01x04 - Would You Wrather Have Potato Pants?

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Wrather-heads.

There are times we use this livestream to help work through some very serious issues.

But today's not that day.

Bring on the giant toothpaste! Sorry we stole your toothpaste, King Kong.

[high-pitched laughter.]

I told him that joke wasn't gonna work.

Um, Stacy13 thought it was hysteric-- oh.

She's laughing at me.

Just want you guys to know this segment's made possible by Gary's Box 'N Ship.

Both: Gary's, Gary's, Gary's Box 'n Ship! Formerly Gary's Optic Barn! Formerly Gary's Pet Palace! Gary is not a good business man.

So here it is, Wrather-heads-- Would you rather never use a toothbrush or be a human toothbrush? Vote now.

Looks like human toothbrush takes it.

Let's see what Ollie chose.

Fred wrote me an opening joke but Let's move on.

Sorry for trying to make the world smile.

All right, let's focus.

We only have one sh*t at this.

Jump when ready.

One - Excuse me, coming through.

- Coop: Two - Camera's off.

- Coop: Three! - [toothpaste squirts.]

- [both screaming.]

Charlotte! What are you doing? All we saw was your hand.

You know Mom's rule, you're not allowed to put me on your little show.

Which is why we're doing it in here.

I needed to get something.

Do you know how long it took us to plan this? Coop: The toothbrush suit.

Filling the tube with whipped cream.

The witty intros alone.

You've gotta get over your fear of being on camera.

It's not a fear.

I don't wanna look stupid in front of the world.

Why is she pointing at me? Can you just get what you came for? Huh.

Now I don't remember.

Oh well.

I don't even know what to say right now.

I guess you could say that 4 out of 5 dentists agree Ollie could really use a shower.

Are you people made of stone? Would you rather lose your phone Or give up pizza for a month Share your diary with the world Or have to eat it for your lunch Sing out of tune to your friends Or trip and fall into your crush Shave your head, paint it red Or use your dog's toothbrush We need a little Q&A Come on Wrather-heads, play along Would you rather do this Would you rather do this Or would you rather do that Would you rather do that Don't matter what we do We're doing it with you I'd rather do that Ask the world Would you rather do this Would you rather do this Or would you rather just dance Or would you rather just dance No matter what we do We're doing it with you I'd rather do that Ask the world! Would you rather do that? I knew people would be able to tell these were my mom's old jeans! We weren't laughing at that.

Good.

Because they definitely aren't.

Anyway we were testing out a new app for our show.

It's a Charlotte blocker.

Now we won't have to turn off our cameras when she's around.

'Cause we'll be able to hide her face and change her voice.

[laughing.]

[distorted laughing.]

I'm freaking out.

Relax.

It's just an app.

No.

Do you know who Charlotte's talking to? Those are The Glamtronics! Right.

That singing group from school.

Yeah, Coop, because that's all they are.

A singing group.

Did you know that their lead singer, Manny, loves kale smoothies, but hates Mondays, and his middle name is Fred.

At least I want it to be.

Someone seems obsessed with this band.

I need a picture.

Fred, what are you doing? You don't bother a celebrity.

You need to use a little something called tact.

[shutter clicks.]

I'm so making this my screensaver.

Uh-oh.

She probably saw us recording.

- Before you yell at us-- - Who's yelling? I just wanted to bring you guys some free mozzarella sticks.

No, you're an armpit face.

Wait, I was kinda locked into my comeback.

What did you say? I just feel bad that I ruined your livestream earlier.

No.

You want something.

Spill it.

Fine.

The Glamtronics want me to audition.

And if you let them sing on your show to promote their upcoming concert, then I'll definitely make the group.

Give a second, if you would.

She just wants to use us to get into that group.

Good.

You caught up.

You know what we have to do.

Eat the mozzarella sticks but insist on paying for them.

Oh, right.

Being ruthless isn't your thing.

Follow my lead.

Okay.

