02x01 - The Premiere

[bunniefuu]

Any sign of them?

No, sir.

Where to now?

Quiet.

What is that?

What in God's name?

What is this?

They must have gone this way.

Captain.

They found us.

Then we make our stand here.

They couldn't have gotten very far.

What are we witnessing?

Duck!

Howe! Get down!

Yah!

What exactly does it look like?

It looks like lead.

It's very rare in this world,
so start searching.

- Lead?
- Yeah.

Like gray rocks?

Mm-hmm.

Gray rocks. Gray rocks.

If only I could find some gray rocks.

You ever think that if the b*llet
that sh*t out of that door

went another inch to the left
and didn't hit Eden,

you'd be nothing more
than a glob of metal on the ground?

Yeah, well, it didn't miss.

Hey, what are you doing in here?
These caverns, they flood at high tide.

No one's allowed in here.

Well, this is super annoying.
What are you guys even doing here?

Shouldn't you be out
saving ships or something?

What the hell is that?

Stop right now and put your hands up.

If you say so.

♪ No more deceptions ♪

♪ No more lies ♪

♪ You're a walking cliché ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ Call me angel one more time ♪

♪ Call me angel... ♪

♪ You said I only love you when I'm ♪

♪ Lying here lonely ♪

♪ Monday morning muse ♪

♪ I love you ♪

Can I borrow the Head Key?

Yeah, do you have the Mending Key?
Need it to fix my dress for the premiere.

There you go. Mmm.

Are you nervous?

Honestly, I'm totally fine.

"About starring in the low-budget movie
where the villain is a giant lobster."

That's one plus
of taking the fear out of your head.

Just to clarify,
it's not a low-budget movie.

It's a zero-budget movie.

And the lobster,
he's not really the villain.

He's more misunderstood.

My bad.

- You're coming, right?
- Are you kidding?

I wouldn't miss it for anything.

Bode, is that you?

Bode?

Bode, what... what are you...

Somebody got it in here...

...so it's got to be possible to get it out.

How... How are you...

I... I don't...

I found a new key, Mom.

I'm calling it the Hercules Key
because it makes you super strong.

You found a key? I...

I wish that you could remember magic.
It'd be so much easier.

Remember what?

What are you doing up here?

Moving stuff to help fix up Duncan's room.

Well, that's really nice of you.

You know, I think he's really excited
to be staying with us.

Hey, how'd you move that couch?

Did Tyler help you?

I sorta did it myself.

Wow, my little man.

You're getting so strong!

Hey, that's a cool belt.

- Did you find that in one of the boxes?
- I found it in one of the other rooms.

All right. Well, don't forget,

Duncan and Brian
are coming for dinner tonight.

Hey, throw me the line!

Were you trying to sneak up on me?

Maybe!

Well, just so you know,
that costume is very noticeable.

- Oh.
- And it also makes a weird chafing sound.

That chafing is actually not just a sound.

How's it going?

It's pretty binary, honestly.

People see the costume
and either wanna come to the screening

or, you know, not so much.

But I have an idea.

Yeah?

I was thinking
we should work the street together.

Misunderstood lobster,

an eco-warrior slash beautiful heroine,
hand in hand. I think it'd work.

Excuse me. What's this all about?

Oh my God, it's working.

Um, good afternoon.

We are having the world premiere screening
of our movie, The Splattering,

at the Strand Theater in Matheson.

Oh, this isn't a new lobster restaurant?

No, no, it's a movie.

Maybe we'll check it out.

Okay!

I don't think they're coming.

- Let's get ice cream.
- Sure. Yeah.

They've got a community board
where we can put up fliers.

- Yeah.
- We can say hi to Scot.

Oh, Scot quit.

Yeah, he got, you know,
pretty busy finishing the movie,

and he needed more time to work on it.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'll just put up flyers
in here anyway.

I'll be right back.

Okay,
so based on talking to my counselor,

these are "likelies,"
these are "less likelies,"

and these are "I wish" schools
that I'll probably never get into.

You're smart. You're organized.

You're a good student.
What college wouldn't want you?

We should talk about this.
How far we're gonna be from each other.

