02x23 - Angels on the Run

[bunniefuu]

CHARLIE: Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other, in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...

but I took them
away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[♪♪♪]

[SPOON TAPPING]

[SPOON TAPPING]

Are you all right?

Cops.

Now what do we do?

One ding in it, pal, no tip.

That's him.

It's the same license.

Hey, you're, uh, Sue
Kantrelle's husband,

aren't you?

Back home it was Susan.

Now it is Sue.

The times are sure changing.

What'll you have?

Bourbon, straight.

You got it.

Mr. Kantrelle?

We'd like to talk to you for...

for a moment
outside, if we could.

Well, who are you?

Can't we discuss that outside?

Sorry.

I've gotta hang in here.

My wife's about to
make her singing debut.

Believe me, it's important.

Well, so is this.

She'll have my
hide if I walk out on...

Just get up and
walk slow... please.

Get in.

Hey, look, I'm not getting...

Going anywhere

unless you guys tell
me what this is all about.

We'll tell you in the car.

Tell me now!

[PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC]

CHARLIE: Now, the last
one to see Larry Kantrelle

was the club parking attendant,

who went to get his dump truck.

Dump truck?

Larry sells sand
and gravel for a living.

Mrs. Kantrelle, you have no idea

where your husband
might have gone?

No.

We have been having
some problems lately

and Larry gets mad a lot

and then he walks out,

but he always cools
off in an hour or two

and then he comes right back.

Mrs. Kantrelle,

have you called
friends or relatives?

You know,

sometimes angry
husbands take refuge

in places like that.

Yes.

I have called everyone
I could think of,

and no one has seen
or heard from Larry.

It's okay.

Did you check the hospitals
and talk to the police?

Yes.

Larry gets a little
wild sometimes,

and hurtful, but I love him,

and I know that he loves me.

Oh, if I don't hear
from him soon,

I just know I'm gonna
go a little bit crazy.

Mrs. Kantrelle brought

some pictures of her husband.

Thanks, Bos.

Your husband's very attractive,

Mrs. Kantrelle.

Yes. Yes, you
are not the first one

to notice that.

Larry has a... way with women,

if you know what I mean.

Well, try not to
worry, Mrs. Kantrelle.

When it comes to
finding missing persons,

we've got a pretty
fair batting average.

[TWANGING ON INTERCOM]

Charlie, what is that sound?

Oh, that's

an East Indian
stringed instrument

called a sitar, and
since Mrs. Kantrelle

is a musician, it reminded me,

I've been meaning

to broaden my cultural horizons.

Charlie,

you're learning
how to play the sitar?

I hadn't thought of that,

but what a marvelous idea, Kris.

Thank you.

Well, good luck, Angels.

What?

[♪♪♪]

Grasshopper, right?

Scotch, rocks.

You look like the
grasshopper type.

No, I rarely drink
anything green.

Do me a favor?

I thought you'd never ask.

I'm looking for a man.

I'll join a gym,

I'll lose weight,
I'll dye my hair,

I'll stand on a box.

What else do you want?

Well, I have
somebody in particular

in mind.

What can he do that I can't do?

He disappears.

His name's Kantrelle.
Larry. His wife sings here.

Not yet, she hasn't. She was
supposed to start yesterday,

but he walked out on her

and she got very
upset and split.

Hmm. Listen, when he walked out,

what kind of shape was he in?

He seemed all right.

He left with two guys
who came in for him.

These two guys,

do you remember
what they looked like?

Well, one...

one was dark-haired
and walked with a limp,

like he tripped
over his own nose.

The other guy was
red-headed and, uh...

big type.

Did Larry know these two guys?

He didn't seem too
thrilled to be with them.

Thanks.

I never let a lady pay for
her drink on a Tuesday.

But it's Monday.

So, I'll see you tomorrow?

You know something?

You don't need a
box to stand on at all.

Maybe you're right.

I feel taller already.

[LAUGHING]

[PENCIL SNAPS]

Oh...

[RINGS]

Townsend Agency!

CHARLIE: Bosley,
why are you shouting?

Was I shouting?

Can't you hear yourself?

Oh, well, yes... I suppose...

