01x18 - Juckles

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Side Hustle". Aired: November 7, 2020 - present.*
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After accidentally setting their principal's boat on fire, best friends Lex, Presley, and Munchy create an app to get jobs to pay off their debt.
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01x18 - Juckles

Post by bunniefuu »

-All right.
I've got three grilled cheeses,

two with no crust
and one with just crust.

-What?
I'm a crust guy.

-Jaget in!
-Jaget's here.

Maybe if we don't move,
he won't see us!

-Boat. Payment. Money. Now.

-We pay you tomorrow.

-Then you get
these back tomorrow.

-What?

-My crust.

-Oh, and Munchy,
check your pocket.

-It is filled with pudding.

-I filled your pocket
with pudding!

[huckles]
Classic Jaget.

-He is out of control.

-Hey, I saw what Jaget did,

and I totally understand
what you're going through.

Have you guys met Buckles?
-Yeah, she owns FroYo Yoyo,

where they put a yo-yo
in every froyo.

-She's also trying to run
the Mooery out of business.

She's driving me nuts.
Well, she's gonna find out,

where I'm from,
you don't play like that!

-Hey, guys!

-Oh, no.
She's here!

-Guess what, Ty?

I decided to send you
a mean singing telegram,

but then I got sad I wouldn't
see the look on your face

when you got it, so here I am.

Come stand over here.

You're on, Penny!

-♪ Here's a message for Ty
and the place that you work ♪

♪ The Mooery's stupid
and you're kind of a jerk ♪

♪ From Buckles! ♪

-You know, the worst part
about that is...

that song's gonna be stuck
in my head all week.

-Hey, I heard
that mean song

you had that girl sing
to milkshake guy.

It reminds me of the time
I hired a sewer clown

to follow around Munchy.
He didn't sleep for a week.

-It ruined sewers for me.

-Wow.
You're impressive.

-Tell me something
I don't know.

-Uh...I love breadsticks,
but I hate bread.

And I love cowboys,
but I hate cows.

[cow mooing]

-Shut up!

-I like everything about you.

How do you feel
about milkshakes?

-What flavor?
-Stolen

-What--hey!

-Ooh!
-Care to join me?

Jaget out!

-That's obnoxious.

I love it!
Buckles out!

-Whoa, Jaget and Buckles
just walked out together.

-We just witnessed
the dawn of... Juckles.

♪ ♪

-Hey, Fisher,
what are you doing?

-I'm modifying this microwave
so my dad

can cook a turkey
in seven seconds.

I told him there'd be
a good chance of it exploding,

but he said it's worth it.

-Wait, wait.
I need your help.

I broke this bullhorn I use

when I yell at kids
in the cafeteria.

-You want me to fix it?

-No, I tried to order
a replacement online,

but instead
of clicking on "bullhorn,"

I accidentally clicked
on "mechanical bull."

You know, the Internet
is a very confusing place.

-Can't you just return it?
-Well, I was going to,

but I couldn't resist
riding it first.

I mean, how often do I get
to wear my cowboy hat?

After it threw me off,
I got upset,

grabbed a baseball bat,

and, well...

here we are.

-Okay.
Okay.

I can help you,

but, in exchange,
I want a cowboy hat.

-Can do, partner.

♪ ♪

-Come on, Munchy.

Jaget will be here any second,
and we owe him money.

-Let me just figure out
how to open my piggy bank.

-Where are you kids?
-No time!

-Hey!
It's empty.

-Oh, right.

I spent all my money
on the piggy bank.

-Well, that was worth it.
It was really fun to smash.

-Aha!
I found you!

-Jaget, we know
that you want...

-I got something
to say to you kids.

Your friendship
makes my world go round.

-What's happening?
-Wait.

Is this a trick where we let
our guard down

and then you kick us?
'Cause you've done that before.

-You kids are funny.
I like you.

You know who else I like?
Buckles.

-So I'm guessing
your date went well.

-It went amazing.

Life's so much better
since I met her.

The air is sweeter,
sun is shinier,

sandwiches are sandwichier.

