04x20 - Good Sports/Geriantics

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like
ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over
laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can
smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[rousing music]

♪ ♪

- Who's ready
for some football?

[all gasp]

- Game time!
Yeah! Whoo!

- TV's all yours, dude.
Just don't tackle us.

- World Championship
of Football!

- Huh? That ball looks
nothing like a foot.

- Guys, stay and watch with me!

It's the world championship
game, and the Lions are in it

for the first time
in years, baby!

- Uh, okay, I don't know
what any of that means.

- Well, all the teams compete
in this league, and--

- [clears throat]
Ignorance is bliss, sweetie.

- Aw, come on!

I'll share my
lucky cheese puffs.

- Ew!
The uniforms clash!

I cannot watch this.

- Maybe I'll come back
to see who's rocking

the half time show.Laters!

- [sighs]
Well Charles,

looks like you're
my sports buddy today.

- [yawns]

- Aw, you don't know what
you're missing, mutt.

Okay, cheering section's
down to one.

Time for my pre-game ritual.

Go, Lions, go!
Go, Lions, go!

[roars]
Left side, lucky!

Alright, Lions.
Let's do this.

- Touchdown, Lions!

[crowd cheering]
- Aw, yeah, high five, Loud!

[deep voice]
You got it, Loud!

- Aw yeah!
Touchdown, baby!

- What?
Mr. Grouse?

[investigative music]

♪ ♪

- Whatever you're selling,
I'm not buying!

- No, Mr. Grouse, it's me!
Lynn Loud!

- I'm not buying
what you're selling either!

- I just thought I heard
you watching the game.

- [long groan]

Well you thought right.
What of it?

- Can I watch it with you?

- I suppose it beats
high fiving myself.

Come on in.
TV's in the den.

- Huh.
You have a den?

- I don't have time for
architectural small talk, Loud!

The game's on!

- [gasping]

[gleaming chime]

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Are you kidding me?

This room is sick!

- Well, I would've accepted
a "comfy" but okay.

Have a seat.
- Oh, in a sec.

Go, Lions, go!
Go, Lions, go!

Hup![roars]

- What the heck are you doing?
- It's my lucky ritual.

- Oh, brother.

- Hup, hup!
- Now there--

- Sorry,
I need to sit on this side.

- Lemme guess, more luck?
- Yup.

- [whines]
I'm already regretting this.

[country music]

[slurping]

- [groans]
Do you have to make that sound?

- Sorry, got a little pulled
pork stuck in my chompers.

[slurping]
- [groans]

[remote clicking]
[crowd cheering]

- [loud munching]
- [grumbling]

♪ ♪

- You're getting
cheese dust everywhere!

- Want some?

My lucky hat!
[groaning]

Ugh.
Missed a spot.

- And the Lions fumble!
- Ugh!

Are you kidding me?!
- [snoring]

♪ ♪

- Huh?
Eeee--

Oof! What?
- Come on, man.

This is
the world championship!

- Aw, get off my case.

I'll just rewind
to see what I missed.

What?

We can't rewind!
Then we won't be live.

- What's the difference?
- Ya know...

maybe it's better if I watch
the rest of the game at home.

- Suit yourself.

[crowd cheering]
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- Ahh! What happened?!
- We returned a kick yards!

- Aw dang, I missed it!

- Hold on, I'll rewind it--
if Queen Lynn doesn't object.

- Do it, do it, do it,
do it, do it!

- D. Driver with a stiff arm,
and he's into Rhino territory.

Finally brought down
after a yard return.

- Hoo, man!
That was a wicked run!

- I know!
Eh--you can sit back down--

if you want.
- Yeah, sure.

Maybe just for a minute.

[exciting music]
[both cheering]

- Yeah, baby!
- Up top!

- Wh--hy--hy... Oh come on!
- Oh no!

both: Go, Lions, go!
Go, Lions, go!

[both roar]

- Ro--roa--awh!
My back!

- Ten seconds left,
and the score is tied.

If the Rhinos can move
the ball close enough,

they can kick
a field goal and win.

From the shotgun.

It's a Lions interception,

and he's running it
in for a touchdown!

Lions win!
They're world champions!

[both cheering]
- ♪ Uh huh, uh huh ♪

♪ Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh ♪

Don't just stand there, G-man.
Shake it!

Dance or the Lions
won't win next year.

- What?
That's utter nonsense.

- It's not nonsense, it's fun!

- Just copy me.
- Eh, looks easy enough.

I'll give it a try.

- Now you're doing it!
Whoo, woo!

♪ Eh heh, eh heh,
Eh heh, eh heh, eh heh ♪

Woohoo!
I feel so alive!

[laughs]
- [loud chomp]

Thanks again
for inviting me over.

- Eh, technically,
you invited yourself.

