-Why did we agree
to be paintball testers?
-I thought we'd be
sh**ting the paintballs.
I didn't know
we'd be the targets.
-That was the worst
KidDING job ever.
-That was the best
KidDING job every.
-You liked that?
-Look at us.
We've been transformed
into walking pieces of art.
I have the perfect name
for this masterpiece:
the "Mona-Munchy."
-Well, at least
when that paintball knocked me
into a pond,
I got a selfie with a duck.
This is perfect for
my animal selfie collection.
I already have me with
a bobcat, a weasel, a tortoise,
and a hare, a kangaroo,
and a meercat.
I would've gotten one
with that octopus,
but he had an attitude.
[phone chimes]
-Hey, the payment
from the paintball job
just went through.
all: Boop, boop, boop!
Bew! Boom!
-We have enough
to pay back Tedward,
plus a little extra.
What should we spend it on?
-Ooh, let's get paid
to get hit by more paintballs.
-No, wait, I have
a better idea.
Where can we go
that has milkshakes,
types of cheese,
and a live cow?
-I know what
you're gonna say,
and I love it.
-Let's go to the MicroMooery.
-That's what I thought you
were going to say,
and I love it.
-Oh, I love this place.
And I love you, Cash the Cow.
-Cash the Cow
is an animal.
You can get a selfie with her
and add it to your collection.
-I can't.
There's a sign that says
"No Selfies With The Cow."
-So?
-Signs are basically laws
that are taped to a wall.
-Welcome back to
the MicroMooery.
all: Spenders!
-How's our favorite
"moo-rista"?
-The milkshakes are cold,
the cheese is old,
and my suspenders can do this.
-I only thought
they held up your pants.
So cool.
-What can I get you?
We have every dairy product
you can imagine.
Milkshakes, butter, yogurt--
who am I kidding, you guys
are gonna get milkshakes.
all: Yes please.
-Good choice.
-Hey, Spenders,
what's up with your
no-cow-selfie policy?
-Well, it turns out
Cash is camera shy.
Every time she sees a camera,
we can't get milk
out of her for days.
So we banned selfies.
There are no exceptions.
all: Aww.
-Except one exception.
all: Ahhh.
The annual Milkshake Suckdown
competition is coming up,
and the winner gets a selfie
with Cash the Cow.
[cow moos]
She said she's happy
to pose with the champion.
[cow moos]
Right,
but she says no posting
on social media.
-It's a milkshake
drinking contest?
I could win that.
I have eight siblings.
If you don't eat fast
at my house, you don't eat.
-I'm not here,
I'm not here, I'm not here,
I'm not here,
I'm not here.
[electric guitar riff]
-That was weird.
-If I know Jaget,
and I do
because he's my brother,
it's about to get even weirder.
-Say it, Spenders.
-I don't want to.
-Do it, milkman.
-Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing your raining
MicroMooery's Milkshake
Suckdown champion --
-Like you mean it.
-The Master of Milk,
the King of Calcium,
the Big Bad Dairy Daddy,
put your hands
together for Jaget!
[AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"]
♪ ♪
[music stops]
-Whoo-hoo!
What? The dude knows
how to make an entrance.
-Set me up, Spenders.
As Suckdown champion, I get
free milkshakes for a year.
Mmm, I can taste the free.
Speaking of free,
you brats can feel free
to give me the payment
for my daddy.
-No problem.
We just finished a job,
so here's your money.
-I'll take that,
and that is for the late fee.
-We weren't late paying you.
You were late collecting.
-I know,
but somebody was still late.
-Now we don't have
enough left to buy milkshakes.
-Hey, Spenders, what can I get
for half a dollar?
And by that, I mean a dollar
that's ripped in half.
-I suppose
you could buy the muck shake.
[grunts]
-What's the muck shake?
-It's a bucket
where we put all the leftovers.
You know, ice cream,
yogurt, butter --
I guess you could
call it pre-garbage.
-Why don't you
just throw it away?
-We tried.
It keeps coming back.
-I'm taking you
down, Jaget.
-Oh, here we go.
Back for more, Chump?
-My name's not Chump,
it's Stump.
And I'm ready to take that belt
from you at the Suckdown.
-Are you? Go.
[both slurping]
[groans]
-No man can chug that fast.
-I'm no man.
I'm Jaget.
-No fair!
This didn't count.
I'll see you at the Suckdown.
-Where is the applause?
Are you not entertained?
