01x01 - Start Hustling

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

-Ha! You just fell into a
classic Lex Checker trap.

-What? No I didn't.
-Yeah.

I'm gonna take this piece
and jump you here, here,

here, and here, and victory is mine.

-Guys, you have to watch
this clip of Dude Calzone!

-What are you doing?

-No time for games. Didn't you hear Munchy?

We have to watch this clip
of our favorite celebrity chef.

-I was about to win.
-We'll never know.

-Welcome back to "Dude's Foods,"

where I, Dude Calzone,

travel around the world stuffing my face for you.

Today, we're in Altoonisburg, Pennsylvania,

at the Super Coolery MicroMooery.

-He's at the Mooery.

-I've been there many times.

-What's up, dude?

Can I try one of your famous milkshakes?

-Okay. My name is Ty.

-Thanks, dude. I'm Dude.

Yum, yum, give me some.

-Whoa! Dude did his catchphrase.

-Keep watching. It gets better.

-I'm throwing my next Dude Food Festival

right here in Altoonisburg.

We're calling it The Al-Dude-Isburg Food Fest.

Bring you best recipes,

and then this dude will taste your food.

Per yoozh, the best dish
gets this golden chef's hat

and 1,000 Dude Bucks,

which are redeemable at my restaurants in Vegas

and airports around the Northeast.

-Can you believe it?

We should go down there and try to wave at him.

-Or you could sign up and win.

-I don't really have a recipe that could get a,

"Yum, yum, give me some!"

-You should enter your stew.
-Yes. It's amazing.

-I can't do that. That's a secret family recipe.

It was passed down from
my father's father's father.

He was my Great Grand-Munchy,
for whom I was named.

-But it's so good.

And you only have to share
the stew, not the recipe.

-And you'd look great in a golden chef hat.

-Well, it is one of the few
hat shapes that fits my hair.

Let's do it!

-Or should we say, "Let's stew it."

-No, we should not.

-Boop.
-Boop.

-Boop. All: Boop.

[all imitate expl*si*n]

♪ ♪

-Tell me again why we aren't making your stew

in the kitchen, like normal people.

-Well, if you want normal
stew, do it in a kitchen.

If you want Great Grand-Munchy Stew,

do it in nature's kitchen.

Okay, it's almost done.

-So when do we add all the
stuff we've been chopping?

-Oh, never.

-What?
-This is a secret recipe,

so I asked you to chop
all that stuff to distract you

so you couldn't see what I was doing.

-We've been chopping for hours.

-I cut myself multiple times.

-Well, I guess I can let you
in on the secret ingredient--

If you make a pretzel
promise to never tell anyone.

-A pretzel promise?

-Whoa, this is serious.

-I pretzel promise.

-I will now reveal the secret ingredient.

-The secret ingredient is barbecue tongs?

-No.

Ajude-nos e torne-se membro VIP
para remover todos os anúncios do % url%

Both: Ooh!

-You are right to ooh.

This is a lava pepper, the
hottest pepper on Earth.

It only grows in active volcanoes.

-You want us to chop that up?
-You want to die?

-I do not.

-If you were to chop it up and put it in,

one bite would destroy your
mouth and melt your soul.

-So what do you do with it?

-You dip it in the stew for 2 Pennsylvanias.

One Pennsylvania. Two Pennsylvania.

Okay, have a taste.

Both: Yum, yum, give me some!

-Glad you guys like it.

It's gotta simmer for about 2 hours,

which is 7,200 Pennsylvanias.

Let's start counting.

-One Pennsylvania, two Pennsylvania,

three Pennsylvania,

four Pennsylvania, five Pennsylvania,

six Pennsylvania, seven Pennsylvania.

-What are you looking at?

Is that skunk back?

I told you to stop feeding it.

-I'm looking at stew.

Munch is cooking it out there

with Presley and Lex,
and they won't let me near it

because of the "secret ingredients."

-I didn't know Lex was into cooking.

Maybe I should learn to cook.

-I hear what you're asking. The answer is yes.

-The answer to what is yes?

-I'm gonna teach my boy how to cook.

We'll start with Alan Casserole.

It's a casserole made by me, Alan.

-Okay. Well, maybe if I learn,

I can impress Lex. I mean, how hard can it be?

Cooking is just science you can eat.

-Cooking isn't science. It's an art.

That's why I sing while I cook.

♪ Gotta cook with my son
and have some casserole fun ♪

♪ Because cooking with your dad is number one ♪

-Dad, cooking is a science,

and when it comes to science, I'm the best.

-Did you just challenge me to a casserole-off?

-If I did, I didn't mean to.

-Well, too bad, because I don't back down

from a casserole challenge.

We'll both make one and see whose is tastier.

-Hmm, doesn't seem fair,

because you're gonna lose so hard!

-We'll see. Now, if you'll excuse me...

♪ I'm gonna make casserole
and cook the best one ♪

♪ Now Fisher's gonna sing the next verse ♪

-No.

♪ ♪

-Ooh, great job with the sign, guys.

My Great Grand-Munchy would approve,

and he hated pretty much everything.

