02x20 - Deep Freeze

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Batman". Aired: January 12, 1966 – March 14, 1968.*
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Series follows on Batman and Robin as they defend Gotham City from its various criminals.
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02x20 - Deep Freeze

Post by bunniefuu »

We have already seen a
beauty queen kidnapped.

And an indoor blizzard.

Only one man could
keep a cool that cool.

While the Dynamic
Duo dynamite a door.

The iceman cometh
with a delivery of what?

Green ice? Bribe money?

Anyway, that's what
the papers seem to feel.

But Bruce Wayne still had
the social responsibilities...

of any average millionaire.

Though there was a surprise
guest at his garden reception.

Several surprising
guests, in fact.

And a freezing
finale to the affair.

So back to the capes and cowls.

And a stop at the
Frosty Freezies Factory...

where Robin tangled
with a freeze g*n.

And the Dynamic Duo found themselves
with a choice of very frosty flavors.

Fooled, framed and frozen.

Frosty Freezies
instead of crime-fighters.

What now? What next?

We have been in some pretty tight fixes, but I
don't see how we're gonna get out of this one.

Yes, this is quite a
predicament, old chum.

But remember, in the
end, right always triumphs.

If it does, I'm going to spend the
rest of my life in a Turkish bath.

A Turkish bath.

You've hit it, Robin.

The steam in the pipes of most
Turkish baths is superheated moisture.

Remove the heat, and
the moisture turns to frost.

Do you feel anything
around your feet?

Yeah, chilblains.

No, no, something mechanical.

Some kind of valve or a blower.

Something that might inject
the flavoring or the coloring...

or the freezing components.

I don't know, Batman.

I think there's a little
spigot or something.

In mine too.

It might be the
heat exhaust valve.

If we can just get our feet to
do the work for our fingers...

and recycle the exhaust in the
heating unit of the containers...

we might reverse the
process of refrigeration...

and the heat transfer
will melt our way out.

Too bad, too bad.

Perhaps I shouldn't have
disposed of Batman and Robin.

At least not so soon.

Then I could have toyed
with them a little longer...

and destroyed their saintly
image slower but more effective.

I have an idea.

Chill, go and get me
the instant camera.

After I'm through with this little
business, I'm going to execute my plan...

for the greatest ice
crime in history...

that will destroy all of
Gotham City in a few minutes.

And there will be no
Batman and Robin to stop me.

And then, my
darling, Miss Iceland...

your temperature will be
down to my temperature...

and you will become Mrs. Freeze.

Never.

Not if I live to be a
hundred below zero.

I'll never marry you.

Stubborn but beautiful.

This plan is going to be
something really wild, boys.

Wild.

That wild plan better
include Batman and Robin...

for even now a well
thawed-out Dynamic Duo...

race to the Batcave
to plot their next move.

An obvious hoax.

Doctoring up the picture by
superimposing his watch on my wrist.

Holy distortion.

Most unsporting of
Mr. Freeze, I must say.

Yeah, sure makes
you look bad, Batman.

Although the newspaper clearly
indicated that this photograph...

came from an anonymous source...

and that quite possibly
it might be a fake...

the great majority of the people will only
look at the photograph and not read the text.

An unfortunate failing
of the masses, sir.

What do we do now?

The only thing we can do, Robin.

Hang up our capes and cowls.

Oh, no, sir, not that.

I'm afraid so, Alfred.

With all this
adverse publicity...

it might be well to let the
people think what they will...

that we've taken
a runout powder.

That way, maybe we can lull Mr. Freeze
into a false sense of security...

make him overplay his hand.

After all, I'm sure he believes
that we're Frosty Freezies by now.

You were most ingenious
in preventing that, sir.

Thank you, Alfred. But it
will take more ingenuity...

to get us back in the good graces
of the good people of Gotham City.

Aunt Harriet asked us to
go into the city on an errand...

as Bruce Wayne and
d*ck Grayson, remember?

Mm.

Nellie, gentlemen, please,
please, one at a time.

Are you going to prefer
bribery charges against them...

or is the Dynamic Duo
exempt from the law?

Nellie, I resent that innuendo.

Nobody is exempt from the law. Batman would
be the first to say so if he were here.

But he isn't, commissioner...

nor has he shown his masked
face around Gotham City...

since that grandstand
play at Wayne Manor.

Now, I'm sorry, I simply don't
have any more time. Chief.

No, you don't have time.

At least not wristwatch time.

Maybe you'd better ask
Batman the time of day.

- Isn't he the one wearing your watch?
- All right. Nellie, and the rest of you...

back to your typewriters to peck
out more of your slanted stories.

Mother Machree.

But it's a sad state of affairs in Gotham
City when journalism stoops so low.

Too bad. The truth really
hit a nerve root, hasn't it?

Out.

What do you think, commissioner?

