06x21 - Driving Mr. Goodman

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch". Aired: September 27, 1996 – April 24, 2003.*
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Based off the comic book series, Sabrina a magical witch and her black talking cat Salem navigate the teenage years together.
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06x21 - Driving Mr. Goodman

Post by bunniefuu »

Well I'm going to the library
research renaissance poets,

but fear not my friend,
I'll be back before you know it.

Sabrina, on your way,
can you give me a ride?

Clear. You know, Miles,
I don't mind taking it

to the library or to the therapist
five times a week,

but have you ever thought about taking
a driver's license?

Did I think? Yup.

Was I a fool to act accordingly?
Not.

Years ago,
I had a traumatic accident

and I'm still healing
the emotional scars.

This is horrible.
Did you get physically hurt?

I mean, you don't need
go into details.

Fortunately I didn't suffer
no scratch.

But my tricycle is gone.

you don't drive
because of an accident

who suffered with a toy
at five?

Twelve,
and it wasn't just me.

All Goodmans are unlucky
behind the wheel.

My uncle Barney was the only one
ice cream seller

whose bell made the children
flee into the house.

Was it his uncle? I had nightmares
with this guy! Get in the car.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
S E - Driving Mr. Goodman

Translation, Review and Sync:
Michael Lemos

Hi Miles! I decided that I can't
stand idly by

and let you ruin your life

leaving your fears
control you,

so I stopped on the way home
and I bought you a little present.

A driver's manual?

Thank you, I always believed
that a passenger

is also responsible for
know the rules of the road.

Except your days
as a passenger ended.

This book has everything you need.
to get your wallet.

Start studying, will do
the written test tomorrow.

What?
This is madness!

Don't force someone to drive.
Especially a Goodman!

I already know, nobody in your family
knows how to drive.

Your father doesn't even know how to drive
suitcase with wheels.

You know, Miles, when else
make excuses,

the more you paralyzed
by your fear.

First is fear of driving,
then afraid to leave the house.

That was a one week phase
and I'm over it.

Go study and don't come back
until you can tell me

what is a red light
flashing.

That's easy.
My ambulance has arrived.

Hilda, I'm tired!

I won't waste anymore
my life waiting

men appear
at my door!

What are you going to do?
Chasing them down the street?

Use shin guards.

I'm talking about the detector.

I rearrange my schedule
for these idiots

and they don't even show up!

It's so hard to find
good employees nowadays.

Hilda, I'm warning you.

have to help me
dealing with these people.

Wake up!
I run a cafe.

And how dare you accuse me
of not helping?

Who spent Saturday afternoon
waiting for the plumber to show up?

I!

Girls I think I have
a solution to your problem.

Hire a personal assistant
to do all this for you.

Not a bad idea. where can we
find a personal assistant?

Right in front of you!

Morgan, we thank you
by the offer,

but i think i speak for both of us
When I say...

No way!

I still need to use
a cattle prod

to make you serve
a right table.

That's different! there is no challenge
to take a coffee order,

but take care of people's lives,
That's what i do!

give me the detector number
and I show you.

This is Morgan Cavanaugh,
assistant to the Spellman Sisters.

you didn't show up
Why did your truck break down?

This was good. I will review
for my boyfriend,

who works in the area
of consumer protection.

Well if that's for the best
that you can do. Goodbye.

Will be there in minutes
and they will take some bread.

Here's the key.

Ignore the cat.

I achieved!
I passed the written test

and i got it
my temporary leave.

Excellent! Now I don't need to have
take to the doctor every Wednesday.

Where is Sabrina?

I want her to give me
a driving lesson.

She went to class.
Come back in a couple of hours.

You could not,
by chance...

No!

What a shame,
because you're from new york

and everyone knows
that New Yorkers

are the best drivers.

You are an assh*le.
Continues.

Please,
I'm begging you.

help me conquer
my freedom!

It's all right,
I will teach you to drive.

there's nothing worse
to see you crawl.

What a good smell.

And the house is immaculate.
This is our home?

Welcome, girls.
I separated the correspondence,

I ordered dinner and got it
your clothes in the laundry.

But how do you know which clothes
are mine and which are Zelda's?

mine were developed
by Barnum and Bailey.

