19x09 - Mr. Ratburn's Secret Identity/Besties

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa...

(crash)

ARTHUR:
Cool movie.

But how come no one ever guesses
Dark Bunny

is really billionaire
Deuce Dwayne?

BUSTER:
You know, it is kind
of unbelievable.

(whistle blows)

(gasps)

Gumdrop?

Doesn't anyone
find it strange

that Deuce has really
bulging muscles?

Or that he ducks
into a supply closet

whenever danger appears?

Or that he looks
exactly like Dark Bunny?

Maybe other people just
don't notice these things.

That's true.

Not everyone is as observant
as you and me.

BUSTER:
One thing's for sure.

If there was a superhero
masquerading as a normal person

in Elwood City,
we'd figure it out.

MR. RATBURN:
Good morning, everyone.

Nothing starts the day off
like a bracing pop quiz!

(groaning)

(cell phone rings)

Who brought a portable telephone
into my classroom?

(ringing continues)

Oh dear, it's me!

How embarrassing.

Hello?

Really?

Really?!

Merciful Mikado,
I must leap into action!

Forgive me, class,
but duty calls.

I'll fetch Principal Haney
to look after you.

In the meantime,
you may forget the quiz

and instead watch
this entertaining film.

FILM NARRATOR:
There are over , species
of the freshwater mollusk...

"Forget the quiz"?

I didn't think
I'd ever hear those words

come out of his mouth.

And what did he mean
by "duty calls"?

Maybe he's a volunteer fireman.

I don't think so.

Well, maybe he's
a volunteer chef for firemen

who steps in
when the normal chef is out

because his cat is sick.

What? It's possible.

I've got it!

(sighs)

I know what you're
going to say:

Mr. Ratburn has been
replaced by an alien.

I wasn't going
to say that.

Oh.

I was going to say

Mr. Ratburn escaped from aliens

and now uses their
advanced technology

to fight crime as a superhero.

How do you figure that?

He's got a Rat Phone.

When there's trouble,
he gets the distress call,

and away he goes.

Buster, Mr. Ratburn
is not a superhero,

just like he wasn't
a nail-eating vampire.

A nail-eating vampire?

When we first met
Mr. Ratburn,

we were convinced
he was a vampire,

but it turned out he was
just an amateur puppeteer.

This is different.

You heard that call.

So?

It was just one call.

We need more proof
than that.

PRINCIPAL HANEY:
Always happy to step in
for a teacher.

Everything okay?

Everything is splendid!

Sir Chester Wemple
is coming to town.

Well, I'll be!

Uh, who's Sir Chester Wemple?

Only the world's greatest
light opera singer.

He's just agreed to guest star

in our community
theater's production

of The Pirates
of Penzance.

And he's coming
tomorrow.

I didn't know you were a member
of an opera troupe.

What do you sing?

Oh, I just do
costumes and props.

Although I do know
every word by heart.

♪ Come one and all,
undaunted men in blue ♪

♪ A crisis, now,
affairs are coming to! ♪

♪ Yet when the danger's near ♪

♪ Tarantara, tarantara! ♪

♪ We manage to appear! ♪

I knew it!

(lasers f*ring)

(kids screaming)

Hide your homework!

Martians are stealing
your education.

The Earthlings cannot defeat us
if they never learn anything.

(evil laughter)

Don't be afraid.

Rocket Rat is here
to make the grade!

School's out, Mr. Martian!

(aliens screaming)

And you're headed
straight to detention.

Meddlesome rodent.

Let's see how well you steer
without a rudder!

(evil laughter)

Uh-oh.

(screaming)

Lucky for me, I never leave home
without my ace mechanic,

Sparky!

And I never leave home
without my trusty socket wrench.

Way to think
on the fly, Sparky!

I should have invaded Venus.

BUSTER:
And then, after Rocket Rat
has saved the world,

he changes back
into his regular clothes

and is Mr. Ratburn again.

That sounds just like
something I would make up.

But I'm telling you,
I saw it.

Let's see.

Props for the beach scene.

Fake seaweed: check.

Realistic-looking
boulders: check.

Are they papier-mâché?

Yep, light as a feather.

Oops!

I'll believe Mr. Ratburn
has super powers

when I see it for myself.

(loud crash)

(whispering):
Now do you believe me?

LADONNA:
There's a legend in the Bayou.

A creature born of algae
and radioactive chalk dust.