We'll have the Glamtronics on the show.

But that comes at a price.

Yeah it does.

Five dollars.

Cash.

Stop talking.

We'll agree to that.

If for the first time ever, you agree to come on our show and do any "Would You Wrather" we want.

- That's genius.

- That's crazy.

That's the offer.

[sighs.]

Fine.

What's a moment of embarrassment if it gets me into the Glamtronics? The best show of our lives.

[muffled.]

What? And when I looked up, I saw Ollie emptying this garbage can all over Benjamin's desk.

I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound like my son.

Then he started to eat the garbage.

Okay, that sounds like my son.

All I can tell you is Ollie is a complex child who feels things on a very deep level-- or maybe I just didn't feed him this morning.

What's most troubling, is this is Benjamin's first day at school.

When Ollie was dumping the garbage, he looked at him and yelled, "Time to take out the trash!" Sarah, Benjamin, I am so sorry.

I think an apology from Ollie is certainly in order.

Ollie? Ollie! We need to go.

Benjy, grab your backpack.

Ollie? I promise this behavior is unusual.

Ollie really is a very normal boy.

[screams.]

[all scream.]

[whispering.]

I'm Benjy's backpack.

Not much left to say, is there? Not one word! You head to your room until I come up with a punishment.

It's Meatloaf Monday.

Maybe you punish me with no dinner? Maybe I will.

Hey! Unbelievable.

You like my meatloaf, right? Mom, you know I'd never lie to you.

Kids are fun.

We need to dig deep on this one.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

What are you guys doing? Shh! He's brainstorming "Would You Wrathers" for you to do.

Cami: It's like watching Picasso paint.

The head scratcher helps him think? No, dry scalp.

I got it.

Would you rather eat a whole bowl of spicy hot wasabi mashed potatoes or wear them in your pants? Boom.

Mic drop.

Great, can't wait to do it.

No, you're an armpit face! She said she's in.

Yep, and in less than an hour, I'm going to be a Glamtronic.

Ahh! I can't hear a word she's saying.

All I'm picturing is a giant potato.

Anyway, I'm gonna go warm up my instrument then head to school for the audition.

I'm going to be a Glamtronic! Ahhh! Okay, now I can't hear a word she's saying because she blew out my eardrums.

Can you believe this? After Charlotte gets in the group, she's gonna have to do our "Would You Wrather.

" I know.

And there's nothing that can stop it.

[Charlotte vocalizing badly.]

Except her voice.

We have to stop Charlotte from auditioning.

If the Glamtronics hear her sing, it'll ruin everything.

And she'd humiliate herself.

What? Oh yeah, that too.

Anyway, if we delay her audition until after they perform on our show, then Charlotte can't back out of the deal.

And we'd have time to tell her that she can't sing and spare her the embarrassment of auditioning.

What? Oh, yeah.

That too.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Fred: Ow! 'Sup? Fred, what are you doing? Enjoying the gift of music.

The Glamtronics are warming up in there.

Why not just stand by the door? And look like some creepy stalker? No, thank you.

Can you lower my lid? Oh, no! Charlotte's about to audition.

We have to stop this.

Come on, I know just what to do.

No, you don't.

No, I don't.

All right, follow my lead.

Stop the audition! Why? You're up.

What are you guys doing here? We, uh, just came down to support you.

Hey g*ng.

I'm Manny.

Love your show.

Can't wait to jam some beats at your casa.

But this is a closed door sesh, so this is me, asking you, to leave.

So [singing.]

Namaste.

He's closed eye singing.

You have to leave.

Absolutely.

Or Deb.

Ollie, I want to talk to you about that boy Benjamin.

Was he mean to you in school today? He did call me a jerk.

A-ha! I knew it.

After I dumped trash on him.

Why, Ollie? Why would you throw garbage all over his desk? Because of this.

Why are you giving me a wrestling magazine? Benjamin's dad is "The Garbage Collector"! My favorite wrestler of all time.

