01x06 - The Sleepwalker

[bunniefuu]

Just a minute.

Trixie!

Alice, Alice, where's Ralph?

What is it?

My Ed's at it again!

Oh, no! Yes!

Ralph... Ralph hurry!

Hurry up!

What is it? What?

What?

Ralph, Ralph,
Ralph, my Ed's gone.

He's walking in his sleep again.

Is that what all the
excitement's about?

Your Ed's gone again?

He's walking in his sleep again?

Seems to me that those words
are getting awful familiar to me.

I heard them last night,

I heard them the night before,

and I heard them
the night before that.

Well, I'm not going
to do anything about it!

Oh, please, Ralph.
I'm terribly worried.

I just saw Ed out
on the fire escape.

He's going up to the roof!

Ralph, you've
got to go after him.

Why do I have to go after him?

What, to keep him
from hurting himself

so I can chase him over
the roof tomorrow night?

I'm done!

There, there he is.

He's on the roof of
McCloskey's building.

Ralph, you have to do something.

If anything happened to
Ed, you would hate yourself.

Not for long. I have a
very forgiving nature.

Please... please, Ralph!

Oh...

Hey you, Norton!

Get off that roof!

Ralph, don't do that.

Don't you know it's dangerous

to disturb a sleepwalker?

Ralph, Ralph, is he still there?

Oh...

Yes, he's still there.

He's standing on a ledge now.

And what do you think
he's doing on the ledge?

He's eating a banana!

Please, please
go bring him back.

Why does this always
have to happen to me?

Eight million people
are in New York City,

and I got to get mixed
up with a human fly!

A human fly that eats bananas!

Alice, Alice, I just
can't bear to look!

What's he doing now?

Well, he's starting
to do something.

Huh? What?

What's he going to do?

He's peeling a banana.

Ralph's going after him.

He fell. Ed fell?

No, Ralph.

He slipped on the banana peel.

Oh, it's all right.

He's... he's gotten up
and he's going after Ed.

He's got hold of
him now, Trix, and...

he's leading him
down our fire escape.

And he's taking him
right into your window.

Oh, boy, Trixie.

Listen, you know something...
This is very serious.

Ed should see a doctor.

He did. He went to the doctor

at the Department
of Sanitation today.

The doctor told Ed that
he walks in his sleep

'cause he's nervous and upset.

He told Ed to take
two weeks sick leave.

Well, what'd he have for dinner?

Maybe it's something he eats.

Oh, it couldn't be
anything he eats.

Tonight he ate what he
eats every Wednesday night:

chicken chow mein
with potato pancakes.

It can't be that. No.

Ralph, Ralph,
Ralph, is he all right?

Is he all right?
Is he all right?

Goes up a fire escape,
across two roofs,

stands on a ledge,
comes down a fire escape,

in his window, into his bedroom,

and he didn't lose
a wink of sleep!

Oh, thanks, Ralph.

Boy, I better go up there.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute. Huh?

Before you go anyplace... What?

Here, take these.

What... wh... tacks?

What are you
giving me tacks for?

Just take the tacks

and sprinkle them
around the floor.

That'll put an end
to his sleepwalking.

Also put a few
on the fire escape.

Oh, all right. Thanks.

How about that? How about that?

He doesn't lose a wink of sleep,

but I get awakened in
the middle of the night!

Will you please keep
your voice down, Ralph?

I will not keep my voice down!

You know how long
it's going to take me

to go back to sleep?

Two hours, Alice!

At least two hours!

Ralph, you got to
be a little patient.

You know, Ed is sick.

What do you mean, sick?
He never had it so good.

He eats, sleeps and
exercises, all at the same time.

Well, I'm finished, Alice.

This is it.

I'm not going to chase
him off any more roofs.

I'm not going through
any alleys after him.

This is it. I'm through,
done, finished, completed.

Ralph, I know how you feel.

But, after all, somebody's
got to go with Ed

when he starts to
walk in his sleep.

Yeah, well, it's
not going to be me

'cause I'm going to
be in there sleeping.

If he needs somebody
to go with him,

let him hire
another sleepwalker.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

What's going on down here?

Haven't you got a
little consideration

with all your yelling
and screaming?

