03x13 - The Bloody Tower

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Batman". Aired: January 12, 1966 – March 14, 1968.*
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Series follows on Batman and Robin as they defend Gotham City from its various criminals.
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03x13 - The Bloody Tower

Post by bunniefuu »

NARRATOR: Nothing has changed with the
weather in the great metropolis of Londinium.

It's still clear as glass.

But at least the Dynamic Duo
are out of the fog in the winch room.

And the mist seems to
have missed the Batmobile.

Thank heavens, Robin. I
despaired of ever seeing you again.

The despair was mutual, Alfred.

I think we better get out to Ffogg
Place and see what's happened to Batgirl.

- Batgirl?
- Yes.

Alfred heard that she discovered
a super-secret Cricket Pavilion...

which just might contain the
solution to this entire mystery.

She has and it does.

You two seem to know a lot
more about Batgirl than I do.

She's in the dungeon at Ffogg Place beneath the
gallery off the super-secret Cricket Pavilion.

I would be too if Lord Ffogg hadn't
wanted me to wind up in the winch room.

- We better get there on the double.
- If I may, sir, my cab.

- Your cab?
- I borrowed one from my cousin Cuthbert...

to get around a bit, you know?

It's parked in the dock area.

Yes, of course, I remember.

Better still, Robin, you
drive the Batmobile.

Let us off at Alfred's cab, go straight
to Ffogg Place, and we'll follow.

You bet, Batman. If we disassemble, maybe
we can catch the whole g*ng off guard.

And don't forget to drive
on the left, not the right.

I won't, Batman.

I learned that when we got our
international driver's licenses.

Good.

Batman.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile in
the dungeon at Ffogg Place...

Batgirl seems to have survived
Lord Ffogg's paralyzing gas.

But what next?

So young, so pretty,
such joie de vivre.

Yes, Marmaduke.

It seems a pity that we have
to dispose of her, doesn't it?

But dispose of her we must.

With Batman and Robin
fogbound in the Tower Bridge...

we can now plan
our crowning theft.

- The Crown Jewels.
- The Crown Jewels?

- She heard you, Marmaduke.
- It matters little, sister dear.

Somehow Batman has
managed to regain his memory.

But death will prevent
Batgirl from regaining hers...

when I toss these lethal
fog pellets from the steps.

- Toodle-oo.
- And chin-chin.

[FFOGG LAUGHING]

NARRATOR: And soon, hard
by the gates of Ffogg Place...

What's that? The blooming Boy
Wonder climbed over the main gates?

Hold your places.
I'll handle this.

Did you hear that, Penelope?

Robin is on the
grounds someplace.

We must act
covertly to trap him.

Well, why don't we have
Lady Prudence act covertly?

Lady Prudence. Splendid,
my dear, splendid.

[BUZZING]

Smashing, Robin.

You've tripped the wire leading
to His Lordship's beehive.

And released an
African death bee.

The queen, in fact.

She's landing on
your hand, Robin.

Don't lose your cool.

Tempted, sir?

Sorely, Alfred.

By opening this suitcase, I
might learn Batgirl's true identity.

And thus destroy the
anonymity so precious to her.

As yours is to you, sir.

I know, Alfred.

You go back to the city
while I infiltrate Ffogg Place...

and try to find her and Robin.

Alert Commissioner Gordon and venerable
Ireland Yard as to my whereabouts.

Tell them I'll be in
touch if I need help.

Cheerio.

She won't leave.

She may.

But once a death bee lands,
she usually stays a while.

Or she may sting you,
Robin, and you'll die.

All the other girls are
out of their skin over you.

I can see why, Robin.

I can see why.

What? Not dead yet?

No, Lord Ffogg, far from it.

My lethal fog pellets must be
stale. They're losing their strength.

Well, I had the girls make up a fresh
batch in chemistry class, Marmaduke.

And I hid them amongst the Duchess
of Desborough's diamonds to be handy.

Let's get them.

But, Marmaduke,
hadn't we better hurry?

What with Robin out on the lawn
and Batman coming up the drive.

When the death bee stings Boy
Wonder, he'll be out the lawn forever.

Then Digby, Scudder and
Basil can handle Batman.

Well, they didn't before.

Since that little incident, I've
given them a severe talking to.

[PHONE RINGS]

What? Batman got
away from the terrace?

He's coming here to
the Cricket Pavilion?

Basil, you are discharged.

We had better hurry, Penelope.

BATMAN: Unh.
- Come here, Penelope.

- Batgirl.
- No, Batman, don't come down here.

Look out behind you. Lord Ffogg.

Quick, the pellets, my dear.

I will close and bolt
the door to the dungeon.

What a triumph.

A double triumph.