-You know what?
It's time
someone takes you down,
and that someone
is three someones, which is us:
me, Lex, and Munchy.
We're the someones who's going
to do something about you.
Will somebody please stop me?
-I will.
We're entering the contest.
-Yeah!
-Is that right, Munchy?
You think you can take down
your big bro?
I like your misguided
confidence.
Here, you can have
my milkshake.
-This is empty.
-Then I guess you won't mind
if I do this.
-[gasps]
-Jaget out.
-Whoo! What?
Dude knows how to make an exit.
[upbeat music]
-Yes, Jaget,
I know you're the best.
I'm sorry for almost
standing up to you.
Okay. See you at dinner.
-You know you can
b*at him at this contest.
-No, I can't.
You don't understand.
There's only one thing
I can do:
hide behind a pillow where
no one can find me.
-Hey, Lex.
Hey, pillow-Munchy.
-Dang it.
-Who wants nachos?
-Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
-We can't go up against my
brother at this contest.
He's the best milkshake drinker
in the world.
Nobody sucks like him.
-Well, nobody eats like Lex.
Having to compete
with four brothers
and four sisters for food
has made her an eating machine.
I mean...
-What?
-You guys don't get it.
Jaget has a secret w*apon
that makes him unbeatable.
-A complete lack
of self-awareness?
-No.
He can't get brain freeze.
-[gasps]
-That's impossible.
Even Zendaya gets brain freeze.
-I'm telling you,
I've been trying to eat
frozen stuff
faster than him my whole life.
I always lose.
From popsicles to ice cream
to even a bag of frozen corn.
He hates corn.
His complete lack of
brain freeze makes him
impossible to b*at.
I wish I could b*at him,
just once.
-Well, get me a pair
of puffy pants,
call me a genie,
'cause I'm about to make
your wish come true.
-Presley, we don't have
any puffy pants.
-I was being metaphorical,
which is a word
I think I used correctly.
-You did!
Anything is possible!
Munchy, let's do this.
-Yeah!
all: Boop, boop, boop!
Bew! Boom!
-♪ I got you,
got me, we got this ♪
♪ I like the odds
when we're side-by-side ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ And when things go off
friends are on it ♪
♪ 'Cause I got you, got me,
we got this ♪
[crowd cheering]
-This is from
last year's Suckdown.
-He just drank
five gallons of milkshake
like it was nothing.
-I told you
he can't get brain freeze.
This is why I've never been
able to b*at him
at the very specific sport
of eating cold things.
-So what do we do?
-The only thing
we can do--
lose and let him
make us eat grass.
-Jaget makes
you eat grass?
-No.
He threatens to sometimes,
but I just bend over
and make chewing sounds.
-We are going to
stand up to him.
We're gonna take him down.
Lex, you are
the fastest eater I know.
-Speaking of, do you have
any more nachos?
-No!
Munchy, you're finally gonna
b*at your brother
and make him eat grass.
-Why does anybody need
to eat grass?
-I'm trying to motivate
the two of you it,
and you keep interrupting.
-You know what?
I'm on board.
Maybe I'll finally be able
to be my brother
at eating cold things.
Then I can move on
to warm things.
-That's the spirit, Munchy.
-I have a plan.
I'm gonna be in charge
of playing mind games on Jaget.
You two are going to be
in charge of winning
the competition.
And I know the perfect person
to help me help you
win this competition.
He's hiding behind the shelves,
looking at Lex.
-'Sup.
Are you talking about me?
-I'm glad you're here,
little bro.
We need your help.
-To take Lex
to Europe?
No problem. I have passports
for both of us.
-No.
To fix brain freeze.
-Not as exciting as Europe,
but sure, I can do that.
-Wait, how do you have
a passport for me?
-I'll tell you
on the flight over.
-So, how is Lex and I
switching brains
gonna help us b*at my brother?
-For the last time,
you're not switching brains.
This machine simulates
brain freeze
so you can build up
a tolerance,
and drink milkshakes
pain-free.
That way,
you can win the competition.
-Is that really
gonna work?
-Allow me
to demonstrate on Munchy.
-Ooh, I like
the sound of that.
[electronic warbling]
-Munchy is experiencing level
one brain freeze.
It's like eating
four ice cubes.
-Whoa, get that ice
out of my mouth.
-Level two
is like putting your underwear
on your head
after it's been in the freezer.
-When did I put
frozen underwear on my head?
