04x24 - Lucy and Clint Walker

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER:
Starring Lucille Ball.

Costarring Gale Gordon.

MR. MOONEY: Well,
now, just what did you hear

from the lumber company, Frank?

FRANK: Oh,
everything's taken care of.

Oh.

I just hope this project is
finished on time, Winslow.

You certainly worry
a lot, Mr. Mooney.

You know, when I used to
worry, my grandfather would say,

"You can teach a
duck to walk upstairs

but not to hold
on to the banister."

That doesn't make sense.

Neither does worrying.

I let Lightning here do
all my worrying for me.

Lightning?!

Come on, Lightning, let's get
up so Mr. Mooney can sit down.

Come on, girl, let's go.

Lightning? Lightning!

Up! Let's go!

Well, she may not be so frisky,

but she makes a
great paperweight.

Hi. It's me.

FRANK: Oh, hi, Lucy!

Watch it. Careful.

Oh!

(Lucy laughing)

Oh, gee... (laughing)

My... Oh, Frank.

You okay?

Yeah, boy, am I.

I mean, yes, I am.

Except that when I get up
this high, I get a little dizzy.

Hey, that's pretty funny.

(laughs)

If you think that's funny,

you should see the
way she keeps books.

Oh, Mr. Mooney.

MR. MOONEY (groans): Oh...

(Lucy chuckles) Uh...

Say, it's kind of nice
to see you again.

Oh, well, it's nice to
see you, too, Frank,

but don't you think
you better let me down?

Oh, yeah.

(phone ringing)

- Thank you.
- Whoops, there's the phone.

Excuse me.

Okay, Frank.

Well, hi there, Lightning.

Why aren't you on
duty at the bank?

Are you over here on some silly
excuse to see Frank Winslow?

No, I'm not.

I'm over here on bank business.

Bank business?

Yes, I brought you your lunch.

At : in the morning?!

I told you I'd be back by : !

Oh, I'm sorry.

I-I don't know how I can
be so absent-minded.

It's easy when
your mind is absent!

Hi there, Lightning.

Hi...

Say, Lightning
sure likes you, Lucy.

Oh, really?

How can you tell?

Why, she almost wagged her tail.

(chuckles)

Say, this-this looks like

a... a-a, a... lovely
honeymoon cottage type place.

Oh, you like it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I can imagine
it with nice wallpaper,

you know, the
yellow daffodil stuff

and-and frilly curtains
all across the front,

and, oh, a cozy love seat
up here by the fireplace.

Yeah, it certainly would make

a nice honeymoon
cottage for somebody.

Yeah.

And you know something, Frank?

You just carried me
over the threshold.

By golly, I sure did, didn't I!

Yes, you did.

(laughs)

(groans): Oh!

This is the first time I've
seen slush in California.

Now, Frank, we've
got to get back to work.

You've got to complete three
units by Monday, you know.

Well, Mr. Mooney, uh, I'm afraid

that it's gonna take
me another year.

A year?!

B-But you said Monday.

That's four days!

Well, it's a year to me.

Uh, my birthday's on
Saturday; I'll be a year older.

For heaven's sake.

Is your birthday
really Saturday?

It sure is.

Hey, that's the same day
we're having our bank picnic.

- Really?
- Yeah, isn't that right, Mr. Mooney?

Yes, yes, we like to
give our bank employees

a day in the open spaces.

Takes their minds
off embezzling.

Frank, uh, since Saturday's
your birthday and all,

how would you like to
go to the picnic with me?

Why, I think that
would be wonderful.

- I'd love to.
- Good.

Then I could make a
regular birthday party for you.

See, I'll make you
a cake and candles.

- Uh, well, Lucy...
- Have...

I'd rather you didn't,
uh, go to a big fuss.

I, uh... those kind of things
kind of embarrass me, you know.

Oh, all right, Frank.

- I understand.
- MAN: Hey, boss!

Okay.

- Yeah?
- I need a quart of cement.

All right! Well, I guess I
better get back to work here.

Okay, Frank.

Sure nice seeing you, Lucy.

Yeah, nice seeing you.

Don't forget Saturday, now.

Oh, I'll be there.

Okay.

Mr. Mooney, I need...

Some money to buy a
birthday present for Frank.

Gee, you read my mind.

It was very light reading.

Well, I just gotta
buy him a present.

Now, look, Mrs. Carmichael,
wouldn't it be more thoughtful

if you made him
a little something?

I'm sure he'd
appreciate that more than

if you bought him a gift.

That's not a bad idea.

A thoughtful homemade gift.

Let's see now, what
am I good at making?

Trouble.

But how would you wrap it?

Oh!

Ooh.

Oh...

Hi, Lucy.

Oh, hi, Mary Jane.

Hey, what's all this?

