

I can assure you I will keep
my side of our agreement,
and I expect you to do the same.

- What was that all about?
- That's none of your concern.

Not my concern? We're here
now, in the Hotel Oblivion.

Just like you wanted.

I made that happen.

Don't be ridiculous.

Allison k*lled Harlan,
and I united the families.

What did you do, Number Two?
Gather up, children.

Now that we've had a
chance to catch our breath,
the real work can begin.

Ah, the myth of the seven bells, eh?
been paying attention.

- Okay, so we find the bells, then what?
- No, no, no.

The bells are just a metaphor for this.

- The sigil.

- Correct, Number Five.

The sigil is the key to the seven bells.

Once we find this symbol,
we're one step closer
to resetting the universe.

What do we do when we find it?
I don't know.

Excuse me? We're here because
you said you have a plan.

I do, up to a point.


So we'll just stay in the hotel forever,
staring at the walls
and eating bad sushi.

Finding the sigil is
our only way out of here
and the best chance we have
of resetting the universe.

Funny how you and Dad are
on the same page again.

- Okay, uh, where do we start?
- We'll split into groups.

I will go with Allison and
Sloane, Ben and Five with Viktor.

- No, we want Allison.

- Ben for Allison.

We've trained together, so it
makes more sense if we take Allison.

No, thanks.

Why not?
Splendid idea.

Allison, you go with the
Sparrows, stick together.

Everyone take a different floor.

We must find that sigil.

- What about us?
- You're a duo.

Nobody wants to listen
to your endless bickering.

Now, spread out, leave
no stone unturned,
and meet back here in 30 minutes.

This is a total waste of time.

Did you hear that? He called us a duo.

I think your father is
starting to grow on me.

I forgot my journal.
I'll meet you on five.

Someone went through a lot
of trouble to hide this thing.

How big is it supposed to be?
You know, dear old Reg didn't say.

Really? Hm.
That's surprising.

I figured you'd know
more about his plan.

Sorry, what's that supposed to mean?
I saw you and him in
the White Buffalo Suite
during the wedding.

I don't know if now's the right time
You know, I heard that
you blacked out last night.

I did, and it took me a
while to remember what I saw,
but I do remember, Allison.

You and Dad made some kind of deal.

What did you agree to?
- A deal?
- Mm-hmm.

With Dad?
- Please tell me you're joking.

- He's not.

Answer the question.

You're out of your mind.

You and Dad make a
deal, now Luther is d*ad.


Luther was k*lled by whatever
the hell that thing is.

- And Klaus?
- He didn't make it into the tunnel.

You know, your deal is
costing people their lives.

Do you really think that
I made a deal with Dad
to k*ll Luther and Klaus?
I'm done.
I'll meet you in the lobby.

Hey Hey, wait, no.

Wait Five.


No, just listen to me.

Viktor? Allison?

All right, so now the fun starts.

No, I'm done with the two of
you and your conspiracy theories.

Come on.
Just listen to me
Why should I, huh?
You're the ones who
voted to stay and die.

You're the ones who said to hell
with family and the whole universe.

I'm the only one fighting to save both.

We just need to know what Dad is
planning before more of us get k*lled.

Where the hell is Five?
He was right behind me.


We're gonna make it out
of this mess, all right?
The three of us are gonna be fine.

And then what?
And then we'll be a happy family.

No, we won't.

Is this more of that bullshit
proving-yourself-to-be-a-good-dad stuff?
- You passed, okay?
- I'm over it, all right?
Wait, whoa, whoa.

Oh, this isn't about me, huh?
Oh, you're scared.

It was easier with Stan, okay?
You could have just said "sod off,"
and then I wouldn't have had
to tell you about the baby
or asked you to stay with me.

Why tell the truth when
you can f*ck someone
into getting what you want without
having to be truly vulnerable?
Do you know how crazy that is?
But what if I fail our baby like
my mum failed me?
Then you won't.

Because behind the crazy bullshit,
there's a good and decent person.

You sure?
One thousand percent.

Come on.

Did we end up back at the same elevator?
Oh, don't forget to
check under the plants.

Get off your ass and start inspecting
the walls for hidden compartments.

Hey, uh,
here's a wall and, uh
Oh, here's another wall.