I just let you stay.
- Whoa, cool ball!

- Now that, that's my most
prized possession.

It's from
the very first Lions game

Mrs. Grouse and I went to
when we were dating.

- Ha, they had
football back then?

- Yes, Miss Smarty Pants.

Hey check this out,
I got the QB to sign it.

Look at that.
- [gasps]

He's in the hall of fame now!
I'm not worthy!

I'm not worthy!
- Heh, heh, heh...

Ay, Mrs. G was
the only person I knew

who was as big
a Lions fan as me.

Until now.
Ya know what?

I want you to have this.

Mrs. Grouse would want it
to be in such good hands.

- Wow.
Thank you, Mr. Grouse.

This is the best gift
I've ever gotten.

I have to get you
something special!

Hmm.

[grunts]

Here.
My lucky socks.

- Wow, you wore these
the whole season, didn't you?

Thanks, Loud.

- So guess I'll see
you next season?

- You betcha!

- Ya know, baseball season
is only a few weeks away.

- I was thinking
the same thing.

Opening day?
- It's date.

[jazzy music]

[birds chirping]

- Who's ready for some
baseball!

[all gasp]
- TV's all yours, dude.

Just don't slap our butts.
- Oh, thanks,

but you guys can stay.
I found a sports buddy.

So for the next games,

I'll be hanging
with Mr. Grouse.

Laters!

- Hmm, guess I taped this
pillow to my butt for nothing!

- Heh, heh, heh!
[knocking]

- Let's go Volcanoes!
- Give 'em what for, Meteors!

- [gasps]
- [gasps]

- You're a Meteors fan?

- You're a Volcanoes fan?

Aww.
- But--they're bitter rivals.

[suspenseful music]

- Aw, come on,
we'll make it work.

- Welcome to opening day,

and the first
of a three-game series

between the Volcanoes
and the Meteors.

- You and your Meteors
are going down.

- In your dreams!

- Aw, yeah, base hit!Game on.


- Strike three!

There is no stopping
this Meteors pitcher!

- [blows raspberry]

- And he's safe at home,
one to nothing, Volcanoes!

- Whoo!
In your face, G-man!

- [grumbling]

- And that ball
is out of here!

It's a two-run homer!

- Ah ha ha!
In your own face, kid!

- Agh.

[rubber twisting]
- Home run!

The Meteors win!
- [cheering]

- ♪ Uh huh, uh huh,
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh ♪

- Hey, get your own
ding-dang moves!

That's my victory dance.

- Well, you won't need it as
long as you're a Volcanoes fan.

Heh heh heh!
- Ooh, that does it.

[door creaks and slam]
Here, you can have this back.

I don't want any presents
from traitors.

- Egh--Fantastic!

You can have your
dumb smelly socks back too.

- You know what?
We're done here.

- We were done when you
showed up in the wrong jersey!

[door slams]

[birds chirping]

- Ooh, you're watching
baseball here?

I thought Mr. Grouse
was your sports buddy now.

- Yeah, that didn't work out.

'Cause someone's a traitor!

- Takes one to know one, Loud!

- ♪ Dramaaa ♪

- Stay and watch the game
with me, Lols.

I'll explain the rules to you.

See, there are nine defensive
players on the diamond and--

- A diamond, you say?

How many karats is it?
Who wears it?

A pretty princess
in a pink gown?

- What? No, no, no.

A diamond is another term
for the field.

Now, the pitcher--
- Yeah, no.

You should stick
with Mr. Grouse.

- [snoring]

[crowd cheering]

- Welcome to game
two of the Volcanoes

and the Meteors series.

- [sighs]
[sad music]

- Ooh, that's a sh*t
going back.

That ball's out of here!
A Volcanoes home run!

- Aw yeah, up high, Loud!

[deep voice]
You got it, Loud.

- And the fans
are going crazy!

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

- And the Meteors turn
an incredible double play!

- Aw.
- Whoo-hoo!

Give 'em what for, Meteors!

- [grunts]

Hey, uh--
nice double play!

[anxious music]

- Thanks, Loud!

That was a sweet homer before.

- [laughs]

- Strike three, and another
Meteor goes down swinging.

- Gonna be a quick game
if you guys can't hit!

- Well, I don't see
your Vo-lame-os

putting up
any more runs!

- Ha ha!
That's pretty good.

- The Meteors are up to bat...
- [loud crunching]

Home run, Meteors!
That ball is outta here!

- [whines]

- That's what
I'm talking about!

Awfully quiet over there,
aren't ya?

- Just giving you
a chance to celebrate,

'cause you aren't
getting another!

- Are we gonna
do this all day?

Grab your cheese puffs
and get over here!

[upbeat music]

If only your Volcanoes
could run bases as fast as you.

