01x12 - Dog Wed-DING!

[bunniefuu]

-Reggie,
I have a surprise for you.

A top hat for a top dog.

[crowd clamoring]

Finally, what took you so long?

-I had to get past
all of your siblings.

I was kicked and licked.

-Sorry, but this is an
emergency photo sh**t.

-Aw, a top hat for a top dog.

-Right?
He needs it because

Reggie is getting
pretend married.

-I didn't even know he was
pretend engaged.

-Let me introduce you
to his lucky bride.

Her name is Taffeta,
and they are going

to live happily ever after

in a castle
made from dog biscuits.

I mean, it's not practical,

but they'll make it work.

[crowd clamoring]

-Munchy is here, my children.

-Why are you dressed like that

and referring to us
as your children?

-I can explain.

You know my two favorite
Internet dogs,

Lulu and Poochie-Boy?
-Oh, yeah.

You might have mentioned them
one or , times.

-Well,
they're getting married.

-Wow, that is literally
your dream come true.

-I also have
another dream

which involves
you, me, and Munchy.

-Yes, I'm involved.

-We get hired
to plan the wedding.

-That combines
everything I love--

getting paid and money.

I can finally
realize my dream--

building a burrito large enough
to sleep in.

-I follow
Lulu and Poochie-Boy's owners,

Mark and Christine.

If I tag them in enough pics

of this pretend dog wedding

and talk up
our wedding planning skills,

they might hire us.

-Looks like we're taking
some photos.

Munchy, get into position.

Reggie and Taffeta,
it's showtime.

-Now, act like
you just found a bone.

Not you, Munchy.
The dogs.

-Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ ♪

-Presley, these photos
that you took are amazing.

Now, I have posted and tagged
Mark and Christine

in all of 'em.

Hope that's enough.

-Oh, I like this one of Reggie
and Taffeta's first kiss.

-Let me see.

[phone chimes]
[gasps]

-What? Did Mark and Christine
like the photo?

-No, someone named
Jamie Lee Curtis did.

-Three names?

Leave some
for the rest of us, lady.

[phone chimes]
-Wha--look!

Mark and Christine
did message you.

[both squeal]

-It's them!

"Please stop
tagging us in photos."

-Oh.
-Aww.

-"Because we wanna
interview you about

planning Lulu and Poochie-Boy's
wedding."

-Yes!
-We have to convince them

that we are
the perfect team for the job.

-We are the perfect team.

And we're gonna charge them
so much,

we'll be able
to make the boat payment,

plus have enough left over
for my sleep-urrito,

the burrito you can sleep in.

♪ ♪

-Okay, we need
to look professional

for our interview
with Mark and Christine.

And nothing looks
more professional

than a three-ring binder.

[click]

Love that sound.

-I had the same thought
about looking professional,

and that's why I got these.

-You don't wear glasses.

-I don't,
but professional Presley does.

Plus they let me do this--

Hmm, interesting.

-Oh, so professional.

-Munchy, did you ever
get your license

to perform the dog wedding?

-I filled out a form online,

they said they'd
get back to me soon.

So I'm guessing
they'll get back to me soon.

-Daddy!

Can you make me a waffle?

-Morning, Fisher.

-Ahh!

You didn't tell me
Lex was here!

-I know.

-Nice jammies.

-[screams]

-Okay.
Let's head to the Mooery.

-Who are you?

-I am Bardo.

-What are you doing
on my driveway, Bardo?

I'm looking for Munchtopher,
son of Tedward.

-[gasps]
Is this about my application

to perform dog weddings?

-'Tis.

I am the Bishop
of the Arch-Dogocese.

-So you're here
to give me my license?

-No one just gives you
a license to marry dogs.

You must earn it.

-How exactly do I do that?

-Your soul will be tested,

your spirit
pushed to the limits, your--

-Sounds like you're gonna
be here for a while,

so we'll catch up
with you later.

-Now, where was I?
-My spirit

will be pushed to the limits.
-Oh, right.

Your spirit
will be pushed to the limits.

Get ready.
It's Bardo time.

♪ ♪

-Presley, did you just
cut off the legs of my chair

with a hacksaw?

-That's right.

-Follow up question.
-Oh, what is it?

-Why'd you do that?

-We have a very important
meeting with some clients.

Isn't that right, Reggie?

-See, Spenders, by making
their chair shorter,

our potential clients
will be looking up at us.