You woke me up
out of a sound sleep.

Geez!

I woke him out of a sound sleep!

I woke him out...

I think I'll have
a glass of milk

before I go to bed,
Ralph. You want some?

Yeah, I'll have one, honey.

Okay, hon.

What are you doing, Ralph?

Crossword puzzle.

Six-letter word for hunting dog.

How about "setter"?

What did you tell me for?

I would have got it, Alice.

Here, Ralph, drink your milk

and we'll go to bed.

What's the sense
in going to bed?

As soon as we get sound asleep,

that nut upstairs will
start sleepwalking again.

Well, maybe not tonight, Ralph.

Ed saw the company
doctor again today, you know.

And the doctor
gave him something

to help his sleepwalking.

Yeah? What'd they give
him, a pair of roller skates?

No, Ralph. They gave
him some kind of a tonic.

You know, to calm his nerves.

You know, the doctor says
that all this sleepwalking

is caused by nervousness.

Oh, that's a lot of malarkey!

Sleepwalking isn't
caused by nervousness.

Well, how would you know?

How would I know?

I happen to be a bus driver.

And if nervousness
caused sleepwalking,

I'd be going through
Australia right now!

Well, whatever it is, Ralph,

I just wish Ed would
go to the hospital

like his doctor wants him to.

Well, that shows you
how stupid Norton is.

If he had any brains,

he'd go to the hospital
like the doctor said.

He can't afford it!

Oh.

Well, look, Alice,

why don't we lend
him some money?

Us?

Yes, us.

We got money in
the bank, haven't we?

Yes, we have money in the bank.

$3.31.

$3.31?

Well, what do you do
with all the money, Alice?

I put it in the bank.

Well, anyway, even if that
tonic doesn't, you know,

calm his nerves down,

Trixie's got a very
good idea to make sure.

She's going to tie a
bell around his wrist,

so if he does get up,
the bell will wake her up

and she can catch
him before he gets out.

Well, she should
have listened to me

and put the tacks on the floor.

Well... Oh, no! No, sir!

I'm not going!

Oh, Ralph, I didn't
come down for that.

Ed didn't go out,
he's fast asleep.

At least he was a
minute ago when I left.

There, you see, Ralph?

You can relax now.

What do you mean,
relax? He's sound asleep.

The only time we can relax
is when he's wide awake.

Oh, Alice, I'm at
the end of my rope.

I haven't slept
for three nights,

but I don't dare go to bed.

I'm so tired, that
if I fell asleep

I'd never hear Ed if he woke up.

Well, I thought you were
going to tie a bell on his wrist.

Well, I did, but I just
can't trust myself.

Once my head hits that
pillow, nothing will wake me up.

I'd just be dead to the world.

Gee, Trixie, I feel terrible.

I wish there was something
I could do to help you.

I feel the same way, Trix.

If you got any ideas,
I'd be glad to help you.

Ralph, I got an idea.

Why doesn't Trixie
stay down here,

and you go up and
stay with Norton?

I was asking her if
she had any ideas!

You asked her what
you could do to help.

Now, let's face it, Ralph,

Trixie hasn't had any
sleep in three nights!

If she doesn't get
some rest soon,

she's just going to
waste away to nothing.

She didn't have any
sleep in three nights?

How about me?

I haven't slept in three nights!

She'll waste away... don't
you care if I waste away?

Yes, I care, Ralph.

But you wouldn't waste away

if you stayed
awake for nine years.

How would you like to waste
away on the moon, huh?

Ralph... one way or the other,

you're not going
to get any sleep,

so you might just as well
go up and stay with Norton

and let Trixie stay here.

Is that so?

Well, I am not going up there!

Well, I guess I'll have to go.

What's the night tonight?

Oh, yes, Thursday night.

This is the night he
takes me through a tour

of the Koskeosko Street sewer.

Norton. What?

Did you use my toothbrush?

I don't know.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

Well, you got a red toothbrush

and I got a red toothbrush.

And they was
laying side by side,

and I didn't know
which was which,

so I just went eenie
meenie minie mo.

Is this Mo?

That's Mo, all right.

Well, for your information,

Mo happens to be my toothbrush.

Oh, I was wondering why

there was something
familiar about Minie.