Well, Saturday is Frank
Winslow's birthday.

I'm gonna surprise him
and knit him a sweater.

Well, I never saw so
much yarn in my whole life.

I just hope he likes red.

What made you decide on red?

Well, I figured it
out psychologically.

MARY JANE: Yeah.

Frank is big, bold and bright,

so I figured he'd like a
big, bold, bright color.

(chuckles)

Anyway, the red
yarn was on sale.

So I just have to make all that

into a sweater before Saturday.

Gee, you know, sometimes I wish

I had a big tall
boyfriend like Frank,

instead of my
short skinny Harold.

Oh, come now.

Harold has his good points.

Yeah, I guess so.

I could knit him a
sweater in an hour.

He's the only man I
know with a size-two neck.

- Oh!
- What?

I just remembered, I
don't know Frank's size.

How can I knit him a sweater
if I don't know his size?

You don't know his size?!

No, and I've got to know
how-how big his chest is

and how long he is
front and back and-and...

Oh, what am I gonna do?

Give him the needles and yarn

and tell him it's a
do-it-yourself sweater.

Oh, Mary Jane.

I'm just gonna have to go
back out to that construction site

and-and get his measurements.

Oh, Lucy, then he'll know
you're giving him a present

and it won't be a surprise.

Well, not if I do it
in a sneaky way.

How'll you do that?

I don't know.

It's so sneaky, I
haven't figured it out yet.

I'll be right back.

See you later.

Okay.

Hi, Frank.

Well, hi there, little lady.

Well, this is certainly
an unexpected pleasure.

(chuckles)

What brings you way out here?

Well, I was doing some shopping

for the bank
picnic and I thought

maybe I better ask
you what you like to eat.

Oh, well, I just love turkey.

Oh, a nice turkey sandwich?

No, the whole turkey.

Oh, Frank.

- I was only kidding.
- You're joking. Yeah.

- MAN: Hey, boss!
- Yeah?

You want to give me
the order for the lumber?

All right, I'll check my work
sheet and get right back to you.

Oh, you go ahead; you
go ahead with your work.

I'll just stick around.

All right, well, you make
yourself right at home.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh, hi there, Lightning.

Hi, honey.

Yeah, Sid, got the, uh,
-foot two-by-fours.

SID: , right.

And, Sid, about, uh,
-foot two-by-twelves.

- SID: .
- Yeah.

And, uh, oh, about , uh...

eight-foot two-by-fours.

SID: , I got it.

Oh, and, uh, Sid...

better get about
feet of, uh, door molding

for these last three units.

SID: Okay.

Oh, uh, looking for
something, Lucy?

Uh, yeah... the plans...?

Oh, well, maybe you'd
like to see the whole layout.

Oh, yeah, I...

Well, we've got them right here.

Let's see now.

Lucy...

(chuckles): What?

I should show you
blueprints more often.

(laughing): Oh, Frank.

Oh, you...

Well, Frank, I'm afraid I...

Oh?

I hadn't better stay like this,

or people will
talk, a lot of the...

All right. Yeah.

- I'd better...
- All right.

Look at them from out here.

Okay.

Well, uh, this, uh,
this print shows

the whole acres here, Lucy.

and a half.

No, .

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

And, uh, there's about units

in this whole, uh,
development here, Lucy.

Twenty-four.

Uh, .

- (phone ringing)
- Yeah.

Uh, the phone.

Excuse me.

(whispers): Darn it.

(keys clink)

Oh, dear.

What's the matter, Lucy?

Oh, I'm so clumsy.

I was looking at the fireplace;
I dropped my keys in there.

Oh, well, now,
let's not get wrinkles

in that pretty little
forehead there.

(chuckles)

You just let old Frank get
those keys for you, huh?

Okay, old Frank.

(screams)

How'd you get up there?

It wasn't easy.

LUCY: Oh...

Whoops! Watch it, Lucy.

What?! What?!

- What's the matter?
- That's...

wet plaster in back of you.

Wet plaster?

Oh, yeah.

The whole wall.

Oh!

Yeah.

Oh, uh, well,
Frank, I... I-I-I be...

I think I better go and
let you do your work.

- Oh.
- I don't want to, uh...

I-I'll be running along.

- Okay.
- I'll see you later.

Oh!

(screams)

Lucy, you're a
powerful little gal.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I-I stumbled and I, uh...

I-I-I'm just turning to
you to ask for my keys.

- Oh.
- You-You didn't give me my keys.

The keys. Oh, yeah.

There you go.

Oh.

I'm terribly sorry
about your wall.

Oh, that's all right.

I can get that fixed.

But I think I better
change my clothes.

I don't allow anybody to
be plastered on the job.

Oh, Frank!

(doorbell ringing)

(knocking on door)

(pounding at door)

(pounding continues)

Oh, Mr. Mooney.