-And level three
is like someone shoved
Alaska in your nose.
-I smell moose!
-Whoa, that's impressive.
-You think so?
It's based on --
-No, turn it off!
The mooses,
they're eating my brain!
[yelps]
-♪ Milkshake, milkshake ♪
♪ You're so good ♪
♪ Tastes fantastic,
like I knew you would ♪
-You writing a song
about me?
Because you can rhyme Jaget
with awesome;
it just takes a little bit
of work.
-No.
I'm training for the Suckdown.
-You're not going to win.
-I know.
I'm only entering
so I can drink a free milkshake
during the competition.
But Lex and your brother
are training,
and they're gonna
take you down.
-[chortling]
That's the dumbest thing
I've heard
since I heard
your dumb baby guitar.
-Ukulele.
-You're the "kulele."
-You're gonna lose.
They're in the basement
right now,
using science to end
your reign of terror.
-What are you doing
out here then?
-We knew you might
come here to mess with us,
so I volunteered to wait out
here and get in your head.
-You can't get in my head.
-I'm already
in your head.
-No, you're not; you're
outside my head for sure.
-You want to know
what's going on down in
the basement, don't you?
-Not at all. In fact,
I'm going back to my house.
I'm not here, I'm not here
I'm not here,
I'm not here, I'm not here!
[both slurping]
-Whoa, Munchy, you are
a milkshake chugging machine.
-[gasps] Done.
- minutes
and seconds.
You just broke Jaget's record!
-Munch Man,
that was amazing.
-What's amazing?
Only I'm amazing.
-Munchy's milkshake time.
-No way.
minutes, seconds?
-That time
can't be real.
-The times are real,
and you're gonna find out
yourself tomorrow
at the Suckdown.
-Is that right, Munchy?
You think you can finally b*at
the Big Bad Dairy Daddy?
-Heck yeah I do.
I think.
Maybe? Unlikely.
No, don't make me eat grass!
-This is my belt,
and no one is taking my belt.
Besides,
it's holding up my pants.
-Then you should probably get
some tighter pants
because we're
winning that belt.
-Let me
ask you a question.
Since you are so confident
you're gonna win this thing,
how about a side wager?
-Let me ask you
a question.
What's a side wager?
-It's like a bet.
Whoever loses the competition
has to drink the muck shake.
-Wait, isn't
the muck shake
that leftover slop
in a bucket?
I don't want to drink that.
-Deal. You messed up.
Jaget out!
-All right,
today is the bid day,
Suckdown Saturday.
If we don't come back
with that belt,
we don't come back at all.
both: Yeah!
-But just to be clear,
we do have to come back
because I have a dog to feed.
-Munch, how you feeling?
-Feeling great.
I feel like today's finally
the day I b*at my big brother.
I did some extra training
last night
and slept next
to an open refrigerator.
-That's my Munchy.
Everybody in.
all: Boop, boop, boop, bew!
Milkshakes!
[phone chimes]
-Huh, that's weird.
I'll see you guys
at the Mooery.
-Don't you worry.
The Bid Bad Dairy Daddy
is not gonna let them
take you away.
-Um, are you okay?
-Mind your own business.
-You just texted,
"Come outside and see me."
-Because I wanted
to make you understand.
To you, this is just
some random competition,
but to me this is all I got.
-Hey, that's not true.
What about your Cool Guys
Who Do Magic club?
-There's no club.
It's just me shuffling cards,
saying ta-da.
-But what
about your pen pal, Hans?
-There's no Hans.
I made him up.
-What?
He writes you every week.
-I write those letters.
You know how much work it is
writing a letter
and mailing it to yourself?
-No.
-Well I do.
It's time-consuming.
I got nothing and nobody,
except this belt.
If you'll excuse us,
I don't know how much time
we have left together.
[melancholy music]
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
-All right.
It's Suckdown time.
Lex, either you or Munchy
are gonna win this thing.
-It's gonna be Lex.
Look,
I think you're number one.
-Whoever wins, the most
important thing is Jaget loses.
-I am so winning this year.
-Aren't you the one
who whined
"no fair" and then ran away?
-No.
That was someone else.
A lot
of people look like me, okay?
[cowbell clanking]
-Ladies and gentlemen,
cows and calves,
welcome to the MicroMooery's
annual Milkshake Suckdown.
[cheers and applause]
You all know the rules.
-I don't.
-Well, since one of the rules
is that everyone must know
the rules, here they are.