What are you thinking?

Let's go out and enjoy the day.
Let's go for a walk by the lighthouse.

- Mmm, I can't.
- Come on.

I still have to do half my summer reading,
and school's only a week away.

Right. And the idea that you
are gonna spend it inside reading books

is completely ridiculous.

I could read outside.

I've got a better idea.

Okay.

Voilà! Summer reading, done.

You're supposed to enjoy
the process of reading.

You totally did.
It was just a really fast process.

The most important thing
is that now we actually get to hang out

and enjoy the rest of the summer.

Plus, isn't... isn't it someone's
18th birthday coming up in a few weeks?

Mm-hmm.

- We gotta do something epic to celebrate.
- Epic?

- Mmm.
- Well, that's a high bar.

Let me worry about that.

Hey, Daniel.

Hey, brought you some tomatoes
from my garden.

Oh, they're so nice.

Come on in.

Can you get the door?

So I wanna catch up
on the Ellie situation.

Is there something new?

Well, yes and no.

So when you have something
like a missing person or a m*rder,

the hard truth is
there is this short window of time

when you have your best sh*t
at solving the crime.

After that,
your chances at solving that case,

well, they go down exponentially.

We're kinda right there
with Ellie's case right now.

It's been three months.

We have no fresh leads.

We're reclassifying it as a cold case.

If anything new comes up,
we'll jump on it.

But otherwise, there's nothing we can do.

Do you make some sort of declaration?

Not right away.

After five years,
she'll be officially declared dead.

Daniel.

I know you did everything you could do.

This one hurts.

I'm sorry.

Hey, have you been in contact
with Rufus? How's he doing?

Bode talks to him.

He's still in Nebraska
with his aunt and uncle.

He seems to be doing well,
all things considered.

Well,

that's good, at least.

Oh.

Crap.

What is all this stuff?

Boring.

Whoa!

Lock the door.

What is this supposed to do?

Now we just need
a place to operate.

Holy sh*t.

This was just sitting here?

Over there, behind the boxes.

At some point,
there was a gigantic rat living here.

A rat? Really?

Have you ever seen a rat that big?

No, but last year,
we had a rat skull in my classroom,

and it looked exactly like this.

- It's not likely.
- Really?

Is it any less likely

than moving into a house
filled with magical keys?

All right. Um, I have a plan.

Good.

What?

So we're gonna get a huge wheel of cheese,
and then we're gonna build a giant trap.

- This is not funny. I'm serious!
- Really big.

What is this giant rat thing?
Where are all the missing keys?

- What happened to Ellie?
- Hey, what's gotten into you, bud?

Just because we figured out
a few of the keys,

we think we know everything,
but there's so much more we don't know.

You're right. We don't know everything,
but... but we know that Dodge is gone.

Whatever else, we'll figure it out. Okay?

And, hey, this thing
clearly d*ed a long time ago,

so let's not put it
at the top of our list of worries.

Okay, fine,
but it still should be on the list.

What have you been up to, Kinsey?

She hardly ever gets out of her own head.

I don't know. I've been reading,
watching movies, working on my art.

She's also been visiting Erin Voss,
Rendell's old friend,

in the hospital every week.

It's nice. I don't think
she gets a lot of visitors.

Yeah, I like doing that.

I don't really remember that much.

Ah, oh, hey,
I almost forgot to mention this.

Ty, I have a very cool project for us.

What's that?

Gracie.

- Gracie?
- Gracie.

My classic 1969 Pontiac GTO.

I've always wanted to restore her,
and this would be the perfect chance.

I'm having her shipped down here
and thought we could work on her together.

You do know I know nothing about cars?

You'll learn! You'll love it.

How dare you insult me, sir!

I asked if you could
pass that plate, please.

Oh!

My pleasure.

- Arigato.
- Oh my...

What? What? I have to practice!

Brian has been listening
to Japanese language programs.

It's very impressive.

My patience.

- How long will you be in Japan?
- Six months.

My law firm is taking on
new international clients.

It's gonna be such a great adventure!

The real adventure begins
when Brian gets back from Tokyo.

We're getting married.

