03x19 - Adolessons

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Raven's Home". Aired: July 21, 2017 - present.*
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Best friends Raven and Chelsea are together again and raising their three children under one roof.
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03x19 - Adolessons

Post by bunniefuu »

Raven's Home was filmed in
front of a live studio audience.


Chels, I gotta... I can't...

Okay, I'ma go over here.

Maybe you can
just stop moving...

- Let me get the front of your...
- that's good.

Let me get the front of your...

let me just... the front...

Chels!

I need you to tell me why
you're not looking into the camera.

Rae, the dating website wants
a picture of the side of my face!

That's why it's
called a profile pic.

You know what? Never mind!

We are gonna find you a
guy who's sensible, yet silly.

- Yeah!
- Carefree, yet caring.

Striking yet... no! Yet nothing!

- Just striking! Yes!
- Yes!

Rae, look! It's my
first coffee shop date!

Well, this is
nothing short of...

Exhilarating!

- Good work, mom!
- Thank you, honey!

This is to up my dating game.

Levi and I have been
practicing my vocabulary.

You know, it's like I'm
taking the sat's all over again,

but this time, I'm awake.

Is anybody else's eyes
watering and throat closing up?

Because something
really stinks in here!

What is that?

Oh, that's just your
brother's dirty laundry.

Here, Levi, take pictures
of your mama's face.

Try to make her look normal.

So, thanks to your brother's
new-found funk factor,

I had to separate laundry
into lights, darks, and Booker.

He's got new odors.

He's sleeping in
late all the time.

And yesterday, I caught him
eating three plates of spaghetti.

Eh, that's not so bad.

For breakfast.

Clean enough.

- Should we say something?
- I don't think so.

No, don't... put it down.
Put it... no! No! No! No!

This is where I draw the line.

Ya nasty!

♪ Hey... Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ Maybe I'm just finding my way
Learning how to fly

♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay
Ya know I got you, right?

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids caught
up in a crazy world ♪

♪ C'mon! ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
Yo!

♪ We get loud! ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ When it's tough ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

Yep! That's us.

Nia, can I see you for a second?

Of course, Mrs. Dunagan.

This is a -page report!

It is. Enjoy!

The assignment
was three pages, Nia.

Following instructions is
a big part of your grade.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have
to give you an "f" on this report.

So, let me guess.

Mrs. Dunagan's not even
reading your reports anymore.

She's just giving you an
"a" because you're Nia?

That's right!

You can't spell
Nia without an "a."

Yeah, this is like my... what?

Third new pair
of shoes this year.

I just keep growing out of 'em.

Oh, and check out this whisker.

Oh, man!

You know what, I think I see it!

But it could also be because
I just wanna see it so bad.

The lighting's just not right.

But trust me!

It's a full-on face whisker.

Yep... becoming a man.

Oh, yeah!

I mean, uh... Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, I know all about
that manhood too, you know!

But, uh, my little bro...

He's not where we are right now.

So maybe you can
give him the what's what

on things he can
expect down the road.

Levi really wants to take notes.

What? No, I don't!

Just do it!

Uh, so Vance, please go on.

Well, becoming a man means
you start growing muscles.

And don't worry.

I've got a permit for these.

And my dad is starting to
treat me with respect now.

We had this big talk,

and then he told me I could
ride ATVs with him this weekend.

Whoa!

Yo, that's amazing, Vance!

Did he say anything else that, um,
Levi needs to know about manhood?

Well, I asked him a
few more questions,

but that's when
he told me to stop

because he needed
some fresh air.

So, I guess being a man means
you need to be outside a lot.

Yo, Levi, did you hear that?

Vance pretty much confirmed it!

I am officially a man now!

Huh! I don't have him
saying anything like that.

You'll get it one
day, little bro.

No, I get it!

Are you flexing or do you
need to use the bathroom?

Mmm!

Booker, I think you
forgot something.

Oh, well, real men
use their hands to eat.

Well, I will remember that
when I serve dinner to a...

Real man.

Booker! Come on.

If you're gonna roll
your eyes, do it right.

You gotta have more
arch in it. Ready? Like this.

Take that plate
into the kitchen.

What is wrong with that boy?

Out of control!

I swear...

Nia?