Stuffed mushroom?
Mini quiche?

Did you do all this?

Almost.
I opened the door for the banqueter.

I must say,
I'm very impressed.

Me too. who would guess
who has mini size quiches?

Hi Roxie, where have you been?

Giving a driving lesson
for Miles. he took the
license.

Great!
How was your class?

I saw all my life go by
before my eyes!

Miles, you'll never be
a good driver

unless you learn to drive
aggressively.

Screaming aggressive phrases,
as:

"Slower
and step over you."

"Get out of the way,
I'm on top of you!"

Maybe Roxie's shape
driving doesn't work for you.

maybe drive
don't serve me.

Of course it is, maybe you just need
of a less hostile teacher.

-Who's calling hostile?
-Sorry!

I meant psychotic.

Look, after a few
my lessons,

you'll take it off
your wallet easy.

Okay, just promise that
if the guard tells us to stop,

you will not curse his mother.

Who would do such a thing?

I was in a hurry!

Hey, it's not that bad.
I'm much better with you.

Excellent. now let's try
Turn on the car.

shouldn't we keep it
to the next class?

I'm still trying to understand

the fog light
and a*t*matic locks.

Once you understand,
turn that key on.

Okay, you're doing great.

Let's turn right,
turn the arrow now.

Miles, it's been a long time.
Now it's time to go.

Okay, this one is soft.
Now pull over and park.

I better tidy up the mess.

he can't drive
because it's a nervous wreck.

driving like this
your head will explode,

give him confidence
to be able to proceed.

Let's go to the highway, suddenly
made me want to go on the road.

Sabrina was right
about this driving thing.

It's no big deal.
It's easy as...

crash into a car
in front of you?

My God! Sabrina, I'm sorry.
Are you okay?

Yes I am well.
I fastened my seat belt

in that church where you almost
ran over the Monsignor.

I better go there
and see if she's okay.

Please be well.

Are you okay?

I am well.
Nothing to worry about.

I didn't want to stop
so suddenly,

but I had this puppy
crossing the street...

Don't you love puppies?

If you love, I love.

-Are you two okay?
-Yes we are well.

I was teaching
my friend Miles driving.

I'm Sabrina Spellman,
the vehicle owner.

I'm Mary Jo Ponder,
nice to meet you.

As far as I can see,
everything looks fine.

Just in case,
we must exchange information.

No problem.

No harm.
I'm really sorry, Mary Jo.

sometimes the accidents
cannot be avoided.

Here it is.
Drive carefully.

Miles, what are you doing?
in the passenger seat?

hyperventilating.

Obviously the spell
of trust is over.

Trust spell?

Yeah, it felt like magic the way
How did you get confidence?

now get there
and let's ride.

Could you please not speak
to ride?

I fell off a pony when
was six years old,

I don't go there anymore
not on carousel.

Glad I didn't know you
when I was a child.

Can not wait
to sink my ass on the couch

and enjoy
Morgan's little surprises.

It's not exactly the surprise
that I had in mind.

Morgan!
Where's our furniture?

I was going to donate them to the poor,

but then i realized that
horrible patterns

can be solved
with a reupholstery.

Had our furniture repaired
without even asking?

Why great minds be
bothered by futile decisions?

Well I wouldn't call emptying
our futile decision room.

In the future, we would like to be
informed of such decisions.

Right, Hilda?

I'm sorry, I was still
on the part of great minds.

Registered.

Now how about a nice
champagne glass?

Did you hear that Zellie?
Champagne!

Well,
I have proof to correct,

but i think a cup
of sparkling wine wouldn't hurt.

Your wish is an order.

Some Sabrina Spellman
this way?

Yes he has. Sabrina Spellman
at her service.

Just been subpoenaed.

Hey! Where you go
with my tulips?

What are you talking about
of subpoena?

subpoena for the reverse,
Sabrina Spellman.

is being processed
by the plaintiff, Mary Jo Ponder...

for causing her
extensive bodily harm!

It makes no sense!

When we left Mary Jo
Said everything was fine!

Sabrina, as someone
familiar with physical pain,

I can tell you sometimes it takes
hours to feel.

I do not believe that!
She looked so nice.

She's suing you!

It's all my fault!
It's the curse of the Goodman family.