- Really? What?
- Oh my God!

Amazing!

Seriously? That's so great.
Way to bury the lede.

I was gonna put "we're engaged"
on a cookie cake,

but I thought that might be lame, so...

- Cheers.
- Cheers!

Cheers.

- Congratulations!
- Cheers!

So, you two talked about
where you'd like to get married?

I probably should let Duncan tell you,

but we were thinking of doing it
right here on the grounds of Keyhouse.

Oh, that would be incredible.

But, um...

- Well, are you sure Duncan wants that?
- It was his idea, actually.

He's had a mental block about this place
until you guys came along.

Aw, thanks. We'll take good care of him
when you're gone. I promise.

I know you will.

So what about you?

Seeing anybody?

No, not yet.

I haven't really put myself out there.

I see you still wear your ring.

Yeah.

I... I probably shouldn't.

It's just habit.

I think you're amazing.

Any guy would be beyond lucky
to have you in his life.

When you're ready.

Wow, that was really good.

- Yeah, it was.
- It was!

What part of no trespassing
don't you understand?

- You mean the sign back there?
- The two signs back there?

Who the hell are you?

We're the people taking this place.

So, you know,
get your sh*t and go.

What did you say?

He said,

get your sh*t and go.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna give you assholes a five-count
to turn around and head down the road.

Nobody's gonna miss this guy
in the gene pool.

One.

Two!

Three, four, five.

Here, bury him. I'm gonna get the crates.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Why didn't he just leave?

Because meat world is a land of idiots.

Is it almost ready?

It'll be ready when it's ready.

We gotta get to the movie.
The premiere's about to start.

There's gotta be
some kind of work-around this whole

"demons can't take keys
from the Lockes" thing.

Can I turn into Kinsey?

Give it a sh*t.

Didn't work.

Do you wanna know why?

I'm sure you're gonna tell me.

You can't use the Identity Key
to turn into a real person.

You can only use the Identity Key
to create a brand new person.

You turned into Lucas, and he was real.

I didn't turn into Lucas.
I already was Lucas.

I just needed a new look.

Why would you turn
into someone like Gabe?

Because no one's gonna suspect him

of being anything
more than a nerdy little kid

who's fallen in love with Kinsey.

You're doing a really good job
of selling that.

Maybe a little bit too well.

I brought you here.

I can get rid of you.

Anytime.

Do you understand?

Good.

Get ready.
I don't wanna miss my red carpet.

You're a lobster.
No one's gonna even recognize you anyway.

♪ Baby, I could f*ckin' die ♪

♪ I'll sleep right... ♪

Hi, thanks for coming. Go on, head on in.

Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.

No, no, no, no!
First three rows are VIP guests only!

We covered this at the run-through!

Doug. What if no one likes the film?
What if they think it's crap?

Do you want a therapist
or an event producer now?

Because I cannot be both. Okay?

♪ Can you see the design? ♪

Scot?

Oh! Hey. Hey.

Hey.

This is amazing.
How did you swing all of this?

Ah, what? You doubt my resourcefulness?

No, uh, Doug, he works here.
Called in a favor.

You look beautiful.

Thanks.

You've been MIA all summer.

Yeah, you know,
just focusing on the film and, you know.

Well, it's good to see you.

Yeah, you too.

Listen, come find me later 'cause there's
something I wanna talk to you about.

Okay.

Hey! Big night, man!

What's up? Congrats, man.

Yeah. Thanks.

It's really nice
to have the whole squad back together.

Yeah.

Yo! Let's get a cast and crew photo!
Come on!

All right, guys. Beautiful! Beautiful!

All right, guys, say Splattering!

Splattering!

Great. Let's get one
with the leads and the director.

♪ Their eyes all around you ♪

♪ Can you see the design? ♪

♪ In the lines
That they've drawn for you ♪

Big night! Hey, guys!

- Hey! I'm so glad you guys all came.
- Yeah, nice claw, little man.

Who's little?

That'll be 13.50.

Oh, allow me. The stars of the movie
shouldn't be buying their own popcorn.

And, uh, three more
popcorns and sodas, please.