Starting to get the picture His big move is dumping garbage all over his opponent like this.

"Time to take out the trash!" Are you serious? You got two-day-old tomato sauce all over my brand-new shoes.

I thought Benjamin would like it and invite me over to meet his dad.

Okay, but dumping garbage is not the way to make someone happy, as you can tell by my face.

Sorry.

Fine, but Benjamin's the one you need to apologize to.

His mom's number should be on the class list.

You gonna eat that sauce? One problem at a time.

[phone ringing.]

Hello? Ollie? Speaking.

You stole his mom's phone? Don't tell me.

Just to meet the wrestler.

I'm sorry.

I'm on a call.

In the car, you demon.

You know, it's the stealing of microphones and the chasing that gives normal fans like me a bad rap.

Someone's coming.

What was that? Luckily, Manny agreed to reschedule me for this weekend.

Why would you try to mess up my audition? Because you're a horrible singer.

[laughing.]

Good one.

Look, I don't know what's behind this, but you better not be trying to back out of our deal.

[giggling.]

Horrible singer.

The girl does have ears, right? You tried.

I say let's get these guys on the show today before anything else can go wrong.

Good call.

Should I tell them to come over at 6:00? Fred: Nope.

That's when Manny has water aerobics.

What's the deal with Charlotte? Like, are we really gonna add a new member to the group? Okay, first Malcolm, can you have more dog hair on your shirt? I mean, it's literally like you're wearing a Yorkie.

Manny: And "B" We're not adding Charlotte.

We just say we are so we can promote our concert on "Would You Wrather.

" That's not cool, man ny.

You know what else isn't cool, Deb? Those wristbands.

I mean, what? Hey there.

Just walked in.

Right now.

Not earlier, right now.

I have absolutely no time for this.

All right, well, we wanted to see if you guys wanted to move up your appearance on our show.

How 'bout tonight? Tonight works.

But only if it's okay with Deb.

- Sure-- - I'm kidding.

We'll be there.

They were never gonna put Charlotte in their group.

Why would we still do their promo? Because no one messes with our sister but us.

Fred: Ow! That was on purpose.

I'm gonna meet The Garbage Collector! Hey.

We are not here for you to get a reward.

The only words I want to hear out of your mouth are, "I'm sorry.

" Got it.

Should I say that before or after I ask him to autograph my mask? No autographs! [doorbell rings.]

Can we get ice cream after this? I don't think they're home.

We'll just have to come back later.

Let's go.

Ollie? Ollie: Garbage Collector, are you home? How did you get inside the house? Ollie: Not leaving until I meet him.

Hey! Ollie! No! You gotta be kidding me.

Oliver Wrather! You come here this instant.

I am a respected real estate agent in this neighborhood and this is not a good look for me! Sarah: May we help you? Hello.

I'm Jenna Wrather, we met this morning.

I remember.

Anywho, we came over to apologize for my son's behavior and also to return your phone, which Ollie took.

No biggie.

I'm a doctor.

Why would I need this? May I ask why were you squeezing yourself through our doggie door? Oh.

It's actually all because of you.

My son is your biggest fan.

Everything he did was because he wanted to meet his hero.

"The Garbage Collector.

" I prefer sanitation engineer.

Wait a minute.

You're not The Garbage Collector? I'm a garbage collector.

Okay, then This day just keeps getting better and better.

Maybe you should go now.

So here's the thing about that.

My son is kinda hiding in your house.

Of course he is.

Do you think you can find a way to get him out? I think I know a way I could get us both out of your lives.

Yes.

Do that.

Beep! Beep! Who's that coming down the street? It's The Garbage Collector! Yeah! Ha ha! Little man.

Are you gonna start behaving like a good boy? Yes, sir.

- No more stealing phones.

- No, sir.

No more leaving a guest bathroom without flushing? Can't promise that, sir! Good enough.

I have to go ice my back.

There goes the coolest man that ever lived.

I can't thank you enough.

