06x15 - Lucy and Viv Reminisce

[bunniefuu]

[ANNOUNCER READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]

ANNOUNCER:
Co-starring Gale Gordon.

You know, I just haven't
been at all sure I'd graduate.

Yeah. Well, all the
girls felt like that.

But isn't it wonderful we
all passed our flight test?

And in our entire class,
we didn't have one dropout.

Who'd wanna drop
out from , feet?

Yeah. You know, I don't know whether
I'm more excited about the graduation

or that show we're
putting on tonight.

- I'll probably faint in both.
- Well, you hadn't better.

Come on, let's get dressed.

Oh, Carol, look at all the people
coming in to see our graduation.

[CAROL SCREAMS]

- What's the matter?
- You know I'm afraid of heights.

I thought you got
over your hydrophobia.

I don't know. It's just
that I'm so nervous today.

Yeah, well, we're all nervous.

We've all been working so
hard just trying to graduate

and rehearsing that play.

Hey, wasn't it great that the
girls were able to get fellows

to play the men's parts?

Yeah. Most of them
got their boyfriends.

Yeah. All I could
get was my uncle.

I didn't even get an uncle.

Oh, don't worry, Lucy,

my Uncle Charlie is so happy
about playing the captain in our play

that he offered to take us out
tonight after the show and celebrate.

- He did?
- Oh, yeah.

And if there's one thing
about Uncle Charlie,

he knows how to celebrate.

He's the big swinger
in our family tree.

[LAUGHS]

Well, Carol, it's very
sweet of you to include me,

but at a time like this,

a girl wants a date that's
really hers, you know?

Just for once, I'd
like that door to open

and my very own
Prince Charming walk in.

That's Prince Charming?

Mr. Mooney!

I can't tell you how pleased I am
that you came for my graduation.

Mrs. Carmichael, I wouldn't
have missed it for the world.

Really? Well, I was just afraid
that you might resent the fact

that I took a leave of absence.

- You know, to try out for another job.
- Quite the contrary.

As a matter of fact, Mr. Cheever
and our whole board of directors

are waiting for a phone call from
me confirming your graduation.

- They are?
- Yes.

And the moment you are
officially an employee of the airlines,

we are going to load
up on railroad stock.

[LAUGHING]

Uh... Oh, Carol, this is Mr. Mooney,
the man I used to work for.

- Oh, hello.
- How do you do?

Wasn't it nice of him to
come to my graduation?

Oh, yes. And I guess to
a businessman like you,

losing a secretary like Lucy
is almost like losing a wife.

[CAROL & LUCY CHUCKLE]

Almost.

- Not quite as good but almost.
- Oh.

Mr. Mooney, you've certainly made
my day by coming to my graduation.

Well, I'm delighted
to be here, you know?

This is the first time I've
ever been in a girls' dormitory.

Really? Well, it's visitors'
day, why don't you look around?

MOONEY: Oh, may I?

- Sure.
- Thank you. Excuse me.

[PHONE RINGS]

CAROL: I'll get it.
- Okay.

Hello?

Oh, yes, this is Carol Tilford.

Oh?

Oh?!

Oh!

Carol, what's wrong?

Oh!

Oh, what?

I told you that my Uncle
Charlie was gonna take us out

- to celebrate after the show.
- Yes.

Well, he won't be here. He
celebrated before the show.

- You mean...?
- Crocked!

Oh.

The show.

Carol, the show.

If he's not coming, we won't
have anybody to play the captain.

Maybe we could put a
mustache on one of the girls.

A mustache.

Mr. Mooney.

Are you gonna ask
him to play the part?

No, no. Now, listen.

We have to operate
differently with Mr. Mooney.

He's going to have to ask us.

You just take your cue
from me now. Okay?

- Okay. Look out, here he comes.
- Okay.

Well, gee, Carol, I don't know,

I guess we'll just have to
call the show off tonight.

- We will?
- Yeah.

Well, we'll never be
able to find someone

to play the part of the captain.

You know, that part calls
for a handsome, virile man

of m*llitary bearing.

Uh, what seems to
be the trouble, girls?

Oh, well, the man who
was supposed to play

the most important part
in our graduation show

- had an accident.
- An accident?

Yeah, he fell off a wagon.

Oh, is he suffering?

No, but he will
be in the morning.

Uh, now we're stuck.

We just don't know where to
find a handsome, leading-man type

to play an Air Force
captain in our show tonight.

Uh, Mrs. Carmichael, I
used to be in the service.

- Oh, yes, that's right. You were, yes.
- Yes.

Oh, Mr. Mooney
was a real w*r hero.

You were?

A real w*r hero.

Yeah, once when I was cleaning
out his desk, I found a citation.

- You did?
- Yeah, it said:

"For extreme
caution under cover."

It said "For extreme
valor under fire."

Oh. Oh, I just got it
a little mixed up. Oh.

- You know, Lucy...
- Yeah?

Do you think that perhaps
Mr. Mooney might be able to play...?

