02x12 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Three

[bunniefuu]

Okay, on to
the next scene.

Yuki, use your magic
to take out Mikuru.

The answer is "no!",
of course.

I can't give my permission for you to use
your magic, let alone hurt Miss Asahina.

Look, Miss Asahina's turning blue
and shaking from fear.

Oh well. We'll use CG effects
in this scene.

Kyon, put in a beam coming
from Yuki's wand, okay?

How am I supposed to put in
a visual effect like that?

Okay, Mikuru, now scream!
And fall over, like you're in pain.

DAY BY DAY unzari dayone dakara
Day by day, everything's just so dull

Doudou to kotowacchau
kimi ni narina yo
That's why you need to become
someone that can just reject it all

OH MY BOY kippari shinakya uso ni
Oh my boy, you need to be decisive

Tsukiatterarenai yo semai sekai de
I won't deal with any lies
in this small world

Jibun de mitsuketa MYSELF
suki ni natte touzen
I found myself on my own,
it's natural you'd fall for me

Kudaranai yarikata kette
Kick away the boring ways
of doing things,

subete wa atashi ga kimeru
I'm going to decide everything

I SAY I SAY MY HEAVEN
I say, I say my heaven

SUPER DRIVER tosshin makasete
nantettate zenshin
Super driver, leave everything
to the rush

SUPER DRIVER tosshin makasete
nantettate zenshin
And just keep going forward,
no matter what

Fukanou (DON'T YOU STOP ME)
Tobikoete TAKE IT EASY, GO!
Surpass (Don't you stop me)
The idea of "impossible"

Fukanou (DON'T YOU STOP ME)
Tobikoete TAKE IT EASY, GO!
Take it easy, go!

Daishouri tte doukan
I agree, it's going to be
a huge victory

Mochiron dounatta tte kaikan
Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
no matter what happens

Hanseikai? (GET BACK TO WILD)
Sore yori saa isoide yo
A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
Forget that, now hurry up

Aremo koremo mitaiken
itsudatte muriyari
We haven't tried this or that,
we always do things how we want

Marude marude mikeiken
korekara shimashou
Everything's a new experience,
let's try them out

Aremo koremo mitaiken
itsudatte totsuzen
We haven't tried this or that,
we always do things suddenly

Marude marude mikeiken
sore ga doushita no?
Everything's a new experience,
what about it?

We need a scene
with pigeons.

There's a shrine nearby.
We're heading there next.

We're going to sh**t a scene
of Mikuru walking along

as some pigeons go flying
into the air.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III
I'd love it if these pigeons
were all completely white.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III
Please don't feed the pigeons
I'd love it if these pigeons
were all completely white.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III
In this case,
I'll let the color slide.

In this case,
I'll let the color slide.

Can't you read Japanese?

What in the world am I
supposed to be filming?

This is it, Kyon!
Be sure to sh**t it!

Why are you sitting down,
Mikuru!?

Hey, you!

What!?

Retreat!

You don't eat much,
do you, Mikuru?

You'll never grow bigger
if you don't eat more.

If you only focus on growing your breasts,
you'll only appeal to a hardcore fan base.

Be sure to get taller, too.

I already know.

I don't know how many years from now it
will be, but Miss Asahina will eventually

have a face and a body good enough for
her to enter the Miss Universe pageant.

Though I don't think
she knows that.

Haruhi, what are you going to do if
that priest complains to the school?

Koizumi's school uniform
is a dead giveaway.

It'll probably be okay. We were pretty far
away, and blazers are fairly common.

Even if he says something,
we can just play stupid.

Once we show the movie, I'm pretty sure
our cover will be blown in an instant.

I can't imagine there's more than
one waitress who would come out

to this shrine and walk
amongst the pigeons.

So where are we
going next?

Let's go back to
the park again.

Now that I think about it, what we got
wasn't enough for a fight scene.

Mikuru, being chased through the forest
by Yuki, running for her life.

How about we have Mikuru
fall off a cliff,

and then she's saved by Koizumi,
who just happened to be walking by?

What a slapdash way to
come up with the story.

This is Haruhi we're talking about, so she
might actually throw her off a cliff.

You should fall instead. Put on that
costume and be her stunt double.

Well, your breasts aren't
quite as big, but...

What are you imagining?

You're not imagining me
as a waitress, are you?

You mind reader...

Are we three the only ones
appearing in the film?

Don't ask needless questions,
you jerk.

Well... I wonder, is three people
not enough?

Koizumi, you helped me realize
something important.

As a reward, I'll give you
more screen time.

Well... thank you.

Serves you right.

I didn't say anything because I knew
I'd be stirring up a hornet's nest.