- We weren't made to drive.
-It has nothing to do with you.

Sabrina who is
being processed!

For two million dollars,
if anyone is interested.

Ready! She's not up to standard
by Martha Stewart,

but at least we have
a place to sit.

The pouf is mine!

D
sorry for the inconvenience,
but they sent a sample

of fabric the sofa and it was
totally unacceptable.

I had everything redone.

I don't know how long
we can live like this.

Don't worry. I said
what if the furniture

don't arrive until monday,
they will regret

of the day they learned
to sew.

And the nuns of France are
sewing faster

than they can say:
"Holy Mary".

i can't think
in it now.

Tomorrow is Wayne's birthday
and I have to buy a gift.

I've already taken care of it. delivered
in person this morning

and I think it will stay
impressed

in how well I imitated
his signature on the card.

Bought birthday present
of my boyfriend

and forged my signature?

You do not have to thank me,
it's what you pay me for.

and added
a little personal note.

Morgan, you've crossed the line.

You think?

Hello?
Hi Wayne...

loved the gift
and can't wait

to try it on me?

I'm sure
that will be fun...

I think...
Bye-bye.

I said he would love to.

Just out of curiosity, what
bought for Dean Banning?

I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Don't forget to bring a hat
and an egg beater.

I even got it
this time Salem.

I ruined Mary Jo's life!

To mean,
I crippled a woman!

Please! it's the trick
oldest there is.

The woman is a cheater.

taking advantage
of the naivety of others.

So is she single?

Salem, Mary Jo was diagnosed
with multiple injuries.

And I have
a Harvard degree,

confirming that
I'm a marine biologist!

If we go to Mary Jo's house
without warning,

let's find her
dancing lambada.

I feel a sharp pain in my arms
every time i blink.

That's not a lick.

Could you do me a favor and take
my painkillers please?

Here it is.

See, Salem? You were
wrong about Mary Jo.

Please! any amateur
can put a protector

in the neck
and lie in bed,

but it takes a professional
to make her get up and walk.

Watch and learn.

Her cat scratched me, I could
have bled to death.

I will add this
to my process!

It's good that you are
feeling better. I have to go.

It saw? I told you that Mary Jo
was really hurt.

And you also told me
who barely crashed into her car.

This thing looks like it was
hit by a t*nk!

But it wasn't like that
on the day of the accident!

If you don't believe me,
ask him.

Okay, wait seated
that standing will get tired.

I make this car talk
in a second.

ok so i can't
make the car talk,

but i can get
an advice

from an expert
in Other Kingdom cars.

Click and Click!
I love these guys.

much funnier
than Frick and Frack.

Anyway, my husband will stay
with Mercedes in the divorce,


e all I'll stay
it's a used magic carpet.


Looks like you should
get is a new lawyer.


Let's go to another call.
Sabrina Spellman, you are


in the Car Talk of
Another Kingdom with Click and Clack,


the Tappet brothers.
What's up, babe?


i have a car here
who doesn't want to talk.

Be happy, friend. Have
a brother who doesn't stop talking.


Well, what kind of car
we are talking. Sabrina?


A Deville Sedan.

You look young to be
driving that bathtub.


What color is your hair?
It's not blue, is it?


What year is the car from?
Because they changed the enchantment


- of the cars of .
- It looks like a .

I think that's it,
then do the following.


Hit the hood three times
and say:


"Cars are great
because they don't have to walk,


but they are even better
when they know how to speak".


-He understood?
-Yes, I got it.

And after doing that,
walk around the car


and smell the front wheel.

Smell the wheel?
Why is that?

This is for our fun.

cars are great
because they don't have to walk,

but they are even better
when they know how to speak.

Hey, blondie.
Nice legs.

Legs? What?
Will you flirt with me now?

Tell me, after the accident
you didn't have any scratches

and now all scratched up.

I can not say.

Of course you can.
What are you afraid of?

Have you seen Mary Jo? the woman can
crush me with your hands!

That's what she did
with you?

My hood is sealed.

He knows,
for a large sedan,

you have the courage
of a golf cart.

Do you think I like living like this?

I hoped to be a classic
someday,

but that woman puts me
in an accident every week.

Seriously?