Yes, I guess I was.

Good. Already we've
accomplished something.

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

Is there any word yet

as to Kantrelle's whereabouts?

Uh, Kantrelle? No,
nothing yet, Charlie.

[KNOCKING]

It's open! It is open!

You're shouting again, Bosley.

Yes, I know.

Charlie, I'm sorry.

It's just that I'm
a little agitated.

Why are you agitated?

Because, Charlie,

I am stuck here in the office

with a lot of paperwork

and I hate... paperwork.

Here's Mrs. Chicken.

What's that?

It's just my lunch, Charlie.

What can I help you with?

There's a friend of mine
at police headquarters.

He's head of Missing Persons.

I want you to call him.
Tell him what we're doing.

There's always an outside chance

he could help us.

Legs, right?

Breasts.

His name is Paul Erewitz.

Lieutenant Paul Erewitz.

But it says legs here.

Breasts.

How do you spell that, Charlie?

Erewitz.

E-R-E... Whoops.

Hold it, Charlie.

Now, what is wrong now?

I broke another pencil.

This is getting to be

a very expensive conversation.

Nope. It says legs.

You get legs.

I ordered breasts.

B-R-E... No, Bosley.

E-R-E.

Just a minute.

Excuse me, Charlie.

I am talking to Mrs. Chicken.

What was that?

Uh, there is a young lady

standing here in
the front of my desk

with a chicken on
the top of her head.

Did you say a
chicken on her head?

Yes. It's my lunch.

Your lunch?

Look, look, I'll tell
you what, Bosley.

I'll call Lieutenant Erewitz.

You get some rest.

Here, please.

Aha. Right here.

John Bosley, Townsend
Agency... Breasts.

Oh, gee.

Well, uh... guess what?

You have no breasts?

I gave them to the
cobbler on Pico Boulevard,

so try the legs.

Did you get the ammonia?

Yeah.

How's he doing?

He started to come around,

then he folded again.

Maybe we should
take him to the hospital.

That's brilliant.

That is really brilliant.

They get him conscious,
he screams for a cop,

and we're out five million.

You wake up. Wake up, man.

Come on, Kantrelle.

Take it easy.

Come on.

Hey, you know what I think?

I think we should
get a hold of his wife.

She might know something.

SUE: All I know is
that I want him back.

Don't ask me why.

Ever since we
left North Carolina

and moved to the big city,

he has been 10
miles of bad road.

Culture shock?

Ego shock.

You see, back there,

I used to sing hillbilly songs

in beer taverns.

I don't know.

I never got very much attention.

And now you do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

My little career

is just something to help
me keep my head straight.

Larry just doesn't
see it that way.

Country boy kind of
jealous of his city wife, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, when this country
boy gets green-eyed,

he can get mighty
difficult to live with.

Full of cute, little
tricks to embarrass me.

Like driving his dump
truck to your opening?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, when he pulls
stunts like that...

I don't know

whether to spank him
or make love to him.

Yeah.

[KNOCKING]

Oh. Uh...

Listen, I really am in
no shape for visitors.

I'll tell you what.

You just go back in the bedroom

and I'll, uh... I'll get
rid of them, okay?

Thank you.

Hello.

Mrs. Kantrelle?

Uh, no. I'm sorry.

She's not here right now.

[♪♪♪]

I think I'm looking
at her right now.

Kelly! Kelly!

Kelly!

Check on her.

Okay.

Let's get out of here.

Whoa.

Lost them. You okay?

Can you die from a
hit on the crazybone?

I don't think so.

Can you go crazy?

You probably could.

What happened?

Well, Mrs. Kantrelle

just got a couple of visitors.

What do you mean?

Well, evidently

they saw Kelly
playing your guitar

and they thought she was you.

Well, what did they want?

Well, you figure that one,

we could probably
find your husband.

I do not see how
this is going to work.

Sue, you have to have

a little confidence in us.

Now, they think Kelly is you.

We want them to
keep on thinking that.

Yeah, but who are those two?

Well, the bartender at the
club said that Larry left there

with a red-haired man
and a man with a limp.

Now, that sounds
like our two friends

that tried to get in here.

