01x06 - Krill

[bunniefuu]

Okay, let's hear it.

How did you dump him?
Everyone wants to know.

There's nothing juicy to tell.

I just told him that
if he couldn't get comfortable

with our differences, then there
was no point dragging this out.

And by "differences,"
you mean the fact that

you could bench press him
with one arm.

Apparently, having a girlfriend

with ten times
your physical strength

makes a guy feel emasculated.

Wow, you're just gonna have
to date Isaac here.

I am fascinated

by the interpersonal behavior
of biological organisms.

I would be happy
to attempt sexual relations

with you, Lieutenant.

I'm actually just sort of
working on myself right now.

Um... but thanks.

Lieutenant...

what is that?

What, you never seen sushi?

It's a regional dish from Earth.

Raw fish. You want to try it?

- No, wait, that's wasabi.
- Wait. Whoa!

You got to be kidding me.
He just...

You just ate the whole ball.
Dude, are you okay?

I am feeling no discomfort.

How? If I ate half that much,

I'd be throwing up
and crying in it.

The Moclan digestive system
is quite resilient.

Because of our planet's
harsh climate,

my species evolved
to draw nourishment

from a wide variety of
organic and inorganic matter.

Wait. So you can eat anything?

I can eat many things.

Can you eat this napkin?

Ooh!

Hang on. Hang on.

One cactus plant.

Can you eat this?

Come on, Gordon, don't...
He's gonna hurt himself.

Come on! No way!

What about this glass?

This is gonna be fun.
This is... Ew.

This is gonna be
a new fun thing.

Hang on. I'm gonna find
a bag of nails.

Bridge to all senior officers.

We're receiving
a priority one distress call.

Report to the bridge.

We're gonna come back to this.

How long before we arrive
at the colony?

About two minutes out, sir.

Still no other Union ships
in the sector?

Negative, Commander.

Coming into scanner range now,
Captain.

One Krill battle
cruiser detected.

Kastra 4 has pretty weak
planetary defenses, don't they?

They're a brandnew colony.

Damn it, this is the third
Krill att*ck in a month.

I have visual contact, sir.

Aw, man,
they're getting clobbered.

Ed, there are families down there.
I know.

There's probably a lot
of single people, too.

Sir, the offensive capabilities
of the Krill ship

are significantly superior
to our own.

Alara, open a hailing channel.

Attention, Krill ship,

this is the U.S.S...

I haven't done it yet.

Sorry.

Okay, you're on.

Now? Yeah.

All right.
Attention, Krill ship,

this is the U.S.S. Orville.

Cease fire immediately,
or we will respond.

In the history of space
battles, has that ever worked?

They have ceased f*ring
upon the planet.

I stand corrected.

Yeah, I...

I don't think it worked.

Deflectors down to 87%.

Return fire.

Direct hit. No damage.

Somebody put that out!

What happened
to a*t*matic fire suppression?

That's the panel
that caught fire.

Ed, if we stay in a pounding match...
We lose. I know.

Gordon, can you take us into the
upper atmosphere of the planet?

Just skim the surface
between air and space.

Captain, that'll create
a lot of friction.

With the deflectors low,
the atmosphere...

Can you do it?

Yes, sir.

All right, take us in.

Bortus, prepare to launch
all plasma torpedoes

simultaneously.

Sir, that will leave us
virtually defenseless.

Follow my orders.
Gordon, how close?

Entering upper atmosphere, sir.

The Krill ship is continuing
weapons fire.

They seem unable
to lock onto us.

You're throwing up
a smoke screen.

Their scanners are blinded.

Gordon, on my mark,

take a straight sh*t upward,
and I mean hard. Aye, sir.

Now.

Fire torpedoes.

Alara, hail the colony.

You're on, sir.

Kastra 4, this is
Captain Ed Mercer

of the U.S.S. Orville.
What is your condition?

Captain,
this is Mining Chief Leidecker.

We got hit hard.

There are dozens of casualties.

19 people
already confirmed dead.

All right, stand by.
We're sending help.

Mercer out.