Mrs. Carmichael!

You didn't show up
this morning at the bank.

I couldn't reach
you on the phone.

Well, I didn't know what
had happened to you.

I came over here
to see if you were ill.

No, I'm not ill.
I just overslept.

What time is it?

Well, if you hurry,
you can get to the bank

just in time for
your lunch break.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't apologize.

Without you there, we've
had one of the quietest days

since Roosevelt
closed the banks.

Well, I have a very good excuse.

Oh, I'm sure you have, and
I love to hear your excuses.

Well, now, it just so happens

that I was up
all night knitting.

- Knitting?!
- Yeah.

You?! (laughs)

Oh, that's a good one.

It was your idea.

You told me to make something

for Frank Winslow's
birthday, and I did.

Oh?

I didn't finish it until
: this morning.

Now, look.

Good heavens.

What is that, a
cover for his car?

No. It's a sweater.

A sweater?! You must be kidding.

(laughing): Oh,
that couldn't be...

No, now, it's not a joke.

- It isn't?
- No.

Oh, well, now, how could
even you make it that big?

I don't know.

I guess it's 'cause I
was in such a rush

and I had to do it at night.

I... most of the time, I was
knitting while I was sleeping.

Oh, dear.

I-I-I can't give it
to him like this.

Oh, go ahead. Go
ahead. Give it to him.

Tell him it's a turtleneck rug.

Oh!

Gee, Mr. Mooney.

Hey, you gotta
help me. Try it on.

Try it...? I only have
an hour for lunch.

- No, now... take off your coat.
- Well... well...

- If you try it on and I see it
on somebody, -Oh, all right.

- Maybe I'll be able to fix it.
- I don't think it's going

- to do any good.
- Well, I just gotta see it.

How do you, how do
you, how do you get into it?

Where is... oh!

Oh, dear.

What am I gonna do?

Tomorrow is his birthday.

I was gonna give it
to him at the picnic.

Now everything is ruined.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wh-wh-why don't you shrink it?

What?

Why don't you shrink it?

- Shrink it?!
- Yeah, yeah.

Hot water shrinks wool.

- Hey, that's right.
- Yeah.

That's right.

I-I could... I could put it
in a tub of boiling water

and boil it for a
couple of hours.

- Take it off.
- All right.

LUCY: Oh, gee...

MR. MOONEY: If I'm not
out of here in three days,

send in a searching party.

(all shouting indistinctly)

(all groaning)

Disqualified. You
touched it with your hand.

All right, next couple.

All right, now.

No hands, remember?

On your marks, get
set... (blows whistle)

(all shouting)

MR. MOONEY: Oh! No hands!

No hands! No hands!

(clapping, indistinct shouting)

MR. MOONEY: Oh! No hands, now!

No hands! No hands!

(all shouting)

(all cheering)

The winner! The winner!

What do we get? What do we get?

What's the prize?

You win a Lawrence Welk album,

complete with bubble pipe.

Oh, wonderful!

All right, folks.

That's enough games
now, for a little while.

I'm going to check lunch
and the punch for the bunch.

Oh, cute.

(Lucy sighs)

Well, we did it.

Boy, I didn't expect
to win. Did you?

No, but, uh, just what I
always wanted: a bubble pipe.

(Lucy laughs)

Ooh, let's sit down and rest.

Yeah, okay, but first I want
to get something out of the car.

What? I'll get it for you.

No, no, no, I'll get it.

It's, uh, kind of a surprise.

- Oh?
- I'll be right back.

All right.

Oh, while I'm out there, I'll
get Lightning some water.

- Oh, she'll like that.
- Okay.

MARY JANE: Hey, Lucy! Come here.

How does Frank like the sweater?

I haven't given it to him yet.

Oh, well, did you shrink
it enough so it'll fit him?

Uh, yeah, I think so.

But it was damp when
Frank came to pick me up,

so I had to put
it in the box wet.

But, uh, oh, boy,
I hope he likes it.

- Oh, I hope he likes it, Lucy.
- Oh, yeah.

I'm going out and
get it right now

- and give it to him.
- Okay. I'll see you.

(laughter)

Well, uh, all right;
you asked for it.

Little rusty... we'll see what
we can come up with here.

(plays upbeat tune)

(crowd clapping to b*at)

(laughter, clapping)

FRANK: Whoo!

Hey, there, fella.

That was wonderful.

I didn't know you knew
how to play the harmonica.

Well, there are a lot of things
you don't know about me, Lucy.

Oh, really?

Well, tell me about
some of them.

I'd love to know all about you.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

Well, let's see, uh...

I was born in Iowa.

- Iowa!
- Yeah.

I didn't know that.

Come from a family of six.

I was the shortest in the bunch.