Oh, no. Carol, no, no.

Mr. Mooney does
look like a captain,

but remember, the part calls for
someone with terrific acting ability.

Mrs. Carmichael, it
won't require acting for me

to be a handsome, virile
leading man of m*llitary bearing.

You mean you'd like to be
in our show, Mr. Mooney?

Just call me captain.

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

Globe World
Airlines welcomes you

to the graduation of
our stewardess trainees.

Today our graduating
class is paying tribute

to two very fine gentlemen.

Their motion picture, Wings,

the first film to win
an Academy Award,

captured the
imagination of the public

and opened the doors
for the growth of aviation.

And now I would like for you
to meet our honored guests,

the two stars of Wings.

First, Mr. Buddy Rogers.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

- And now, Mr. Richard
Arlen. MAN: Yeah.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

Gentlemen.

- Miss Terry Harper.
- Miss Joan Boston.

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

- There. Congratulations.
- Here are your beautiful wings.

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

- Miss Lucille Carmichael.
- Miss Carol Tilford.

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

- There's your wings.
- Congratulations. And your wings.

LUCY: Thank you.

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

[BAND PLAYING MARCH]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

ALL [SINGING]: We
welcome one and all

To a show of our creation

We stewardess trainees
present A salute to aviation

When the century we lived
in Was a kid just in his teens

Men used to dream of flying
But they didn't have the means

For planes were few and far
between Mass flying wasn't done

Till Uncle Sam's brave nephew
Had a w*r that must be won

Over there, over there

We're coming over
We're coming over

And we won't come back
Till it's over over there

[PLAYING "MY BUDDY"]

[SINGING] Nights are long

Since you went away

I dream of you

All through the day

My buddy

My buddy

Your buddy misses you

- Will you be quiet?
- Aah!

Sorry, sir. I thought the
music might cheer us up a bit.

Well, this message just came in:

"The German a*tillery is
bombarding the village."

- I hope they didn't hit the hotel.
- What hotel?

Any hotel. I got something
going in all of them.

[ROGERS LAUGHS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Who goes there? Friend or foe?

[IN UNISON] We're ladies of
mercy serving the Red Cross.

What are you girls doing
way out here in no-man's-land?

We're delivering
doughnuts to the doughboys.

Delivering doughnuts?

It seems to me you should
be where nurses are needed.

Wait till you eat the doughnuts.

[TELEGRAPH TAPPING]

Oh, oh, oh.

Our patrol has discovered
the German a*tillery positions.

Men, your mission is
to b*mb those positions.

But, sir, we only have one
plane left and it's all sh*t up.

I know, but orders are orders.

[BOMBS WHISTLING THEN EXPLODING]

They always forget that prop!

LUCY: Wait!

Are you gonna send these
kids up in a crate like that?

What else can I do?

How do they expect
me to win a w*r

when they give me equipment
so old and dilapidated

it has to be held together
with chicken wire and glue?

The plane?

No. These two kids.

[ROGERS SHOUTS]

[TELEGRAPH TAPPING]

Hold it! Hold it, hold it!

The armistice is
signed! The w*r is over!

[BOTH SHRIEK]

[BAND PLAYING "HOW YA GONNA
KEEP 'EM DOWN ON THE FARM"]

MEN [SINGING]: How
you going to keep us

Down on the farm

After we've seen Paris?

[MOONEY WHOOPS]

BOTH [SINGING]: Yeah,
how you gonna keep them

Away from Broadway

Jazzing around

Painting the town?

How you going to keep
us Away from harm?

That's a mystery

We'll never want to
see a rake Or plow

And who the deuce
Can parlez-vous a cow?

How you going to keep
us Down on the farm

After we've seen Paris?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Gee, Carol, you know,
I feel kind of strange

about going back
to civilian life.

So do I, Lucy.

Why, the way American women
have changed during the w*r,

girls like us will
be out of place.

You said it.

[BAND PLAYING "THE MODERN GIRL"]

BOTH [SINGING]: Since
the great emancipation

Of the women in our nation

Girls back home are
bolder In their ways

They have cut
their dresses shorter

Than a lady really oughter

And the bobbing of their
curls Is now the craze

Girls now cross
their legs in public

Put powder on their knees

And the language that they use

Like you can bet your BVDs

Carol.

[SINGING] Though it's
shocking to one's virtue

What the modern girl has done

The thing that really hurts you
Is they're having so much fun

The men will all be gone
Before we're back from overseas

Are you game to try to stack
up Against the likes of these?

- Do you think that we can do it?
- You can bet your BVDs.

Lucy!

BOTH [SINGING]:
How you gonna keep us

Down on the farm

After we've seen Paris?

[BAND PLAYING "THE CHARLESTON"]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[CAROL SQUEALS]

Oh, gee, these new fashions
make me feel so razzmatazz.

[IN SQUEAKY VOICE] I
feel just like the cat's pajamas.

Oh, don't you just love being
the women of today's world?

Oh, I sure do.