Bridge to sickbay. Dr. Finn,
assemble a medical team.

Aye, sir.

Ed.

Look.

To the victor...

go the spoils.

Captain Mercer,
this is a game changer.

An intact, functioning
Krill shuttle.

Every once in a while
you get lucky.

It was just floating
out there in the wreckage.

I imagine

the Union engineering
corps is gonna have

a field day pulling
this thing apart.

I'm sure they would.

But we have
a different plan in mind.

Despite all of our
engagements with the Krill,

we've only managed to gain
a few scraps of intelligence

regarding their
culture. Generally,

when a civilization becomes
more technologically advanced,

their adherence

to religion declines.

But the Krill are an exception.

They've clung fiercely
to their faith,

even into the age
of interstellar travel.

All we know of their religion

is that it places
the Krill people

above all other forms of life.

When they att*ck
a colony for its resources,

they don't see it
as an evil act.

It's their "divine right."

God created plants and animals
solely for the use of man.

We can't reason with them.

And if we went to w*r,
they'd see it as a holy crusade,

which means
it could last decades.

Well, we also can't just sit by
and do nothing

while these att*cks continue.

We need to understand them.

Find a way to communicate
in a fashion that resonates.

We need to obtain a copy
of the Anhkana.

What's the Anhkana?

The Krill Bible...

It determines their code
of conduct in all matters.

It would go a long way toward
helping us find an inroad.

How do we get one?

Union intelligence believes that

every Krill ship has
at least one on board.

Well, you're not gonna
find one out there...

That ship is decimated.

You're going to find one.

S... Sorry...

so... sorry, what, now?

You and your helmsmen
are gonna take that shuttle

across the border
and infiltrate a Krill vessel.

You're going to obtain a copy
of the Anhkana. Admiral,

there has to be someone with
more undercover experience.

Thanks.

What? You want to risk death
on a Krill ship?

No, but yyou also don't have
to make me look bad

with company over.

We have a window of opportunity

to make use of the shuttle
before they know we have it.

The shuttle is here,
you're here,

and we all know that Malloy
is the best pilot in the fleet.

Get prepped, Captain.
You got the job.

Kitan to shuttle bay.

We're approaching the border
of Krill space.

Acknowledged.

You almost finished?

Yes, sir. The shuttle
is ready to depart.

Grayson to Mercer.

The shuttle is prepped
and ready to launch.

Move!

Everyone

just stay calm.

If we do what he says,
he won't hurt anyone.

What do you want?

Which one of you... is Bortus?

I am Bortus.

I...

want you...

to eat my w*apon.

What?

Man! My God.

Your faces were freakin' priceless.
That was great.

That was great. What the
hell's going on here?

Gordon?

Dude, that was hilarious.

They're miniature holographic
generators, courtesy of Isaac.

We can fool

their eyes and
their bioscanners.

Ed, they're sending you
into enemy space,

and you're acting
like it's some big joke.

My God, if you are discovered...

Look, Kelly, why do you think

I'm trying
to lighten the mood here?

I'm scared off my ass.

Just...

do me a favor, okay?

Be very, very careful.

I will.

I promise.

Grayson to bridge.

Stand by to launch.

Better yet, off?

What are you reading?

It's the intelligence briefing
the admiral prepared.

You should be reading it, too.

Well, just summarize the important parts.
Listen to this.

Apparently, the atmosphere
of the Krill home world

is permanently shrouded

by a dense cloud cover
that obscures 96%

of the sunlight from
the planet's surface.

A world existing
in perpetual night.

No wonder they're
so cranky all the time.

Crap. You know
what we forgot to do?

What? We forgot to come
up with Krill names.

My God, you're right. Yeah.
What do Krill names sound like?

I don't know. I don't
think anybody knows.

Probably exotic and alien.

Probably, yeah.
Like Quarz... noth,

like that kind of thing.

Zang... tozon.

Kreeyewloxstein.

Probably not "stein."
No, not "stein."

Like a Haj... valorp.

Froozhengladje.

Haagendazs. Yeah, see, any one

of these could be right...
We don't know.