-Okay.

Well, look, we know
that you're here

to collect the boat payment--

-It's all good.
Money's just a thing.

I'm all about feelings now.
Feelings are real.

-Okay.

So if you're not here
for the payment,

then why did you come?

-I wanted to know if you saw

the sunrise this morning.

I saw oranges, reds,
and a little bit of myself.

-Well, thanks
for stopping by.

-Oh, and Munchy,
check your pocket.

-Oh, no.

-Those are from me,
because I love you, bro!

Jaget out...

of his mind with happiness.

-Okay, so let me get
this straight...

Jaget was friendly?

And he didn't try to kick you?
'Cause he's done that.

-It's true.

It was like
he was a different person.

He wasn't Jaget.
He was nice Jaget.

-Yeah, the only time
I've ever seen him that happy

was the time he karate chopped
a hummingbird out of the air.

-Well, our lives are going
to be a lot better

as long as Buckles
and Jaget stay together.

-Cheers.

-Hey, have you seen Jaget?

I'm breaking up with him.

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds
when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go up
in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me,
we got this ♪

-So, Buckles, when you said
you're breaking up with Jaget,

you meant you're breaking up
with him as a friend

because now you're officially
a couple, right?

-No. It's more like
I'm dumping him,

and, if I saw him fall over,
I wouldn't help him up.

-What happened?

-Well,
things were great at first,

but now he's just bleh.

-Okay.
Now hold on a minute.

My brother can be
an ugh and an oof,

but he's definitely not a bleh.

-He's a bleh to me.
So when Jaget gets here,

I'm gonna use
my singing telegram girl

to break up with him for me.

Get ready, Penny!

-♪ I'm all warmed up ♪

-Um... excuse us
for a second.

-Oh, sure.
I'll just yell at the cow.

Hey, cow!

No one likes you,
and you smell!

[cow mooing]

-Guys, we can't let Buckles
break up with Jaget.

-I got a taste of nice Jaget.
I can't go back.

I won't.
I won't, I tell you!

-Okay.
Okay.

I'll talk to Buckles.
I'm good at this stuff.

Hey, girl!
Love the belt buckle.

-What do you want?

-Can you give Jaget
one more chance?

And maybe we can convince him

to be less bleh
and more yeah...

-Hmm... let me think about it.

No.

-We'll set up a fancy dinner,
all expenses paid.

-Including
all-you-can-eat breadsticks.

-I'm in.

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

-Hi, Tedward.

You better have
that cowboy hat ready,

because I'm almost done

putting your mechanical bull
back together.

No, I'm up in my bedroom.

What do you mean,
it's way too big

to fit through the door?

I'll call you back.

-Look, guys.

If we want to keep
nice Jaget around,

we've got to figure out
a way he can win back Buckles.

-I got it.

We get Fisher to build a robot

that looks just like her.

-Any other ideas...

that aren't robots?

-Oh, okay.

We dress up Jaget
as an English housekeeper,

send him to Buckle's house so
he learns everything about her,

and then he starts saying,
"hel-loooo."

-So our ideas are
to build a robot

and the plot
to "Mrs. Doubtfire?"

-Okay.
If we aren't doing robots,

which I think is a mistake,
we should tell Jaget

that Buckles
wants to break up with him,

but we can help win her back.

-Are you sure Jaget
can handle the truth?

-I know my brother.

He's tough.
He can take it.

-Ahhhhh!

I can't take it.

-I was wrong.
He could not take it.

-I'm sorry, Jaget,
but it's the truth.

Buckles is thinking
about breaking up.

-If she breaks up with me,
I have nothing to focus on

except giving you kids
a hard time.

Hey, don't you owe me
a boat payment?

-Uh... we have something
more important to talk about,

like our plan to help you
win back Buckles.

-Yes, it's a three-step plan.

We're going to work
on your sense of humor,

make you a man of the world,
and give you a makeover.

-Makeover?

-Number one, sense of humor.

Girls love to laugh.

-I'm already funny.
Watch this.