Exactly.

Okay, fine, but why
did they come here?

I mean, what did
they want with me?

KELLY: That's what
we're going to find out,

Mrs. Kantrelle.

When and if they make
another move for you...

Me... we'll be ready.

Meanwhile, we'll
put you in a hotel,

out of sight and safe.

Bye.

Listen, I love my husband.

I just want him back.

Look, you just try
not to worry about it,

and we'll let you know as
soon as we get anything, okay?

Be back in an hour.

All right. Bye-bye.

Phew.

That's it.

Okay, how do we play it?

Well, you're going
to be Sue Kantrelle

here and at the restaurant.

Now, if they try to
grab you, we grab them.

Bosley will be close
by to protect you,

and we'll work it out
with the restaurant owner.

With my singing,

I'm going to need more
than Bosley to protect me.

Hey, wait a minute. You told
me you were lead alto in glee club.

Listen, as an alto in
glee club, I was fair,

but as a torch singer
in a supper club,

no way.

What is your vocal range?

Poor to awful.

I got it.

What we need here,
you see, is the right dress.

There's a direct correlation

between a woman's
chest and a man's ears.

I have not heard
this theory before.

I haven't either.

Well, you see,

the lower the neckline,
the more tone deaf they are.

Oh, that is very tacky.

I should not have asked.

Yeah.

Okay, so much for
me being a decoy.

What do we do in the meantime?

Well, I think we should trace

all of Larry
Kantrelle's movements

on the morning he disappeared.

Okay. Where do we start?

We start at the beginning.

We start where he started.

At work.

Let's go.

Okay.

Here it is.

Kamikaze Kantrelle's
delivery sheet.

Kamikaze Kantrelle?

Yeah, well,

we give each other
nicknames here.

My name is John Black.

They call me Blackjack.

John, Jack... John Black.

Because I'm 21 years old.

Ah.

Twenty-one. Blackjack. Get it?

Yeah, we got it.

Oh, you like to gamble, do you?

Doesn't everybody?

You win at it?

What?

Blackjack.

I play the horses.

Oh, good.

No good.

I lose.

Well, nobody's perfect.

You're about the
closest I've seen.

I'll bet you want to know

why we nicknamed
Kantrelle "Kamikaze."

He's a mind-reader.

Because he's k*lling himself.

k*lling himself how?

The best way.

I'm sorry.

Uh, you lost me.

Well, when Kantrelle services

some of his customers,

he really gets involved.

Do you follow?

No, not completely.

Look at this.

Mrs. Harriet Cole,
nine yards of gravel.

Mrs. Jefferson Tate,

10 cubic yards of top soil.

Mrs. Nancy Coleman,

10 cubic yards of top soil.

Are you trying to tell us

that Kamikaze brings
more to these relationships

than mere earth?

She's getting the picture.

Well, it sounds
like Mr. Kantrelle's

quite a fella.

There's one that's
not on the list.

Rosie.

Rosie?

A place he eats
breakfast every morning.

Rosie's Chili.

But not to him.

Right on.

Blackjack, you're a card.

Any time.

Good luck.

Well, what do you think?

I think it could be
a jealous boyfriend

or a husband.

Or both.

Mm-hmm.

Who do you want?

I'm going to take Mrs.
Nancy Coleman. Okay?

Okay. I'll take
Rosie. I love chili.

Beans, beans... Would you stop?

[TRACTOR RUMBLING]

Hello.

Hi.

Nice tractor.

What?

I said, I like your tractor.

Model A-11.

Special transmission I put in.

Handy.

Um, listen, could we, uh...

could we talk a minute?

About the tractor?

No.

About Larry Kantrelle.

Don't know anyone by that name.

Well, that's funny.

He dumped that pile of dirt here

yesterday morning.

[ENGINE TURNS OFF]

Who are you

and what have you
got to do with Larry?

Oh, it's, uh...
it's "Larry," is it?

Just get to the point.

Well, the point is,
he's disappeared.

Who says?

Uh... I think I just said it.

And where do you fit in to this?

Well, Mrs. Kantrelle hired
me to find her husband,

and since you and
Larry are more than, uh...

just friends...

