01x01 - Can't Dye This

[bunniefuu]

this is it all of seventh grade the big

time time to make our mark believe the

trail and that's all I got

are you even listening No

I'm checking my first day of school

horoscope Pisces you're introverted and

quiet but this is me I can't hear you

what's it say it says I need to speak up

doesn't say anything I'm not

embarrassing your best friend cuz you

nailed it hey Franny fix your day I

better work on my smile how do I look

like you're being held hostage do you

realize my class photos look the same

since like forever I need a new look one

that reflects seventh-grade me someone

fooled fierce like a bull crust with an

eagle a beagle keep working on it and

out there yet said said tip Jack what

are you doing here you forgot your lunch

in the car I think subconsciously you

weren't ready to say goodbye

and now you're ready and find all of our

you miked dad thanks for bringing my

lunch but you gotta go I just want to

take a quick peek at my old school oh

please make it fast this has seriously

high embarrassment potential Wow it's

like being in seventh grade all over

again hey this is where my old Locker

used to be why that sucker was always

tricky to open

[Music]

what's what's up leo

wouldn't you hear about computer camp

and Lawrence had a program I also

swallow to be embattled a foot fungus

well while you spent the summer applying

ointment I learned how to skateboard I

nailed the 360 ollie heel foot is data

chip tooth

I also nailed the faceplant Julio I met

these awesome skateboard kids at the

park call themselves the dog boys

they're bad how bad how bad getting dark

outside means nothing to them who are

these people

hey I use men who can't afford it to

tape your moose check out how small it

is oh it takes ten each cell batteries

we owe these dog waste do whatever they

want skate wherever they want they're so

cool they don't even say hi

they just do this you mean like this no

like this like this no like this like

this yes really no yeah I could be a dog

boy got the moves the clothes naturally

there how they bleach mine too

right like your mom would never let you

she doesn't tell me what to do well she

does and I do it but that's because I

want and as your friend I'm gonna let

you believe that

well the embarrassment potential is

leaving love yonni

Oh get me out of here I'll be your eyes

[Music]

[Applause]

like father like daughter we don't know

a degree but he was like looking at me

things change

like father like daughter from different

returns taking of the best when you take

a mine

change the more they stay the same

the modesty the same

[Music]

okay let's buy my new look how about a

pixie cut cute juicy old me

cute the reason my dad confused me with

Gabi Kunkle huge it made the funniest

gift your dad kissing uncle and again

again and again again

let's see you with the Bob chu-young

I've got an idea what if I take the

blood bob and add some pink and some

blinds and some purple ooh I am soaked

here for that and what if I shave one

side Wow I don't want to be her friend

you are

[Music]