Hey, Ralph, you want an apple?

No.

How about a banana?

I don't want any banana.

How about a nice kumquat?

Norton, I don't want
any fruit of any kind.

I got some popcorn.

Will you leave me alone?

I don't want anything.

Sheesh, what a grouch!

All right, what do
you say we turn in

and get a good night's sleep?

Just a moment, don't move.

Give me your wrist.

What are you trying...
Give me your wrist!

Trixie tried, it didn't work.

I don't care what Trixie did.

I happen to be a
very light sleeper.

You move one muscle,

and I'll know that
something's going on.

Okay. Good night.

Oh, wait a minute.

Turn around.

Why?

I want you to turn around

because I'm going
to lock the door.

Then I'm going to take the key

and I'm going to hide
it, where you can't find it.

Ralph, I got to hand it to you,

in between those
two fat little ears

is a great thinking apparatus.

Shut up and turn around!

All right, Norton,
let's get to bed.

Good night.

Uh... Do you
mind if I just sort of

thumb through a
magazine a little bit?

It sort of relaxes me.

I don't care what you do,

just as long as you
don't disturb me.

I got to get some sleep.

Stop that!

Whew!

Norton!

Where are you going?

Don't worry, will you, Ralph?

I'm not sleepwalking.

I was just going to
open the window there

and get a little fresh air.

Never mind the window,
it'll do you no good.

I nailed it tight shut

so you can't get out of it.

Oh, boy, I got to
hand it to you, Ralph.

The wheels are turning
up there tonight, boy.

You got the window
nailed shut so I can't get out.

You locked the door
and hid the key up there

in the top bureau
drawer so I wouldn't find it.

Hey!

How did you know that I
hid the key in the bureau?

Simple deduction.

What, you think I read
d*ck Tracy for nothing?

To pass the time of day?

All right, wisenheimer.

I am now going to put the key

where even if you
know where it is,

you won't be able to get it...

Right under my pillow.

Now you will have
to lift me up bodily

in order to get at the key.

Got to hand it to you...

You finally come
up with something

even d*ck Tracy couldn't handle.

Shut up and go to sleep.

Ralph, are you sure you
don't want a kumquat?

Will you go to sleep!

Come on, Alice! I'm not snoring!

Will you stop
pacing and sit down?

You've had me
up all night, Norton.

The doc will be here any minute.

What'd you call the doctor for?

All I got is a little
bump on the head.

I didn't call the doctor

on account of the
bump on your head,

I called the doctor

on account of the
bump in your head.

I got the same doctor
who took care of you

down at the
Department of Sanitation.

How did you get that
bump on your head?

Well, being asleep, I
don't really remember.

I... you know that ladder

that leads up to
McCloskey's fire escape?

You know, the one you
have to jump up to pull down?

Yeah.

I think it comes down without
jumping up and pulling it.

That's the doctor.
Look, get in bed.

I told him I'd keep you
quiet until he got here.

Oh, how are you, Doctor?

How do you do?

I'm great. Come in.
Thank you very much.

Right in here. Yes, thank you.

Uh... Doc, you got
to do something.

He almost k*lled
himself last night.

Well, I will do what
I can, Mr. Kramden.

But as I told Mr. Norton,

he really belongs in a hospital

where I can keep
him under observation,

and test him under
the proper conditions.

Yeah, but he can't
afford to go to a hospital.

You got to do
something for him here.

Well, we will see,
we will see, eh?

Somnambulism, Mr. Kramden,

has its roots in a psychosis.

In most cases,
induced by a trauma.

Now, the obvious therapy

is the removal of
the mental block

from the patient's
subconscious mind.

You follow me?

Not exactly, but I know
when you said mental block

it had something
to do with Norton.

Now, I am inclined to believe

that when Mr. Norton
walks in his sleep,

he is searching for something.

Something in the distant past,

something perhaps he
does not remember himself.

But do not worry.

I will do my best
to help him, eh?

Oh.

Well, uh... what
are you going to do?

I am going to
administer Pentothal.

Perhaps you have heard of it.

It is sometimes
called the truth serum.

Now, when Mr. Norton is asleep,

the mental block to
his subconscious mind

will be cleared,

and perhaps then we can find out

what it is he is searching for.