I honestly don't know
what to think, Chief O'Hara.

But I do fear for
Batman's heroic image.

I have a feeling the terrible
tide of adverse public opinion...

may soon engulf
our Caped Crusader.

Boo, Batman.

Gosh, Bruce, did you hear that?

Nothing has ever cut
me so deeply to the quick.

No blow ever struck
by any arch-villain...

has ever hurt me so acutely...

as that little boy's boo.

One billion dollars. One
billion dollars, they'll pay me.

And nobody can stop it, especially
not Batman and Robin, eh?

By the way, why don't the newspapers
mention anything about their sad end...

at the Frosty Freezies Factory?

Maybe nobody has found them yet.

Of course, Chill.

And by the time they find them,
they'll make Freezies for Goliath.

You can't get away with it.

There is still the law.

Good will triumph.

Shh. Don't get excited,
darling, Miss Iceland.

I don't want your temperature
to rise even a few degrees.

One billion dollars.

The citizens of Gotham
City will pay me...

or I will bury all of them
under one huge cake of ice...

exactly like a
million years ago.

Wild.

Wild. Utterly wild.

Preposterous.

Utterly and fantastically
preposterous.

Mr. Freeze has finally gone
too far, demanding $1 billion...

by threatening to completely
cover Gotham City with ice.

In August?

August or December...

I wouldn't take Mr. Freeze's
thr*at too lightly, commissioner.

With all due
respect, Mr. Wayne...

you don't think that Mr. Freeze
could really do such a thing.

I mean, I think he would do it if he
could, but I don't think he can, can he?

- Don't underestimate his power, Chief O'Hara.
- Look what he did the other night at the party...

when he instantly
froze us in the pool.

But could he freeze a whole
metropolis the size of Gotham City?

May I see his blackmail
note, commissioner?

Uh, yeah, surely.

"One billion dollars by
high noon tomorrow or..."

Et cetera, et cetera.

"And if you do not believe me,
try turning on your water faucets...

at 2:00 this afternoon."

- Two o'clock?
- Two o'clock.

Beg your pardon, chief, but the switchboard
is lit up like a Christmas tree.

- Everybody is complaining.
- About what, sergeant?

The water, sir.

Nobody can get any
water through their faucet.

- Did you check with the water department?
- Yes, sir.

But if you don't
mind me saying so...

I think they must be nipping a
bit over there at the waterworks.

- Do you know what they said?
- The hottest day of the year...

and they said the water reservoir
in Gotham City Park is frozen solid...

which it never has been before,
even on the coldest day of the year.

The newsmen learned of the
diabolical scheme of Mr. Freeze...

to completely cover
Gotham City with ice...

unless $1 billion is paid to
him before high noon tomorrow.

Since the announcement
less than two hours ago...

panic has hit the streets.

Motorists have jammed the
highways leading out of Gotham City.

Traffic through the Gotham City
Tunnel is blocked for three miles.

This afternoon, everything
is complete chaos.

Terror reigns...

With $1 billion, I'm
going to go to Switzerland.

And I will take you, darling,
Miss Iceland, with me as my bride.

I wouldn't marry
you for $10 billion.

You wouldn't?

No wonder you haven't
changed your mind.

This thing is not working
as well as it should.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

In the morning...

I will freeze your
beautiful body solid.

Oh!

You diabolical beast.

Wild.

Panic is rampant throughout
the long and terrible night.

Reports have come in of
hysterical children everywhere.

Awakening and screaming:

"Mama, Mama, Mama, don't
let the ice cover me, please."

We've been up all
night listening to this.

Aunt Harriet, surely you
and Alfred need some sleep.

Of course, Bruce, we all do.

I think d*ck and I
will take a little walk...

get some of the frozen
cobwebs out of our brain.

- Good idea, Bruce.
- Let's go, d*ck.

Poor Bruce.

That horrible Mr. Freeze's
threats have upset him greatly.

Heaven knows what
will happen today.

Why don't you go up
to your room, madam?

Thank you, Alfred.

Another blazing
day in Gotham City...

with our citizens knowing
only too well that by noon...

they may be freezing to
death in subzero temperatures...

unless, of course,
city officials can raise...

Why turn them off?

I know the end of that sentence
by heart. "One billion dollars."

But it's impossible.

Even if we were to mortgage every public
building, every city-owned utility...

we couldn't get a loan for that amount
of money in such a short space of time.

Do you suppose there's a possibility
Mr. Freeze could be bluffing?

Well, what would he hope to gain by
burying Gotham City under all that ice?

Bluffing, never.

As for what he
could gain, revenge.

Revenge for being forced
to live away from society.

Alone in his own torturous
world of subzero temperature.

What can we do, commissioner?

Do?

I honestly don't
know, Mayor Linseed.

If only...

Go ahead, commissioner.

Call Batman and Robin.

