01x42 - Cereal Offender

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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01x42 - Cereal Offender

Post by bunniefuu »



- Bored of
the same old breakfast?

[playful music]

- Yes.

- Then try Zombie Bran.

The cereal that turns you
into the walking fed.

- Bran.

- Bran.

Bran!

- Must. Have. Zombie Bran.

Mom!
Mom!

- What on earth is down here?

- Mom, Mom, can we please
get Zombie Bran cereal?

Please, please, please,
please, please, please.

- Sorry, sweetie.
We've got a very tight budget,

and, by the time I get
everything on my grocery list,

there's no money
left over for treats.

- Hmm.
[ding]

What if I could
get everything on here

and still have enough money
left over for Zombie Bran?

- You want to do
the shopping for me?

I don't know, Lincoln.
It's a big responsibility.

I'm not sure you can handle it.

- I can, Mom.
I promise.

And think of what you could do
with all that time to yourself.

[serene music]

- Mmm.

[neck cracking]
Oh, yes.



[burps and sighs]

Deal, but just this once, okay?

- Yes!

Bran.
Bran.

- So that's it.
Luan!

No more comedy props
in the sink!

- Reusable bags.
Calculator.

More reusable bags.

- Lincoln.
I'm going shopping with you.

Bobby literally just
got a job as a stock boy.

[all pleading]

- Sorry, guys.
I'm a man on a mission,

and you'll just get in my way.

- No, we won't.
Uh, we'll help you shop.

- Yeah, we're totally
gonna help you, dude.

- Hmm.

Okay, fine.

Guess I could use
a little help.

[all cheering]

- [cooing]

all: Aww.

- Sorry, Lily.
You're staying with Dad.

Ow!



- All right, Lincoln.

Here's the list,
and here's exactly $ .

I'll be back in an hour.

I'm off to get
my first pedicure in years!

- You will be mine.
Ready, guys?

- Whoa, whoa, what do you
hooligans think you're doing?

- We're shopping
for our mom, sir.

- [gasps]
Bobby Boo Boo Bear.

- Babe!

- I love a man in uniform.

- It's okay, boss.
I know them.

- Very reassuring,
Boo Boo Bear.

- Huh.
Eggs, milk.

Okay, okay.
Looks legit.

But any monkey business,

and you're all out
on your keisters.

- All right, guys.
You heard him.

You all have to be
on your best behavior.

Now, if we each take
a section of Mom's list--

[all cheering and laughing]

I should've known.

I've been played.

I've got $ .

I just need a way to save $ .

Ooh.
cents off the dented one.

A couple more savings
like this,

and I'll have enough
for my Zombie Bran.

- Yippie-ki-yay,
market shoppers.

[hooting and hollering]



- Lynn!

[rock music]

[gasps]
Eject! Eject!



- Ahh.
Nice!

[chuckles]
Soft landing.

- Ugh!
Maybe for you.

- Ha-ha.

[playful music]

- Yowch!

Okay, where were we?
Milk.

- Step right up, folks,

to see some
egg-cellent juggling.

[laughing]
Get it?

- Ulch!
- Whoops.

Oh.
Looks like the yoke's on you.

[laughing]

- Luan!
Cut it out!

- Whoa.

How's this
for a balanced breakfast?

[laughing]

- Yowch!
Who did this?



We've got a hooligan
in our midst.

- Ah, he's no fun.
I was on an egg roll.

Get it?
[laughing]

- [groans]

Okay, that's another cents
saved for old lettuce.

[tone ringing]

- Attention shoppers: we have
a two-for-one sale on waffles.

- Ooh, a sale.



Two for one!

That puts me another buck
closer to Zombie Bran.

- [screaming]

There's a child
in the frozen peas!

[screaming]

- Lisa!
What are you doing?

- Research for
my cryogenic freezer.

The future needs my brain.

- I don't believe this.



- Oh!
Where did that hooligan go?



- Okay.
Tilapia.

- Be free!

The ocean's that way.
Or is it that way?

- Leni, what are you doing?