There's a ship approaching.

A Krill destroyer.

Man. This is it.

All right, switch 'em on.

This is the Yakar.
Identify yourself.

Yakar, we are a shuttle
from the Krill ship Kakov.

Request permission to dock.

They're scanning us.

We're about to find out whether
or not these things work.

You are clear for docking.

You ready?

Yeah.

Hey there. How's it going?

Come with us. The captain
wishes to speak with you.

Welcome, brothers, to the Yakar.

I am Captain Haros.

This is our
High Priest, Sazeron.

Hi. I'm... Chris.

And this is... Devon.

Those are strange names.

Yeah, not like Haros.

Hey, listen,

thank you so much
for rescuing us.

We've been through an ordeal.

What happened to the Kakov?

It was destroyed in a battle

with a Union ship, the Orville.

We were the only two survivors;
We barely escaped

with our lives.
Yeah, they must've had

a crazy good pilot.

I mean, the moves on this guy.

We... we just
never had a chance.

Strange that you were
the only survivors.

Well... we were...

conducting maintenance
on a shuttle at the time,

and when the Kakov
was destroyed,

the shuttle was thrown
clear into space.

Seems you were
unusually fortunate.

Well... Devon and I prayed

that we would be rescued, and...

here you are, so...

Can't... can't do that in these.

We are pleased to be
the answer to your prayers.

Don't you agree,

Sazeron?

The Anhkana teaches
that all Krill are brothers

in the Great Crusade.

The Anhkana.

ThatThat's my favorite book.

Since you have had
a close engagement

with a Union ship,
perhaps you have information

that could be useful
to our present mission.

What... mission is that?

I'd like to hear about it.

Come.

It is time for services.

I always look forward

to this time of day.

It is a welcome break
from our duties, and a reminder

of our place in the universe
and in the eyes

of Avis.

Avis?

Yes, I agree.

I find services to be
a great source of comfort.

Yeah. Yeah, yyou know,
it's also kind of fun

to see how your coworkers dress
when they're off the clock.

You know, 'cause I think
everybody's got their own style

that they don't really get to...
to show during work hours.

I think it's great to see people

get to really express themselves
through fashion.

Like, you really get to see
the person inside.

You know? Indeed.

This chapel is a recreation

of the one in which
I worshipped as a child.

Well, I guess it's true
what they say:

Rank has its privileges.

I have never heard
that aphorism.

Who says it?

I... I guess
it's me who says it.

It is a wise observation.

Take any place you wish.

We will speak later.

Hello.

Hi.

I am Teleya.

I have not seen you
at services before.

No, actually, we just got here.

I'm Chris and this is Devon.

We were on the Kakov.

You were?

My brother was on the Kakov.

I'm... I'm very sorry.

He is now at peace
in the arms of Avis.

Should we tell them their god is

a 20th century car rental company?
Quiet.

Perhaps you knew my brother.

He was the tactical officer.

His name was Arnak.

Yeah, no, I... Great guy.

Then you were friends?

Um...

we were, we were.

Yeah, really tight,
me and that guy.

Buddies for life.

Devon and Arnak.

"Darnak," they called us.

Strange he never spoke of you.

You say you were close?

Man, yeah. Yeah, we...

we used to take baths together.

I'm really gonna miss him.

As am I.

I do know that he
really loved his sister.

That is good to hear.

I know Avis will protect
his eternal soul.

Yeah, he's... he's got
the gold membership now.

Shh. He's not waiting
in any lines.

Going right to his car.

For God's sake, shut up.

A blessed evening.

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen Emideen.

Katniss Everdeen.

Let us now cleanse.

This human was captured during
the taking of the colony

on Chara three.

He believed his people had claim

to its resources.

But he is not Krill.

And Avis has touched us

with his divine hand.

Hail Avis.

Hail victory!

Hail Avis! Hail victory!

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen.

Emideen.

Temeen Emideen.

Temeen Emideen!

Temeen Emideen!

Temeen Emideen!

Temeen Emideen!

I enjoyed sharing
worship with you.