It's the ultimate power move.

If you knew anything
about business,

you would have sawed these
a long time ago.

-That's not how
business works.

-Hmm, interesting.
You sure about that?

-I thought I was sure.

But based on those glasses,

you obviously
know more about this than me.

-Oh! They're here!

They're here, they're here,
they're here!

-Welcome!
I'm Presley.

-Hi, and I'm Lex.

And you're Mark and Christine.

And you're Lulu
and Poochie-Boy!

[squeals]
I love you and your dogs.

-Aw, that's so sweet of you.

-Yeah, we feel like
we know you from your

thousands of comments
and emojis.

-So how long have you two
been a couple?

[both laugh]

What?
No, no, no, no.

Our dogs are a couple.

Christine and I
are just friends.

-Yeah. Anyway,
he's way too handsome for me.

-And she's
way too beautiful for me.

-Sorry, I asked.

-Now, let's talk business.

Please join us
in our reserved table,

the table reserved
for business.

-Have a seat.
-Ooh.

After you, Christine.
-Aw.

-Oh, you're sitting
in those chairs.

-Yes. Aren't you going to sit?

-Of course
we are going to sit.

-All the way down here.

Oh. Okay.

[sighs]

Are you guys comfy?

-Yeah, I feel
so confident and in charge

in this seat.
-Mm-hmm.

-[chuckles]
Well, I am so glad.

Lex, why don't you start.

-I think you'll be
very impressed

with our presentation.

Now, if you direct your
attention to my binder...

[click]
both: Ooh!

-You'll see
that we propose to have

your event here
in the MicroMooery,

we have planned out
every micro moment.

-We'll be able to pack this
place full of people.

We get paid by the person.

-We were thinking
more of having

an intimate ceremony

and live streaming it online
for everyone.

-Yeah, we can
make that happen.

We'll even set up
the livestream for you.

We get paid
by the online person.

-Are you feelin' this?

'Cause I'm feelin' this.

-Between the three-ring binder
and those glasses,

I'm feeling good.
-Me too.

You guys are hired.

-Let's shake on it.

-Uh, we can do this.

Just about to get up.
-This is so embarrassing.

-Okay.
-[laughs]

[all laughing]

-Great. Now, let's talk about
the ceremony.

It's gonna be Lulu's big day,

isn't that right, Lulu?

Oh, you are just so cute.
Yes, you are, yes you are.

Yes, you are.
-Hey, why don't I

take the dogs out on the patio,
and the three of you

can work out the details.

That way, Lex can talk
like an adult

and I cannot throw up.

♪ ♪

All right,
Lulu and Poochie-Boy,

let's practice
the ring ceremony.

Reggie, you just hang out there
looking cool.

All right.
You'll each get a ring.

Lulu, you'll give your ring
to Poochie-Boy.

[growling]

Woah, why are you growling?

Any ideas, Reggie?

[barks]

Okay, let's try this again.

Lulu, give your ring
to Poochie-Boy.

[growling]

She's just not getting it,
huh, Reggie?

[barks]

Okay, this is getting weird.

Poochie-Boy.
[growls]

Reggie.
[barks]

Poochie-Boy.
[growls]

Every time I say Poochie-Boy...
[growls]

you growl,
and every time I say Reggie...

[barks]

you get excited.

Please don't tell me
you like Lex's dog

more than the dog
you're supposed to marry.

[barking]

I said don't tell me.
[barking]

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds
when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go off
and friends are on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me,
we got this ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

-You look like a girl
who needs some dairy.

What can I get you?

-[sighs]
Chocolate milkshake. No.

Double chocolate,

heavy on the whip.

-Oh, that's a serious drink.

Something on your mind?

-Lex and I got hired to
throw a celebrity dog wedding,

but I'm pretty sure the dogs
getting married aren't in love.

-Huh, that's a new one.

Sounds like you need to
call the wedding off.

-I can't.

Throwing this wedding
is Lex's dream.

I mean, look.

-So the first tier of
the doggie wedding cake

will be vanilla.

The second tier, peanut butter.

And the third tier, bacon.

-Wow, we came to the right
teenage dog wedding planners.

-I know Lex,
if I tell her

Lulu doesn't love
Poochie-Boy,

she'll have to
call off the wedding

and that will break her heart.

Plus, we won't get paid,
which will break my heart.