Lady, you got the
wrong information.

I don't think so, Mrs. Coleman.

It is "Mrs." Coleman, isn't it?

Right. "Mrs."

Is your husband on the premises?

He's out of town for a few days.

The National Wrist
Wrestling Championship.

He's in the finals.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

He almost broke my arm
making me practice with him.

Big gorilla.

No, no, I mean, you
sure he's out of town?

You saying he ain't?

No, no, no.

I'm just saying that, um...

that if you and Larry
are more than friends,

and your husband's
the jealous type...

Look, he doesn't know
anything about me and Larry,

unless, of course, you've
been blabbing your mouth.

No, no, no.

I've never met your husband.

Now, there were a
couple of pretty rough guys

at Larry's apartment, but...

You keep messing
into my business,

you could get me in big trouble.

Your gorilla gets a little mean?

More than mean.

Sounds like you're
living dangerously.

So are you.

I got to get back to work.

Right.

Uh, thank you.

Uh, nice talking to you.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

That was just a warning.

Don't come around here again.

You know what?

I take it back.

I don't like your
tractor at all.

Hi.

Hi. I'll have coffee.

Bottom of the pot.

It's a sure wake-up.

Ew. Do you have tea?

Only in a bag.

I'll adjust.

I'm looking for a
mutual friend of ours.

Larry Kantrelle.

So am I.

He didn't show up
here this morning.

Well, that's just it.

He hasn't shown up anywhere.

Larry a friend of yours?

Well, one of his many,
if you know what I mean.

Yeah.

I think you do.

Yeah, that Larry,
he's an original.

Sure is.

You know, I'm a little
bit worried about him.

Was he okay when
you saw him yesterday?

Oh, he was fine.

Mad as hell, but he was fine.

What was he mad about?

Just as he drives in,

some dummy in a
Toyota runs into a Caddy

and causes a traffic jam,

so Larry can't get
the truck parked,

then the cops keep him out there

answering all
sorts of questions,

because he's a witness.

I open at six,

and I close every
morning from 9:30 to 10

for Larry... when he shows up.

Ah.

You mean, he comes here
for more than breakfast?

Well, that's all he
had time for yesterday.

Oh, because of the accident?

Boy, was he ticked off.

Roger saw the whole thing

from his dress shop
across the street.

The whole thing was very odd.

Odd?

Well, this man in that
Caddy threw something.

Threw something? What?

Well, it was a brown,

square-shaped sort of a package.

I was putting this
dynamite new pantsuit

in the window and I really

wasn't paying that
much attention.

How many people
were in this Caddy?

Well, I couldn't really tell.

I just got a glimpse
of the red-headed man

who did the throwing.

This red-haired man, where
did he throw this package?

Um... it was toward
the back of the truck,

but I'm not sure.

I was concentrating
on that new outfit.

You know, you would
look smashing in it.

It's gray corduroy

and it has this
plunging neckline.

Excuse me.

Did Larry see this man
throw this package?

Well, as I recall, it went
right over Larry's head,

but most things do,

if you know what I mean.

[ROSIE CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, Roger... okay,
one more question.

Do you think this package

could have gone
into Larry's truck?

Well, I guess it could have.

Roger, you're a prince.

Thanks.

Listen, what about the pantsuit?

Oh, you'll look terrific in it.

KRIS: While Larry Kantrelle
was dealing with the accident,

a red-haired man in the Caddy

threw a brown
package of some sort

into the truck.

On purpose?

I think so.

What for?

To hide it, maybe?

From who?

The police who
were at the accident?

It's possible.

Now, the man with the limp

who left here with Larry

tried to grab Sue Kantrelle.

The man with him was a redhead.

Okay, thanks, Charlie.

Well, Charlie checked
the accident report

on the Caddy and Toyota.

The Caddy was a renter
under assumed names.

They found it about
two hours ago.

Huh. I wonder

why I'm not
surprised to hear that.

Me either.

Dare I suggest that
we're making progress?

Suggest it over a drink.

I've got to go get
ready for my debut.

Are you nervous?

Oh, yes!