Perhaps I shall see you again.

Yeah, this is...
kind of a crazy week for me,

but we'llwe'll
figure something out.

Come on.

Dude, that was the sickest,
darkest thing I've ever seen.

I thought I was gonna throw up.

Let's go.

By the way, Chris and Devon?

Look, it just slipped out.
I had to think of something.

Let's just focus
on our job, okay?

That is a lot of pages, man.

Yeah, well, the
sooner we're done,

the sooner we can get
the hell out of here.

May I help you, brothers?

Sazeron.

No. We simply wished to seek
further guidance and comfort

from the Anhkana for our,

grief over the
destruction of our ship.

Wise and powerful Avis,
cover the loss of our vehicle.

And have you found
the wisdom you seek?

I think, I think we did.
Yeah, I think we did.

I think we did, yeah.
Definitely.

II know, for me, man,

whenever I'm having a
bad day, all I got to do

is cr*ck that baby open

to any page and it's just,

just like a back rub
for the brain, man.

It just hits the spot.

So, yeah. I think we're
all set here, yeah?

I think we are. I think we're
done, right? I think...

I think we'rewe're,

we're just gonna go on and,

check in with the, "Capitan."

And, thank him again
for his hospitality.

So, we'll see ya.

Bye.

These quarters
are like a dungeon.

How can they live like this?

Well, just be glad
it's not a dungeon.

The Captain trusts us for now.

God, their literature
is gruesome.

It's like a
Bret Easton Ellis novel.

How much longer?

The ship's night shift
began two hours ago,

so we should be safe.

What the hell's
the matter with you?

I was trying to tiptoe.

Don't walk so close behind me.

Sorry.

Look.

That must be Avis.

Man, he's a real d*ck, isn't he?

Let's do this fast.

My lord.

I request permission to
place a guard on the chapel.

For what reason?

I do not trust our visitors.

Chris and Devon. Why not?

I found them in the
chapel after services.

They seemed unusually
interested in the Anhkana.

Is that not a good thing?

Perhaps. But I am not convinced

their intentions were holy.

You have always had
a suspicious nature, my friend.

But then, you have
earned that right.

If it will set your mind
at ease...

This is Captain Haros.
Place a guard on the chapel.

Yes, Captain.

Thank you, my lord.

The Union anthropologists

are gonna be digging
through this for months.

Maybe years.

My comm scanner's acting funny.

I think it...

Gordon. The emitters.

Dude, you look like you.

No. No, no, no, no. Try yours.

Thank God.

What the hell went wrong?

Looks like some kind of
electromagnetic interference.

Try adjusting the
frequency on your emitter.

There we go.

Wait a minute.

Interference from what?

Whatever it is,
it's two decks below us.

Giving off a hell
of a power signature.

This is the source.

I'm reading high levels
of neutron radiation.

Well, that doesn't
look friendly.

It's not.

It's a b*mb.

We have the Anhkana, let's
just get the hell out of here.

That w*apon generates
enough neutron radiation

to wipe out billions of people.

We have to find out
what they're doing with it.

Well, how are we supposed
to do that?

This is very kind of you.

I have not shared an
evening meal in some time.

Well, you're kind of our only
friend on board this ship.

We just thought we should
get to know you better.

A wonderful idea.

Sorry it smells
like dudes in here.

Thank you, Avis, for this,

our sustenance,

that it may provide
strength and perseverance.

Would you like
to say a blessing?

W...

Um... Avis.

We try harder.

I'm sorry again
about your brother.

It is difficult.

But in his death,

I have found further
confirmation of my faith.

In what way?

The Anhkana teaches that

that which is not of
Krill is without soul.

The truth of those words
was reinforced

when the Union
k*lled my brother.

We will be carrying out
the will of Avis

when we destroy Rana three.

Yes, I've been told
of our holy mission.

The b*mb is very impressive.

Devon and I were
wondering how it works.

We've never seen
anything like it.

It is a prototype
neutron field generator.

It can destroy all life
on a continent

in a matter of minutes.

Rana three will
be the first test.