PRUDENCE: And the grooviest
thing happened, governor.

What happened?

- The bee stung Robin.
- Ah!

Well, you better take him up to the
girls' dormitory and let him perish there.

And round up the
rest of the pupils.

We're off to the Tower of
Londinium and the Crown Jewels.

Why don't I perish here?

It's closer.

NARRATOR: Courage, Robin.

Seconds away, Alfred is
forcing the gates of Ffogg Place...

with an unusual
show of strength.

What's this?

Another troubled visitor
in venerable Ireland Yard?

I'm sorry to bother you here in
venerable Ireland Yard, commissioner.

Oh, no bother, Mrs. Cooper.
I'm glad you found me.

I'm sure Bruce and d*ck
are someplace in Londinium...

but I haven't been
able to locate them.

I'm on my way home from
my North Cape cruise...

and I hoped to surprise them.

Well, Bruce has been tied up on Wayne
Foundation business since his arrival...

and young Mr. d*ck, I believe, is doing
some research at the various museums.

And we have various,
various museums, Mrs. Cooper.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Yes, ha, ha.

Well, I thank you
both for your time.

It's been a pleasure.

- Oh, commissioner.
- Yes, ma'am?

If you hear from
either of them...

will you please tell them that
I'll be at the Londinium House...

- for another day or so?
- Of course.

It's nice meeting you.

Oh, the pleasure's
been all mine.

- Thank you again. Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Ha, ha.

Yeah, delightful lady.

NARRATOR: While
back in the dungeon...

That Anti-Lethal-Fog
Batspray is working, Batman.

Yes, I always carry some in
my utility belt along with a Bat-file.

Now to get to work
on those chains.

NARRATOR: As in the pretty
student bodies' dormitory...

You're not dying, Robin.

I was down to my last
African death bee antidote pill...

but I popped it in my
mouth and I'm fine.

- Groovy.
- You're right, Duchess.

Man, I'm ape about you, Robin.

Oh, you're duping my mind.

I'm launched.

Were you ape and launched
when you waylaid me on that dock...

shanghaied me and
brought me back here...

when you knew I was being
tied to a winch in Tower Bridge?

Merely scholastic
exercises, Boy Wonder.

Holy homework. I'm
getting out of here.

[ALL SCREAM]

[ALL GIGGLING]

Your daughter, commissioner?

No, she's not here. She
left earlier this afternoon.

Left? For where?

I don't know. We were out.

That's very unlike Barbara,
not getting in touch with me.

I'm coming over there at once.

Oh, certainly, commissioner.

He's coming out here
at once, Marmaduke.

At once? With Londinium traffic
the way it is in the late afternoon...

it will be an hour at least.

PENELOPE: I don't see why the girls are
not... FFOGG: It was your idea, my sweet.

PENELOPE: Yes, but that was before
we decided to fog in on the Crown Jewels.

Tell the girls to bury Robin where
the aftergrass lawn is thickest.

No one will ever find Batman
and Batgirl in that dungeon...

and we're home free as soon
as we get the Crown Jewels.

I have a strange feeling that the authorities
are beginning to get suspicious of us, Marmaduke.

Getting suspicious of us is
one thing, getting us is another.

Our private plane is
being refueled right now.

And Argentuela has no
extradition treaty with this country.

Argentuela.

Oh, Marmaduke, I've always wanted
to go to the Southern Hemisphere.

I'll alert the household staff.

- You sacked the household staff.
- I rehired them. They're doctoring their bruises.

- What is it, Lady Prudence?
- Robin got away, governor.

He jumped out of the
window of the girls' dormitory.

- Dead?
- Dead?

He wasn't dead.

He's took some
sort of bee-sting pill.

Isn't that the most?

To the Tower of
Londinium at once.

[GRUNTING]

Just as I suspected, the dungeon door is
made of solid oak. I can't break through it.

If we could only reach
that grating up there.

Your Batarang?

I left it in the Batmobile.

If we only had a length of rope.

Here's some rope, Batman. But how can you
get it to the grating without your Batarang?

By using the old Indian rope
trick. I mastered it years ago.

How can I help?

By standing directly
under that grating...

and concentrating on
the Indian fakir command.

[SPEAKS IN HINDI]

Hindi for "rope stay straight."

[SPEAKING IN HINDI]

Master Robin, I just
heard you were dead.

You heard wrong. Uh, wrongly.

I gotta get a message to Commissioner
Gordon at venerable Ireland Yard.

Just what I was attempting to do. Lord Ffogg
is planning to steal the Crown Jewels...

from the Tower of Londinium.

And Batman and Batgirl are
both in the Ffogg Place dungeon.

I'll get back there. You get
on the Batmobile's Batphone.

Good.