He is lonely, misunderstood,

and I alone
can communicate with him.

(screams)

Beware what lays
in the swamp!

(roaring)

(grunting)

Whoa!

LADONNA:
Swamp Rat!

You saved my life!

And I also saved you
from poor grammar.

That creature should have said,
"Beware what lies in the swamp."

Come!

I will show you the way
out of this infernal swamp

and teach you about the
conjugation of irregular verbs.

And then the Swamp Rat
drinks a potion

that turns him back
into Mr. Ratburn.

Although sometimes
he forgets

and leaves a little bit
of algae on his shoulder.

ARTHUR:
Ladonna, that's the silliest
story I've ever heard.

BUSTER:
Yeah, if Mr. Ratburn were
Rocket Rat and The Swamp Rat,

he'd never have
time to teach.

That's not what I...

Okay, this has got to stop.

I'm going to prove to you
once and for all

that Mr. Ratburn
is not a superhero.

Pirate costume complete.

Hmm, the actor does leap
about the stage quite a bit.

I'd better test them out.

Where are we going?

To Ratburn's house.

We're going to get to the bottom
of this once and for all.

♪ ♪

Yes, I believe these should
hold up nicely.

(wind whistling)

Oh, dear.

I'm locked out!

LADONNA:
Wait!

Maybe we shouldn't
bother him.

Yeah, what if he's training
for his next mission?

Oh, yeah.

He's probably scaling the walls
of his house right now.

(both gasp)

What?

(loud stomping)

I want to watch
Mary Moo Cow now!

D.W. ate my experimental
high yeast muffins,

and now she's expanded.

Who can we turn to?

(rock music playing)

♪ Silkworm-Man, Silkworm-Man
does whatever a pupate can ♪

♪ Throws up silk
when danger's close ♪

♪ From his mouth,
it's kinda gross ♪

♪ Look there! ♪

♪ He wraps up the case
with cloth ♪

♪ Someday, he'll be a moth ♪

♪ He's the Silkworm-Man! ♪

Too much yeast, eh?

Well, if memory serves,

nothing stops yeast
from expanding like...

Anybody?

It's a teachable moment!

(truck beeping)

Nothing stops yeast like salt,

Silkworm Man!

Excellent, Larva Lad!

My trusty sidekick.

But how will we get her
to eat all that salt?

Fortuitously, there was also
a truck full of popcorn

parked around the corner.

Mmm!

Popcorn!

Grr!

It's bland!

Mmm...

Ah, I'm shrinking!

Swell job, Larva Lad!

Another case
sewn up tight.

And I turned around,

and there he was in costume
on the roof!

MR. RATBURN:
Apologies if I'm not

in top form today.

I was up rather late
attending to an urgent matter.

Mr. Ratburn,
I just want you to know that

if your cell phone rings...

And you have to go
rescue someone,

like, from a swamp
or whatever...

We can cause a distraction
while you...

(whispers):
...fight the forces of evil.

Yes, well,
I'll keep that in mind.

Let's start the day off
with a make-up quiz.

Now, if someone
would pass these...

I'll do it!

I'm your sidekick!

I should do it!

I'll help you,
Swamp Rat!

MR. RATBURN:
Such enthusiasm.

I'll have to give
quizzes more often.

(phone ringing)

It's the Rat Phone!

Quick, cause
a distraction!

Help, a toad's
eating my leg!

Would someone care to explain
what's going on here?

I really thought Mr. Ratburn
was a superhero.

I can't believe he's just
a costume designer.

I can't believe our punishment
is to watch this opera.

It's not a punishment,
Buster.

It's The Pirates
of Penzance.

And this opera is full
of fascinating heroes.

Great Gilbert and Sullivan,

it's Sir Chester Wemple!

Mr. Wemple, it is an honor
and a privilege.

You can't go on
because you have laryngitis?

Who will sing the part
of the Major General?

Me?

No, no, I could never!

I mean, I do know
the lyrics by heart,

but I haven't rehearsed.

Do it, Mr. Ratburn.

Come on, you'll be great.

ARTHUR:
You could save the day!

♪ I am the very model
of a modern Major-General ♪

♪ I've information vegetable,
animal, and mineral ♪

♪ I know the kings
of England... ♪

Do you believe me now?

♪ From Marathon to Waterloo,
in order categorical... ♪

And now a word from us kids!

Hi, my name's Isaiah,

and I am in Miss Chester's
second grade class.