morning dad morning said dad remember

yesterday when you kissed Gabby consoles

in front of the entire school how could

I forget

olive keep sending me the gift again and

again and again well it made me realize

I don't want to look like every other

girl it's time for a change I need to do

something different with my hair I'm

cool with that

you're the best I came up with the most

amazing look holy schnikeys

I get it very funny now you can show me

the real one that is the real one holy

schnikeys you won't have to there's no

way I'm letting you do it

are you serious why not because you're

too young and it's too extreme it's like

a peacock got run over by a lawn mower

this is so unfair

as a woman I should have a choice over

how I want my hair to look it shouldn't

be dictated by a man I'm not a man I'm

your father

hey like a mom for once instead of dad

fair enough pretend I'm your mother okay

no yes sweetie pie how awesome is this

hairstyle I really really want to get

mine done like that okay you'll have to

ask your father

my mother would never say well this

mother would I'm an old-fashioned woman

a noodle Hema I thought you're still

sleeping why waste time doing that I

just took my first spinning class the

only problem is I can't get booty shake

out of my head and now unfortunately

neither can I

we thought you might want to take it

easy on your first day of retirement are

you kidding I plan on doing all the

things I never had a chance to ride a

camel do a mud run catch my girl Rihanna

you feel me soon you grandma your life

is kind of just beginning and mine is

over Oh what did your dad do now what

makes you think it's my fault because

your generation - the gas great but my

dad won't let me do it and now you can

see why it's beyond awesome it's sick if

it were up to me I would let you do it

but if buzzkill wants to crush your

spirits and whiz on your dreams that's

his call

pants gonna be so lame I know right now

it's it said remember I'm gonna pick you

up after school it's Taco Tuesday

oh right I don't think I'm gonna be able

to make it because I'm not talking to

you

if it were up to me I'd let you do it

where was their mom when I was a kid

what are you talking about max I was

always the fun mom it's 3:34 max where

you been

been around library library huh

let's see but no not the sniff test

grass rubber concrete you can smell

concrete I can smell your soul you've

been at the skate park haven't you I

can't help it I love it it's the first

thing I've ever been good at nonsense

you're good at a lot of things like I'm

like that's not important right now

you're gonna chip another tooth or worse

break your neck and I don't want you

ending up at a hospital having to blink

talk

I know it's not easy being a parent in

today's crazy mixed-up world but you're

doing a great job and you still manage

to look so beautiful and young people

always ask me is that your older sister

that's so sweet

what do you want I want to bleach my

hair know what why not because I said so

don't you at least want to know why

won't you okay why I want to look like a

dog boy b*at it Fido

I told him as a woman I should have

control over my hair not him

Wow you played the woman card and the

guilt card the anger card so this is so

unfair card hi empty the deck and your

dad still said no he played the to young

card he just doesn't get that I'm not a

little kid anymore the other night I

thought about shaving my legs I'm just

finding out about this now it was a

false alarm

posted it was fuzz for my leggings

I can't believe she won't let me bleach

my hair I'd run away from home if it

wasn't mac and cheese night hey knuckles

with the whoopee cushions get your head

in the game

Hey okay hi can I times for a razor

please that'll be 500 tickets

you only have 497 nice try slick close

enough little man here you go

Thanks what'd you do that my dad says

everything that has to be accounted for

this is a business it's not just fun and

games

the place is literally called just fun

and games I am aware of the irony but

those are my dad's rules I'm tired of

being told what to do all the time you

know what I'm bleaching my hair but I

thought your mom sweetie hurts what she

said I'm my own man why would half in

some countries I'd be on my second wife

it's reminder tomorrow's picture day how

does this smile look like you sat on

something weird looking like all my

others I'm not that kid anymore know

what I'm doing my hair the way I want

but your dad said you can't and you

never go against him well he's never

been this wrong besides he didn't say

couldn't do it myself

no he did not we also did say that I

couldn't have you help me are you sure

maybe you just stopped listening

[Music]

okay first we color then we cut then we

shave boy those are some scary verbs

Olive what are you doing reading the

directions you've already read them

three times in four languages niche

looking before my dad gets home what's

gonna happen when he finds out you you

know totally didn't listen to him I know

my dad once he sees my hair he's gonna

love it it's what I keep telling myself

hey I'm pretty good at this I could

literally be a hairdresser let's pretend

we're at a salon okay

got any gossip well you didn't hear it

from me but there's a girl at school

who's dyeing her hair without her dad's

permission so I've heard

boy word travels fast

hydrogen peroxide check lemon juice

check your mom's gonna k*ll you check

but by the time she finds out it'll be

too late

what could she do to me then ground you

take away your skateboard singing her

mother is gold I said she has a lot of

good choices either way where is your

mom she scares me

don't worry she's at the movies what's

it see home alone best movie ever

okay it's ready let's do it instructions

he may burn a little please afraid of

little pain on the other hand we need

[Applause]