Are you okay?

Yeah! Yeah, no, i-I'm
great. I'm just, uh...

Not that hungry, but
I couldn't be better.

Okay, mm-hmm.

Levi.

Your mom's coming
back from her date soon.

- How do you feel about that?
- I'm excited, auntie Rae.

I'm glad mom's
getting out there again.

She deserves to be happy.

That is a very mature
attitude, Levi. I'm proud of you.

They just grow up so fast!

I can't!

What is wrong with these kids?!

Dad would get it. He knows
what it's like being a man.

A man? Booker, you're .

Right! Which makes me
the oldest male in this house.

Mom needs to get
on board with that!

Wow! Look, here's mom

to tell you if she's
on board with that.

Mom, the floor is yours.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Look, mom, I'm sorry.

Actually...

Uh, no, I'm not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I
am the man of this house.

And I say what I say.

And... and what I say is...

That I love and
respect you, so there.

That's what I thought
you were gonna say.

Listen, I know you
think you're a man now.

But just so we're clear...

Man.

Parent.

It's a large gap.

It's me.

Here.

So, are you in
this much trouble,

or this much trouble?

Booker, you're the
man of the house now.

And that means things
need to change around here.

Levi, things are about
to change around here.

Honeys, I'm home!

How'd the date go, mom?!

Yes, I need deets! Spill it!

Yeah! Yeah, okay.

Um, well, the dating app
matched me with this guy

who had an eye patch...

And a wooden leg.

Yeah, and!

And he had a parrot
on his shoulder

that kept pecking at my food!

How did...?

They matched you with a pirate?

Oh! No, no, I can see
why you would think that.

But no, he's a waiter
at captain flounder's.

This is like Wimbledon,
but without the ball.

Or the net.

Or the other person playing.

Actually, it's nothing
like Wimbledon at all.

What is going on?

Okay, fine.

I'll tell you but you're
gonna have to brace yourself.

This is gonna shake
you to your core.

The truth is...

I failed my report!

And?

And...

I might as well kiss
college goodbye!

There's a big giant
"f" on my report cover,

and I'm so used to
associating that letter

with words like
"fantastic" or... "Fabulous."

"F" also stands for friend!

And this friend will
always stand with you.

- You're sitting down, Tess.
- Oh.

Mrs. Dunagan
didn't even read it!

Hey.

I could email the report to her!

Yeah, teachers don't have
anything to do over the weekends!

Or you could just let it go.

Stop putting so much
pressure on yourself.

You always do the most.

The most is all I know, Tess.

The most is all I know.

Okay, maybe you should
talk to a professional.

- Like a therapist?
- No, your mom.

Okay.

Once you rub it
all over your face,

smooth it out.

Okay! It's as smooth
as a baby's bottom.

Now what do we do?

I'm, uh... not sure.

Dad!

Father.

Son.

Booker, do you...
Want to tell me

why you felt the need to
call your dad and not tell me?

Well, I knew dad would
give me some support.

You know, man to man!

Man to man!

- Man...
- let's just say "man to man" ish.

Listen, I need you guys
to wipe your faces off,

you are freaking me out. Go!

Go, go!

Devon, why didn't you
tell me you were coming?

'Cause I knew you'd
tell me you got this.

Look, Booker's becoming a man.

And when he needs me,
I wanna be there for him.

Yeah, I get it, but
just so you know,

I'm there to help him with
whatever problem he has.

But, at the end of the day...

I'm not his daddy.

- Thank you.
- Hey, dad!

- Hey.
- What's up!

Oh.

So, I guess the
word is out, huh?

The word? What
word you talking about?

We ain't got no words.

Oh!

I just assumed dad was
here because of me and my...

Thing.

Oh, honey, I'm always here
to see both you and Booker.

But I don't know
about what this...

- Thing is you're referring to.
- I don't know what she talking about.

Then your timing's perfect.

Look, I need to talk
to you and mom.

Devon!

In private?

Oh, come here!

What are you doing in Chicago?

Is there a big wintery
storm on the horizon?

Why? Do you need one to
come blow all that stuff off you?

Climate humor!

I love it!

No, Levi's just taking pictures
of me for this new dating website.

Yeah, I'm dating now.

It's about to start rainin' men!