[LAUGHING]

That broad with
Kantrelle's wife,

she's the same one

who was with her
in the apartment.

She sees you, she's
going to start screaming.

You two'll have to
handle it without me.

You better move now,

before the musicians get here.

Hey, you remembered Tuesday.

Hi.

Scotch, rocks.

I love a man that
doesn't forget.

Well, I guess I'll
go get ready now.

Listen, be sure

to lock your dressing room door

and I'll be back in a minute.

Okay.

Don't be nervous.

Grasshopper?

Good idea.

See?

Sometime I could be right.

You're a giant among men.

I'll have a straight bourbon.

Okay.

What do we have?

We've got Kantrelle
leaving Rosie's

with a load of soil

and a package he
might not know he has.

He goes to Nancy
Coleman's ranch,

he dumps the soil
and the package.

And then I mention Larry
Kantrelle to Mrs. Coleman

and she tries to drive
her tractor up my back

and dump her shovel on my head.

Question is, why?

I mean, is she scared

that her husband's
going to find out

she's playing around
with Kamikaze Kantrelle,

or does this have
something to do

with the package?

Maybe you ought to go back

to Mrs. Coleman's farm,

take a look at
that pile of dirt.

Me? No way.

I will not go back there until
we know what's going on,

I have a search
warrant or something.

The lady will sh**t
me for trespassing.

Happy times.

Oh, yes.

Well, I think I'll go check

and see how Kelly's
nerves are holding up.

Tell her to break a leg.

Hmm?

That's an old show-biz term.

I'll tell you...
I'll tell you...

I'll just tell her myself, Bos.

Oh, okay.

See you.

Well, uh... to good health.

Right.

Two clinks.

Okay, thank you.

Who is it?

It is I, your most
ardent admirer.

Just a minute.

Regular guys can't make it.

We're just sitting in for them.

Ta-da!

Ah, Mrs. Kantrelle. You
have never looked so...

It's okay. She fainted.

Give her a little air.

Hey, you got your
backstage excitement.

[GROANS]

Bosley!

Bosley, are you okay?

Kelly... Back way.

Got to be the back way.

[HONKING HORN]

Would you move it?

Would you move it?

Get out of the way!

Come on, get out of the way!

[HONKING HORN]

Will you get out of the way?

Forget it. Forget it.

Forget it, forget it. Forget it.

Can you describe them?

I never really saw them.

Did you get the license number?

No.

The curly-haired man,

the one the bartender
said had the limp,

left here with Larry Kantrelle,

and then he tries

to get into Mrs.
Kantrelle's apartment.

With a red-headed man.

And there was a red-headed
man in the Cadillac

who threw the package
into Kantrelle's truck.

It all makes sense, but
what does it add up to?

Well, we know that
they rented the Caddy

under a phony name,
then they abandoned it.

Yeah?

Well, maybe something
in the package was stolen.

It's a possibility.

It's about the only
thing we've got to go on.

Well, we'd better

come up with some answers fast,

because when they find out

that they've got the
wrong Mrs. Kantrelle.

Kelly's as good as dead.

Yeah. Let's go.

How are you doing?

Bad?

You're saying

your husband never
saw the package?

Look, if he did,

I don't remember
him mentioning it.

Why don't you tell
me what was in it

and maybe I can help
you figure out where it is.

There was five million
in diamonds in it.

Five million?

Hey, wait a minute.

The Consolidated heist.

She reads the papers.

Very smooth operation.

You fellas are very good.

It's all in the planning, lady.

This one took two years.

I get it.

You got into that freak
accident with the Toyota.

The police came
to ask questions,

and you had to dump the
package in Larry's truck.

Now you'd better
figure out where it is,

or you and the country boy

are gonna pay for
it out of your hides,

and from what I
can see, you're about

four and a half million short.

Here. Drink this.

Who are you?

How about where am I?

[DOOR OPENS]

When did he come around?

Just now.

Okay, country boy. Okay.

Let's get to the
bottom line quick, huh?

You either tell me
where the diamonds are,

or your pretty little wife here

is going to start
picking up some bruises.

What the devil are
you talking about?

Honey, listen to me.

