18x09 - The Pageant Pickle/Some Assembly Required

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♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa...

(crash)

ARTHUR:
It started out
as a perfect spring day.

Life couldn't get any better.

But that was about to change.

(Arthur whistling)

Someone's in a good mood.

There's less than one
month of school left.

Muffy's already planning
her first pool party.

Oh, that reminds me.

How do you know when
something bad is coming?

This Friday afternoon,
nobody make any plans.

Somehow I knew
this couldn't be good.

Why, what's up?

It's...

Then she said the three
most horrible words

in the English language.

D.W.'s Spring Pageant!

Ahh!

ARTHUR:
But the pool
party's Friday!

Why do I always have to do
everything D.W. wants?

That's not fair.

I do things for you
all the time.

Like what?

I give you free advice,

I let your silly dog
lick my feet,

I defend you when the Tibbles
say you look like a banana...

Mom, can I please skip this one?

Both of you, calm down.

Arthur, you're going to the
pageant, and that's final.

But it's going to be so boring!

BINKY:
Arthur's going to a pageant.

(laughing)

Pageantface, pageantface!

"Pageantface"?

That doesn't even
make any sense.

It's all I could think of.

Don't pick on me.

Arthur, it's just
a preschool pageant.

How bad can it be?

You wouldn't say that
if you'd been through

what I've been through.

Like last fall.

♪ We are autumn's pretty leaves,
red and yellow ♪

♪ Orange and brown ♪

♪ See us falling
from the trees ♪

♪ Falling, falling,
falling down. ♪

ARTHUR:
I would have given anything
for a giant leaf blower.

FRANCINE:
You know what I do
if it's boring?

I count the ceiling tiles.

.

I checked twice.

Ooh, that is bad.

Maybe it will be
better this time.

After all, they've had
all year to practice.

PRESCHOOLERS:
♪ We are spring time's
pretty flowers ♪

♪ See us blossom one by one ♪

♪ Growing with
the April showers... ♪

Wake up now!

That's it.

Stretch your arms.

Arthur was right.

This really is boring.

What was that, D.W.?

What if we tried
something exciting?

Well, what did you have in mind?

Um... I know!

What if in the middle of the
song there comes a giant spider?

And everyone goes,

"Ahh!

A spider!"

Come on, people.

That's good.

There isn't really going
to be a spider, is there?

No, of course not.

Unless we use
the one...

behind you!

(screaming)

STUDENT:
Eek, a spider!

D.W., you shouldn't do things
that scare the other kids.

It's not my fault everyone wants
the pageant to be boring.

See, she admits it!

Arthur...

I'm sure it's not boring.

You should have seen
my preschool pageant.

We sang this old song
called "Springtime Flowers."

Everyone dressed like flowers.

It was awful-- awful.

Boring, unbearable.

Awful.

That's what we're doing.

Uh, I'll do the dishes.

Well, if they won't fix it,
I will.

What are you going to do?

Hmph!

Wouldn't you like to know?!

Think, Nadine!

Think!

It has to be something exciting,

but I want the audience
to be moved, too.

(Pal barking)

ARTHUR:
Shh, Pal, be quiet!

Quit spying on me.

Me?

I wasn't.

Well, okay, I was.

But you're not planning
on anything

that's going to embarrass me,
are you?

I hate to break this to you,

but not everything is
about you, Arthur Read.

ARTHUR:
Well, that's a relief.

Hmm...

Have you decided how you'll
improve the pageant?

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to say
a poem.

About what?

Mom, Arthur's being nosy!

MOM:
It's okay, you can keep it
a secret.

Whatever it is, I'm sure
it will be wonderful.

It's going to be
a two-person poem.

I'm going to ask Emily
to do it with me.

ARTHUR:
She's up to something.

I can tell.

Stop worrying.

And anyway, I've decided.

My pool party won't start
till after the pageant.

The preschool is
on the way to Muffy's.

I'll pick you up.

She's planning something.

I just know it.

She's too happy.

Too happy?

