02x41 - Scat! Darn Catwoman

[bunniefuu]

When we last glimpsed
the masked man hunter...

he was about to be snapped
to death by a gigantic bat trap.

And a poor drugged Robin as
the unwitting tool of his destruction.

Batman's only hope is to
join forces with Catwoman...

but we know he won't do that.

Or will he?

The incredible answer
in just one moment.

Have you reached a verdict?

You win, Catwoman.

I'll become your partner.

But it's not that
I'm afraid to die.

I just don't want a m*rder rap
hanging over Robin's young head.

Robin, stop sawing.

You realize I'll have to
drug you with cataphrenic...

to make sure you're not faking.

Of course, Catwoman.

I wouldn't expect
you to believe me.

- There's no honor among thieves, Batman.
- I'll buy that.

Cataphrenic.

I...

Do you mind if I take a
Bat-pill first, Catwoman?

I feel a headache coming on.

I feel a little woozy.

Would you like
some chicken soup?

No, thank you. I
think a Bat-pill will do.

It's not that serious.

You men are all hypochondriacs.
All right, go ahead.

Now, do with me as you like.

Hey.

You're a pretty good looker.

You got some class, baby.

Who are you?

- I am your boss.
- Yeah.

Don't forget it. All right, boys, let's
go. We've got some money to count.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go.

Nine hundred
ninety-nine thousand...

ninety-eight,
ninety-nine, one million.

Hey, hey, that's a
neat haul, Cat baby.

Only the beginning.

A drop in the proverbial bucket.

We're gonna live it up.
We're gonna wail, doll.

Nope. This money goes toward
buying plans to the Gotham City Mint.

The Mint?

You don't fool around.
Which way, sweetheart?

Drive straight out along Short Island
Sound to the Old Criminal's Home.

Oh, would I love to see
Commissioner Gordon's face now.

Incredible.

I don't believe it.

Two of me men saw it
with their own four eyes.

Catwoman riding in the
Batmobile with Batman.

They came off the bridge
and disappeared in the traffic.

The worst has come to pass.

Send out an all-points
bulletin, Chief O'Hara:

"Wanted, dead or alive: Batman,
Robin, Catwoman, and Pussycat."

Eh, you, young criminals, you
don't know what it's all about.

Back in the good old days...

Stow the gab, Little Al. Crime's come
a long way since you were operating.

- Yeah, yeah, here's the million, Little Al.
- Oh, thanks, fella.

What did you say your name was?

Oh, quit yapping and give
us the plans to the Mint.

Shh.

Not so loud.

There are a lot of very
dishonest persons in here.

We're all retired
gangsters. You know.

Legs Zircon, Frank Nitty-Gritty.

Give us the envelope, please.

Criminals just ain't
genteel anymore.

Plans are all here. Good. Great.

Where to now, Cat baby?

We'll have to lay low at
the Catlair till it gets dark.

Robin and Pussycat
are there already.

We're gonna drive east on Beacon
till we get to the French Quarter.

It's at 13 Rue Madeleine.

Yes?

Mayor Linseed,
we're doing all we can.

Hello?

Certainly I have all my men
on it, Governor Stonefellow.

As soon as there's any break
in the case, I'll call you back.

Gordon.

Yes. Yes, I will, sir.

Yes, it is terrible. Uh...

My best to Hubert.

An anonymous tip just came into the
switchboard with the address of the Catlair.

- Should we follow it up?
- Let's go.

Maybe now

All the gray has gone away

Maybe now

We'll find a way to
grow From day to day

Loving with the love

You say is here to stay

I will try to meet my vow

Take my hand and show me how

Turn the key and we may see love

Maybe now

Oh. Come on, baby,
did you miss me?

- Well...
- Are you still madly in love with me, huh?

Well...

How about a little smooch?
You're my kind of dame.

I hardly even know you, Robin.

Kissing is a great way to
get acquainted, sweetheart.

