04x06 - Jimmy the Kid

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman!

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

They, uh...

didn't have any Swiss,
so I brought you American.

And milk. Is that okay?

That's fine, Jimmy.
Thank you very much.

Golly, Mr. Kent,

you've been working
about 26 hours a day,

between the office and home.

It's pretty important work.

Yeah, but, you
know the old saying:

"All work and no play..."

Well, in this case,

[SIGHS]

all my work may stop
some pretty foul play, Jimmy.

There's no sense in
your staying here all night.

Why don't you go on
home and go to bed.

Well, but, you mind
if I finish this first?

[CHUCKLES] No.

Go right ahead. Take your time.

MAN: Well?

Did you get it?

No, we didn't.

We went through Kent's
office with a fine-toothed comb.

Nothing.

Sure you went
through everything?

Everything but one cabinet.

That was made out
of case-hardened steel

and had a pickproof lock.

You idiots, that's the one
you should have opened.

[CHUCKLES]

You're supposed to be experts.

The night guard
practically fell over us.

We're lucky we're
not in jail right now.

So you panicked and ran
without finishing the job.

Get this straight, Gridley.

This reporter Kent's got
the goods on you, not us.

If you want that marked money
and those affidavits that bad,

you get 'em.

I knew I couldn't depend on you.

Okay, okay, get 'em yourself.

I will.

In my own way.

Hey, Kid.

Yeah.

I told you to get rid of her.

I got no secrets from Maisie.

I have.

Wait for me someplace.

THUG: Are you crazy?

That's Jimmy Olsen.
Kent's reporter friend.

There's one way to
take care of a snooper.

[g*n COCKS]

[CHUCKLES]

Why don't you teach your
mugs better manners, Gridley.

Boss, this... This is Olsen.

Perfect double,
isn't he, Pruitt?

Look. Here's a picture of Olsen.

Same height, same weight.

Even his eyes and
hair are the same color.

You'll do, Kid.

Boys, this is Kid
Collins from out of town.

I think we can use him.

I don't know what
you're getting at, boss,

but it don't make sense to me.

I still think he's
that reporter.

A reporter? Listen, chum.

The only school I ever
went to was the federal pen

at Folsom last year.

Folsom?

Okay, Mr. Olsen.
You asked for it.

I spent time there myself.

Who's the contact man
for the Midwest mob?

Marty Fargo.
Embezzlement, 20 years.

Who hands out steam room
assignments in the laundry?

Assistant Guard Gorman.

And his brother's
in charge of solitary.

This is on the level then?

It's on the level.

A dead ringer.

A little surprise
package for Kent, Olsen

and the rest of his friends.

[♪♪♪]

Can I help ya?

The guy at the information
desk told me I'd find you here.

He was wrong, then.

Usually you'd find
me in the city room.

Mr. Kent lets me use
his office when he's out.

You trying to confuse me?

Golly, no. I was just
trying to give you the facts.

You see, I'm usually
in the city room.

Skip it.

You're Olsen, aren't ya?

Yeah. Somebody say I wasn't?

What are you doing tonight?

I'm going to the theater.

You see, I got an in
with the drama critic,

and he gave me these passes.

[♪♪♪]

What'd you do that for?

You won't be needin' 'em.

You're coming with me.

Who says so?

This says so.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

I'll be right behind ya.

And I can sh**t this thing

without even making
a hole in my pocket.

How can you do that?

'Cause I already got
a hole in my pocket

from the last time
I used it. Come on.

[DOOR OPENS]

Like finding a twin
brother, eh, Collins?

[SCOFFS]

Yeah.

It's too bad he's such a chump.

I'm not the chump.

I'm smart enough to stay
on the right side of the law.

Shut up.

Sure, you're a chump.

Look at those crummy clothes.

I wouldn't be
caught dead in 'em.

But you'll be caught.

Easy, Collins.

I don't like yappers.

Twenty bucks.

Hey, that's my wallet.