Arthur and Buster thought
Mr. Ratburn was a superhero.

Today, we're talking about what
kind of superheroes we would be.

I want you to think about
what your secret talent is,

how you are almost like
a superhero.

My secret talent is eating
Italian ice.

My secret talent is gymnastics

and my superhero's name
is Flippy Girl.

I like to dance and I like
to show my friends how I dance.

Go Teagan, go Teagan!

We're making comic strips
about our super talents.

When you make the comic,
you need to draw the pictures

and put them in order
to tell a story.

My superhero is Sports Winner
because I love playing sports.

I'm Super Singer.

If bad guys come,
I sing and calm then down.

Super Singer!

♪ La, la, la, la! ♪

I've Brave Girl because I help
take care of my sisters.

My superhero is
Italian Ice Eater.

I load a ball of Italian ice
and then I sh**t it at bad guys,

and the bad guys
get a brain freeze.

I'm on my way to save the day!

Do do do-do!

Now we're making
superhero costumes.

I am Sports Winner!

I am Brave Girl!

I am Super Helpful!

I am Flippy Girl!

I am Super Glasses!

♪ La, la, la, la! ♪

Try to think of your own
super talent.

ALL:
Do do do-do!

And now, back to Arthur!

It's easy to know
when something is the best.

It's just obvious.

Like who's the best dog.

Pal!

The best pizza.

The best student.

The best piece of ginger
shaped like a camel.

Best Bionic Bunny episode ever.

But is it the same
with friends?

Can you have more
than one best one?

Hmm...

(gasps)

Buster, wait!

I was just kidding.

You know it's you.

(doorbell rings)

(squeaking)

What are you guys doing?

We're meerkats!

Coming to take you

to "Mr. Meerkat's
Merry Misadventure"!

In D!

I'm sorry, guys, I can't go.

Why not?

Dad reminded me
that I promised

to help clean out
the garage.

I was supposed
to do it yesterday,

but I totally forgot.

Aw...

You two go without me.

I hear it's supposed
to be great.

(whistling)

Too bad Arthur
couldn't come.

Yeah, I wish he was here.

Not that this isn't fun.

Oh no, this is fun.

I'm having fun.

Are you having fun?

Tons of fun!

What could be
more fun than this?

Absolutely nothing.

It's just that...

If Arthur were here...

...it'd be even funner.

Right!

More fun.

What?

"More fun."

It's more grammatically...

Never mind.

Is this line even moving?

(loud shaking)

Look out!

She's gonna blow!

(expl*si*n)

(customers cheering)

Sparky, no!

Come back!

(chuckling)

(laughing)

It was hysterical!

There was popcorn
everywhere.

And then the dog got sick.

Right on the old
woman's shoes.

(laughing)

Heh-heh.

Weird!

Hey, how was the movie?

I don't remember.

Not as good as...

Popcorn Pandemonium!

In D!

(laughing)

You really had to be there.

I wish I had been.

Did you hear
the forecast today?

Cloudy with a chance
of... popcorn!

I thought you
should have this.

(laughing)

(sighs)

You just had to be there.

LADONNA:
And then this guy
came out

with a little broom
and dustpan.

But it didn't even
make a dent.

I've still got kernels
in my pockets.

Me too!

Just when you least expect it,

Popcorn Pandemonium
strikes again!

(imitating expl*si*n)

(laughing)

(sighs)

I know.

"Had to be there."

How about I get
into my time machine,

go back two days,

and we can all
experience it together?

(gasps)

When did you get a time machine?

That's how it starts.

How what starts?

Losing your best friend.

I remember Marilyn Labatsky...

She was my bestie
before I came to Lakewood.

We were a team.

Inseparable.

Two peas in a pod.

Then she showed up.

Sybil Whitcraft.

She was mysterious, cool,
and a whiz at cat's cradle.

We both liked her instantly.

For a while,
all three of us hung out.

But then one day,
I caught a cold

and couldn't go
to macramé class.

(blows nose)

Marilyn and Sybil went
without me.

I never found out what happened
in that macramé class,

but from that day on,
I had been replaced.

Tossed out like...

like this half-eaten,
mealy Macoun apple.

Buster would never
do that to me.

I hope not, Arthur.

I hope not.

(laughing)

(doorbell rings)

Hey, there he is!

My best bud
in the whole world!

I brought you a pie.

You brought me a pie?

Yep.