You've got to take out the minions before
you can defeat the boss, right?

Minions... minions...

- They'll do, right?
- That works!

Taniguchi and Kunikida.
They're perfect supporting characters,

and what's more, they're
the ultimate minions.

In any case, we're going to have horrible
things happen to you, Mikuru.

After all, the theme of this
movie is a pitiful girl

that has horrible things happen
to her getting a happy ending!

The bigger Mikuru's misfortune is,
the bigger the cathartic release will be!

Why are you acting like
I'm unreliable?

And so we returned
to the wooded park.

Let's get rid of
the g*ns.

I thought more amazing b*ll*ts
would come out of them,

but they don't give off any
flashy sounds or flames.

They just don't
feel realistic.

Mikuru, you stand here.

Yuki, you stand here.

Don't move from
those spots, okay?

I want to sh**t a scene where you
two are staring each other down.

Koizumi, get the
reflector ready.

Action!

What the!?

Action? Haruhi, all you've told
them to do is stand there.

What kind of action are
they supposed to take?

Come on, you guys! That won't make
for a battle scene at all.

Well, they're just standing
there, after all.

Listen, Mikuru.

You can't rest on your laurels
just because you're cute!

There are tons of other cute
girls out there, after all.

If you just leave things be, you'll be
overtaken by all the young up-and-comers!

What is she trying
to say?

That's why you have to at least have
a beam come from your eye, Mikuru!

I can't!

That's why your left eye
is a different color.

I didn't make it blue
for no reason.

The idea is that there's incredible
power hidden within it.

That's what the beam is.
It's the Mikuru Beam.

- That's what you need to fire off.
- I can't!

Show some spirit
and fire it!

It hurts!

You idiot!

Cut it out!

What are you doing?

- You need to calm down!
- Let go!

How is a normal human supposed
to sh**t a beam from their eye?

Are you stupid
or something?

I know that.

I just wanted her to show some spirit,
as if a beam might come out.

She lacks the drive you need to
be a lead in a movie, after all.

You don't get jokes,
do you?

That's because your jokes
turn out to not be jokes.

What'll happen if Miss Asahina really gets
the ability to sh**t a beam from her eye?

You can't, right?

After we sh**t the scene, we can figure
something out using CG, right?

Thank you.

And who's going
to do that?

That's what I meant
from the start.

This take was no good.
Let's take it from the top again.

Shout, "Mikuru Beam!"
While you pose like this.

L-Like this?

No, like this!
And close your right eye.

Okay, Mikuru.
Try saying it.

M... M-M-Mikuru Beam!

Louder this time!

Mikuru Beam!

Be less embarrassed about it,
and louder!

M-M-Mikuru Beam!

Project from
your diaphragm!

The stares coming from the families
watching us are starting to hurt...

Okay! Now let's try this
for real!

Now, use the beam!

M-M-Mikuru Beam!

Huh? Yuki, when did you
go over there?

Cut, cut!

Miss Nagato!

Hold on, Yuki,
what are you doing?

- What are you doing? Hey, Nagato!
- This isn't in the script.

Are you all right?

Huh?

Oh, what are you
two doing?

Please don't do anything
that's not in the script.

Huh? Mikuru, what happened
to the contact lens?

Huh?

At a time like this, you ask the one person
who looks like they know what's going on.

Nagato, do you know what happened
to Miss Asahina's color contact?

- I don't.
- That's a lie.

I wonder if it fell out
during your struggle.

Why can't we find it?

Act like
you're looking, too.

It might have been blown away
by the wind. It is light, after all.

What happened?
Did it break?

I guess it was cheap.

Well, it's the Photography Club's,
so I guess that's to be expected.

Koizumi, please tape up
the back or something.

Right.

Without the color contact,
the video won't match up.

What do we do?

Got it! We'll have the eye color change
happen after she transforms!

T-Transform?

Of course! It wouldn't be realistic
if you wore that costume all the time!

There's something unrealistic about
people who want reality in their fiction.

T-That's good. I really would like
to wear a more normal outfit!

So your normal clothes are going
to be the bunny girl outfit!

W-W-W-Why!?

Because that's
all I brought.

And besides, there'd be nothing showy
on the screen if she wore normal clothes.

- Well...
- Wait!

I just thought
of something!

Mikuru is normally a bunny girl who brings
in customers for the shopping strip stores.

But when she senses danger,
she transforms!

That's when she becomes
a battling waitress!

What do you think?
Perfect, right?

What happened to the reality
you mentioned before?

All right,
let's get going.

Ow ow ow ow...

Thank you for all
the hard work...

So what was all that
ad libbing about?

Here.