-Ooh, our first customer.
-I'm not a customer.

I'm Sue, Dude Calzone's sister and legal counsel.

You need to sign these.

-What are they?
-Standard release forms.

Dude can't sample your food unless you sign it.

-Shouldn't he read these before he signs?

-And done.

-I'll take that, and here he comes.

-What's up, Al-Dude-Isburg?

[cheers and applause]

-It's him!

-My dudes, what's the hey-hey?

-Dude, we are such huge fans.

-You changed the way I see waffles.

-I have read all of your cookbooks.

And by that, I mean I looked at the pictures.

-Thanks! Whoa! What you got cooking?

Because it is delighting my sniffer.

-This is my Great Grand-Munchy's Stew.

-Yum, yum, give me some!

-Yes!

-You could be wearing
this golden chef's hat, dude.

-That's my dream, Dude. Both: Dude.

-This is amazing.

Tell me the recipe.

-Oh, I can't do that.

See, this recipe is a family secret.

You understand, right?

-I understand.

But the contract you signed

gives Dude Enterprises Incorporated

ownership of your recipe

and the right to put it
into Dude's next cookbook.

-You can't put Great Grand-Munchy's Secret Stew

into Dude's cookbook!

"Secret" is in the name.

-We can, and we'll rename it

"Dude's Stew."

-Well, guess what.

We're not giving you that recipe, Sue.

-Well, guess what.

If you don't give us the
recipe, per the contract,

you have to pay us $1 million.

All: Dude.

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off, gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go up in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪

-This is horrible!

I can't give away my Great
Grand-Munchy's secret recipe!

I mean, I should have read that contract

before I signed it, but it was for Dude Calzone!

If you can't trust him, who can you trust?

-Okay. I'm just gonna take
this spoon away from you,

because you're kind of scaring us.

-It's gonna be okay.
-You're right. I'm calm now.

-Good.

Now we can get upset.

I am so mad at Dude Calzone.

-I am so mad at us.

We're the ones who told you to enter the stew.

-Hey! I see Dude Calzone inside.

Let's go make him cry.

-Oh.
-Hey, Dude.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

-Yeah, Dude.
-Such a stupid name.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude senses bad vibes.

-I didn't know the contract I
signed gave you ownership

of my secret family recipe.
-Yeah.

What give you the right
to rip people off like this?

-You should be ashamed of yourself, Dude.

-I am.

[sobbing]

-I wanted to make him
cry, but now that we're here,

it's really awkward.

-I'm sorry!

I don't mean to hurt people
and steal their recipes.

-Then why are you doing it?
-I'm not.

It's my sister, Sue. Here's the sitch.

She made me sign a contract.

If I don't do what she says,

I have to pay her a million buckaroos.

-So this whole idea

to steal people's recipes is your sister's?

-Exactamundo.

It's so we can make cookbooks

with other people's recipes and say they're mine.

-Wait. So all those recipes
in your cookbooks are--

-Stolen!

-Even Dude's Righteous Chicken Parm?

-Yes.

I took that from a garbanzo bean farmer in Erie.

[both gasping]

-What are you guys talking about?

-Yum, yum, give me some!

Great meeting my fans!

Here's your autograph!

See y'all on the flippy-flop.

-Unfriendly reminder.

You have 23 hours and 57 minutes

to give me that recipe or $1 million.

And $10 for Dude's
headshot. Isn't that right, Dude?

-Whatever you say, sis.

[mouths word]

-I'll add it to your tab.

-Oh, thank you.
-Don't thank her.

♪ ♪

-Okay. Exactly 17 drops.

-What's cooking, good looking?

-Dad, you almost made me put in an 18th drop.

-Oh, sorry.

[whispering] What's cooking, good looking?

-I'm improving your casserole recipe with science

by replacing natural ingredients with flavors

I've synthesized with chemicals.

-While you're using big words,

I'll be adding a surprise
ingredient to my casserole.

-What's the surprise ingredient?

-Let's find out.

-Wait. You just cover your
eyes and pick something?

-That's right.

Got it!
-Dad.

Dad, you just grabbed a
box-- -Nope, don't tell me.

It's a surprise.

♪ ♪

-Can't. Give out. Recipe.

-Munchtopher?

Munchtopher?

Munchtopher, get out of bed!

-Aah!

Great Grand-Munchy? What are you doing here?

-You tell me.

Last thing I knew, I was hanging with Elvis.

-I think I know why you're here.

You're haunting me because I'm gonna give away

your stew recipe

to a celebrity chef named
Dude and his sister, Sue.

-Hmm. Doesn't surprise me.

People have been trying to take our stew recipe

since the Vikings.

-The Vikings? How old are you?

-Pipe down and listen!

Our family always fights back,

and that's what you're gonna do, fight.

-But they said if I don't give it to them,

I owe them $1 million.

-The Vikings said the same thing,

only it wasn't dollars, it was beaver pelts.

You know what I did?

-You fought?
-No, I fought!

-But that's what I said.

-But I said it louder.

-You know, you kind of
remind me of my brother, Jaget.

-False!