Oh, I get it, Doc.

You find out what
he's searching for,

then after you find that out,

you get him what he's
been searching for,

and then he doesn't
sleepwalk anymore.

Exactly. Excuse me, Mr. Kramden.

Boy, medicine is remarkable.

Now, uh, Mr. Norton, I'm
going to give you this injection.

It will not hurt,
so just relax, eh?

I-I-I don't want an injection!

It's going to hurt, Ralph.

Will you stop being a baby!

Let him give you an injection!

They give it to little kids
and nothing happens to them!

Mr. Kramden?

Mr. Kramden, are you all right?

Are you all right?

All right, step to the rear!

All right, steady
now, Mr. Kramden.

Steady now.

What happened?

You fainted.

Oh. Now, excuse me, please.

Mr. Norton, I would like for you
to count backwards from 100.

100... 99... 98...
97... 96... Three.

Boy, that's strong stuff
you're using there. Lulu.

Lulu!

What'd he say?

Uh, I do not know, but he
is now under completely.

Uh, Mr. Norton...

something is troubling you.

What is it?

Did something hurt you?

Did you suffer some
grave disappointment?

Yeah, a grave disappointment.

Uh, when did that happen?

When I was 21 years old.

I wanted to go to college.

And what happened?

They wouldn't let me.

They said I had to finish
grammar school first.

Well, you're wasting
your time, Doc.

That mental block's
made out of cement.

Lulu.

Lulu.

Lulu, Lulu...

Tell us about Lulu, Mr. Norton.

Was she a childhood sweetheart?

A childhood sweetheart.

Yes? Lulu.

Well, wh-what
happened with this...

What happened with Lulu?

I lost her at Coney Island.

How did you lose her?

We was going through
the Tunnel of Love

and she jumped out of the boat

and went after a cocker spaniel.

Lulu was the best
dog I ever had.

A dog?

A dog... that's it, Doc!

That's what he's searching for:

the dog he lost.

All we have to do
is get him a dog

and that's the end
of his sleepwalking.

No, no, we must not jump
to conclusions, Mr. Kramden.

That might only be
part of the dilemma.

In order to find out...

In order to be certain
what his trouble is,

I will have to
run further tests.

Well, how long is
that going to take?

Oh, two, three months.

Two or three months?

I can't last that long!

Look, I know Norton.
If he does anything,

he does it for a dumb reason.

And he's sleepwalking
for a dumb reason.

Now, all we have to
do is get him the dog,

and that'll settle
the whole thing.

But, Mr. Kramden, we do
not have sufficient proof.

Lulu!

That is enough proof for me.

I'm getting him a dog.

Get your stuff and
we'll get out of here.

Yes, Mr. Kramden, we go. Yes.

Come back.

Come back, little Lulu!

Well?

Well, 12:00 and all is well.

I guess that little
scheme of mine

about getting him
the dog, worked out.

Boy, I hope so, Ralph.

You hope so?

You sound just
like that psychiatrist.

The truth was right
in front of his nose.

Right in front of his nose
and he couldn't tell it.

You know what he wanted to do?

He wanted to study
Norton for three months.

Three months he wanted
to hang around Norton.

You know what would
have happened to the doctor

if he had hung around
Norton for three months?

He would have been
going, "Lulu, Lulu!"

Three months.

Alice, I've got to go down
to the grocery for some eggs,

but I just had to
stop by and tell you.

Ralph, that was a
wonderful idea you had!

Norton's sleeping like a baby

with Lulu II
cradled in his arms.

What'd I tell you, Alice?

You know I should never
have been a bus driver,

I should have been a doctor.

And it's such a cute dog, Ralph.

Ed just loves it.

I got to go for the eggs,
but thanks again, Ralph.

Good night, Alice.
Good night, Trix.

You know, uh...
she's not a bad lady.

That ends Mr. Norton's
sleepwalking career.

And now begins the
career of Kramden's sleep.

I am now going to celebrate
with a glass of warm milk,

then I am going in
there, and hit the sack.

All right, sweetie.

I'll get it for you.

Ooh! That reminds me...
I would have forgotten

to put the milk bottle out

for the milkman in the morning.

Lulu!

Lulu-lu-lu-lu!