And now that we're career women,

I hope we can get a job
that's exciting and glamorous.

Look.

Isn't that Captain Mooney and the
two aviators we met during the w*r

when we were ladies of
mercy serving the Red Cross?

Nobody else but!

Hello, Captain Mooney and the
two aviators we met during the w*r.

Aren't you the girls who were ladies
of mercy serving in the Red Cross?

- Nobody else but.
- Oh. Yeah.

Are you boys taking a trip?

No, no. We're trying to
get everybody else to.

- Oh.
- Yes. After the w*r,

we thought we would form
our own commercial airline.

- Oh.
- Oh, what a peachy idea!

- And so modern.
MOONEY: Too modern.

- What do you mean?
- The trains get all the business.

Oh.

Yes, that's why we opened
near the railroad station.

Oh!

We thought we could solicit
some customers out here.

BOTH: Oh!

But we can't compete
with the railroads,

not with their dining cars
and their fancy service.

Well, now, just because
they serve meals

is no reason you can't
compete with them.

Say, Lucy, that's
terrif. What an idea!

You mean you expect us to
serve meals on an airplane?

No, us.

It would be better than serving
doughnuts to the doughboys.

- Ridiculous.
- Stupid.

It's preposterous.

But, Captain
Mooney, now, listen...

Quiet. Please, please.

Here comes a passenger.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

- Pardon me, boys. ALL: Yes?

[SINGING] Is that the
Chattanooga choo-choo?

ALL [SINGING]: Track

Much obliged

I gotta make it on time

When you hear the whistle
blowing Eight to the bar

Then you know That
Tennessee is not very far

Dinner in the diner
Nothing could be finer

Than to have your ham
and eggs In Carolina

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[LUCY WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[SINGING] Cheer
up, Captain Mooney

There's no need for despair

[SINGING] We know
how to get the folks

To travel by air

The idea we've created Will
make the trains look dated

Just forget your worries
And stay right there

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

[BAND PLAYING "ALABAMY BOUND"]

TRAVELERS [SINGING]:
We're Alabamy-bound

We like the music Of
the choo-choo sound

We'll give the meanest
ticket man On earth

All we're worth

To put our tootsies
In an upper berth

We're Alabamy-bound

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

[BAND PLAYING MENDELSSOHN'S
"WEDDING MARCH"]

[SINGING] To Niagara in a sleeper
There's no honeymoon that's cheaper

And the train goes slow

BOTH [SINGING]: Ooh

Off we're gonna shuffle
Shuffle off to Buffalo

For a shiny little quarter We
can have the Pullman porter

Turn the lights down low

ALL [SINGING]: Ooh

Off we're gonna shuffle
Shuffle off to Buffalo

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

LETTERMEN [IN UNISON]:
Rah, rah, sis boom bah.

[BAND PLAYING
"TOOT, TOOT, TOOTSIE!"]

LETTERMEN [SINGING]:
Toot, toot, Tootsie, goodbye

Toot, toot, Tootsie, don't cry

The choo-choo
train that takes me

Away from you

No words can tell
How sad it makes me

Kiss me, Tootsie, and then

Do it over again

Watch for the mail

I'll never fail

If you don't get a letter
Then you'll know I'm in jail

Toot, toot, Tootsie, don't cry

Toot, toot, Tootsie, goodbye

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[BAND PLAYING "MY BUDDY"]

ALL [SINGING]: Nights are long

And we're going broke

It seems our dream

Was only a joke

Nobody

Nobody

Nobody will fly with us

[BAND PLAYING
"HEY, LOOK ME OVER"]

LUCY & CAROL [SINGING]:
Hey, look us over, give us the eye

We'll put you in clover
Make the public fly

Oh, don't take the train,
folks Come take the sky

Just figure whenever you
take a trip The only way's to fly

And when you're high off the
ground Like birds on the wing

We're on the job And
service is the thing

When we're far From
the maddening crowds

We're gonna sail
Through clouds of silk

Serving coffee, tea or milk

[IN UNISON] Our chefs
will dream up meals for you

that are strictly
French cuisine.

We serve champagne on every
plane. Our caviar's supreme.

We have bottles, we have diapers.
We are every mother's friend.

If your baby needs attention,
we can help at either end.

MOONEY & ARLEN [IN UNISON]:
You will find that every hostess

has been trained
to entertain you.

And you'll also find our
pilots can entertain you too.

[PLAYING "HEY, LOOK ME OVER"]

WOMEN [SINGING]: Just
figure whenever you take a trip

The only way is up, up

The only way is up, up, up

ALL [SINGING]:
The only way is up

Up we go into the
wild blue yonder

Climbing high into the sun

MEN: Stewardess - Sir

MEN: You are
the cause for flying

- Stewardess - Sir

MEN: You are the one

ALL: The plane is packed

LUCY & CAROL: Let's go
MOONEY & ROGERS: Contact

ALL: Nothing can
stop the World Airlines

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND WHISTLING]

[ANNOUNCER READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]