Oh, come on, now.

Don't tell me you have
brothers taller than you are.

What brothers? I got sisters.

Oh, you're joking!

Yeah, I sure am.

Well, don't joke now, Frank.

Uh, tell me about yourself.

I really want to know.

- You really do?
- Yeah.

Well, let me see.

When I was a kid, uh,

I got second prize
in the spelling bee.

Oh. Too bad you
didn't win first.

Oh, I didn't want to.

What do you mean,
you didn't want to?

Well, second prize
was what I really wanted.

What was it?

Pair of roller skates.

What was the first prize?

Well, the first prize
was a big red sled.

You don't like sleds?

Oh, I love sleds, but I
just hate the color red.

Oh, you, uh... you hate red?

Yeah.

You see, when I went to school,

if I got a bad mark
on my report card,

the teacher used to draw
a big red circle around it.

So that's why you hate red?

Yeah.

Seems like that was
all my parents ever saw,

was that big red circle
around the bad mark.

- Yeah, so you hate red.
- Yeah.

Well, uh, with one exception.

I... I just love your red hair.

(Lucy chuckles)

Oh... Oh, uh, look, Frank...

Look at that bird over there.

Isn't that a
yellow-breasted sapsucker?

Where, Lucy? I don't see a bird.

Lucy, is this yours?

- Mine?
- Oh, sure, that's yours.

Well, uh...

That's the one you
had in the automobile.

Oh, yeah. So it is.

Uh, how'd you get it, Mary Jane?

Well, I was standing
over there with Harold,

and he was about to kiss me,

and it hit him and
knocked him down.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Well, thank you, Mary
Jane; thank you very much.

Okay. I'll see you later.

I gotta get back there
and pick up Harold.

Uh, Frank, don't you
think you should go

and let Lightning out of
the car for a little exercise?

Oh, that's a good idea, Lucy.

- Okay.
- Say, you know something?

- What?
- You're one of the most

considerate gals I ever met.

Oh, no, I was just thinking

that Lightning might enjoy
the picnic and all these trees.

I'll be right back.

Lucy, where have you been?

I've been out in the
woods, burying that sweater.

Burying the sweater?

- Yes.
- Why?

Well, I had to bury
it after I found out

that Frank took the
skates instead of the sled

because all his
parents ever looked at

were those big circles.

What?!

Here comes Frank. Shh.

- Lucy?
- Yeah?

- I gotta thank you on behalf of Lightning.
- For what?

Oh, she was so tickled
to get out of that car,

she sent you this.

Lightning sent me that?

Well, actually, she
kissed me on the hand,

but I just raised
my sights a little.

Oh, you.

MR. MOONEY: Come and get it!

Well, should we join the
bunch for lunch and punch?

(grunts) You better
help me carry this.

- Uh, Lucy?
- Yeah?

Would you mind if we
didn't eat with the bunch?

I mean, if we just
kind of ate alone?

Why, no, I'd love that.

Oh, wonderful.

We'll eat right here.

Oh, that's wonderful, Frank.

Well, what do we got?

Well, I think you'll
like what I have.

Holy...

You did it!

Yeah, yeah...

Is that your package?

Uh, uh... by golly, uh, yeah.

Well, she's still
a good retriever,

when she's not asleep.

Yeah? Well, she
picked a fine time

to get a burst of energy.

Say, Lucy...

Yeah?

You been acting
mighty mysterious

about that package all day long.

What is it?

Uh, well, uh...

Say, wait a minute.

You didn't go out and buy
me a birthday present, did you?

No, I swear, I didn't
buy you a present, Frank.

Uh, well, it's, uh...

it's a surprise.

Well, can I see it?

Oh, I guess you
might as well, Frank.

You see, I didn't know
what to do for your birthday.

You didn't want any
big fuss or anything;

and didn't want anybody
buying you a present and...

Well, even though you hate
red, go ahead and open it.

Why, that's wonderful, Lucy!

It is?!

Yeah.

Why, who else would have dreamed

of knitting Lightning a sweater?

She'll just love the color red!

For Lightning...

Lightning will like that.

- Yeah.
- Oh.

And she'll just
love the color red.

Well, uh, th...
wonderful. (laughing)

- Yeah.
- Maybe red will keep her awake.

That's an idea.

Yeah, well-well, I
wonder if it'll fit her.

- Well, let's try it on her and find out.
- Okay.

- Here you are, honey.
- FRANK: Come on.

- Come on, baby.
- Lucy's got something for you.

Come on, there.

Come on, baby.

Come on, there.

Yeah. There she is.

Oh... Oh, isn't her
gonna be pretty?

Oh, look at that. Yeah...

Aw...

Aw, now, baby.

Oh, look at you...
you are precious.

Isn't it wonderful?

Aw...