11x17 - Mustard O' Mine/Shopping List

[bunniefuu]

["Drunken Sailor" plays]

* *

[bubbling]

- I got some fresh ingredients
for our new Krabby Soup.

A half-eaten Krabby Patty...

[splash]

Two moldy pickles...

[splash]

And some smashed potatoes
that look like Squidward.

[splash]

* *

- Mr. Krabs, did you get
those ingredients

from the trash?

- [gasps]

Of course not!

That wouldn't be legal.

I intercepted these items
on their way to the trash.

I want everybody in
Bikini Bottom to buy my soup.

Yuppies, guppies, puppies...

- Hippies?

- Hippies?
[growls]

- Yeah, there's a group
of hippies living out back

by the hydrothermal vent.

- Hippies?

On my property?

[grumbling]

* *

All right,
you longhairs, b*at it!

This here's private property!

- We're just keeping warm, dude.

- Yeah, baby.

We like to hang near
hydrothermal vents.

- Oof!

- We're vent creatures.

We get cold real fast.

[laughs]

- Yeah, I don't care.

You're trespassing.

And littering paisleys!

Ha-ha, back, back you go... oof!

[bell ringing]

- Hey, freaky friends,
it's warm in here.

- [grunts]

[pop]

[shattering]

And keep running, you deadbeats!

- This seems just as good
as a heat vent.

[laughs]

- Let's crash this pad.

[grunting]

[splash]

[crackling]

- That should discourage
those bohemians.

- [whistling]

- Hey, hold on there, lad.

You might be overdoing
the ingredients.

* *

[slurps]

Huh, it's just broth.

- Huh, that's funny.

It was loaded with stuff
a few minutes ago.

- Hmm, well, go ahead
and add some more.

We got customers waiting.

- Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.

[bubbling]

[humming]

[whistles]

[splash]

- [chomps]

- [humming]

- [chomps]

- Hmm, guess I bought
the disappearing

kind of potatoes.

[humming]

- [chomps]

* *

[chomping]

- Hmm?

Oh...

Oh, hungry soup, eh?

Let's see if you like onions.

* *

Today's special is
onion soup a la SpongeBob.

Oh!

All right, listen, soup.

You want me to get tough?

[grunts]

All right, I'll get tough!

I made you from scratch,
and I can unscratch you!

[cr*ck]

Whoa, whoa!

- When you're done fighting
with the food,

we have an order
for three soups.

- [chewing]

- [slurping]

Make soup, not w*r.

[splash]

- Well, I never.

* *

- Ah... Achoo!

[blows nose]

[splash]

- Mwah!

[whack]

- You obviously love your soup
more than you love me!

- Take this soup back!

- I'm returning
my husband's soup too!

- [blows a raspberry]

- [gasps]

[splash]

- What's the problem?

- There are hippies in the soup!

- Hah, hippies in the soup.

That's a new one.

[screams]

- Avast there, ye invertebrate!

You're throwing away me money.

- Anyone else down there?

- Hmm, Mr. Krabs, I think
the soup might be haunted.

- Son, did you forget
to pay your brain bill again?

* *

[splash]

- Wh... What?

both: [gasp]

hippies: Hey, hey, Mr. K,
how much money

did you make today?

[splash]

- Oh, you hippies!

[bang]

All right, you deadbeats!

This is an eviction.

You are to leave
this soup immediately.

Huh?
Whoa!

hippies: Heck no, we won't go!

all: Heck no, we won't go!
Heck no, we won't go!

- SpongeBob!

all: Heck no, we won't go!

- Sorry, Mr. Krabs,
it's just so catchy.

- [chuckles]
Why don't you just

dump the soup out?

- And lose all the money
I've already put into it?

Heck no!
They gotta go!

* *

- Whatcha using for bait?

- Something hippies love...
long hair.

- [inhales]
- Shh!

I got one!
- Ooh!

* *

- [grumbles]

Hippies can't resist
playing with this little

crochet foot bag.

[grunting]

- Neither can I!

[grunting]

- Resist the temptation, dude.

- [grunts]

- Aww, but we can't let
that little bag

hit the ground, man!

- Hah!

[splashing]

- Cool, man, you saved the sack
from gravity, like, forever.

- Beautiful, man.

[rhythmic music]

- Mr. Krabs, why are we
in a drum circle?

- It's something
that all hippies

are required to participate in.

* *

[rattling]

* *

- [laughs]
Dig that b*at.

- Oh, that is
a wild drum circle, dudes.

- [panting]
My hands are starting to hurt.

- Couldn't we have gotten
softer drums?

* *

- [exclaims]

I'm out.

Oof.

[groaning]

- Me too.

[groaning]

- Get up, you tender palms!
It's working!

[rhythmic music]

* *

[groaning]

* *

[shattering]

[screams]

Oh, my claws!

[grunts]

My claws.

I wish we had another drummer.

- I've got a drummer, Mr. Krabs.

[tapping]

hippies: [grunt]

- Oh, man!

Drum machines ain't cool.

[groaning]

[splashing]

- [yells]

- It's your job
to go into that soup

and remove those hippies.

[splash]

[suspenseful music]

- [gentle breathing]

[smooth music]

[tires screech]

[laughter]

[laughs]

Hello, I'm SpongeBob.

- Dude, it's a square.

- No, man, it's that crazy cook
that's been feeding us.

- Have some carrot
love beads, SpongeBob.

- [chomp]
Mm, thank you!

Oh, Mr. Krabs sent me here
to tell you guys

you have to leave.

- Old Man Krabs
needs to mellow out.

- Yeah, he should
try meditation.

- Ooh, like this?

- Hey, you're far out.

* *

- It's cool.
Up is down.

Down is up.
It's all relative.

Relative.

- Oh, wow, SpongeBob,
you just blew our minds.

* *

[shimmering]

* *

- Son, how's
the eviction going?

- Oh, wow, you're beautiful.

- [gasps]
You went too deep!

You've gone full flower child.

Oh, no!

* *

- What's happening, man?

- Patrick, what are you
doing here?

- Just tubing down the river
of life, baby.

[chomp]

- Does Mr. Krabs know
you're in here?

* *

- No Krabs.

[chomp]

[spits]

Can't stand those things.

- Oh, oh, suddenly everything's
becoming very confusing.

I... I... I know.

I'll have a Krabby Patty.

That always calms me down.

[panting]

Ahh!

Huh?
Huh?

Hello?

Anybody here?

Whoa, how long
was I in that soup?

Mr. Krabs, is that you?

- [inhales]

[exhales]

SpongeBob, I thought
you split the scene, hipster.

- What happened here?

- Well, I had to close down
the Krusty Krab

since you weren't around
to make the Krabby Patties.

- Close down the Krusty Krab?

- Yeah, I was just being
a capitalist tool.

But it's all groovy now.

I'm a far out hippie,

and I'm flying
my freak flag high.

* *

- [sniffs]

Making Krabby Patties
was my number one

favorite thing ever
to do in the whole world.

- Bummer, right?

Let's dance our cares away, man.

* *

- Do you think that maybe
we could reopen the Krusty Krab

and go back to how things were?

[record scratches]

- I thought you'd never ask!
- Yeah!

But Mr. Krabs, what about
our new hippie friends?

- They say they need
to be somewhere warm, right?

I have an idea.

* *

- You know what?

That Old Man Krabs wasn't
such a bad dude after all.

[gurgling]

- [laughs]
Whoa.

- Someone just crashed
our new pad.

- [moaning]

[splashing]

- Yo, bro, potato?

- Oh, thanks, man.

[chomps]

* *

[screams]

Hippies!

[light twangy music]

* *