If she's planning
to drive him crazy,

it's working.

♪ We are springtime's
pretty flowers ♪

♪ See us blossom
one by one... ♪

Still .

Shh.

(applause)

Thank you.

And now D.W. Read will recite
a poem that she wrote.

(whispering)

It appears that D.W. won't
be reciting her poem.

So, we'll go right
to intermission.

Mom and Dad said
I could leave now.

D.W. dropped out.

It's just the other kids
after this.

Cool, let's go.

Uh, hang on.

Why didn't you do
your poem?

I couldn't get anyone
to do it with me.

Big deal.

Do it by yourself.

It's a two-person poem,
Arthur Read.

If you knew anything
about poetry,

you'd know you can't do
a two-person poem

with only one person.

Oh.

Ready?

Yeah, okay.

(sighs)

One sec.

(sighs)

Nobody else in the whole class
would do it with you?

That's really mean.

You coming?

Hang on.

Look, D.W., if you really,
really need another person

to do your poem...

Arthur, you're the best
brother ever!

Come on.

Go ahead, I'll meet you
at Muffy's.

What, and miss this?

No way.

D.W.:
It's simple.

When it starts,
you just stand there.

Then...

(loud whistle)

We got your call.

What's the big emergency?

I just thought
you'd want to see something

on the way to the party.

For our final performance,
a poem by D.W. Read.

(applause)

(quietly):
No way!

I'm not doing this!

"My Best Friend,"
a poem by D.W. Read.

(clears throat)

(sighs)

My best friend lives
in my house.

He isn't a lion
and he isn't a mouse.

He's a chimpanzee.

And he goes...

Ah-ah, ee-ee, oo-oo.

Louder!

Ah-ah, ee-ee, oo-oo.

You have to act
like a chimpanzee.

Ah-ah oo-oo oo-oo!

(audience laughing)

He climbs on furniture
and hangs on lamps.

And when he's happy,
he does a silly dance.

Oo-oo ah-ah ee-ee!

(laughing)

Oo-oo ah-ah ee-ee!

(giggling)

He walks on his hands
and sleeps in a drawer.

My best friend is a chimpanzee,
but he never is a bore.

The end.

(cheering)

See, that wasn't so bad.

Go, Arthur!

Yay, chimp!

MOM:
Have fun at your party.

Congratulations!

Or as they say
in chimpanzee,

"Oo-oo, ah-ah!"

Hey, come on!

Arthur's not the only
talented one, you know.

I only did it because
her friends all told her no.

Can I have your autograph?

Me too!

That was funny!

EMILY:
The Tibbles want one.

They're jealous.

They want to be
chimpanzees too.

Well, I guess you're all wishing
you had said yes

when D.W. asked you.

Asked us what?

To be the...

(gasps)

I don't believe it!

(laughing)

She got you!

D.W.!

(laughing)

Okay, ha-ha,
very funny.

You can stop laughing now.

So she never really asked
anyone else to be the chimp?

I guess you shouldn't have
told her it would be boring.

I'll get her back.

You wait.

We'll see who's the chimp.

FRANCINE:
Admit it, Arthur.

You'll never win.

D.W.'s too smart.

ARTHUR:
I guess it was pretty funny.

BINKY:
Do it again.

Be a chimpanzee.

No...

Come on, be a chimp!

No way!

Okay, then I will.

Oo-oo, ah-ah!

(all join in)

Oo-oo, ah-ah!

And noa word from us kids!

Hi, my name is Sloane.

I'm in Miss Morrell's
second grade class.

Today, we're going
to write some poems,

and we're going to write
those poems with our friends.

We're writing poems
about friendship

and what makes a good friend.

What do you want to be
when you grow up?

I think I want to be
an oceanographer.

Me too!

Let's write that.

Our poem's about friendship

and how we're different
and the same.

We are writing poems
for two or three voices,

and then we are going
to act them out.

Our poem is about friends,

and we're going to be friends
till we're old ladies.

Friends will never, ever
not be friends,

even when they're old ladies!