[Music]

every one round that jet in your wall

got there probably something dumb my dad

did as a kid

boys times up can't we just see how my

hair looks we do we make a good team a

great team please put in with a

suggestion it says to remove

semi-permanent dye or shirt with baking

soda and shampoo yes what you didn't

exactly buy semi-permanent dye

please don't say about permanent okay

what else would you like to talk about

who is it it's me Dad honey I've got a

surprise for you

I've been thinking back to when I was

your age and I decided to lend you the

money to do your hair the way you want

happy yes in fact I called the salon and

they can take you right away awesome

Sydney I know you were upset with me but

the most important thing is you

respected my decision and that means

more to me than anything

now he's just being mean

[Music]

ok Sid we're here so what's with the hat

hi I'm Gia you must be sitting you must

be your dad max and just you know Sydney

could you were here however she wants

Wow got a great daughter dad this could

take like forever why don't you go to a

movie have dinner

maybe go to another movie and eat again

I don't wanna miss a second of this let

me know when a hit record how awesome is

this wig forget the hair head

I want this blue bun lose awesome brings

out my eyes let's go Sydney or pink even

better it's more V it brings out my

thumbs Sydney stop I know what you're up

to you do you're trying to save money

don't worry this is my treat you know

when I was her age I wanted to look like

a dog boy it's a long story

okay please give me some privacy

getting a new look is kind of a big deal

Jenna I need to create a bond get a vibe

going but she's right it's a girl thing

okay okay I'll leave thank you I'm gonna

miss the old look

text me when you're done yogurt place

although there is that new salad spot

Who am I kiddin I'm getting a corndog

bye honey dad she's so Sarah me say

something yo what the world will you

think you

[Music]

well the important thing is that you

love it

Sydney go to your room dad for the

millionth time I'm sorry what's the

happ's tell me the Cinch upload me it

turns out my daughter went behind my

back and did her hair the way she wanted

you mean like you did he what I wouldn't

let him bleach it so he did it himself

it was like I gave birth to a traffic

cone you made me feel like an idiot when

you did the exact same thing you're such

a hypocrite wow she's never talked to me

like that

never done anything like that what is

happening your daughters almost a

teenager no you know it's not easy being

a single parent is it Oh mom it's not I

guess that's why you were so tough on me

what I was so mean look I know it hasn't

been easy since the divorce with your

dad not being around yeah he's always

flying all over the world to exotic

places

he's an Express Delivery pilot let's not

get carried away but that means that I

get stuck being the bad guy max and

trust me I much rather be the good guy

mom I know it's not easy being a parent

in today's crazy yeah yeah I'm beautiful

I'm your sister what do you want

b*at it carrot top

[Music]

go away We Need to Talk

while I'm not listening you were

absolutely right I was being a hypocrite

I did the same thing you did right in

this room so why'd you get so mad when I

did it I was hoping we have a better

relationship than I did with my mom her

answer to everything was because I said

so

and now I've become the because I said

so guy no you're not you're not that guy

how do you know because I said so

dad you changed your mind you were gonna

let me do my hair the way I wanted so it

was kind of my fault I know that's why

you're grounded my but that's not

important right now

Sydney this isn't just about your hair

this is about you trying to find your

place in the world seventh grade could

be a scary time I'm not scared I meant

for me I gotta face the fact you're

growing up changing discovering boys not

to mention all the things going on in

your body I know it hasn't been easy

growing up without your mom but we're

gonna get through it like we always have

okay maybe maybe I'm a teeny tiny teeny

tiny there's so many kids and I don't

want to get lost

I understand and I get that you want to

change take chances but you don't have

to do it overnight so slow down baby

steps okay but they're not baby steps

they're cool adult lady steps

love you dad love you too

okay let's get going we're back at the

salon you think I'm gonna let you spend

seventh grade looking like that

seriously seriously right after I take

this

[Applause]

[Music]

grandma are you okay oh I just got back

from a game of people you lost a lot of

good men Oh baby girl it's lit but I

thought you were going for something

more extreme yeah well I decided right

now extreme might be a little too

extreme especially after hearing how my

dad's hair turned out oh you mean big

rant do I really have to be grounded yep

but you're gonna look mad sleek doing it

dad you promised you'd stay off social

media I get it later later noodle mwah

Oh remember when I used to ground you

and you try to sneak out your window and

climb down the tree but I always caught

you not always sometimes once in a while

okay every time but I'm not the same

parent you were Sydney and I have a

special bond mutual respect did you hear

something

not a thing

[Music]