Dad and I made it
this morning.

It's boysenberry--
your favorite.

Why'd you bring me a pie?

No reason.

I just thought maybe my pal
Buster would like some pie.

Weird, I would like
some pie.

Hey, maybe you're psychic!

Nah, I just know
what you're thinking sometimes

because we're best buds.

Sit, sit,
I'll get you a plate.

You sure you don't want any?

Nope, it's all for you.

Good, right?

Did you bring me this pie
because you want to borrow

my Curse of the Moomies
videogame?

'Cause you didn't
have to.

What?

No, I don't want anything.

I just felt like
doing something nice.

Oh, that reminds me...

When I was cleaning out
the garage,

I found these old photos.

There we are
at the amusement park.

And at the beach.

And this is when we were four.

(Buster chuckling)

We sure have known
each other for a long time.

We sure have.

You know what I think
the best thing

about best friends is?

They're irreplaceable!

Well, I gotta go.

Enjoy the rest of that pie,
and have a wonderful day.

And it wasn't
just the pie.

He also organized
my locker.

I don't know.

Maybe he's telling the truth
and just being nice.

No, I know Arthur
better than anyone.

Something is definitely up.

ARTHUR:
Hey, guys!

What are you talking about?

Mock turtle soup.

The Pythagorean Theorem.

Oh, I just remembered,

I've got to go finish
my, uh, history report.

I'll help you!

You know me, just can't
get enough history.

♪ Old friends are great ♪

♪ They love what you love
and hate what you hate ♪

♪ You always know
just what they're gonna do ♪

♪ But every now and then,
you need to start again ♪

♪ And spend time
with someone new, whoo! ♪

♪ She's my new best friend! ♪

♪ I'm his new best friend! ♪

♪ Together, there's nothing
we can't do! ♪

Climb a tree!

Build a fort!

Have some tea!

Invent a sport!

♪ And the best thing is,
we'll do it without you! ♪

Hey, Ladonna,
knock knock!

Who's there?

Arthur!

Arthur who?

Ar-thur any other fun things
to do without him?

♪ I know this is upsetting ♪

♪ But me,
you'll start forgetting ♪

♪ So dry your eyes
and don't be blue ♪

♪ Maybe somewhere out there
is a new best friend for you. ♪

(snorting)

(gasps)

Hey, Ladonna.

Here's the baseball mitt
I borrowed.

You didn't borrow that
from me.

I didn't?

Huh!

Maybe I borrowed it
from Buster.

Oh, by the way, I wouldn't take
what he said to heart.

He just gets grumpy
sometimes.

Wait, what?

What did Buster say?

He told me
you were "kinda pushy."

I just assumed you two
had some sort of a fight.

"Kinda pushy"?

Like I said,
he was probably just grumpy.

Forget I said anything.

Hey, look what I found
in my shoe this morning.

So?

What do you want?

A Nobel Prize?

What was that all about?

She's probably just cranky.

It might be why she told me

"A little Buster
goes a long way."

What?

Why'd she say that?

Beats me.

Like I said,
she's probably just cranky.

Hey, you want to go
to the zoo this weekend?

There's a new
monkey exhibit.

Um... yeah, sure.

BUSTER:
What did she mean?

Should I be less Bustery?

I can't.

I'm % me.

Just forget it.

I'm sure she didn't mean it.

I think the monkeys
are this way.

Look, there she is!

(gasps)

I'm gonna go talk to her.

Wait, no!

Let's see the seals instead!

It's feeding time!

What do you mean,
a little me goes a long way?

I never said that!

Maybe you just thought I did
because you think I'm so pushy.

I...

Hey, look, monkeys!

Boy, are they cute!

I don't think
you're pushy.

Then why'd you tell Arthur
I was?

They're so hysterical!

(Arthur laughing)

I can barely stand it!

I didn't!

Well, then why...?

Okay, okay!

It was me.

Neither of you said anything
about each other.

I made it all up.

But... why?

Because I thought you two
were becoming best friends,

and that I would be left out.

I'm really, really sorry.

(monkeys screeching)

Hey!

Give that back!

Hey, look!

The monkey got his camera!

(laughing)

So this one monkey runs around
taking pictures...

And then the zookeeper
gets the camera back...

But then another monkey
steals the zookeeper's hat!

(laughing)

I guess you just
had to be there.

(laughing)

BUSTER:
To watch more Arthur

and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books too

at your local library.