Rana three is a farming colony.

They have no defenses.

An ideal site, yes.

We got to warn the Union.

We got to take the shuttle
and get the hell out of here.

They wouldn't be able
to send help in time.

We're here. We have to
find a way to stop this.

This wasn't part
of our mission, Ed.

We were literally just sent here

to make Xeroxes. I know that!

But there are over 100,000
people in that colony.

We can't just let the Krill
m*rder them.

Well, what are we
supposed to do?

The default frequency
of our emitters

operates on a similar wavelength
as that neutron generator.

That's why we
got the interference.

So?

What if we turned it around?

Create a feedback loop,

and use our emitters
to activate the w*apon.

We could trigger an overload.

And we'd be able
to do it remotely

from the shuttle. Exactly.

We came here to try to find
a way to make peace.

And now we're talking about
k*lling everybody on board.

If you have another answer,
I'm all ears.

We'll need tools.

Chris. Devon.

Teleya. Hi.

Are you busy at the moment?

Well, we were just on our way
to get our chin horns waxed.

Would you mind taking
a few minutes

to speak with my trainees?

No. Yeah. Yeah. No, sure.

Yeah, we can take a
few minutes, yeah.

Excellent. Follow me.

Trainees, to attention.

Children,

these are the brave soldiers
I told you about,

Chris and Devon.

They are here to tell you about
their battles with the Union,

and to answer your questions.

How many humans have you k*lled?

You know, that's
a really good question.

I would have to check my notes
and get back to you.

Why doesn't the Union
believe in Avis?

Well, they worship their
own god, called Hertz.

Do humans have souls?

Of course not, Coja.

Then how can they talk?
Or make spaceships?

A computer can talk.

That does not mean
it has a soul.

Remember the Anhkana.

"Judge not a stranger
by his sheath

but by his sword."

Wouldn't you agree, Chris?

Yeah, that's what my
tramp stamp says.

You know, I just remembered,

we have some work
we have to finish up.

Is it okay if
we come back later?

Of course. That is fine.

Great. We'll see you then.

Krill or no Krill,
I'm not gonna k*ll

a bunch of kids.
Well, what about the colony?

I don't know.

But I do know that
if we destroy this ship

with those children on board,

then Teleya's right...
We have no souls.

There are kids on Rana three.

Coja.

What are you doing here?
I have more questions.

Look, this is not a good time.
You're gonna have to...

I want to know
where the humans come from.

Earth. They come
from a planet called Earth.

But, listen, Coja...

Where is it?

Well, it's...

it's really far away.

See that bright star
right there?

Right there.

Well, if you looked
to the left of it

with a really
powerful telescope,

you'd see the star at the center

of Earth's planetary system.

How come humans

don't look like Krill?

Well...

on Krill, it's really dark.

Right? And that's why we
all have very pale skin.

But on Earth, it's different
all over the planet.

In some places, where
there's a lot of sunshine,

they evolved special cells
that produce darker skin

that protects them from
ultraviolet rays, and...

Coja, I'm sorry,
but you need to go now.

But I want to know

how the humans get... Later.
We'll talk later.

Okay? Go on, go on.
Go play in traffic.

If we could access the
internal power grid,

how much do you think we could
turn up the lights on this ship?

Well, if we could
induce a power surge,

probably as much
as you want. Why?

Sunlight.

For a species

that evolved in darkness,
sunlight would be deadly.

You remember when we fought
the Krill on Epsilon 2?

They wore helmets.

We always assumed it was
a m*llitary affectation,

but it's not.

They were protecting themselves
from sunlight.

My God. They're space vampires.

Exactly!

We could amplify the UV

end of the spectrum,
they'd fry, and we'd just get

a bad sunburn.

But what about the kids?

We could blow out the lights
in the classroom.

We just have to make sure we
do it when they're all inside.

Dude...

we're vampire hunters.

Let's go.

Hey, you know what'd
look good on this wall?

A black velvet painting of Avis.

Yes. That would be good.

This is excellent.

Gordon, what's your status?

Ready when you are.