She sees some fictional animals,
she slams on the brakes, and then
The,

if I don't stay
destroyed enough,

she plays me
on a brick wall!

So she did it on purpose
to get insurance money.

where have we heard
this theory before?

Well she won't anymore
apply this blow.

I will tell the truth
to lawyers and insurance.

Great idea! And me the cat
speaker, I will be the witness.

what a proof.

The cat speaks.
How crazy.

Okay, girls.
Here are your schedules,

your lunches
and your afternoon snacks.

Why do I get an apple and she
a big piece of cheese?

Why Zelda Needs Protein
and you fiber.

man you really
think of everything, right?

I had no idea
of how liberating it would be

not make personal decisions.

Don't tell me, I don't even know how
we turned before her.

Zelda, how many times
do i have to tell you?

the scarf goes
to the left side.

Of course, of course!
My best side.

And remember, chin up,
high shoulders...

do the gentlemen
notice you.

who exactly told you
that Mary Jo is a fake?

let's just say
that it was someone close to her,

that spoke like an engine.
Finally, there has to be

a way to prove
that Mary Jo is a diaper.

I have a cousin in Jersey
that could make her talk...

this would not prove
that Mary Jo is guilty.

In my case,
it doesn't matter much.

Hello?
Who's calling?

Sedan what?

Sedan Deville? Very funny,
and I am Santa Claus.

That's disgusting.
Hello, this is Sabrina.

It's me,
I just left Mary Jo


at Silverman Academy
at Dickens.


It could be an opportunity,
if you understand me.


It can leave.

and why is this
an opportunity?

Because if you see her and she
put aside the staging...


I get her right.
Good, Sedan.

You know, American cars
really improved.

Excuse me,
I need help.

Sorry. looking for someone
called Mary Jo Ponder.

-Do you know her?
-Everyone knows Mary Jo.

She broke all records
weight lifting

in academia in recent years.
Then she had the accident.

Just look at the poor thing,
suffering there.

the process money
will help you ease the pain!

If she has so many records,
will want to defend them.

Who are you?

I'm Olga Spellmanovich,
famous weight lifter.

Now shut up, she's sucking
all the oxygen in the place.

Mary Jo, take a look, it seems
that she has a serious competitor.

Gimme a break! I would get up
this with my toe.

I mean if I were
feeling better.

Unbelievable. I never saw anyone
lift so much weight before.

Olga is nobody.
I am the best.

Please! i could get up
twice that weight.

Talking is easy!

Furthermore,
look at me,

I'm in great shape
and look at your arms.

I've seen toothpicks
with more definition.

would you k*ll to be
in the same way as me.

Please! You are just
a little woman.

I'll show you
who is the little woman.

This is amazing.

who is
in great shape now?

I would say... it's me.

Sabrina?

I've been working out, and your plan on me
process will not work,

since a room full of people
saw you lift pounds.

!

Whatever, little woman.

Hilda! Zelda! Come on!
It's time for our walk.

Sorry I'm late.

It took me a long time to do
skin cleansing

that you stuck
in my bathroom mirror.

It's so complicated.

But it's worth.

I have to say,
I am very satisfied.

You and Hilda arrived
so far.

And exactly where are we going?

Nice outfit.

My God! Morgan, are you
turning us into you.

It will still take some time,
but we are getting there.

Now who goes first?
in our race today?

Who will run is you!
You're fired!

not sure what
just passed here,

but for sure i will stay
with the hat.

So the whole process
ended up archived?

That's right.
Mary Jo was accused of fraud

and you don't need
more feel guilty

for ruining
a woman's life.

Or, as my friend Olga would say:

That weight was taken away
from your shoulders.

What a relief. now i can walk
out there guilt free.

Which reminds me, Sabrina.

I wanted to know, if not
very inconvenient...

Yes, Miles. You can take it
my borrowed car.

So how was your
first trip alone?

I never thought I'd say this,
but i love to drive!

I take it. And I owe you everything.
Thank you Sabrina.

And I never doubted you
not for a second!

It's all right,
so how was he?

that guy drives
like a maniac!

My tires are shaking,
my brakes are in shock.

Promise you'll never leave
he directed me
r again.

-What's in it for me?
-Brakes that work.

Closed!
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