If Gotham City ever needed
them, she needs them now.

I never thought it would happen.

But like so many others, I...

I'm afraid I've lost faith.

Atomic batteries to power.

- Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.

Why the change of heart, Batman?

Tarnished reputations
are unfortunate, Robin.

We can live with those. However, a thr*at
to all of Gotham City is something else.

He's in that cold storage plant.

He and his stooges made an appearance at the
Frosty Freezies Factory around the corner.

- Then we go?
- We go.

This should put a
crank in his channel.

What's the matter?

First the commentator said
the stock market went kaput...

and now the TV set went kaput.

- Must be the antenna went on the blink.
- Frosty, go and fix it.

How else would I know whether I get the billion
dollars or I have to destroy Gotham City?

That should straighten
your antennae.

Mr. Freeze, I believe.

Batman. But you were supposed to
be a famous Frosty Freezie by now.

Exactly what we
wanted you to believe.

Robin. MR. FREEZE: Wait.

Look there.

Batman.

Why, you beast.

You sinful beast.

You're inhuman.
An absolute demon.

Inhuman? Demon? Wild.

Why don't you join me
in my frozen frigid world?

Perhaps you would like to be
our best icemen at the wedding.

You and Robin.

Boys.

Wild. Simply wild.

Holy chicken coop.

And a nice cold chicken
coop, Boy Wonder.

I've just one telephone call to make
and then I'll finish you off forever.

It was a good idea of yours to
wear our Bat-thermal underwear.

I think your idea is the
one that will save us, Robin.

Commissioner Gordon speaking.

This is Mr. Freeze speaking.

It's he.

Are you listening?

Yes, we're listening.
What's your proposition?

You know my proposition. One billion dollars
by noon or you'll freeze to death. Simple.

Mr. Freeze, hear me out.

We can't raise $1 billion in such
a short time, do you understand?

We can't get that
much money by noon.

You have exactly
26 minutes, that's all.

Mr. Freeze, give us more
time. We need more time.

Time for what?

To wait for Batman perhaps?

If you are waiting for the
Dynamic Duo, forget it.

They're my prisoners
here in my hideout.

And soon they'll be
icemen. Real icemen.

One billion dollars
in 26 minutes.

Gentlemen, I'm
afraid all is lost.

Well, gentlemen, the
expression is, I believe:

"Time for the k*ll. Curtains
for the Caped Crusaders."

What happened?

You're supposed to be frozen.

We took the precaution of processing
our crime-fighting costumes...

with a special
Bat-Anti-Freeze-Activating solution.

And rubbed some on
the rest of our bodies.

And so it's curtains for
you, Mr. Freeze, not for us.

Not as long as
you're in that cage.

We brought along
another small surprise.

We anticipated trouble here.

And came prepared.

So you have no
chance of outwitting us...

- and even less of glaciating Gotham City.
- Is that so?

No.

That should chill
their goose for a while.

Now to get that young
lady out of her ice coffin.

- How?
- By a simple method...

which has become somewhat
old-fashioned: an ice pick.

Oh, Batman, what can
I ever do to thank you?

Thank the judges of the Miss
Galaxy Beauty Contest, Miss Iceland.

They agreed to postpone the
final event until you were found.

How wonderful.

- I'm dying.
- Mr. Freeze.

Go warm yourself.

My...

My freeze collar.

- I'm dying.
- Help me, Robin.

I'm dying.

My freeze collar.

I am dying. I'm dying.

This should keep you alive, Mr. Freeze,
until the police find your ice neckpiece.

Well, that's right, Warden Crichton. You see,
Mr. Freeze is not a normal average prisoner.

He must, at all times, wear his
Jet-freeze collar in order to stay alive.

Anything you can do to lower the
temperature of his cell would be a help.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Your consideration is admirable,
Batman, but Mr. Freeze hardly deserves it.

Hmph. Not that icy-hearted
enemy of the people.

A brother's sufferings claim
a brother's pity, gentlemen.

- Holy epigrams.
- No, Robin.

Truisms. No man
is really all bad.

Now, gentlemen, I
suggest we take a break.

We have tickets for tonight's finals in
the Gotham City Miss Galaxy Contest.

Robin is a little young
for this sort of thing but...

I'm not gonna be young all my
life, Batman, and besides, uh...

beauty contests are practically
an American institution.

You see, gentlemen, such
pure logic is indisputable.

Hello there, young man.

I knew you were up here, Batman.

I saw the Batmobile downstairs.

Let's take an elevator ride.

Gee, Batman,
you're the greatest.

False pride is indeed a
dangerous thing, Chief O'Hara.

False pride? We were
talking about beauty contests.

I'm talking about myself.

How hard it is to
admit when I'm wrong.

But I was wrong...

so wrong...

when I ever even imagined I
was losing my faith in Batman.

Next week, rematch.

Batman versus the Joker.
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