It's got my press
card and identification

and everything in it.

Yeah.

I'm gonna need
'em. For identification.

You've got a lot of
studying to do, Collins.

These are pictures
of all of Olsen's pals

on the newspaper.

Perry White, Lois
Lane, Clark Kent.

What a bunch of creeps.

Good, solid citizens.

There's every bit of information

Olsen should have
about all of them.

But no matter what
you do, you can't be me.

That's a break, kid.

A real break.

Now, come on, let's
start swapping clothes.

[♪♪♪]

Hi, Lois.

In a hurry, Mr. Kent?

For your information, Miss Lane,

Mr. White has just put
my nose to the grindstone.

Happy typing. Thank you.

[ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS]

Hi, Jimmy.

What's on your little mind?

[WOLF WHISTLES]

Why, James Olsen.

Sports.

COLLINS: Yeah, eight.
Have there been any scratches

in the third race
at Brook Green?

Never saw him try that before.

We better call first aid and
have them warm up a stretcher.

[CHUCKLING] You're so right.

Yeah, all right, thanks.

Hey, uh, you oughta grab a piece

of that number
three horse yourself.

Hello, James.

Me? You.

How do you feel?

Oh. I'm fine.

Why?

Oh, I just thought I'd ask.

Enjoying your cigar?

Yeah, it's a good
Havana. Why shouldn't I?

Well, that's a good question.

I'll see you later.

Oh, Clark. Yes, sir.

There's a big forest
fire just outside of town

out in the North Ridge area.

Seems to be
getting out of control.

Dozens of homes
are being threatened.

Go out there and cover it.

When you get the
story, phone it to Olsen.

Rewrites have all
they can handle.

Yes, sir.

Olsen, I'm giving you a break.

I hope you can
handle this assignment.

Like I had a g*n
in each hand, chief,

I'll mow it down.

Take your feet off that desk.

Watch it, dad.

What did you say, Olsen?

I, uh...

Nothin'. Nothin'.

You, uh...

You just watch for that
nifty spiel I'm gonna write ya.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah, Olsen speakin'.

Kent? sh**t.

All right, Jimmy, here's
your forest fire story.

"Luckily, Superman showed up."

Yeah? What happened?

"He flew through the
flames with such speed

that he literally
blew them out."

Smart.

That's a pretty good gag.

"Fortunately, there
was no loss of life,

"but a great deal of valuable
forestland is gone forever.

Due as usual to
someone's carelessness."

Hey, you sound
like an editorial.

And you better make
it read that way too.

Don't forget that most forest
fires are caused by people.

People?

I thought it was matches.

Very funny. Matches too.

But you'd better
get on that story.

Hey, Kent, before
I forget about it,

I hear a couple of
hoods tried heisting

that evidence in your office.

Is it safe?

Jimmy, will you
stop trying to talk

like some kind of an
underworld character?

And stop worrying
about that evidence too.

Some of it's locked in my
files, and the rest of it's home.

At home, huh?

Smart.

Thank you very much.

Now, you better
hit that typewriter.

You have a deadline
to meet, remember?

All right, Olsen, what is it?

You said you wanted to
see this forest fire story.

Well, in all my experience...

Olsen, what in...?
What's gotten into you?

Of all the ridiculous...

"A forest fire tried to
muscle into Metropolis today.

"It was hotter than the
hot seat at Sing Sing.

"Along came Superman
just in time, like the FBI.

"Any crumb but Superman
would have blew his top,

"but Superman
blowed out the fire.

It was duck soup for him."

What kind of
journalism is that, Olsen?

If you don't like it,
White, it's your tough luck.

And get this through your head,

I don't need your crummy
job in the first place, see.

Olsen, f*ring you would
be much too simple.

You deserve a more
serious punishment.

And you're going to get it.

In spades.

Now, out. Get out!

Thanks.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR SHUTS]

Great Caesar's ghost.

[♪♪♪]

Jimmy.