What the hell is wrong with you?
People are dying left and right,
and you're acting like a sulky teenager.

You sound just like Dad.

Why is it so important
for Dad to like you?
He doesn't define you or us.

We made our own mark in
this world without him.

As the Sparrow Academy,
but they're gone now.

He was never a Sparrow.

He was our dad, and a shitty
one at that.
You don't need him.

Easy for you to say when
you've already got a new family.

And the best part of
that family just d*ed.

I can't believe I'm saying this.

I'm actually glad to see you guys.

- What's wrong?
- The hotel is changing.

I've been walking around in circles,
but it's like the thing is alive.

- We should get to the lobby.

- Tried it.

Whatever direction I choose,
I end up in the same spot.

Or maybe you have no sense of direction.

Okay, lead the way, Magellan.

- Where is he?
- How the hell am I supposed to know?
Come on.
We can't keep doing this.

Please, how do we get back
to the way things were?
Before that fake apology and
And the lies?
Allison, come on.
How do we do that?
I don't know that we can.

Problem, Dad?
You missed me.

There's only one way into
It's not possible.

Well, here I am.

I wish I could explore this more,
my boy, but now isn't a good time.

You used me, you know,
to get the family here.

I get it, but you you used me.

And when I was no more use to you,
you leave me to die on the floor?
Leave you to die?
I did you a favor.

I knew you'd find your way back
to the Void where you belong.

I do like it there.

- Then why are you here?
- Because you m*rder Luther.

It was necessary.
And effective.

Who's next, Dad? Five? Viktor?
The whole g*dd*mn family?
Stop this at once! Everyone's in
The battle's about to begin.

I am one bell ring away from my
You're going to ruin everything!
Oh, if I had a nickel for every
time I heard that, I'd have a dollar.

Which isn't that much money,
but then again, there
are those dollar stores
which are quite reas
That's that.

Does no one listen to me?
No, sweetie, we don't.

We should get back to the lobby.


Which one of our moronic siblings
do you think rang the damn bell?
Allison, we gotta go!
Allison, get up! Let's go!
Who did it?
- Maybe we should go.

- Right behind you, honey.

Come on, come on!
- Diego, wait.

- Screw this.

Nice sh*t, sweetie.

- Oh, f*ck me.

- Oh.

- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Press the button!
- Okay, what floor? What floor?
- Any one!
Really? A samurai?
Revenge looks good on her.

Would you shut up and
help us k*ll this thing?
Here, here.
Go, go, go.


All right.

We need We need
to tie off that wound.

You were right, okay?
I made a deal with Dad.

Luther and Klaus?
No, I had nothing to
do with that.
I swear.

Why tell me now?
Because I need you to believe me, okay?
That I did this for all of us.

Luther and Klaus too.

What did he offer you?
I need you to trust me.

Look at me.
If we get through
this, everything's gonna be okay.

I told you to go, okay?
And let you die alone?
What's the fun in that?
And the baby?
- You let me worry about that.

- No, I'm its father.

Who has no part in the gestation
of the baby for the next six months.

- Nice try.

- Okay.

So I can't convince
you to sit this one out?
- Finally, you're getting it.

- You're right.

I do.

- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm protecting my family.

No, no, no, no.
Diego, don't leave me.

I'm sorry.

- You promised we'd always be together!
- I know, I know.

Diego, no, no, no,
no, no.
Don't do this.

When the baby gets here, tell him
or her
about the man I was.

The man I tried to be.

No, no, no, no, no, Diego.
No, no.

Diego! Diego!
You've h*t him with your a* five
He should be d*ad by now.

The armor.
It's like hitting cement.

- There's a space between the backplates.

- We need to get behind him.

- Let's k*ll this thing.

- Wait
Hey, assh*le!
Finally, someone with
a power worth mimicking.

Lila? Why were you in a closet?
I'll explain later.


- I'm tired of running.

- Me too.

This feels oddly familiar.

At least this time, we're
not aiming at each other.

Let's go.

- Oh my God, Klaus.
Are you okay?
- Lila!
- How'd you get out?
- What happened?
- We thought you d*ed.

- If only.

- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, I think so.

- Klaus.

- You look like hell.