Robin, I wouldn't want you to
get the wrong impression of me.

I'm not the type of girl to
kiss a boy on the first crime.

Close your eyes and pucker, and
don't worry about your reputation.

Hands up. Don't make a move.

- Holy shucks.
- You're under arrest.

May I change into my
street clothes before we go?

Oh, all right, go
ahead, but hurry.

How could they have known
the location of my Catlair?

Beats me, Cat baby.

What's new, Catwoman?

Meet us at the Mint
at 5 in the morning.

- Lay low until then, Mr. Spade.
- Right.

We're gonna have to find
a place to hide out, Batman.

Do you remember the
way back to the Batcave?

Batcave?

What's a Batcave?

Concentrate, Batman. Perhaps
you can remember where it is.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I remember.

Yeah, that's it. Batcave.

What's that?

Just a little
Bat-Sleep, Catwoman.

Twenty winks or so.

My name is Pussycat.

My rank is criminal,
second class.

I have no serial number.

Now, if you want any more
information, flatfoot, see my mouthpiece.

It's no use, O'Hara.
She won't cr*ck.

- What she needs is a good slap on the wrist.
- That's enough.

You know I'm violently
opposed to police brutality.

Well, then how are
we gonna find Batman?

I have an idea.

How do we usually find Batman?

Call him on the Batphone.

Correct. Now, what
would happen...

if we were to trace the line
attached to the Batphone?

Brilliant, commissioner.

- What happened?
- You fainted in my arms.

Maybe I should
take more catnaps.

Fantastic.

Fantastic.

What a base of operations.

Yeah, it's a nice
little pad, Cat baby.

Ah.

Oh, Batman, this is wonderful.

You and me...

in our own private paradise.

Sounds swingy.

Yeah, and Gotham City
will swing at our mercy.

Is there something
you'd like to do, Batman?

Yeah, I got your
message, Catwoman.

Isn't there something
that you wanna do?

Now that we're standing
almost mask to mask this way.

Sure, Catwoman.

But first, we got the heist
at the Mint to think about.

Caped crime-fighter
to caped crook.

What's going on?

Someone is trying to
trace the line to the Batcave.

- Can they do that?
- If I let them.

It's been tried before,
but I'm not gonna let them.

There. That ought to throw them
off the track for a while, Cat baby.

Meanwhile, back in
the rundown apartment...

of the world's richest and
cheapest inventor, Pat Pending...

One million seven hundred
thousand nine hundred and forty-eight.

One mil...

Stay right where
you are, Batman.

Batman? Is Batman here?

That's right. And you're
he... Uh, him. Batman.

Me? Batman? Ha,
ha. With this paunch?

You're very clever, Batman.

Judging by your appearance,
I'd never guess your secret...

but the Batphone
line led us right to you.

Oh, this is some sort
of trick on Batman's part.

I'll say it is. And where
is Rudy, your valet?

Gone to market.

Correction. We have him at police headquarters
in his guise as Robin, the Boy Wonder.

That's ridiculous.

Rudy's 32 years old.

And obviously very
spry for his age.

Come on, Batman. It's all over.

No, wait a minute. Get your...

You'll hear from my lawyer.
- Out.

I counted that money. I
know how much is there.

"Dear Alfred.

Deliver these
Bat-Antidote Pills...

to Robin at police headquarters.

Then have him meet me..."

Ah.

Good show, sir.

It's 5:00 in the morning and all is
not well at the Gotham City Mint.

It's cold.

Here. You want my
cape around you?

I prefer your arms around me.

We're ready when
you are, Catwoman.

Your timing's incredible!

All right, let's get on with it.

Now, here's the secret
entrance to the place.

We're standing in front of the rear door
and the entrance is four feet to the left.

I don't see anything, Catwoman.

You're not supposed to.
That's the idea. Hammer.

Get back.

Get back.

Get back.

Get down.

