01x46 - Open Book

[bunniefuu]

We are the Crystal Gems we'll always save the day and if you think we can't we'll always find a way - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # And Steven! - Ooh.

- Ahem.

So, what did you think of the ending? Uh I thought it was on page 917.

- I thought it was a disaster! - Uh All the books leading up to this seemed to be taking on and subverting these witch tropes really self-aware about - being a pastiche, you know? - Um But in the end, none of that even mattered.

Lisa and her talking falcon, rebels challenging the stifling traditions of the magical bureaucracy I loved that.

Then her falcon turns into a human and they get married?! It completely dropped all the anti-authoritarian stuff and described her wedding cake for 50 pages! Yeah! That cake was worthy of 20 pages, tops! - There weren't even strawberries on it! - I bet since the books got so popular, the publisher put pressure on the author to water down the end for a larger audience appeal.

Unlike art, the real world can't always win against the iron chains of authority.

- That's my theory, anyway.

- Hmm.

It's just disappointing, considering I invested extra money in the hardcover copies with maps.

I wish I could give you a new ending.

The temple door it opened for me! I can make anything I want in there! I can make us a new ending! Really? Well, what are we waiting for?! - Uh ta-da! - Cool! This is my mom's room.

I can control it, like this.

I want a tiny, floating whale to give me some fin.

Unbelievable! How does it work? The room can make stuff out of clouds.

- We can make anything.

- Anything? How 'bout the infinity fair from book 4, with merchants from a million lands selling goods from cultures long gone - and yet to be? - We should probably keep it simple.

We don't want to overload the room.

How 'bout half the infinity fair? Oh.

That's still infinity.

Simple.

Okay.

Well, what really matters are the characters.

You should be Archimicarus.

Okay.

Room, I want to be a falcon! Oh, yeah.

Got to keep it simple.

Amazing! Okay, my turn.

Room, I want to be Lisa.

Do I need to be more specific? You were pretty general with the falcon thing.

Oh, sorry.

I guess the room only makes stuff when I want it.

Maybe this won't work after all.

Why don't you just have it make a costume shop? Oh, yeah! Good idea! I want a costume shop! Wow! This place has everything even her childhood tunic! Wait.

You thought it was red? Yeah, the color of the setting sun! The sun sets black over the mines, Steven.

Are you gonna be young Lisa? Well, if we're really reworking this thing, I'm gonna make the ultimate Lisa with the best gear from every book.

Like, what if she never lost her iron sword? - Whoa! - And the cloak and the clasp - are too signature not to do.

- For sure! And I always liked the dragon whisker boots from - the volcano stuff in book 3.

- Are you almost done? - Wait a minute! - Come out! I want to see you! - Whoa! You look awesome! - Thanks! Okay.

Let's do this.

So, at the end of the series, Lisa and her falcon familiar, Archimicarus, are at the altar with a cleric about to get married.

But we don't want that ending.

So, instead hmm.

Uh I-I don't know.

What do you think? - Hmm.

What do you think? - Uh well h-how 'bout a different proposal, Lisa a business proposal? We can start a business together and sell sell turkey legs to make money to help out - our fellow rebel comrades! - Yeah, that's great! I want an umbrella with that, if you would, room.

Turkey legs! Get your rebel turkey legs! Turkey legs! You think it's okay for me - to eat this if I'm a falcon? - You are a bird of prey.

So, what should our next move be - as business partners? - You tell me.

Yeah? Oh.

Um Let's feed the wind lizard.

Look at this guy! - He totally looks like a rebel! - Wow! From book 4! Now, I know he lives in the mountains, but he's just visiting because he heard about these turkey legs.

Lisa, would you like - to do the honors? - Okay.

- He ate the bones! - Okay! I guess our business is a success.

- If you think so.

- So, what now? Didn't you have a bunch of ideas that it needed to be more - anti-authority and stuff? - Sure.

Okay.

So we're we we're stopped by the authorities because because we're selling without a permit and we're not old enough to drive a cart.

But these are, uh, free-range turkeys, and they didn't listen to anybody, and that's what we're gonna do, right?! - Whatever you think.

- Really? All right.

And then I think they don't like that and they att*ck us.

You can't stop us! Geez! These guys are corrupt.

- What should we do about 'em, huh? - What do you think we should do? C-Come on! I'm really trying here! How do you want the story to end? How do you want the story to end? I don't know.

I just wanted to do this for you.

This isn't really like you.

I I don't want you to just - do what I want.

- Uh Uh you want me to not - d-do what you want? - Connie, are you all right? I want what you want what you want want want want want want - want want - I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin.

I want a costume shop! I want to see you! want want want want want want want - I-I created you.

- want want want You're not Connie! I must have left the real Connie back at the costume shop! Sh-She could be anywhere! No, no, no, no, no! I'm done! I'm done playing! Why didn't you disappear with everything else?! You told me not to do what you wanted.

Ohh.

- Where is Connie?! - Steven! - Steven! - Connie? C-Connie?! Is that you?! Please let me go.

- I want to find the real Connie! - You told me you wanted It doesn't matter! Please don't follow me.

I don't want you to follow me! Cart! Uh Uh, wind lizard! Uh Uh Uh Connie, can you hear me?! Steven? Steven! Connie! I'm almost there! Just a little bit furthe Please! I don't want you! I want the real Connie! I know what you really want.

- I know how you really feel.

- Steven?! Ah, Steven, finally! There you are.

Ugh! Ugh! Help! Keep away from him! I know you like her.

- And I know you want her to like you, too.

- No! Don't listen! That's why you can't tell her the truth, but you want to! - Ow! - You want to tell her! - No! - Get off him! - Tell her, Steven! - I Tell her! I liked the ending of the book! - What? - I-I-I thought it was sweet that Lisa and Archimicarus got together in the end.

They were always so thoughtful towards each other, and I was so happy when they found the spell to make him human, and I loved every page about the cake! I wanted to draw a picture of it! I'm I'm sorry I pretended not to like it.

I just I just didn't want - you to think less of me.

- Ahh.

That's better.

Do Do you think I'm a bad person for liking the ending? Of course not.

I Steven, it's just a book.

But you really care about it.

- I care about you more.

- Even though I liked the wedding? Oh, of course you liked the wedding.

You're Steven.

You love schmaltz.

You make a good point, but don't you remember how Archimicarus - cried in book 3? - I thought that was because - they lost the sword.

- No! She almost fell into the volcano! - He was worried about her.

- But she had access to frost spells.

Yeah, but Archimicarus didn't know that.

- Even birds can fall in love.

- I guess you could read it that way.