- Climate humor.
- Yeah.

We're gonna talk
to Nia real quick.

Hopefully these pics might
get me some decent matches,

or should I say,
equivalent counter-parts?

Well done, mom!

Yes, thank you,
thank you. Let's see!

Oh, those are great!

I'll email them to you
so you can upload them.

What?

I'll put them into a folder so you
can drag them into the app yourself.

No, no, I...

I'll do everything for you.

Oh!

Good, Levi, thanks.

You know what,
honey, you just...

You just get me.

And?

Why does everybody
keep saying that?

Nia, if I had a nickel for
every failing grade I got,

we'd be having this
conversation over some fancy tea

in the west wing of the estate.

The estate?!

You mean that thing
you promised me?!

I remember that!

Ooh! Was it with the beignets piled
high with powdered sugar on top?

- Fresh out the oven, steaming hot.
- Steaming hot!

- Let me get one, let me get one.
- Go ahead, go ahead.

Y'all, please!

Continue to have
fun while I suffer.

Honey, listen!

We might be upset if you
failed because you didn't try,

but that's not the case here.

You over-tried.

Nia, you know what
we're gonna do?

We're gonna go get Tess, and
we're gonna waste an entire afternoon.

- A whole afternoon?
- Mm-hmm.

All right, all right. I'll write down
what we're trying to accomplish.

- Sure! Sure, here! Write this down.
- Mm-hmm.

"F"... no, no. Start with the
"f" that you got on your report.

"U... n."

- "Fun"?
- Fun.

I'm gonna force you to have fun.

- All right? Come on.
- All right.

Come on, your dad needs to
spend time with his son, anyway.

- Let's go, let's go.
- Okay.

So, yeah, you know, I used
to love making turnip juice.

But I stopped, because,
you know, my family found it...

Detestable.

Oh! Ha-ha! That's a
gold star word. Yeah.

Anyway, enough about me.

How's the whole... the
whole space travel thing?

Oh, feel free to get that! Yeah.

No, I'm... I'm waiting on a
call from the queen myself.

I noticed on your dating profile

you wrote that
you're a secret agent,

but doesn't that
make it not so secret?

You're wearing a
tuxedo in a coffee shop.




I think you blew your
own cover, okay?

And they say your taste buds
change every seven years.

So, who knows, you know?

Maybe they will like
turnip juice someday.

You should eat your
food before it runs off.

What? Okay, Killian, I'm sorry,

I don't understand
the things you say.

Neat!

You turned my
food into a rabbit.

Did I?

Okay, listen, Killian, your
tricks are super annoying.

But you are very talented.

Ha! Yo, dad!

My buddy Vance and his
dad invited us over to ride ATVs.

Ha, ha! Just us men
enjoying the outdoors.

ATVs like four-wheelers?

Is this something your
mom would let you do?

Uh, my mom?

The leader of the
"let's not do that" club?

Oh, oh!

The Empress of "mm-mm"?

No! Mom would
never let me do that.

But she is not here, so, uh...

I don't feel comfortable
doing something

your mom wouldn't want us to.

I'm not crazy about it either.

ATVs can be dangerous.

I called you here to back me up,

and now you're
totally siding with mom.

- I'm not a little kid anymore.
- Booker...

You're the man of the house now.

And that means things
need to change around here.

Thank you!

And that change starts with you.

You have to show maturity.

Right now, I'm not seeing it.

Dad?

I'm riding those ATVs.

You're not going anywhere.

Hey.

- How'd it go?
- Uh...

You know, I just
don't understand

why the dating app keeps
pairing me with these guys

I have just nothing
in common with.

An astronaut?

A magician? A...

A not-so-secret secret agent.

It's like the app thinks I'm some
sort of -year-old boy or something.

Oh! I think I made a mistake.

What do you mean, Levi?

Did you make a blunder?

A faux pas?

A miscalculation?
Thank you very much!

I might have doctored
your pictures a little.

And by "might," I mean, I did.

And by "little," I mean a lot.

Wh... why would you do that?

I wanted you to date
some guys that'd be fun.

Here. Let me show you.

Wow! Ooh!

I look like such a
natural in that shark cage.

I'm sorry, mom.

I didn't know these pictures
would make your dates go badly.