The first person
to finish their milkshake wins.
But if you get off your stool
for any reason,
you're disqualified.
Can we start now?
-Sorry, I got a text
while you were talking.
Can you start over?
-Great question,
and no.
Three, two, one, suck!
-You got this, Lex.
We're all behind you.
-Ow! Brain freeze!
-Lex, no!
-You're out.
-I don't understand,
how can I have brain freeze
after your intense training?
-Confession time.
I never made my machine
give you brain freeze.
I couldn't stand
to see you in pain.
-But I drank
all of those cold milkshakes.
-More confession time.
I actually gave you brain warm,
which is like
I was giving your brain a hug,
which I offer to you now.
-Fine, but just hug my head.
[cheers and applause]
-How's it going, buddy?
-I know what you're doing.
You're trying to act all casual
to intimidate me.
Classic tortoise and hare.
Well here's how this
story ends--I eat 'em both!
[groans]
Ah! Brain freeze.
-You're out!
-No fair.
-We are down
to the last three competitors,
two of whom I'm rooting for,
but I won't say which.
-I think Munchy
is gonna win.
-Go Munch--
ow, my head still hurts.
-Munch, you're almost there.
Now, finish him!
-[whimpering]
-Jaget, are you crying?
-To you, this is
some random competition,
but to me, this is all I got.
[melancholy music]
I got nothing and nobody,
except my belt.
There is no Hans.
I made him up.
-I want you to
win this, big bro.
[crowd gasps]
-Munchy, no! Ow.
-What are you doing?
You were finally about
to b*at your brother.
-You gave up just
so I can win?
-Yeah.
I love you, man.
-Munchy.
My brother, I want you to know
that is so...
stupid!
-What?
-All I had to do was
make up some poor sob story,
and now you kids are gonna be
sucking on a muck shake.
-You made it all up?
-Sure did, little brother.
It was fun.
-Not cool, Jaget.
Not cool at all.
-So, your pen pal
Hans is real?
-Why don't you ask him
yourself?
He came all the way
from Norway.
-You're super-duper, Jaget.
-Looks like Jaget's gonna
win again.
-Presley wants us
to distract Jaget
so she can win
the competition.
-You got that
from her doing this.
-We've been besties
a long time.
-L How is she not
getting brain freeze?
-She's getting it.
She's getting it bad.
-She's fighting
through for us.
-Classic tortoise and hare.
Stump approves.
-Now I'm gonna finish this
and reclaim my belt.
Enjoy the muck shake, losers.
-On it.
-Man, it feels good
to be a part of a team.
-Wait, Jaget,
before you win the competition,
can you tell everyone here
how you got so awesome?
-Well, I should probably win
the competition first,
but since I can't lose,
I'm happy to educate everybody
in the ways I'm awesome.
-Way number one:
I don't let birds
push me around.
Way number two--
Way number :
I never let different foods
touch when they're on my plate.
Way number --
-[gasps] I'm done!
-We have a winner.
-What?!
Thanks for taking
so long to list
all the ways you're
awesome, Jaget.
-No! You tricked me!
I would never do that
to anybody.
Jaget out!
-Not so fast.
I'm gonna need that belt.
[laughter]
And the winner of this year's
Suckdown is Presley!
[cheers and applause]
-You must have the worst case
of brain freeze of all time.
-No, it's not too--
-Her brain just needs
a little time to thaw.
-Well, Jaget,
since you lost,
you have to drink
the muck shake.
-No problem.
[gags]
Why is it hot?
-Here, Munchy,
I want you to have this.
-Thank you so much.
But I was really hoping
to b*at my big bro.
-For the record, today
you didn't lose to him;
you lost to me.
And isn't that basically
the same thing as winning?
-I'm not sure--but that does
make me feel better.
And so does that.
-[retching]
-Jaget, are you okay?
-Don't look at me, Hans.
-But I came from Norway.
-Go on, get!
-Lex, I'm gonna let you
take my selfie
with Cash the Cow.
-For real?
-Of course,
you're my bestie.
And no one else I know wants
a picture with a cow.
-We'll see about that.
[upbeat music]
01x06 - Milkshake Suckdown
Watch/Buy Amazon
After accidentally setting their principal's boat on fire, best friends Lex, Presley, and Munchy create an app to get jobs to pay off their debt.
After accidentally setting their principal's boat on fire, best friends Lex, Presley, and Munchy create an app to get jobs to pay off their debt.