- Can you believe
people were going

to eat these poor,
helpless creatures?

- Leni!
No!

Yowch!
Ow. Ow. Ow.

- What the--who did this?

[laughing]
I got you now.

[pinch]
Yowch!

Ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

[crashes]

- Go. Go. Go. Go.

What is wrong with you guys?

I told you I was on a mission,
and you're all--

Ooh, another sale.

- For those about to shop,
I salute you.

[guitar solo]

- Dang it.



- Good night, grocery store!

[playful music]

- I'll get you yet.

- Let's see...

Value pack.
Family pack.

Ahh, here we go.
Village pack.

[grunting]

Whew.

Check.

Yes!
That was the last item.

Now, for the moment of truth.

[inhales]
And the grand total is...

$ .

Which leaves...

four bucks for Zombie Bran.

Yes!

Whew.
Last box.

And I can't believe
it's really--

- Mine.

[rock music]

- Hey, you can't do that.
I had it first!

- And I have it now,
pineapple boy.

[laughing]

- Oh, you are going down.

[suspenseful music]

- Oh, you are going down.



[rock music]

- [laughs]
- Guys, please stop.

You're gonna get us kicked out.



Aah!



- Whoa!

- Go, chickens.
Be free.

- Please stop.
You're gonna get us kicked out.



- Sample, dear?

- Oh.
Thank you.



- [yelling]
- Oh, dear.

[crashing]



- [laughing]



- Please stop.

- Sigh.



- Aah!
[crashes]



- [chuckles]
Game over, cereal stealer.

Dang it.

- [laughing]
- Hey! Aah!

- [laughing]

[ding]



Aah!
[crashes]



- [laughs]

Gotcha, hooligan!

- I can't believe
you got us kicked out of here.

- Can I just get my cereal?

- No!

[majestic music]

- B-b-but, my Zombie Bran!

- Yes!

And now to get out
before we're kicked out.

Come on, people.
Let's go, move it.

- Check it out, babe.

- Oh, Boo Boo Bear.
You're such an amazing artist.

- Nah, babe.
You're just an amazing muse.

- Let's go.

- What's the big idea?
- Why are you pushing us?

- Because I'm this close
to getting my cereal,

and I don't want
you guys to ruin it.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do you mean, "your" cereal?

- I made a deal with Mom.
If I had enough money left

after getting all the groceries,
I could get my Zombie Bran.

- Well, if you get a treat,
I want a treat.

- Yeah!
I want a Little Princess Pie.

- I want Blood Pudding.

- I could re-up
on my sodium bicarbonate.

- And I want dog biscuits.

They're for Charles, I swear.

Even though they are great
for my teeth and my coat.

- No way.
There's no money left.

- Well, there will be
if we put this back.

- Give me that!
I worked my butt off to get it.

[all arguing and fighting]

- [sighs]

[buzz]

- Aah!

- No!

[crashes]

- I thought I already
got rid of you, hooligan.

Now I want you out of my store.

And take your sisters with you.



I'll take that.

- But--but--

Ugh!
My Zombie Bran.

- Boo Boo Bear.
Push broom.



- Well, isn't this wonderful?

I guess I'll be shopping in
the next town over for a while.

- I'm sorry, Mom,
but it's not all my fault.

- I don't want to hear about it.

You told me you could handle
the grocery shopping,

but clearly you cannot.

- But Zombie Bran!

- You can forget about
that cereal, Lincoln.

- But--
- End of discussion.

- Bored of
the same old breakfast?

- [sighs]

- Then try Zombie Bran.

The cereal that turns you
into the walking fed.

- Bran.
Bran!

- Now in new
"Raisin the Dead" flavor.

- [sighs]

[all moaning]

Very funny, guys.
I'm not in the mood.

Whoa. Hey!
- Bran.

[all moaning]

- [gasps]
You got me my cereal?

- It's the least we could do.

The only reason you didn't
get this was because of us.

- I only have one thing
to say to you all.

[moaning]
Bran.

[laughter]

- Bran.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house
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