I wanted you to
date someone that...

I'd want to spend
time with, too.

Oh! Oh, Levi, honey.

Listen.

I would never date
anyone who wasn't...

Compatible with you!

You know?

You come first, honey.

And you always will.

Hmm?

All right! Rock climbing!

Definitely at the
bottom of my fun list,

but, you know, I
support you, baby.

Where's your harness, mom?

My harness?

I'ma support you right
from this ground level.

Oh!

They've got a scoreboard.

- I can b*at that time.
- Nia!

You really don't
have to be the best.

Okay? Just have fun.

Being the best is fun, Tess!

Let's go!

I really need your help, Tess.

You have to get through to her.

How do I do that?

You'll think of something.
You're her best friend.

- Well, you raised her.
- You chose her.

You know, you're really bad at
not putting pressure on yourself.

What pressure, Tess?

I'm not feeling pressure.

In fact, I'm feeling
completely relaxed,

because I know I'm
gonna b*at that high score.

- Ow!
- Tess!

- Are you okay?
- Oh, I sprained my ankle.

I'm done. You go ahead.

Okay? Be the best!
Don't worry about me.

Okay.

Tess, I'm coming down.

Oh! You see that?!

My baby is giving
up the high score

so she can help her friend!

It's a big deal!

Yeah? You all right?

Yeah, I can't believe
you came back for me.

Of course I did.

What about the high score?

Look...

You were right.

I know I push myself too hard!

I'd like to care less. I
just don't know how.

You just have to let go, Nia.

Relax, and let go.

Let go?

I'm gonna let go.

- Oh!
- Yeah! There ya go!

Oh baby, it's okay!
Mama's coming!

Just fall right into
my arms, all right?

Stay calm! I'm
always here for you!

Just... just keep on
falling really slowly.

Wow!

Yo! Nia, watch this.

Wha...? Tess, I thought
you hurt your ankle!

Oh! Yeah!

Ow.

I raised her!

And I chose her.

- You guys...
- Let's go.

Aw, you want... you want one?

Okay!

How did you find me?

Well, for one thing, I knew
you had enough sense

not to leave this building
without permission.

So all I had to do
was follow your scent.

I was never going
to ride those ATVs.

I was just... mad.

I get it.

I remember this age.

You know, my father
used to always tell me,

"life has fence posts."

For instance, you learn to walk.

Fence post.

You learn to read, fence post.

You start school, fence post.

See, and when you link
all those posts together,

they form your life path.

I'm guessing there's
no ATV fence post.

Well, here's the thing
about your path so far.

You've had two hands to hold.

Me and your mama's.

See, but you're
at a new post now.

- You're changing.
- Thank you!

That is what I've
been trying to say!

You know what I'm
saying? I'm a man now!

Look, you might be
the man of this house.

But outside,
you're years old.

And your mom and
I are still in charge!

But you're finding
you right now.

That's plenty.

I get that.

But I do have some questions.

Like, uh, do my muscles
start growing on their own?

Oh! And when does the
voice squeak go away?

Oh! And what lighting is best
if I wanna see my whiskers?

Let me see that mug.

Yeah, I'd say you got a while before
you got to worry about those whiskers.

Uh, are you crying, dad?

I am. Not from emotion!

No...

Whoo! You like a
human onion, son!

Oh, dad, I wish you
could stay longer.

Me too, sweetheart.

But where there's
weather to report,

Devon Carter must be there.

See, this is your daddy
doing the most right now.

Right, I think that's where
you got it from, your daddy.

Rae, always a pleasure.

I know it is.

Hey, dad, can I call you?

Like if I have any more
questions about all this?

Of course you can!

Hey, call me
anytime. Day or night.

I'm always there for you.

You guys! Hey!

I just got another
coffee shop date!

Ooh! So it's going well?

Ooh! Well, I haven't
got a match yet, but...

I have a feeling
things are gonna go

a little better
from here on out.

You guys wanna
play a board game?

Yes, but I get the first turn!

I'm the youngest! I'm
already at a disadvantage!

Well, I'd love to
play a board game.

And you know what? I don't
even care about winning.

But I will win.

- No, you won't.
- I will.

No, you won't! I'ma win!
I'm the mama! I don't care!
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