Where'd you get those shoes,
the idiot store?

Where'd you get that shirt,
the idiot store?

-Okay.
I'm gonna stop you right there.

Not all humor
has to insult people.

-Where'd you hear that?

The idiot store?

-Listen, you don't have
to make fun of someone

to be funny.

Take my favorite comic,
Muffin Top.

He uses props
to make the world laugh.

-Sounds stupid.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

What's that you say?

[punchy music]

-Okay.
That's pretty good.

-Number two,
we want Buckles to think

you're a man of the world.

We want you
to seem sophisticated

and well-traveled.

-I've been
all over Pennsylvania,

including Lebanon,
birthplace of baloney.

-Since we don't have time
for you to actually travel,

we're gonna show you
some different videos

from places around the world.

-This first one
is Paris, France.

-Nice try,
but that's two places.

♪ ♪

-No, Paris is a city
in France.

-You already lost me.

♪ ♪

-Number three, makeover!
-Makeover!

♪ ♪

-Oh, my goodness!
-You look great.

-So good!

-You're both right.
I'm a beautiful man.

-Are you sure
this is gonna work?

-Yeah, Buckles
is going to love

the new and improved Jaget.

And then, once they're
back together and happy,

Jaget will be nice to us

and Buckles will be nice
to you.

-Good.
Because last night,

she sent
that singing telegram girl

outside my window at : a.m.

and then again at : a.m.

and then again at : a.m.

-Guys, here she comes.
-Okay.

Remember, big bro, show Buckles
that you're funny and romantic.

-What's up, jerks?

-Bonjour, senorita.

That's French
and Spanish for, "sup?"

-What are you wearing?
-This is my new look.

What do you think?
-I think I'm leaving.

-Buckles, you promised
to give Jaget a chance.

-Ugh... fine.
I'll stay for one breadstick.

-Great.

I have your table
ready right over here.

-A little something
to set the mood.

[strumming ukulele]

♪ ♪

-This is nice.
It reminds me of Paris,

which is in a country
called France.

Know how they say
crosswalk over there?

-No. How?
-I have no idea,

probably something
like [French accent] crosswalk.

-I'm learning so much today.

You want to eat that ukulele?

-Good evening.

Would you like to hear
the specials?

-We would.

-The special tonight
is dinner.

-Sounds delicious.
We'll take two.

-Excellent choice.

-Can I offer my lady
a breadstick?

-Finally!

-It's a breadstick, get it?
It's funny.

And nobody's feelings got hurt.

-I think it's working.

-See, it's bread
with a stick in it.

-No, I get it.

Yeah, I just don't joke
about breadsticks.

-Um... I didn't catch that.

Can you repeat that
in my good ear?

-I'm gonna stop you
right there.

I didn't bring
the singing telegram girl

to break up with you,

so I'm gonna have
to do it myself.

♪ I really hate
to eat and run ♪

♪ But you and I are all done ♪

Bye!

-Wait!
-Sorry, Jaget.

We really thought
this was gonna work.

But just because Buckles
broke up with you

doesn't mean you have to go
back to being mean Jaget.

We really like
the new, nice Jaget.

-Don't worry.
Because mean Jaget is gone.

Now all that's left
is mean Jaget plus!

-Well, introducing
the first of seven courses.

-Mean Jaget plus out!

And I'm taking these props!

They're hilarious.

-I feel kind of bad
about Jaget.

-I know, but we tried
our best to keep Buckles

from breaking up with him.
-I'm worried.

He said he's gonna be
worse than before.

-Yeah, but he did say that
right after Buckles

broke up with him.

I know my brother.
This'll all blow over.

-Hey! Hey!
That's our slushy machine!

-No, this is
my slushy machine!

-Munchy, how are you always
so wrong about your brother?

-He's a complex man.

-You were late
with my daddy's boat payment,

so I'm taking this as penalty.
-What?

-Yeah, and next,
I'm taking your shoes.

-Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!

-What was that?

-No idea.
Let's find out.

-This is the best thing ever!