Are you in the movie too?

Oh, no, no. Just my daughter here.

You just...
You look like you could be an actress.

Thanks.

Still got it, Nina.

- So you excited for school next week?
- Not really.

Other kids think I'm weird.

Well, hey, weird can be cool. I'm weird.

That's true. You are dating my sister.

- Oh.
- Hey!

Hey, Bode!

Hey!

Uh, it's Kinsey, right?

Yeah.

I'm sorry to fangirl. I had to tell you
how kick-ass you were in this movie.

Very Ripley,
but with a way better wardrobe.

Um, I'm Abby, by the way.
I just transferred to Matheson Academy.

Thanks, but no one's
even seen the movie yet.

How did you...

- You guys met. Wicked. Cool.
- Yeah, hey.

Abby and I spent the entire summer
in the dark together.

In the... In the editing room, that is.
Abby composed all the music.

It is... It is mental.
Like Goblin meets... meets Carpenter.

Well, it was a collaboration.

Listen, "Nephropida's Theme?"
That is all your dark, twisted brain.

Can't wait to hear it.

Yeah.

All right, let's head inside.
Seats, everybody. You ready?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Dougie!

Dude, look out!

Is that you, Austin?

Oh!

No! No! No!

Hey, you sure
this isn't too scary for you, bud?

Mmm, I've seen scarier.

Okay.

This is actual t*rture. I'm starving.

- It's on the house.
- Thanks.

I keep telling myself, five more minutes.
Thought he was a good guy, but...

Can I have three hot dogs,
nachos with extra cheese,

and a refill on my large popcorn?

All of that is just for you?

Is there a problem with that?

You must have a pretty fast metabolism

with an ass like that.

Oh.

Sorry. I forgot.

I'm not allowed
to compliment a girl's ass anymore.

You saying that you like my body?

Sure. I mean, yeah, what's not to like?

Thanks. I like it too.

Only got it a few months ago.

- Just got what? What?
- Just... Shh.

Quick bathroom break.

Now? Our big scene's coming.

You want some?

- Are you sh1tting me?
- Honestly, the service sucks here.

Surprised someone didn't bite his face off
a long time ago.

Get up! Get up!

The movie's almost over.
We need to clean up and get rid of him!

Now, Eden, get up!

I prefer my lobster flame-broiled.

- Oh! I'm so sorry.
- Oh!

- I'll go get some napkins.
- No, it's okay. I'll go. I'll go.

Enjoy the movie, Mrs. Locke?

What did you do?

Um, sorry, I don't know what you mean.

You... You were just here with a girl.

- I saw you.
- Uh...

- No.
- Yes.

You were dragging the popcorn guy
a-a-across the floor.

- I just came from the restroom.
- But, um...

No, but I...

No, I... I saw you.

Are you feeling all right, Mrs. Locke?

There you are. You missed our showdown.

Hey, sorry.

I had the best seat in the house.
I was there when we filmed it.

In a lot of ways,
Nephropida is a tragic hero.

His fatal flaw is falling for a woman
that he could never truly be with.

Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what it is.

And those effects!

So amazing! I mean, half of them I'm like,
how did they even do that?

I... I mean,

just a little bit of moviemaking magic,
you know?

Well, it was amazing.

You make me proud, kid,
even when you're covered in blood.

Thanks, Mom.

Must've got your acting chops
from your dad.

- He took theater in school. Yeah.
- He did?

By the way,
you're my new favorite monster,

and I was wondering
if you could k*ll me in the sequel.

Yeah, we have to make that happen, buddy.

Uh, we're... we're heading to the party.
You guys coming?

You bet.

Cool.

I don't think I'll look at sushi the same
after seeing that exploding fish head.

Listen, it took me three days
to set up the sh*t. Totally practical.

Nice. Well done.

Thank you.

I'm still trying to convince the Savinis
it's not a dying art.

Hey, it's getting kind of awkward
trying to hide the keys from Abby.

I think we should tell her.
I mean, obviously, if you want to.

It kinda feels like
she's part of the squad now, you know?

Sure, makes sense.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Cool.

Yo, Eden!