Get down.

It's a new expl*sive that makes
no noise. It's called silentmite.

Spade, Marlow, Templar, fill
up those sacks with money.

Don't take anything
under a nickel.

Hello, Catwoman.

Robin, you escaped.

- A lucky star's above you.
- But not for you.

I'm no longer under the influence
of cataphrenic, Catwoman.

I'm back to my old,
young crime-fighting self.

Batman, punch him,
kick him. Do something.

No.

Catwoman, you've been
hoist on your own petard.

I took a Universal Bat-Antidote before
you administered that dreadful drug.

I never was under your
spell. I was merely acting.

But I had to find the chink
in the armor of the Mint...

which I have.

Men, dispense with them quickly.

- She's gone.
- But where?

Batman, Robin, forgive
my ever doubting you, but I...

There is no time for that, commissioner.
Question is, have you see Catwoman?

- I did, Caped Crusader.
- Where?

Just pulled away
in the Batmobile.

- The Batmobile?
- The Batmobile?

She must have taken the key to the ignition
while my mind was on something else.

Holy diversionary tactic.

There is one way we
can catch her, Robin.

Chief O'Hara, may I have
the keys to your patrol car?

- You insured?
- Give him the keys, O'Hara.

- Yes, sir.
- No ordinary car can catch the Batmobile.

Absolutely correct, Robin.

Excuse us.

We'll never catch her, Batman.

Not as long as she keeps going
at the Batmobile's top speed.

She's heading, it
appears, to New Guernsey.

Here, take this.

The remote control apparatus.
Why didn't I think of that?

That device can
manipulate the Batmobile.

The red button is for the
brakes, white is for acceleration...

and the green button
will turn the car...

a la izquierda o a la derecha.

To the left or right.

Threw in a little Spanish
on me, huh, Batman?

One should keep abreast
of foreign tongues, Robin.

Must be running out of fuel.

- Can you see her?
- Yes. Just up ahead.

There she is, amigo.

Catwoman, come down!

You'll have to come
up and get me, Batman.

What now, mon ami?

You heard what she said, Robin. You
stay where you are. I'll take care of this.

Go get her, Batman.

Get her.

You're running out of room,
Catwoman. You'd better come down.

Sorry, Batman, but
all my systems are go.

Give up, Catwoman.
There's no exit.

You'll never catch
me alive. Ha, ha.

It's all over, Catwoman.

I could swim for it.

You'd never survive the fall. It's
a hundred feet down into the river.

Anything's better than
facing prison again.

I'll do everything I
can to rehabilitate you.

- Marry me.
- Everything except that.

A wife, no matter how
beauteous or affectionate...

would severely impair
my crime-fighting.

Then I can help
you in your work.

As a former criminal,
I'd be invaluable.

- I can reform. Honestly, I can.
- What about Robin?

Robin?

Oh, I've got it. We'll k*ll him.

I see you're not really ready
to assume a life in society.

I guess you're right, Batman.

Can't teach an
old cat new tricks.

Give me your hand.

All right, now, get moving.
Get moving, all of you.

The paddy wagon is waiting
for you. Come on. You too.

My deepest regrets for ever
questioning your actions, Batman.

Accepted, Commissioner
Gordon. You couldn't have known...

that my plan was to let
Catwoman play out her hand.

Oh, yes, Catwoman.
An evil genius.

You remember your association
with her, Boy Wonder?

It's all a blur. Like
a horrible daymare.

I don't think she'll be
bothering us anymore.

You're probably right,
as usual, Batman.

Although we've found
no trace of her body...

I can't conceive of anyone living after a
fall from the top of a building like that...

- into West River.
- And yet, I can't help thinking...

that somewhere in that
great Catlair in the sky...

she's looking down
and laughing at us.

I feel the same way, Batman.

She made good her thr*at,
never again to return to prison.

Even though it
cost her her life.

Or at least one of her lives.