What in the world are you up to?

Um... Mr. Kent said he
had some passes for me,

and I thought they
might be in here.

Well, you'll just have to wait
until he gives them to you.

Outside, James.

Yeah. Did you see the boss?

He said he was looking for ya.

[CHUCKLES] Nice try, Jimmy.

The passes will
still have to wait.

Okay.

But I'll be back for
what I want, honey.

Honey?

[♪♪♪]

Why, hello, Mr. Olsen.

Isn't Mr. Kent at home?

No, I guess he isn't.

Oh, well, you'd probably
prefer waiting for him inside.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Oh, Collins. Any luck?

The jackpot, almost.

I got the affidavits,

and I'm going back
for the marked money.

Hey, um, by the way,

what kind of a bonus do I get
if I tell you who Superman is?

Superman's identity?

You name it. Tell me.

[SNICKERS]

Later.

Right now, in a half hour,

meet me in the alley across
from the Planet building.

We'll be there.

And the money I give
you, Kid, won't be marked.

Well, gentlemen, looks
like we're off the hook.

And this chump's right on it.

Let's go.

Sorry, son, but
when we get back,

we'll have to take care
of you permanently.

Leave the lights on.

Looks more legitimate,
like we're workin' late.

Yeah, we are.

Kid! Kid.

Oh, honey.

Oh, I never heard of such a...

How dare that Gridley.

What happened, Kid?

Look, miss...

Miss?

I mean, m-m-mister
Gridley tied me up.

But... But why?

Untie me and I'll explain.

Ya see, baby, I had
the goods on 'em.

Baby? Oh, honey.

You never called me that before.

Please! I can't breathe.

They tried to double-cross me.

Nobody's gonna treat
my husband like that.

Let's get out of this town, Kid.

Oh, sure.

Sure, but, uh, first, Gridley
owes me some money.

And I'm gonna collect from
him, so you wait right here.

My clothes.

If you're chilly, your
topcoat's down in the car.

Right in front of the building.

Swell.

Sorry to have kept
you so late, Lois.

But somebody had to write
that story Olsen messed up.

Well, that's all right,
chief. Glad to do it.

Well, you better knock off
now and get some rest. Right.

See you in the
morning. Good night.

[♪♪♪]

[CLUNKING AND RUSTLING]

Jimmy Olsen.

Haven't you caused
enough trouble today?

Why don't you mind
your own business.

Why, Jimmy.

You never talked to
me like that before.

Since you brought
the subject up,

that's why I'm here so late,
finishing up your business.

The rewrite on the fire story.

You missed a good one, Jim.

Front page and I got the banner.

You got the what?

The banner.

Well, that's the first
thing you learned in the...

Why, of course.

Your freshness.

The cigars.

The way you wrote that article.

And now, not knowing
what a banner headline is.

You look incredibly like him,

but you're not
Jimmy Olsen at all.

Don't move, sister.

Okay.

I'm not your
crummy, little friend.

But I am a guy who
gets what he wants,

and I don't play games.

And what I want's in that file.

So sit down and shut up.

And I thought you'd
prefer Mr. Olsen's

waiting for you in here.

I... I hope I didn't
do the wrong thing.

Hm? Oh, no, Mrs. Cooper,
and, uh, thank you very much.

What could Jimmy
have been looking for?

[SIGHS]

Hello, Planet? This is Kent.

Get me the night watchman
in the lobby, will you, please?

Hello, Harry? Kent.

Did Jimmy Olsen come in?

Oh, you say he's
there right now.

Okay, Harry, thanks a lot.

It's tough steel.

But what's in here
will pay me plenty.

There's the real payoff.

What is it?

I told you I'm a
guy that gets things.

It's a little item I picked up

in Kent's apartment.

Or should I say
Superman's joint.

You mean that Clark Kent?

It figures.

Looks like Superman
keeps a spare around.

Anyway, what I want's in here.

Then I skip town.