I must say, the boys do look happy together.

Should we exchange numbers for a play date? "Time to take out the trash!" Oh, I hope that wasn't-- The last thing my mother gave me before she left this Earth? She had great taste.

Are we sure this is the best way to handle Manny? Charlotte's our sister.

We show no mercy.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, they're here.

Do not mess this up for me! Or me.

[all scream.]

Wait.

How did you-- Let's all act like we belong here.

Fred, why are you-- Why? Fix this.

Look, truth is I may or may not have made a legal commitment to stay a hundred feet away from the group.

Right this way, guys.

Hi, everyone.

Please look away.

Manny doesn't speak or make eye contact with anyone prior to a performance.

I knew that.

Said the fireplace.

All right.

You guys ready? Let's do this.

Hey, Wrather-heads, Coop and Cami here.

We got a crazy "Would You Wrather" set up for you.

But first this segment is brought to you by The Glamtronics, who are playing the high school this Friday.

Let's give everyone a little taste.

[beatboxing.]

I'm getting down to the real realzies I'm not afraid to feel my feelzies [distorted voice.]

'Cause I'm not just a pretty face Look on the inside I live my truth with grace Ba da ba da baa Wait, stop! Stop! What is happening? What are you two doing? Do you really hate me that much? No.

We care about you that much.

Manny was just using you to promote their concert.

He was never planning to let you in the group.

I'm really sorry.

Is that true, Manny? Um, can we focus on the real victim here? I was just "chipmunk shamed.

" Give it a rest, Manny.

You were just using Charlotte.

Admit it.

Uh, Malcom.

When you get fingerless gloves, we'll listen to you.

You're such a jerk, Manny.

And you know what? I don't think I want to be in a group with you anymore.

I think what they're trying to tell you is [mocking Manny.]

This is them, asking you, to leave.

Fine.

But remember this, little ones.

The fans always follow the talent.

Not this fan.

Manny, you're an arrogant twit.

And by the way, I love Mondays.

And kale smoothies give me serious potty issues.

On that note, I'll be right back.

Make way! [Charlotte sighs.]

Hey, you gonna be okay? I will be.

Thanks, you guys.

Sorry again.

I wish there was something more we could do.

You could let me audition for the group.

You do have an opening.

That is true.

Let's hear what you got.

Coop and Cami: No! You're a horrible singer! Again, I care about you so much.

I know you do.

But I think I'll still give it a sh*t.

In the quiet of the morning As the sun begins to climb Wait.

What was that? That was amazing.

You are so in the group.

I'm a Glamtronic! Ahh! Okey-doke, no law against me standing too close to you.

I'm super happy for Charlotte.

But also, very confused.

How is she suddenly a great singer? I know.

What we heard earlier was not human.

Ollie: Come on! I'll untie you when you stop dumping garbage all over the ground.

[glass breaks.]

Ollie: Sorry! I need to find my happy place.

[singing badly.]

I'm a modern woman walking down the street [Jenna vocalizing badly.]

That explains the singing.

Okay.

I have Glamtronics practice in an hour.

Let's break out the mashed potatoes.

Actually, we're good.

You don't owe us anything.

After what you two did for me? No way I'm backing out.

Let's do this.

Give us a second, if you would.

Happy dance! Hey, Wrather-heads! You guys ready for the best "Would You Wrather" ever? Tonight, our big sister, Charlotte, is finally on our show.

The question is Would you rather eat a giant bowl of spicy hot wasabi mashed potatoes or wear them in your pants? We asked Charlotte the same question and she chose Okay, this is for you guys.

Ahh! Coop: She's doing it.

Ohh! [laughing.]

This is so spicy.

Yes! It's coming out of her nose! And now for a second surprise! Potato pants! She stuffed her pants, too! Most twisted big sister ever! Those are my mom's jeans.

The new lead singer of The Glamtronics has stuffed mashed potatoes in my mom's jeans! Who wants a hug? [all screaming and laughing.]