-What's the best thing ever?
I'ma take that too.

-Yeah!
Yee-haw!

-Fisher, what is going on?

-Tedward bought
a mechanical bull,

destroyed it,
asked me to fix it.

And I did!
I totally Fisherized it!

I can ramp it up so fast
no one could possibly stay on.

-False!

I could stay
on any mechanical bull

at any setting.

If I wasn't so sad, I'd get on
that thing and blow your minds.

-Yeah he's legit amazing
at riding these things.

All those years
of holding stop signs

has given him
an incredible grip.

-Well, Buckle said
she loves cowboys.

It's too bad
we couldn't get her here

to see Jaget ride the bull.

-Wait! Buckles, belt buckles,
cowboys, rodeo,

Rodeo Drive,
Beverly Hills...wait.

I went too far.
I got to go back.

Beverly hills,
Rodeo Drive, rodeo!

We should hold a rodeo night
at the Mooery

and get Buckles there!

-Yes, she'll see Jaget riding
the bull like a cowboy

and be so impressed she'll want
to get back together.

What do you think, Jaget?
-I don't know.

Your last plan
didn't go so well.

all: Aw...

-But I am amazing
at riding mechanical bulls.

[all gasp]

-But I can't take Buckles
rejecting me again.

all: Aw...

-But I won't have to,
'cause this plan's gonna work.

Let's do it!

[cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-Wow!
This is so cool.

-I'm not usually a hat guy,

but this is more of a house
for my hair.

-You ready for your ride?

-I reckon I am, partner.

Thanks for fixing my bull.
And as promised...

Partner.

-Partner.

-It's bull riding time.

[cheering and applause]

[instrumental country music]

♪ ♪

-Let's give it up
for Principal Tedward!

[cheering and applause]

-Yee-Haw!

I mean,
that was very thrilling.

-Is Buckles here yet?

-Oh, no,
but she should be soon.

-How do you know?
-We stole her wallet.

-But all you need to worry
about is riding that bull.

-On it.
I'ma show Buckles

a master class in how
to hang on to a bull.

I call it Jag-grip-su.

Lesson number one, stare down
the bull and get into his head.

-He knows the bull's
not real, right?

-Like I said,
he's a complex man.

-Buckles is here.
Be cool!

-Why'd you kids take
my wallet?

-Oh, no.
That was your wallet?

We'll give it back.

-But first, what is this event
that's going on?

Is that a cowboy?

[cheering and applause]

-Buckles,
we know you love cowboys.

So you might as well stay

and watch cowboy Jaget
ride the bull.

-Well, there's a chance
he might get hurt, so... okay!

-Next up... Jaget!

[cheering and applause]

-Are you ready?

-I'm always ready,
science kid.

♪ ♪

-Ah, this is boring.

You know what?
Keep my wallet.

-I need to impress Buckles.
Crank it up!

[cheering and applause]

-No, still boring.

-More juice!

-No!
Remember, I modified it

so no one
could possibly survive!

-I said, more juice!

-Okay.
You asked for it.

-I'm gonna live forever--

[all gasp]

-Okay.
Glad I stayed.

-Why'd you give it
so much juice?

-Jaget, are you okay?

-No.
I haven't been okay

since I started listening
to you three.

If you thought my mean
was at a ten before,

I'm about to invent a number
even bigger than ten.

-You mean like ?

-Like a Jag-jillion.

-Wow.

You are really mean
to these kids.

-Yeah, so?
-So I like it.

-Really?
-Yeah, your meanness

is what made me like you
in the first place,

but then, after we went out,
you couldn't stop talking

about sunsets and puppies.

-Well, if you want mean,
you ain't seen nothing yet.

-No! Wait!
We don't want mean!

-Do we get a vote?

-For the record, I vote no.

-Want to yell at the cow
on the way out?

-I'd be delighted.
Hey, cow!

Where'd you get that moo,

the idiot store?

[cow mooing]

[both cackle]

-We are definitely
gonna regret this, right?

-Most definitely.
-For sure.

both: Juckles out!
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