Baby girl, where you been all summer?

Yeah, I feel like
I haven't seen you at all.

Guessing some new guy's to blame?

Yeah! Something like that.

I'm gonna go get some punch.

♪ Damn, I have no idea
What you think you are talking about ♪

♪ I'm the one you should be
Really, really worried about ♪

♪ Swap the bottles and I'll blow up... ♪

You almost ruined the entire evening
because you can't control yourself.

And I am this close.

You know, I'm hearing a lot of "I,"
not a lot of "we." Why am I helping you?

Because I told you to.

Remember, I'm an echo. I can't die.

You, on the other hand...

Now let's go.

♪ I need the ones I can depend on ♪

♪ Make me love long enough
Break it up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'mma blow up like time b*mb ♪

Hey, where have you been?

Hey, I, uh... I...
I'm actually not feeling that great.

Yeah, I'm probably just gonna head home.

Really?

I'm sorry. I know that tonight
was a really big deal for you.

I promise I'll make it up, okay?

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Still cold?

Warmer now.

I still can't get over those effects.

The seaweed wrapping itself
around that guy's waist

and lifting him up to the lighthouse,

how do you afford that
on a student film budget?

They obviously had some help.

What? Are Doug's parents, like,
secret millionaires or something?

Uh, no, I mean,
they had some, uh... some key contributors.

You really don't know what I'm...
They used the keys, Jack.

What keys?

Are you joking?

Are you?

You...

You just watched me use one
to light the fire.

Yeah, I remember now.

Sorry, I don't know what happened.
I just spaced.

Kinsey!

Hey!

Hey! I was looking for you.

Found me!

So listen.
I... I want to tell you something.

So...

You and Abby are together?
She's awesome. It's great.

No, no, no, no. I mean, yeah,
she is... she is... she is awesome.

I'm sure her girlfriend, Beth,
would agree with you.

Uh, no, she and I are just strictly mates.

This is something else.

♪ Oh the hours tongue-tied ♪

♪ Ahh-ha ♪

Um, I applied, sort of just like for kicks
and with very little hope of anything,

for a film program at Rochester College.

And lo and behold,
they've actually contacted me,

and it's down to me
and one other applicant.

- You're already applying to college?
- Yeah, no. College in England's different.

This is like a boarding school.

But if I do get it,

I'll... I'll be leaving in...
in a few weeks.

A few weeks?

Yeah. Back to England.

Oh.

Um...

The Savinis don't know, and I've been
jumping out my skin to tell them,

but I just had to tell you first.

I submitted The Splattering
to the admissions department,

and they freaked for it.
They loved it.

Of course they did. You k*lled it.

The other person's probably some kind of
Christopher Nolan heir, you know.

I probably don't have a sh*t,
but in case I did,

I just... I didn't want this
to come out the blue, and, you know?

- Thanks for letting me know.
- Yeah.

I'm really happy for you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, if this film is any good at all,

it's really 'cause
you found the b*ating heart

of the whole thing, Kinsey.

- Our signature concoction!
- Here you go.

I'm afraid to ask.

Yeah, OJ, Hawaiian Punch,
and three different kinds of schnapps.

We call it the Splattering.

Because if you drink
too much of it, you'll splatter all over.

They get it, Brinker.

To the director and his muse.

- Mmm. Cheers.
- Cheers.

Hey, Rocky Road!

What are you doing here?

You tell me. It's your head.

No.

No, I don't want you in here.

You sure about that?

'Cause it seems like
you can't stop thinking about me.

Yes, I can.

You're missing me already, aren't you?

Maybe if you'd made
some different choices...

I'm not thinking about you anymore.

Hey.

Do you have a second?

The look in her eyes,
it... it was the same as what Mom gets.

She can't remember anything
about the keys?

We... We knew
adults couldn't remember magic.

We just...

didn't know when it started.

And I realized

Jackie will be 18 in three weeks.

And you'll be 18 in a few months.

Okay, so we have time.

- Time to what?
- Change things.

- Maybe.
- Hey.

We've come this far.

We're gonna figure it out.

The mold's ready. How's the iron?

Looks pretty molten to me.