NARRATOR: But Lord Ffogg and
his evil entourage of Londinium ladies...

are already on their way
to the Tower of Londinium...

and the Crown Jewels.

It worked.

Yes, there's more to old Indian
fakir tricks than one might suspect.

And concentration magnified
by the power of yoga?

Yes, yes, that's enough
talking, Batgirl. Up you go.

This rope may
have saved our lives.

Batman, Batgirl, how did
you get out of that dungeon?

[SPEAKS IN HINDI]

Holy levitation.

- The rope's doing it again.
- Yes, I better reverse the incantation.

[SPEAKS IN HINDI]

Can you conjure up something
to get us to the tower...

before Lord Ffogg
and Lady Peasoup?

They've left to steal
the Crown Jewels.

I certainly hope so, Robin.

NARRATOR: And so at the
famed Tower of Londinium...

otherwise known as
the Bloody Tower...

where two Beefeaters
and a busbied sentry...

guard the glass case
containing the Crown Jewels.

A, ha! Here we are,
girls, the Crown Jewels.

Aren't they magnificent?

PRUDENCE: Look at the Star of
Africa diamond in the royal scepter.

Isn't it smashing?

Well, I'm out of my skin over
the Sovereign's Golden Orb.

I'm sorry, but
it's past closing.

Past closing? To me,
Lord Ffogg of Ffoggshire?

I'll take that halberd.

But not the Crown
Jewels, Lord Ffogg.

Batman and Robin?

How did you get here?

It took a holy incantation.

Basil, Digby, Scudder!

- Oh, we're here, governor.
- Johnny-on-the-spot.

Jolly good timing, what.

Hey.

[ALL GRUNTING]

I think we better
split, Lady Peasoup.

Indeed, Prudence.

Batgirl.

- Batgirl?
- Batgirl?

My Pipe of Fog
Bat-reverser, Your Lordship.

You'll not catch
us flat-footed again.

Well, this is a
jolly little beanfest.

Take His Lordship, Her Ladyship
and these girlships to the tombs.

But who's going to look after
our aftergrass, Marmaduke?

Quite so, quite so.

I wish I had time
to explain, Robin.

I've been very naughty.

I thought if I could play all sides against
each other, I would come out on top...

and be Her Ladyship
of Ffogg Place alone.

But it didn't work.

No, Lady Prudence, it didn't.

But cheerio.

Well, I think this calls for a cup
of char at venerable Ireland Yard.

Char?

Yes, Robin, a
colloquialism for tea.

I think a cup of char
would be most welcome, sir.

It will be our first in
Londinium, as a matter of fact.

Will you join us, Batgirl?

Hm. She's gone.

Batgirl? I just passed her outside in
the fog. She was on her Batgirl Cycle.

Where have you been?
I've been so worried.

And what are you doing
in this Bloody Tower?

Bloody Tower is right, Daddy.

I'll explain later,
or at least I'll try to.

But look, the Crown Jewels.

Right where they
belong, my dear.

Thanks to Batman and Robin.

Pip-pip, chin-chin
and toodle-oo.

[LAUGHING]

Yes, sir, we all know how
important international relations are...

and I'm glad we were able
to help in our small way.

Uh, how's your grandson? Heh.

He is?

Extraordinary. Ha-ha-ha.

He is?

Incredible.

He is?

Amazing.

One second, sir.
He's right here.

This is Batman, sir.

A weekend in Texas, sir?

With a barbecue, sir?

And bring the Batmobile, sir?

That's a great
honor, sir, but, uh...

I wonder, could Robin
and I take a rain check, sir...

sometime around Easter?

Oh, of course, sir. I'm
sorry, I completely forgot.

Yes, that's convention
time. Mm-hm.

But thank you for calling, sir.

How could you turn down
an invitation like that, Batman?

Oh, I'm sure he has plenty
of problems right now...

without trying to entertain average
citizens such as Robin and I.

No, we'll just hole up
here in Gotham City.

[INTERCOM BUZZING]

Yes, Bonnie.

BONNIE: I'm sorry to
bother you, commissioner...

but some very feline
character just breezed in here.

Hold it, Bonnie. Say that
again, will you, please?

BONNIE: Some very feline
character just breezed in here...

and stole all the policewomen's new
mini-uniforms you were to approve.

Some feline character?

Could it be Catwoman back again?

Let's take a look.

The Caped Crusaders will
try to head her off, Bonnie.

Just one minute, Catwoman.

[HISSES THEN LAUGHS]

The nerve of her, invading
police headquarters.

Yes, Robin. Gotham City may be in
for some cataclysmic catastrophes.

NARRATOR: And
how right Batman is.

How catastrophic are the
days and nights to come...

as you will see in
the next episode.
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