Get back, sister.

I warn you, one more move...

[SIGHS]

Somebody must
have the key to this file.

No one but Mr. Kent
and the chief...

And you just gave the
old geezer the story.

Come on, sister.

Let's go see him.

Say, how long are we
gonna wait for this character?

Until he gets here.

Hey, there he is.

Hey, Collins.

Over here, Collins.

Well, Kid?

Keep your shirts on.

Just wait here.

All right, all right.

But tell me, who is Superman?

That's a good question.

No.

Better play it his way.

He's a pretty tough hombre.

Whoever you are,

and I still find it
hard to believe

you're not Olsen gone crazy,

I refuse to comply
with your request

for the key to the file.

In plain English,
that means no, huh?

Exactly.

Look, dad.

You got more than
yourself to worry about.

You're responsible for her too.

You wouldn't dare.

You got exactly one minute.

What was that?

I didn't hear anything.

It was the elevator.
Somebody's heading this way.

Don't move.

Chief. Miss Lane.

Jimmy. Look out!

[BLOW STRIKES]

You coward you.

Oh, Jimmy.

Seeing we were
interrupted, I'll be big-hearted.

You've still got one minute

to get the key to
that filing cabinet.

Five seconds, dad.

Smart.

Now, do one more smart thing,
and nothing will happen to ya.

Give me 10 minutes' start
before you call the cops. Deal?

Don't make any
deals with him, chief.

It's a deal, Collins.

Ten minutes.

[♪♪♪]

Why did you let
him get away with it?

You saw what he did to Olsen.

I couldn't take a chance
on his harming you.

But aren't you going
to call the police?

Not for 10 minutes.

I gave him my word.

Here he comes now.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Where's your topcoat?

I got the marked money,
and I got the affidavits.

What do I care about a topcoat?

Hey, how 'bout you...?

Olsen showed up,

and I had to clobber him.

You mean, the guy we saw here

a few minutes ago
was Olsen, not you?

That's about right.

We're all as hot now
as a fireman's hat.

We better get out of town fast.

Okay, back to my office
and clean out the safe.

[♪♪♪]

Superman. Is he all right?

He's coming around.

Some horrible character,
who looks exactly like him,

practically knocked
Jimmy's head off.

Looks exactly like him.

Well, that explains
a great deal.

Like what, for example?

Oh, nothing important, sir.

Oh, whoever it was left that.

He said he found it in
Clark Kent's apartment.

Gridley.

Gridley.

That's it.

Miss Lane, will you
please call the police.

Tell them to go to Gridley's
office in the Barkley Building.

Right.

[♪♪♪]

That suitcase
from the next room.

What's the matter, boss?

The combination won't work.

Are you sure
you dialed it right?

Dialed it right?

With $800,000 cash in there,

think I'd forget
the combination?

Cops are probably
closing in on us right now.

Well, I'll have to try again.

SUPERMAN: That won't
be necessary, Gridley.

What's that?

Where'd it come from?

Superman!

Stop sh**ting!

Those b*ll*ts are
bouncing all over!

[GRUNTING]

Well, for once, you
all did a fine job.

We got a clean scoop
on the Gridley case

and put some pretty dangerous
characters behind bars.

With a little assist
from Superman.

You've still have a
question to answer, Mr. Kent,

about this costume Collins
found in your apartment.

Oh, that.

Chief, you remember that
story you wanted me to write

for the, uh, Sunday
magazine section?

No. What story?

Oh, chief, you remember,
it's all about Superman.

His likes, his dislikes,

his day-to-day existence,
all that sort of thing.

Yes, yes, of course, I remember.

And I must say you've
taken plenty of time with it.

It's been weeks since I
gave you that assignment.

Yes, chief, and
I'm sorry about it,

but I've got all
the pictures now.

As a matter of fact, I've
even got a description

of Superman's costume, so, uh...

Don't you think we
oughta give it back?

Lois?

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman!

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.