We're old ladies!

Our poem is about free hugs.

First, we wrote the poems,

then we added the motions
for the performance.

We are still trying to practice
our motions for our performance.

People sometimes read poetry
in coffee houses.

We got a hot cocoa house.

After we rehearsed the poems,
we got ready to perform them.

Hugs make people feel warm,

warm like hot cocoa
on a rainy day.

Wahoo!

Giving hugs is awesome,
like a dancing unicorn lollipop.

(applause)

When I had my tonsils out,

Owen came to visit me
with bowls of ice cream.

There's no friendship
as awesome as this.

(applause)

Friends will never, ever
not be friends,

even when they're old ladies!

(laughing)

(applause)

Write a poem and act it out!

(snapping fingers)

And now, back to Arthur!

D.W.:
It's here!

It's here, it's here!

Kids have it easy today.

They don't need to use
their imagination.

Back when my Dad was a kid,

he played something called
"flashlight tag."

Were you supposed to tag
the flashlight?

Or was the flashlight
supposed to tag you?

And in my Grandma's day,

they used to play something
called "kick the can."

Now what?

An old soup can.

That was her toy.

You have to come over
right now.

My new play-set
is here!

And when I was a kid,

you had to go to the park
to play on the jungle gym.

Now it comes to you.

Yep, kids sure have it easy.

(gasps)

DAD:
Well, this looks...

easy.

I think you have
the instructions upside down.

Oh, that's better.

Sort of.

It's called the New Fün Stüff
Turvallisuus.

It's the best play-set
in the entire world.

We're going to have
that much fun.

BUD:
I didn't know it was possible
to have that much fun.

Me neither!

Hmm.

I wonder what's taking so long?

Is it ready yet?

It's going to take
a little while.

There are lots of pieces
to put together.

You'll just have
to be patient, sweetie.

Okay.

I can be patient.

Now what is this?

I can't find it
in the parts guide.

Is it ready yet?

D.W...

But I've been waiting
years and years

for this new play-set!

You saw it in an ad
three weeks ago.

Where's Arthur?

Why isn't he helping?

If he got a Turvallisuus,
I'd be helping him.

I'm right here.

And I am helping.

I made lemonade.

Of course you'd be thinking
of your belly

at a time like this.

DAD:
Oh, that reminds me.

I took some cupcakes
out of the oven.

Would you mind
icing them for me?

Why don't you play with Bud
and Emily to pass the time?

Hmph!

"Be patient, D.W."

"You have to wait, D.W."

What do parents have
against the word "now"?

EMILY:
It's ginormous!

(sniffing)

And it smells
so cardboardy.

Guys, it's just a box.

You know what happens
with boxes?

You fall in love with them,
and then they get recycled.

Yeah, but until then,
it could be a covered wagon.

Or a space covered wagon
for moon settlers.

Okay, but there has to be
a spinning wheel

and the monsters
can't be too scary.

Deal.

Boring.

You can be
the captain.

(sigh)

Well, someone
has to do it.

Captain, we're
approaching the moon.

How about we set up camp
right here,

next to the Desert
of Readyardica?

Sounds good.

Set her down gently,
Officer Bud.

Got everything we need
to set up camp,

Officer Emily?

Spinning wheel, tin cups,
tea, marshmallows...

Aye-aye, Cap'n.

Let's do this.

(roaring)

(kids screaming)

Watch out!

Don't let it in!

(barking playfully)

(roaring)

It's a Giant
Moon Hamster!

Whatever you do,
don't let it lick you!

Its drool is like lava!

You promised the monsters
wouldn't be too scary.

Don't worry, Officer Em.

I know how to take care
of Moon Hamsters.

You just have
to distract them.

(ball beeping rapidly)

C'mon!

Now's our chance!

(whimpering)

The cupcakes are ready!

Looks like Moon Hamsters
aren't the only creatures here.

What's that?

It's a Giant Brobot!

Derp, flen, glen...

D.W.:
We'll have to avoid him
at all costs!