- Another Meteor strikes out!

- Whoo! I can feel
the breeze from here.

- [chuckles]
That's a good one.

[both chomping]

- I know baseball season's
just started, but uh--

what are you doing
in the fall?

You like hockey?
- Do I?!

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- "...and that's why you never
mix rhenium and terbium.

The end."
- [yawns]

I love a happy ending.
- [chuckles] Me too.

- Oh, how's your project going?

Your mom said you had
a big breakthrough.

- Indeed, I have.

If my work continues
to progress this pace,

human teleportation should be
a reality in years.

- That's fantastic, kiddo.

I'm sure sorry
I won't be around to see that,

but I know you can do it.

Now, where's my Lisa hug?

Aww.
Night, sweetie.

- Won't be around to see that?

But I'd already penciled him in

to be plus one for
the Nobel Prize reception.

I need to make sure Pop Pop

will still be around
in years,

and our friend science
will help!

I better put on a pot of cocoa,
this could be a late one.

- Hmm.
[grunts]

[jazz music]

- [wheezes]

[gasps]
Eureka!

Look here, Lily.

There's a village in Italy

whose residents live
well into their hundreds!

This woman is years old!

- [gasping]

- I know!
- [babbling]

- Ah, I see.

You just want your pacifier,

but if you understood,
you would be impressed.

- [giggling]

- Now all I need to do
is apply the basic principles

of their healthy Italian
lifestyle to Pop Pop.

- [groans]

- What do you wanna do, Lis?

Eat soft pretzels,
catch a movie?

- I had something else in mind.

A nice, brisk walk.

- Oh.
Okay, sure.

- See I've been doing
some research

on increasing human life span
and thought we could make

some modifications
to your lifestyle.

- Well, ha, I suppose a nice
stroll never hurt anyone.

- Precisely, now if you'll just
put this around your wrist.

It's a heart monitor.
No point in a brisk walk

if we aren't elevating
the heart rate, now is there?

- All right, kiddo,
you set the pace.

- Hmm...
- Are you ready, Riker?

- [giggling]

- [gasps]
Hmm...

[tires squealing]

[rock music]

- Ungh!
Ahh!

[engine revving]

[beeping]

Whoa!
Ohh!

[mellow jazz music]

[all gasp]
- Oh, yes.

- Ooh, look at that.
- Wow!

- This is even juicier than
that Kobe Beef I had in Kyoto.

- And these potatoes taste like
they were kissed by angels!

♪ ♪

- Uh...

Think I got
someone else's order.

- Nope!
That raw fish is for you.

I've made arrangements
with the chef for you

to get special meals
from now on.

- Oh.

Is this part
of my new lifestyle?

- Indeed.

This nutrient-dense meal

is sure to increase
your lifespan.

You'll be having it for
breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[fish squelches]

- [gags]

[beeps]

- Lis, sweetie, can we
turn down the thermostat?

I'm boiling like a lobster.

- Aw, try to hang in there.

My research shows that
exposure to extreme heat

followed by extreme cold will
help rejuvenate your cells.

- Uh, what's this
extreme cold

you're talking about?

- Oh, forget this!

- You're weak, Bernie! Weak!
[teeth chatter]

- I'm not so sure
about this, Lis.

- Please, Pop Pop.
It's necessary.

[determined music]

- [inhales deeply]
Ahh!

Hot diggedy dog!

Okay, I'm good!

- Nuh-uh!
minutes!

- You--get--used--to it.

- [whimpers]

- Okie doke, this
is all the info you need

for your new lifestyle.

Please, stick to this guide.

- I'll do my best, kiddo.

Now, where's my Lisa hug?

[affectionate murmurs]

- Ha! Mission accomplished.

- Here we are, Lis.
Ready to hit the sales?

- Hm--no thank you.
I'm not here to buy.

I am here to spy!

[goggles whir]

[spy music]

♪ ♪

[goggles whirs and beeps]
- Hmm...

Looks like Pop Pop's
doing well.

He's even gotten some other
seniors on board

with his new regimen.

Wait up, Pop Pop!

all: Eh?
Hmm?

- Oh, uh, never mind.
My apologies.

[gasps]

- Al, hurry up!
The bus is leaving!

- Hang on,
my top coat's still wet!

[groaning]

- That wasn't the brisk
exercise I prescribed.

Guess I'm going to have to keep
a close eye on him,

but I'm going
to need a disguise.

Hmm...

[scheming music]

- [snoring]

- [pained gulp]
- Mm-hmm.

- [moans]

Oh yeah!

♪ ♪

- At least he's sticking
to the cold pool.

- Cannon ball!
Whoo!

- Hey!
It's warmer than bath water!

[both laughing]

- Now watch out.
I'm a shark!