So it was you
that took it.

Laser.

Hey, Nagato.

I've always noticed that you keep your
explanations to the bare minimum.

How about you speak for
at least ten seconds?

A coherent, narrow beam of light
invisible to the human eye.

I see. A coherent,
narrow beam... invisible...

Sorry, I'm even more
confused now.

- A laser?
- Yes.

That's surprising.
May I?

It looks like a normal
contact to me.

What do you mean?

Would you show me
your right palm?

Oh, not you.
I mean Miss Nagato.

It broke through
my shield.

Don't be so blasé when you say that.
Just looking at it hurts.

Incredibly strong.
I had to act fast.

Did the beam come from
Miss Asahina's left eye?

Correct.

Just "correct"!?

It will be repaired soon.

Oh, good grief.

Did Miss Asahina actually
sh**t a beam from her eye?

It's not a particle acceleration cannon.
It's cohesive light.

Whatever.

Laser, maser, marker-light FAHP,
they're all the same to normal people.

The problem remains the fact that
Miss Asahina fired off a heat ray.

Not a heat ray.
A photon laser.

I told you, we don't need
the scientific details.

Is this an ability that Miss Asahina
has always possessed?

No. Currently, Mikuru Asahina
is a normal human being.

She is not any different
than anyone else.

Could there be some sort of
mechanism in that contact?

No. It's a simple
cosmetic accessory.

Which means...

If Nagato hadn't protected me, the laser
beam that sh*t out of Miss Asahina's eye

would have probably pierced the video
camera's lens, gone through my eye,

roasted various other bits, and then
come out the back of my head.

This was
Miss Suzumiya's doing.

Because she wanted there
to be a Mikuru Beam,

reality changed so
that there was one.

Wait a second.

That contact lens hasn't had
any magic cast on it, right?

Even if Haruhi wished for it, why did
a k*ller laser beam come out of it?

Miss Suzumiya doesn't need magic
or strange scientific technology.

All she needs to do is think
something exists, and it will.

But there's no way she actually thinks that
a beam would come sh**ting out of it.

That's true.

We all know that Miss Suzumiya
possesses common sense.

However, it's also true that
she doesn't subscribe

to the world's
sensibilities, either.

There's probably some sort of
special situation going on.

That's...
Oh, and she's back.

We'll continue this
discussion later...

How long are you going to complain?
Act more like an actress!

A willingness to strip will put you on
the fast track to the blue ribbon!

Okay, sorry to
keep you waiting!

Zoom in!

Confirmation completed. It's definitely
the Miss Asahina I know.

What are you doing?

You mustn't film anything
unless I tell you to.

I know that. Here's your proof - I didn't
hit the record button.

I was just looking
at her.

Okay, everyone! Eyes here!
And get ready.

After that, what I filmed was video
of what was supposed to be

Miss Asahina's
day-to-day activities.

What kind of day-to-day life
is she supposed to have?

And after pulling Miss Asahina
this way and that...

Having a mountain in the background
just doesn't work.

Let's go to town.

Oh .

Miss Asahina wore her bunny girl
outfit until the sun set.

The only thing she really did was
walk around in that outfit.

The idea of "permission to sh**t"
doesn't exist in Haruhi's mind,

so Haruhi was "free" to just sh**t
whatever and wherever she wanted to.

This is a dignified freedom, in the same
vein as the papal freedom of action

practiced in the time of
Pope Innocence III.

Or so I'm told.

The definition of "free"
is being misunderstood.

I guess this works
for today.

What a long day. Tomorrow's Sunday,
and I'd like to spend it relaxing.

Okay, see you tomorrow.

We'll be meeting up at the
same time and place.

What a carefree girl.

I hope she's going to give us
some time to change, at least.

What's that? You've got
to get the filming done!

We don't have the time
to take things slow!

You can relax as much as you want
once the school festival is over.

Until then, consider your calendar
to be free of days off!

Okay, see you tomorrow!

We're going to complete this movie,
no matter what.

No. As long as I'm the director,
its completion is guaranteed!

Everything else hinges
on your hard work.

Be on time.

Anyone that's late will be lynched
and get the death penalty!

I'll tell Miss Asahina.

Tell her what?

About the laser. If she doesn't
change the color of her eye,

then a weird laser beam
won't come out of it.

Perhaps we should take
a precaution, just in case.

I'm sure that
she'll cooperate.

After all, a beam would
be dangerous.

Man, but Nagato just
keeps saving my life.

Hey, Kyon. This isn't
what we talked about.

Where's the lovely
Miss Asahina?

I came here because you said
that she'd come and meet me.

Well, she's not here.
I came for the eye candy.