What do I do, Spenders?

-Let me put it this way,

if your friend had
the greatest milkshake ever

but someone spit in it,
would you tell her?

Even if she would have
never found out

that she was drinking spit.

-Did you spit
in this milkshake?

-You wanna know, don't you?

-I see your point, Spenders.

I'm gonna tell her.

And I'm not
gonna drink this.

♪ ♪

-How is getting out
of a straitjacket

made of leashes supposed
to help me marry dogs?

-If you understood,
you'd already be free.

-Hey, Fisher.
What's with the Tux?

-Lex has weddings on her mind.

I need her to forget
about me and my PJs

and think about me
as her future groom.

Oh, hey, Bardo.

-You know Bardo?

-Yeah.
He drives my school bus.

-Only on weekdays.
-And field trips.

-And field trips.

-We're going to a farm
next week.

-All right. He doesn't need
to know everything.

-I think I got it.

[grunting]

-Impressive.

-I have an older brother,
so it's not the first time

I've been tied up
with dog leashes.

♪ ♪

-And then Lulu will throw
her tennis ball bouquet

over her shoulder.

Her paws aren't made
for throwing,

but love will find a way.

-Lex, can I talk to you?

-Wait, did something happen
to the ice sculpture?

-No, but it's important.

-Well, I'm in the middle of
planning a magical wedding,

so I'm sure it can wait.

-It's about the ice sculpture.
-I knew it.

Please excuse me.

-All right.
The ice sculpture's fine.

-What?
You know I don't like lying,

especially about frozen
decorations.

-Look, I'm gonna tell you this
as plainly as possible.

If there was spit
in your milkshake,

would you wanna know?

-Why is there spit
in my milkshake?

-All right, look,

Lulu doesn't love Poochie-Boy.

Wow.

-I'm sorry. I'm just really
stressed right now,

and you said something
ridiculous.

-Okay. I know this isn't
what you wanna hear,

but it's true.

You know, I should've
seen that one coming.

-If what you were saying
were true,

I would have to
call off this wedding.

-Just gonna grab your
slapping hand for a second.

What I'm saying is true,

and we have to
call off the wedding.

-Why are you trying
to ruin this for me?

I mean, I don't go around
ruining your dream

of sleeping
in a giant burrito,

which is never going to happen,
by the way.

-Believe me, I don't wanna
lose this job,

but I saw Lulu choose your dog
over Poochie-Boy.

-That's crazy.

-You're so excited to plan
this wedding,

you're ignoring what's really
important to you--

true dog love.

-Why do you care?

-Because I know you and when
you realize that these dogs

really aren't into each other,

you're gonna feel horrible.

-Sorry, Presley,
I'm just not buying it.

So if you'll excuse me,
I have dog wedding to plan.

-'Sup?

Nothing?

It took me an hour-and-a-half
to tie this.

-Saw the whole thing.

Come on,
lemme buy you a drink.

Also, lend me some money
so I can buy you a drink.

♪ ♪

-Onto the next challenge.

When marrying dogs,
you must be ready

for any situation
that may arise.

Here's the scenario.

I'm a groom.

I'm about to say my vows,

and I see a squirrel.

Go.
[panting]

[barking]

-Hey, hey, fella,
it's your wedding day.

It's something more important
than squirrels--

love.
-[quizzical bark]

-That's right.

See, love is like having
a squirrel to play with,

but for the rest of your life.

And you found your squirrel.

-Munchy, that was magnificent.

-You want me to take you
for a walk?

-I'm no longer a dog.

I'm a man.

A man who admires you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

-So, I've tried telling Lex

that Lulu
doesn't love Pucci Boy,

and that we should
call off the wedding,

but she slapped me
numerous times.

-At least she noticed you.

She walked right past me
in my tuxedo.

I would've loved a slap.

-I'm sorry, Fish.
I think you look great.

-Thanks.

-[sighs] I wish there was
something we could do.

-Well, there isn't.

I mean, I could build a machine

that translates dog barks
into English,

that way Lex I could hear
how they feel

from the dogs themselves.

-W-wait, is that even
possible?

-I think so.
I've been dabbling

in animal voice recognition.

Pigeons are jerks, by the way.

-I've told you that for years.

-I'd be happy to use my tech
to help you.

-You would do that?

Even if it could ruin
this dog wedding

and break Lex's heart?