But speaking of Jaget,

I'm gonna go haunt him,
hit him with my ghost cane.

-Ahh!

Stop hitting me with your ghost cane, ghost man!

♪ ♪

-Last night, I was visited

by the ghost of my Great Grand-Munchy.

He told me we can't give up his stew recipe.

-Oh, no!

We made a ghost mad?

-So what do we do?

-Fight fire with fire.

-Are you sure we have to wear these suits?

-You want to die?
-Still no.

-We're gonna get Sue to eat this lava pepper

to teach her a lesson about stealing

secret family recipes.

Gas masks on.

-Why is the pot shaking?
-And smoking?

-That means it's working.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

-Is it ready?
-It's ready.

-Here's the milk you wanted.
What do you need it for?

-Oh, we're gonna give a mean woman a taste

of something so hot, it will destroy her.

We need the milk to counteract the effects.

-Milk. What can't you do?

-Hey, Dude's coming.

-Dude.
-Dude?

-Dude.
-Dude.

-What just happened?

-Oh, I told Dude we had
a plan to save the recipe.

Dude said, "Good luck."

-I gotta learn how to speak Dude.

-I don't see $1 million,

so I assume you're going
to give me your stew recipe?

-Actually, we changed the recipe.

-See? New and improved.

-We think it's even better.

You should give it a taste and see for yourself.

-Yes. You're gonna love it.

-Here is a fresh spoon.

-Yum, yum, try some.

-Why are you suddenly acting nice?

-We're just really excited for you

to try this new recipe.

-Just taste it already.
-Okay, I'll taste it.

Right after you taste it first.

♪ ♪

-Still working on your casserole?

I finished mine. Had time for a bubble bath.

-Well, you're gonna need another one

to wash off the smell of defeat.

-How's your science casserole?

-Mathematically perfect.

I'm so winning this casserole-off.

And done.

-Good, because our judge
should be here any second.

-False!

You're judge is here now.

Food court is now in session.

-I've carefully extricated
all parts of my casserole

so every serving will maximize

the ingredient-to-tastebud ratio.

-I sprinkled crushed-up potato chips on mine.

-Mmm.

[gargles]

Okay. Nice job, science kid's dad.

-Wait till you taste mine.
-I don't have to wait.

I'm the judge.

[gargling]

-So?

-That's horrible, science kid's dad's kid.

The guy that smells like bubble bath wins.

-What?
-Yes!

I told you so. I told you so.

-Food court adjourned.

I'm taking this as evidence.

-I don't believe this. Let me try yours.

Whoa, mama!

This is unbelievable! How is that possible?

-I told you.

Cooking is an art, not a science.

But I'm happy to teach you.

-Okay. But do I have to sing while I do it?

-I think we both know the answer to that.

Five, six, seven, eight.

-♪ I'm singing while I'm making food ♪

♪ With my dear old dad ♪

♪ I really thought I'd hate it
but it's actually not too bad ♪

-♪ Now we're cooking, yeah, we're cooking ♪

♪ Now we're cooking like a father and son do ♪

both: ♪ Do do do do do do do do do do do do ♪

♪ And a do do do do do do do do do ♪

♪ ♪

-I'm still waiting for someone

to try this new and improved stew.

Unless there's a reason not to eat it?

-Fine. I'll do it.

-You can't do that,

because you're full from lunch.

Remember?

-I do remember, but
someone has to, so I'm doing it.

-If you're gonna try it, I'm gonna try it too,

because friends don't let friends eat stew alone.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

-For Munchy.
-For Munchy.

-You know, it's not so--

-What's wrong with you?

-Nothing is wrong.

I'm dancing because it's so good.

-I can't wait to have more.

-It really is new and improved.

I'm gonna stomp in gratitude.

-You gotta try it.

-I guess I was wrong.

I'll have some.

So where did you say your
Great Grand-Munchy was from?

-Oh, he moved around a
lot, so it's kind of a long story.

-Munchy!

-That I will tell some other time.

Now, please enjoy.

-Wow. I didn't think it could get any better,

but I gotta say--

Mouth on fire.

-Ah, milk, bringing life back to body.

-Tongue less ow.

-What did you do to me?

-You just ate my Great
Grand-Munchy's Revenge Stew.

-My soul is melting!

-Do you know what provides
instant relief for that? Milk.

-Yeah. It worked right away.
-Give it to me!

-Oh, we'll give you the milk.

Right after you agree not
to take Munchy's recipe.

-Forget it! Someone give me milk.

Dude, I know you'll help me! You're my brother.

-I'll give you the milk.

But first, rip up these contracts so Munchy

and all these other dudes get their recipes back.

Oh, and my contract's in there too.

-Not a chance!
-All right.

Consider this milk outie 5,000.

-Fine, you win!
-Great! Get ripping.

[cheers and applause]

-We did it!

-You betcha!

Not only is your stew amazing,

but you just gave everyone back their recipes

and me back my life.

Munchy, you earned this.

-The golden chef's hat? Dude.

-Dude.

-This is for you, Great Grand-Munchy.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-Great Grand-Munchy out.

-Thank you. Thank you very much.