I can set the timing
of the surge on your mark.

Okay. I'm outside the classroom.
The kids are all inside.

Give us ten minutes to be safe.

Set.

As soon as the surge
is initiated,

meet me at the rendezvous point.
Mercer out.

Malloy to Mercer.

Mercer here. What is it, Gordon?

Sorry. What's the
rendezvous point again?

For God's sake, the bridge,
Gordon, we meet on the bridge.

Right, yeah. Got it.
Sorry. Brain fart.

Hello, Devon.

I hope I didn't interrupt
a private conversation.

Hey.

Chris. You've returned.

Yeah, you know,
I felt kind of bad

about leaving
so abruptly before.

Well, your timing is excellent.

I was just about to let
the class go early.

No, no! Don't do that.

What I mean is...

I want to make sure
I have time to answer

everyone's questions,
about the battle.

That is very thoughtful of you.

Hey, one of
the good ones right here.

This guy.

Perhaps you wish to explain why

you are in possession
of a Union device.

It's...

it's a toy.

A toy.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm part of this cosplay group,

and my friends always
make me play the human.

Search him.

And what is this?

That is a pepper mill.

Got it for Christmas.

Kind of a crappy gift, right?

Yeah, my family sucks.

Sound the alarm.

Find the other one immediately,
and bring this one

to the captain.

Wait a minute. Teleya,

where's Coja?

He requested a pass.

He said he wanted to
go look at the stars.

What's the matter?

Intruder alert!

Intruder alert!
Find and detain Officer Chris.

Chris, what are you doing?!

Teleya, listen to me.
I need you to keep the kids

in this room
until I get back, okay?

Why are they looking for you?
What have you done?

Just please trust me.
On your brother's honor.

Keep the kids here until
I return. Will you do that?

All right.

Good.

Where is your compatriot?

I don't know that word.

Why are you here?

What is your mission?
Look, dude,

we just came here
'cause we were trying

to find a way to make peace

with you guys.

Hey, we thought maybe if we read
the Anhkana, we could find

some common ground.

You lie.

You're after the neutron
field generator.

I mean, yes, it sort of
became about that,

but I swear to you...

Damn it!

That's a brandnew leg!

Sir.

We are entering orbit
around Rana three.

Prepare the w*apon.

We will let the human watch.

Captain, please listen to me.

There are over a hundred
thousand people down there.

They've done noth...

It is the will of Avis.

Crap!

Coja!

Chris, I think I can see Earth.

We can see Earth later.

Come on, we got
to get out of here.

Come on! Where are we going?

Come on!

The w*apon is ready
for launch, Captain.

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Fire.

Ed,

are you all right?

Yeah. I'm okay.

So are the kids.

What's going on?

Who are you?

Okay. Now, don't be mad.

Commander, there is a ship

closing on us; It is
a Krill destroyer.

Deflectors up.
Charge all weapons.

They're hailing us.

Put them on.

Kelly, it's us.

Please don't fire.

Ed?

God, am I happy to see you.

Well, the feeling's
mutual, trust me.

What happened out there?

It's... a long story.

Hey, if somebody could get ahold

of about a thousand pounds
of aloe vera,

that would be terrific.

Well, I'm happy to say
you're perfectly healthy.

There's no tissue damage
and no signs

of UV exposure.

Doctor, if you're through
with your examination,

I'll take her to the brig.

I was wondering if you'd have
the courage to face me again.

I'd like a moment alone
with her.

Captain, I think I should stay.

It's fine, Lieutenant.

Wait outside.

I'm sorry.

We had no choice.

Where are the children?

Arrangements have been made
to return them

to their families on Krill.

And what about me?

I don't know.

But I can promise you
that you won't be harmed.

You will forgive me

if I have difficulty
believing that,

from the man
who just k*lled my crew.

Our mission was
in the interest of peace.

But your crew
was going to m*rder

a hundred thousand people.

What the hell else
could I have done?

Why did you save the children?

They're kids.

With their whole lives
ahead of them.

They're not my enemies.

After what they saw
you do today...

they will be.

They will be.