[laughing]

-Presley,
how do I explain this?

Imagine someone spits
in your milkshake.

Wouldn't you wanna know?

-See, this kid gets it.

-Okay. You're right.

Let's get to work, Fisher.

Oh, and one more thing,

is it possible for you to build

a burrito large enough
for me to sleep in?

-No, that's ridiculous.

Now, let's go make
a dog translator.

♪ ♪

-For your final test,
you must break open the piñata

that is in front of you.

Swing away, Munchy.

Swing away!

-I can't do it.

-What's wrong?
-I don't wanna hit that.

It's an adorable dog.

-How do you know?

You're wearing a blindfold.

-I just know.

I've always known.

-Remove your blindfold
and look at me

with the eyes of
a dog minister.

-Do you mean I passed?

-That's right.

Welcome to the Arch-Dogocese,
Munchtopher.

It is done.

-I've never been more proud
of anything

I've ever done in my life,

and I once peeled an orange
one-handed.

-Now, let's celebrate

by smacking the heck
out of this pigeon pinata.

-Yes!
Pigeons are such jerks.

Who's stealing
my pizza crust now?

♪ ♪

-Ugh, why is this
taking so long?

Science is so much faster
on TV.

-Hey, this machine was made
to interpret whale noises.

I need time to modify it
to interpret dog barks.

Now, let's give this thing
a try.

-Oh--oh, wait,
I'm the test subject?

-See any dogs around?

-Okay. What do I do?

-Just bark into the device.

This machine will translate
the barks in English.

-Okay.
Woof, woof, woof, arf, arf.

-No, it's only gonna work
if you sound like a real dog.

-Okay.

[barking]

-And got it.

-Did you translate
what I said?

-Of course not.
You're not a dog.

But this video is gonna get
a ton of views.

-Fisher!

-Next time,
gimme a heads up

when Lex is here
and I'm in my jammies.

-Give me--give me!

♪ ♪

-You did a good job, Lex.

This is the nicest,
and only dog wedding

I've ever been to.

-Thank you.
Okay. Now it's time

for Lulu to walk down the aisle
and marry Poochie-Boy.

["Wedding March" playing]

♪ ♪

-The day's finally here.
-I know.

We're getting married.

I mean,
our dogs are getting married.

-Yeah.
[both laugh]

-Please be seated.

Sit. Sit.

Welcome, everyone,
to this joyous day,

where we will join
Lulu and Poochie-Boy

in holy muttrimony.

Now, bef--
-Stop the dog wedding!

[all gasping]

-What are you doing?

-I can't let this wedding
happen, Lex.

Look at this!

I said, look at this!

Fisher, you're making me
look like an idiot.

-You could've held the door.

-This machine will translate
dog barks into words.

You need to hear
how Lulu really feels.

-I am so sorry about this.

-Don't be sorry.
-Yeah. We've always wondered

what our dogs have to say.

-Yes, sometimes we do voices

and pretend they're talking
to each other.

-[high-pitched]
Yes, we do Poochie-Boy.

-[imitating dog]
I love you, Lulu.

-All set.

Lulu, do you love
Poochie-Boy?

[barks]

-First of all,
my name is Marge.

Second, I do love Poochie-Boy.

-Aha!

[barks]
-But only as a friend.

I don't want to get married
to him.

-What? Really?

-That doesn't make any sense.

I-I've seen the photos
of you two

online and you always
seem so happy.

[barks]
-Social media is a mirage.

The truth is I kinda
have a crush on Reggie.

-Reggie, you dog.

-I can't believe this.

-Presley, you were right.

I should have listened to you.
I am so sorry.

-It's okay. We'll be even
right after this.

-After what?

I deserve that.

Come here, you.

-Sorry, everyone.

Looks like there won't be
a wedding today.

-Aww.
-Wait.

We still could
throw a wedding.

There are two people here
who do belong together.

-Yes! Let's do this!

-No!

After spending some time
with you guys,

it's obvious that
you two are in love.

both: We are?

[barks]

-Of course you are.

You should
totally get married.

-I would, but Christine could
get any dog owner she wanted.

-Ah, there's only one dog
owner I want.

It's you.

[barks]
-Kiss her, you fool.

-Should we--yep?
-Yep. Let's do it.

-Okay.
-Ah.

[cheers and applause]

-Who wants a wedding?

♪ ♪