- [sighs] I suppose it is only
human nature to resist change,

but there must be some way
to prolong Pop Pop's life

without requiring him
to put in so much effort.

[whoosh]
- Gahh!

[suspenseful music]

[electrical zapping]

♪ ♪

[electrical pulsating]

- [whines]
[exploding]

[gasping]

- [groans]
- Mmm?

[mechanical clamoring]

- [cooing]
- Behold, youngest sibling!

My new improved method
to elongate Pop Pop's life.

[computerized beeping]
- Heh?

- Well, it's quite
simple really.

These sensors will
regulate his temperature,

improve his muscle tone,
and much more...

As long as he wears them, he's
guaranteed to live a long life.

Hmm. Hmm.

But I suppose the whole thing
is a bit of an eyesore.

Good thing I have Leni to
turn to for fashion help.

[birds chirping]

♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm hmm ♪

[ravenous scarfing]

- [innocent whistling]

- No need to hide the evidence

of your frozen delicacy,
Pop Pop.

I've made some adjustments
to my plan,

and you'll
no longer be restricted

to the raw fish diet.

- [sighs] Glad to hear it.

What's with
the change of heart, kiddo?

- Aw, I realized that
the regimen was too taxing,

so I came up
with an alternative.

- Ooh!

- Inside are sensors
that will extend your lifespan

without requiring any changes
to your daily behavior.

- So I can go back to living
my life the way it was before?

- As long as
you're wearing the suit.

- You got a deal!

- Target on the left, Pop Pop!
- I see him.

Boom!
Ha ha!

- Dang, Al!
Great suit.

You're sure looking fly!

- Ha ha ha!
Thanks!

My granddaughters
made it for me.

- We're just on the way to
the pharmacy for some gossip

and lotto tickets.
Wanna join?

- Sure, that sounds--
[negative beeping]

- Ah, ah, ah!
Not so fast.

Your suit's
battery power is low.

Come on, I set up a charging
station in your room.

Excuse us, gentlemen.

- Whoa!

[electrical pulsing]

So how long do I have
to sit in this thing?

- The suit needs to charge
for three hours.

- Hmm, guess I better
wet my whistle, first.

[negative beeping]
- Nyah!

You must remain
perfectly still.

The sensors cannot disengage
from the charger.

- Got it. Ha.

Sure hope this thing doesn't
need to be charged often.

- Just five times a day.

[musical sting]

- [groaning]

[positive beeping]

- [snoring]
Fantastic.

The suit is all charged up!

What shall we do now, Pop Pop?
- [grunting]

Ooh, how about we play some
shuffleboard with my buds?

- Aw, sorry, Pop Pop.
We can't go outside.

The rays from the sun could
damage the sensors in the suit.

- Ugh, guess I'll
just play shuffleboard

at night from now on.

- Well, as long as
there's no moon out.

Obviously, moonlight
is just sunlight

reflected off the moon.

- [whimpering]
[watch chiming]

- Oh, actually, I should
probably head home for dinner.

- Wait, where's
my big Lisa hug?

- [squeals] No, no.
You can't touch anyone.

- What?

- The oils from human skin

could damage the sensors.

From now on,
you'll need to refrain

from all physical contact.

- Aw...so no more Lisa hugs?

[somber music]

No more high fives
with Seymour?

No more dancing with Myrtle?

Lis, we need to have a talk.

♪ ♪

Thank you for making this suit.

It's a super swell idea,

but I don't think
I can wear it anymore.

- What?
Why?

- Well, it's sweet you want me
to live a long life,

but I wanna be able to play
shuffleboard in the sun,

and eat crispy potatoes
every day,

and a life without Lisa hugs?

Well, that's no life at all.

- Hm...I see.

So you're saying,

what's the extra time good for
if you won't get to enjoy it?

- Exactly!

Besides, I've still got lots
of great years ahead of me,

and spending time
with my grandkids

is the part I look
forward to the most.

- Aww, I'm looking forward
to that too.

Lisa hug?
[affectionate murmurs]

- [robot voice]
Physical contact detected.

[both laugh]

- You know, I still have
a little time before dinner.

Let's say we ditch the suit
and hit the shuffleboard court?

- I'd love that.

[mellow jazz music]

- Hey, Al, wanna take a sh*t?
- Yes, I do!

♪ ♪

- [groans]

- Nooo!

- Ha ha!
Yeah!

[crashing]

- Woo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
- [laughing]

- Glad I can still cut a rug
with my sweetheart.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Pop Pop?

Can I ask you to do one thing?
- Sure.

- Just keep being you.

- Don't have to ask me twice.

Now who wants
to play another round?

[scooter whirring
and screeching]

- Wahoo!
Scoots is gonna live forever!

[laughs]

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

[upbeat music]