Why don't you try k*lling a guardian?
- We just did.

- So did we.

I told you to stay in the
I love you!
Klaus, I thought you were d*ad.

Yes, yes, I'm alive and amazing,
despite Dad's attempts
to bash my brains in,
but tearful reunions later.

What you guys need to
know right now is that
Dad k*lled Luther.

And he locked me out of the tunnel,
and he rang that stupid bell!
What's your plan, old man?
- We don't have time for this.

- You k*lled Luther!
I had no choice.
You refused
to come together as a team.

All of your stupid myths and stories.

There were never seven
bells or Norsemen.

- You brought us here to die!
- That's not so.

Somewhere in this hotel is the
key to resetting the universe.

We just need to find the sigil!
I don't care about your
sigil! None of us do.

We barely survived that guardian
with his stupid helmet and his sickle!
The guardian we k*lled had an a*.

Ours had a sword.

There's one left.

We have to go after it.

Because that worked
so well the first time.

You got any painkillers, or
could you just please shut up?
Could you just keep
it down to a dull roar?
Do you think you could
Hey, I found the sigil!
It's on the
Nobody hurts my wife,
you son of a bitch.

All those years I stayed loyal to you.

You wasted my life on
the moon, and for what?
To use me on this stupid mission?
You did have a purpose.

I left you to guard the most
precious thing in the universe.

And what was it?
You'll soon understand.

You all will.

I can't hold it.

I will love you forever.

The sigil is in the lobby floor.

It's the stars!
Children, find a star on
the sigil.
Stand on it!
Ben, now's your time, boy! Quickly!
Seven points, seven of us?
We're the bells?

Not you.

Hurry! It's the only way to stop him!
Number Five, quickly!
This wasn't part of the
You're hurting them.

I can't stop now.

- It'd shut down the machine.

- What machine? I don't understand.

The hotel was just a facade.

We're stuck inside a
machine in another dimension.

Whoever created the
universe built this place.

What does any of that
have to do with them?
The particles inside their bodies
are the only things
that fuel the machine.

He k*lled Luther.

He tried to k*ll Klaus.

He won't stop until we're all d*ad.

Okay, you need to stop!
I'm almost done.

And when I am, you and I will
get what we came here for.

No, you're k*lling them!
Everything in life has a price.

Allison Allison,
don't touch that button.

We don't know what it does.

Allison, stop!
Don't make me do this!
Do you trust me?
Viktor, what are you doing? Stop her!
- Allison, wait!
- Allison, don't do it!

What's wrong, Mama?
Nothing, baby.

Oh, I'm just so happy to be home.

It's where you were always meant to be.

Hey, baby.


Oh shit.

- You can see me?
- Yes!
- I'm alive? I'm alive!
- Yes!
- Luther's alive!
- Oh my God!
- Wait.
That's not all, big guy.

- Huh?
Oh shit! My body!

- I look amazing.

- Luther's all svelte now.

- Wait.
I gotta show Sloane.

- I got my arm back.

This is so cool.

Where's Sloane?
Oh, she was, uh She
was right behind me
- When Allison h*t the button.

- She's gone too.

You know, I don't know about you guys,
but I have not felt this good in years.

- Does anyone know where the hell we are?
- The hotel.

Or at least this is where it used to be.

I think the old man did it.

I think he reset the universe.

You got your fingers back.

Sloane? Sloane!

I don't care about
any resets, all right?
I want my wife back.
Where is she, Five?
I'm glad you're alive,
but take your hand off me.

Not until you give me an answer.

Okay, screw this.

Something's wrong.

That's right.
You're about
to get your ass kicked.

- Yeah, kick his ass.

- No, you moron.
My power.

- I can't blink.

- Yeah, right.

That's not good.

Okay Come on.

Alakazam ghosties.

This means I'm mortal again?
- Aw man!
- Wait, wait, wait.

How do we get 'em back, you idiots?

I gotta I gotta go find my wife.

No! Luther, you can't go.

You were d*ad five minutes
You're fragile!
- I gotta go after him.

- No.
Wa Klaus, wait!
- I'm out, bitches.

- Come on.

We should stick together
and figure this out
What are we supposed to do?
Live our lives?

This train is bound for Yeouido Station.
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