When you had the
accident outside Rosie's,

they threw a package
into your truck.

It was full of diamonds.

Who are... It doesn't
matter who they are.

I'm your wife, and I love you,

and you better listen carefully

to what I have to say,

or we're both in big trouble.

Do you understand
what I'm telling you?

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Good.

Now, after you left Rosie's, do
you remember where you dumped

the soil you were carrying?

Yeah, I remember.

Good. Just keep remembering
and don't tell them.

If we're going
to get out of this

still breathing,
don't tell them.

What's you trying to pull?

It's called surviving, friend.

You want back
your diamonds, fine.

We'll go for them together.

I'm not taking you
anywhere, lady.

You're gonna tell
me where they are,

and you're gonna tell me now.

So you can put a b*llet
in us? No deal, friend.

You want to get back
all the pretty rocks,

then we'll go for them together,

and when we get
there, we'll negotiate.

How'd you like for me
to start taking him apart,

piece by piece?

It seems to me you take
one more piece of him

and he won't be in any
shape to tell you anything.

Okay.

Okay, lady.

We'll play it your way,

but if you come
up sorry and short,

you're dead.

In fact, you're both dead.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Larry, what are you doing here?

Who are all these people?

Hello, Nancy.

What we need to do, lady,

won't take long if we don't
play any head games, all right?

Who's he? What's
he talking about?

We've just come to get something
that belongs to us, that's all.

I think you better do
what he says, Nancy.

Well, hey, what is this?

Nancy!

What are they doing?

You've heard of the good
guys and the bad guys?

Yeah, I made some
of them what they are.

I'll bet you did.

Anyway, these are the bad guys.

They ripped off some diamonds,

which accidentally got thrown

into Larry's truck,

and then got dumped here.

Diamonds?

Five million dollars' worth.

In that pile of dirt?

That's right.

Who is this crazy broad?

Uh...

my wife.

Your wife?

You told me your
wife was dumb and fat.

Well, uh... she, uh...

Every time he has
a lady customer,

he tells them I'm dumb and fat.

How many customers
you got, Larry?

Well, Nancy, uh... Dozens.

I guess he said he
was going to marry you.

How'd you know that?

I know my Larry.

LARRY: What are you doing?

Look, why don't
you people just...

just shut up for awhile, huh?

[HONKS HORN]

Whose truck is that?

Uh, George Keller. My neighbor.

Get rid of him.

Well, good morning.

Howdy.

Hi.

What are you doing
in George's truck?

Oh, well, George
sold us the truck.

We bought the farm, too.

We're your new neighbors.

Hey, what are you fellas doing?

All right, neighbor.
Back off! Back off!

Forget it!

Move down.

Come on, come on.

Well, sparkle, sparkle...

Whoa.

Whew.

Sort of makes you

want to hum The Wedding March.

Not anymore, it doesn't.

CHARLIE: Sabrina, how could
you be sure that Kelly and Kantrelle

would go to Nancy
Coleman's farm?

Well, we checked all of
Kantrelle's other stops first,

and then we figured that
Nancy Coleman's farm

was the only logical place
we could hope to connect.

And we couldn't
just drive in there

with our faces hanging out,

so we borrowed the
neighbor's truck and clothes.

I see.

I understand that Sue Kantrelle

finally opened at
the Supper Club

and was an instant hit.

That's right, Charlie.

She was a smash.

Everybody loved her,

and Larry was front row center

leading the applause.

Good. Sounds like their marriage

is on the mend.

Well, Larry better keep
his home fires burning,

or he's going to be
spending all his nights

with his dump truck.

[SITAR PLAYING ON INTERCOM]

Uh, Charlie,

now, that music
that I'm hearing,

how are your lessons
coming on the sitar?

Oh, quite well, Sabrina.

You know,

it's an extremely
personal experience.

It demands a very careful touch,

very delicate fingering.

Charlie,

it sounds like you're
really grasping it.

I think I am, Kris,

and tomorrow, I actually get

to pick up the instrument.

If he hadn't picked
up the instrument,

what has he been doing?

[CHARLIE SIGHS]

Strike the question.

Oh, no.