Fortunately,
Brobots aren't very bright,

so it shouldn't be that hard.

EMILY:
What's he carrying?

D.W.:
Super Ziloonian Crystals!

Really?

They look a lot like cupcakes.

Yeah, I'm seeing cupcakes, too.

Well, you're both seeing wrong,

because they're
Super Ziloonian Crystals,

and I'm the captain,
so that's that.

Okay.

Can we eat Super
Ziloonian Crystals?

I hear they're
delicious.

No!

Only if we bring them back
to the ship

and de-Arthurize them.

That will make them
safe to eat.

Great!

Let's go get 'em!

Wait.

We need a plan.

Here's what we'll do...

EMILY:
Hey, look what I can do!

Ha-ha-ha,
ha-ha-ha.

Hurry, Officer Bud!

The Brobots have very short
attention spans!

Almost there!

(grunting)

(loud banging)

I wonder what they're building.

Got it!

Captain D.W.?

Where'd you go?

Mm!

Scrumptious, moist
Ziloonian Crystals...

I'm sure just one
wouldn't k*ll me.

Might be a clue.

Bud!

No!

Those crystals
aren't safe!

Gah!

Derp, flen, glen!

I...

Like...

Bionic Bunny...

I can't distract
the Brobot anymore.

(gasps)

What's wrong with Bud?

He has advanced
Arthuritis!

We have to get him
back to the ship.

Thank goodness
I brought this red wagon.

(weakly):
Here's my homework,
Mr. Ratburn...

Grr!

Hey, what are all the cupcakes
doing down there?

We couldn't reach them.

Run!

Grr!

My crystals!

(roaring)

(grunting)

Go fetch,
you giant hairball!

(roaring)

(electrical buzzing)

Nice to have you back,
Officer Bud.

Whew!

That was horrible!

But so worth it.

Hey, you've had yours.

Captain,

I've been running some tests
on the strange object you found.

It's called a floogle,

and it's a key part
of an alien spaceship.

So that thing the Brobots
are building is a spaceship.

Where are they headed?

Isn't it obvious?

They're going to fly
to Earth

with their delicious
Ziloonian crystals

and give everyone
Arthuritis.

(gasps)

We have to stop them!

BUD:
Wait!

I have to go
to the bathroom.

What? Come on!

Right now?

Sorry, nature calls.

I'm using
an official time-out.

This is the best box ever!

If it had a bathroom,
I'd live in it.

D.W., you'll be happy to know
that we're almost finished.

Oh, okay.

No need to rush.

Two hours ago,
it was "I need it now!"

Now there's no need to rush.

I think something is
supposed to go right here.

Hmm...

It's probably something
just for decoration.

I say we're done.

I'll start cleaning up.

So we'll fly back to Earth
and warn everyone,

and then...

No!

Wait, stop!

You're destroying it!

What?

Dad said to fold it up
for the recycling.

See?

I told you!

Big empty boxes
break your heart.

MOM:
Oh, D.W...

Ta-da!

I don't want to play on that.

I want to play with the box!

D.W., we spent a lot
of time building this,

so I suggest you rethink
your attitude here.

Why don't you give
the play-set a try?

(bored):
Whee.

I think it's time
for a coffee break.

I'll join you.

Well, there goes
our ship.

How will we ever
get back to Earth?

D.W.:
We won't.

We're stuck on the boring
old moon forever.

Wait!

What if we took
the Brobot's spaceship?

That's a great idea!

And you have
the missing piece!

The floogle.

Come on, Captain,
what do you say?

Shall we try it?

I guess it's
worth a sh*t.

Yay!

All right!

But we're not
going back home.

We're going to Mars.

EMILY:
Too bad I lost
my spinning wheel.

Maybe there'll be one
in the new ship.

D.W.:
Probably.

Brobots love to knit.

BUD:
Will there be
Ziloonian Crystals on Mars?

I'm starving!

See?

I told you
she'd come around.

I still say we get her
empty boxes for Christmas.

BUSTER:
To watch more Arthur

and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books too

at your local library.