What are you talking about?
You're the hero!
Well, she's not here.
I came for the eye candy.

What are you talking about?
You're the hero!

What are you talking about?
You're the hero!
So what about it?

So what about it?

30% of this movie
is riding on you!
So what about it?

30% of this movie
is riding on you!

All I can see is Suzumiya's
angry face.

70% is on me and my genius,
of course... That doesn't matter!
All I can see is Suzumiya's
angry face.

This is a scam!

It's a scam, so just die. Just gaze
at Nagato or something.

But you know, that actually looks
pretty good on Miss Nagato.

Kyon! What's up
with Mikuru?

Ohh, if you keep dawdling like that,
we'll never get anywhere!

Ohh, if you keep dawdling like that,
we'll never get anywhere!
It looks like Miss Tsuruya's been
pulled into being an extra, too.

What!? Get your butt
over here already!

What!? Get your butt
over here already!
So, what are we doing?

What!? Get your butt
over here already!

What!? Get your butt
over here already!
I came because they told me to
if I wasn't doing anything.

I came because they told me to
if I wasn't doing anything.

How do you read that, the words written
on Miss Suzumiya's armband?

What are you doing
with that handy-cam?

What's with Yuki's outfit?

Wow, Koizumi!
You're looking hot today, as usual.

What a restless person.

What was that?
Your stomach hurts?

Dummy! That only works
through elementary school!

Come here, now!
You have thirty seconds!

And so it seems that Miss Asahina has
a sudden case of shut-in syndrome.

I'm going to go get her.
Let me see the bag.

I can understand how
Miss Asahina feels.

After all, it feels like she might end up
as a real transforming hero at this rate.

A laser beam is a bit
too much, though.

But I think we'll be able to avoid
any strange beams coming out.

How?

Miss Nagato's cooperated
with us.

What did you do
to Miss Asahina?

She just removed her ability
to sh**t lasers.

I'm not really sure, either.

Unlike the other TFEIs terminals,
Miss Nagato doesn't speak very much.

What's a TFEI?

It's an acronym that my organization
just assigned to them.

You don't need to know
what it stands for.

But I get the feeling that Miss Nagato
is unusual, even amongst "them".

Oh, about that thing earlier.

On the way back from the convenience
store one night, a taxi passed me.

Available Car

Available Car
And I glanced at its
"available car" light,

And I glanced at its
"available car" light,

but it looked like
"beloved car" to me.

That's surprising.

But before I could take another
look at it, it drove off.

And that's when I realized that maybe
what I'm missing in my life is love.

Maybe it really did have "beloved car"
written on the light.

I'm sure it was
a private taxi.

I never thought we'd be relying
on these two idiots.

You're not going to get away
with pretending to be sick.

We're going to start
filming right away!

Heya, Mikuru!
Wow, that's really sexy!

I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, I don't mind.

Heya, Miss Suzumiya!

I'm sorry about yesterday.

It looks like I ended up f*ring off
a laser w*apon without realizing it.

Oh no, I wasn't hurt,
after all.

I was bitten.

- By what?
- By Miss Nagato.

She said she injected some
nanomachines or something into me...

But it looks like nothing will be
coming out of my eye anymore.

Thank goodness.

What did she inject
into you?

Last night, she and Koizumi
came to my house together.

What are you two
whispering about?

You're so cute, Mikuru.
I'd love to keep you as a pet!

Don't look. You'll take away
some of her cuteness.

Okay, I've decided where
we're sh**ting next!

There's a big lake near
where Koizumi lives.

Let's head there
to sh**t for now.

Filming Crew

Sora kara ochite kitanda
It fell from the sky

Subete no negai wo nosete
With all of the wishes
that were made upon it

Hitotsu no hoshi niwa
chotto omokatta kana
Maybe it was a little too heavy
for a single star

Yappari nanika henda yo
Something just doesn't
seem right

Kokoro no kimi ga kieta
The image of you in my mind
has vanished

Tashika ni oboeteru tte
ieruno kai?
Can I say that I
remember you clearly?

Tomare!
Stop!

Kako wa jibun no mono
The past belongs to me

Touzen daretomo torikaetakunai
Of course I don't want to trade it
with anyone else

Nazenara
That's because

Basudei datta watashitachi niwa
It was my birthday,
and when we saw each other

Deai ga umareta toki ni
We could see the first dream

Hajimete no yume ga mieru
That we had
when we were born

Doushiyouka tte
nayanda koto mo
Worrying about
"what do I do?"

Ima omoeba waraeru hodo
datta yo ne
Is laughable when I
think about it now

Mou wasureteta
I've already forgotten it

Kimi wo sagasou
Let's search for you